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2021-08-21 01:54:12I walk into the office where Alexi has been holed up for hours and rap on the door as I enter to get his attention. Dressed in another tight jersey dress today, this one is long sleeved and stretchy, black to match my mood and broken up with a gold belt that matches my killer heel shoes. I’m in sleek chic and not been in a very merry frame of mind all day. I feel like I have been tugging along a looming black cloud everywhere I go since last night, and I am just simmering with hostile energy.
‘What is it?’ He doesn’t rip his eyes away from his laptop as he types, just keeps on with whatever he is doing, and I linger by the door. Mildly annoyed that he doesn’t even give me a look to acknowledge me properly, seeing as this is the first I have seen him today. He has been holed up out of my way and sending moody vibes through the whole building from afar. It feels like everyone has been tiptoeing around, and I am pretty sure he is the cause. A look o
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 121
I had no one else though, and despite everything she did to me, I would still clean her up when she was laid passed out on the floor and covered in sick. I would put her to bed and try to clean our shitty rooms in a bid to please her. I would beg for money and food to take care of us. Even after that day, I still used my own wiles and skill to make sure our house had heat and food, and I never let her starve. She didn’t provide for us, she just laid around wasted.I watched her when she was out of her face on a high, and I bathed her when she hit the sweats, shits, shakes and convulsions of withdrawal. I did my duty, and slowly over the years, all I felt for her disappeared along with her health and it became a burden instead. She taught me how to resent.I didn’t have a childhood, I didn’t know what it was like to know affection or love, so even now I find it hard to give or receive that elusive emotion in a healthy way. Mico and Jackson are slowly c
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 122
Weirdly, my day isn’t as bad as every previous year.I find myself watching movies and eating cake without really pondering anything of the past and anytime I catch sight of my new pretty, it makes me feel kind of strange. I have no idea why. I mean, I love jewellery as much as the next girl, but I have never been particularly attached to any I ever owned.This one little bracelet is fast forming some strange attachment to my heartstrings so that anytime I catch a glimpse, I smile. Stupid little inward bubbles I cannot explain.Maybe it’s because in all the twenty-nine birthdays I have had, this is the first one someone bought me a gift; Even if it was from him. It’s a strange feeling to think of it that way, yet it has somehow distracted me from the usual routine of tears and low mood and lying in a depressive state. The dandelion reference got me thinking and maybe I’m not done with it yet.My tattoo had a meaning once, and despi
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 123
Seeing them closer sets me off once more and I’m done for; laughing harder while I fish around in my purse and wave money at Jackson as if to motion that I need these.I can’t wait to see Alexi’s face when I hand these over as a thank you for my London themed birthday gifts. I cannot even imagine him getting it at all or breaking a smile on that moody starchy pants face of his; even better. A joke he might not get, but I cannot resist it. New York socks for Kingpin New York himself.I try to calm myself as Jackson pays for them and hands me back a paper bag that is so street tacky that it hits me all over again in a third intensive wave. Tacky socks in a brown paper bag and I am giving them to the Mafia billionaire as a thank you for a sarcastic gift—just perfect.I have no idea why this is making me crease up so much, or even why it’s as funny as it is, but I just can’t stop, even when Jackson hands me my greasy dog and I tuc
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 124
I wake up disorientated and groggy, well rested but so out of whack. I’m in my own bed when I was sure I fell asleep on the couch during my movie marathon and blink at my surroundings. I sit up suddenly when I realise that I don’t have my duvet over me, but the throw from the end of my bed and can only assume I was put here by someone else. I am still wearing my sweatpants and yoga bra and try to get my bearings. Completely confused at how I ended up through here.The smell of coffee lingers in the air and I get up warily to stretch and yawn, knowing only one person would be in here brewing that foul stench, and he is probably the one who moved me from the couch. He maybe came up and wanted to sit in the living room and moved me for that reason. I shrug it off; run my fingers through my bedhead before padding out into the apartment sleepily.It feels eerily still and I can tell no one else is here anymore, but the mess I left on the coffee table has been cl
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 125
Tears fill my eyes, blurring my vision as my hand starts to tremble around the can I am still holding; instantly blown away by something so basic. I mentally shake it off as I check myself, pulling my shit together; breathe out the overwhelming wave of emotions and lean down slowly to tip out the contents into his bowl. I lay the can on the ground, still bent over and tentatively reach for the cats back, pausing with nerves cascading out of every pore—Tense and hopeful.He makes another sweep against me, even though his food is there, and gently I run my fingers along his spine feeling his soft fur and surprisingly warm body heat which completely soothes my soul. The cat butts his head up to meet my palm and for a second of sheer joy lets my rub his head properly.It’s short-lived—as soon as he sees the food is out he darts off, tail in the air and the moment is gone, but it was a moment of utter completion for me and my chest and stomach are brimming
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 126
‘Just a little bit of touching … You’re too irresistible to not want to touch.’ It’s a wink, a return of playful and yet my heart plummets.Don’t go there, Alexi, please. I don’t want to fight again. I mentally will him to not go down this route and just push his hand away as he smiles my way.‘Did you have some sort of personality transplant when I was gone?’ I chide him, half serious and deflating inside, knowing that this was a dumb invitation to accept. There’s too much between us that comes out whenever we are left alone, and I don’t think we should try to build any sort of camaraderie outside of the club if this is anything to go by. History means there is so much tension and resentment lying in the silence that neither of us wants to air. I’m not that great a communicator, and he seems like he wants avoidance of the before too.‘Maybe I just had a wake-up
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 127
The club is high end, huge and very clearly well used in a very trendy part of Midtown, it’s called ‘Alfa’s’. Its décor isn’t overly dated, just a little worn and faded, and even empty you can smell the years of sweat, boozy-bodied dancers and stale smoke. It’s modern and obviously up market but it just misses the little ‘va voom’ that makes a place stand out.I take a walk around the vast room of multi-levelled platforms and seating as Alexi talks to his manager by the bar, sitting sipping an ice water because he is driving and watching me do my slow evaluation. He told me to go explore and tell him what I think needs to be done and it’s exactly what I am doing while I get a little head space.I can feel his eyes on me every second, burning my skin and giving me goosebumps. He’s been weirdly quiet and distant since we got in here and that suits me fine. Careful not to get too chummy, and even though he
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 128
She’s small and brunette, curvy in places with an ample pair of tits and has that exotic brown-eyed beauty of a native Sicilian —Attractive in a wifely, cosy girl next door kind of way. I’m not impressed much by her, and she’s dressed like an Italian peasant right out of a history book. I wonder if it’s the gimmick for this place.Alexi is as he always is around adoring Carrero women, even though she is not one. Charming, warm and entertaining and seems to think touchy-feely is appropriate as she leans in for an awkward hug that lasts for a few seconds. I watch with a lack of amusement, gut aching a little while I battle the spiralling emotion rising in my stomach of my jealous bitch side clenching her claws into my soul. Bitterness has a horrible taste.She ignores my presence, even when Alexi says my name mid foreign spew of words, and she barely glances my way. It’s not hard to tell she has a major thing for him and I lift my menu
Last Updated : 2021-08-21
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 190
I’m standing staring at myself in the mirror, nerves eating away at me and fidgeting with my dress a little obsessively. It’s long, fitted, ivory, and very classy. A sleek, full-length, fishtailed number that looks great on my body, with my toned-down neutral face and minimal jewellery. Stomach in knots and anally checking my appearance like my life depends on it. Despite knowing, I look flawless. Déjà vu from the morning I met his mother and yet this is way worse. I’m terrified. “You look gorgeous, stop fretting.” Alexi’s voice comes from behind me and he sways to the side of me as he approaches. I stop him mid-step and lean my body against him gently. Backing myself against him. This is something I have been working on for a while now. Letting Alexi get behind me, touch me when standing there and leaning against him. He doesn’t object, just stands still recognising my attempt and lets me fall back against him gently. It’s stupid and weird, I guess, that it’
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Soon as we get out the door Mico flanks me on one side with Alexi on the other and we are instantly surrounded by more Carrero security. Like a black wall that’s impenetrable and offers instant calm to my frazzled brain. Guiding us efficiently and shielding us from all angles. Overkill, but I guess I’m thankful for it.“What about the rest of her outfit?” Alexi asks as we walk briskly out of the building, the first to leave, but I can already hear chairs scraping as others depart, now we have. Some of them eager to walk away now they've found a resolution to this debacle.It’s weird how something that hung over us for months is tied up with a bow in one very brief sitting. I can’t get my head around the fact the threat is gone, and I no longer need to live under house arrest for any reason. A sudden lightness to my mood as the heavy weight of burden is lifted.“Most departed as soon as they heard their source of income w
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They lead us to a large, carved, ugly wooden door depicting nude women mid-orgy, and I eye roll at the crassness. Suits Santagato to a T. Mico slides in front of us quickly, knocks on it several times in a coded bang while we wait silently and patiently. Tension making the air so thick I can almost cut it with a knife. I have to still my trembling body, clinging onto him for dear life, focusing on his warm hand encasing mine snugly as a form of grounding and I repeat the mantra ‘he will always protect me’ inside my head.It’s opened immediately and two men move aside as we are let into a dark, smoky room where several men are sitting at a long table. I cannot count how many there are, eyes scanning the crowded scene quickly as my focus tries to adjust rapidly. I swallow my breath, my heart plummets and I just let him take the lead.Alexi walks us in behind two of his men and Mico. I can tell at a glance which ones are the bosses, by their suits and gr
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 187
“Please,” I whisper it so quietly, begging him to stop questioning, to just take what I’m offering him. He surely understands my reasons. I close my eyes when he finally leans up and pulls one end of the strap and tugs it off my wrist slowly. The material sliding coldly and making me shiver. Eyes on what he’s doing, and I exhale, appeased that we are still going ahead even if a part of me dies a little inside. Like an idiot because I started this.I wait with bated breath for the dreaded feel of leather on my skin, but nothing happens. Anticipation makes me tetchy, heightening my senses to alarming levels and I notice every noise and sensation. I'm antsy and I can’t stand it anymore.Instead, the slide of the one around my neck startles me and I gulp in air, jumping slightly, realising he might start with leashing me and tying me after he gets a makeshift collar on me. A lot of men like Alexi like to have you leashed and tied up for full c
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 186
Teeth, tongues, lips, coming together of a rather aggressive game of tonsil tennis as his hands slide up my body and I wrap my legs around his waist. Moaning quietly with the way he ignites every nerve ending in me. Body tingling and on fire within seconds as I rub myself against the button and rough zip on his trousers, pushing myself into a fevered frenzy of longing.There is no real foreplay, just a sudden need to consummate our passion right here and now and I reach down and unbutton him so he can spring free from the confines of fabric. Alexi feels me out, probing my warmth with his fingers, finding me wet and willing and doesn’t waste time on formalities.He slides into me soon as he leans back over me and presses down on me as he does so, so our bodies fit snugly and muffle my moans of pleasure as they overtake me. Snug as a hand in a glove, he fills me up in the best kind of way, spreading that pulsating, gorgeously good feeling up through my pelvis and i
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These are things people figure out before they marry someone, and here we are, already invested and now I’m thinking about the fact I should have told him this already.Babies! Not a fucking chance in hell. He won’t know, unless he did read all my journals, but even then. I wouldn’t say it was obvious from those diary excerpts that my inability to have kids was permanent or even a blessing. I went over the abortion and such and the after-effects and recovery, but I don’t think I ever spelt it out, in black and white, that my body no longer produces eggs for any chance of fertilisation.How do you tell the man cradling a newborn like he was born to do so if that’s where his hopes lie then it won’t happen with me?How do I tell him that I can’t give him this and wouldn’t want to even if I could? Is this what he wants?The happy 2.4 children, family home a
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It’s not the expected outcome; grown woman turning to childish puppy dog mush, pawing at her angry husband like a devious minx; I find myself eye rolling at the lamest form of female manipulation there is.“You knew? You met her?” Accusatory tone as she tries to regain some footing. Alexi sighs loudly and I glance his way to see him turn and butt himself against the table, throwing me an unreadable look before he downs another drink and I try not to count how many that is. By the look of his sudden lack of trying, I guess he has been prone to scenes like this before, where his father had to steamroll in to defend him, and Alexi mentally goes off on a cruise and leaves him to it. I just stand here like an idiot, a third wheel and in no way wanting to witness this shit.“He’s my son. He has no secrets from me, he never did. Unlike you, he confides in me and comes to me often!” It’s putting her in her place and any other mother mi
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The house is huge and beautiful like some sort of movie set for the lifestyle of the rich and famous. A towering white mansion set in a beautiful green manicured garden like some modern painting. Set in the sunny Hamptons, near the coast in a very picturesque area that comprises of nothing but huge grand houses, that just spew wealth. I can see why the Carreros reign supreme here. It’s like the real housewives of Orange County.Their home a show house for sure, completely devoid of lived in family life and we are let in by a maid who ushers us into a sitting room in what appears to be a deserted house until she runs off to find our host. Marble entranceway not dissimilar to that of Alexi’s nearby abode, huge sweeping staircase in a flawless neutral palette. It’s glossy magazine worthy with massive professional vases of floral arrangements dotted at key points on expensive furniture around the edges of the room.I find it odd that Alexi is being treate
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“I can’t do this, Lexi.” My heart is hammering through my chest and I have checked my appearance three dozen times in the full-length mirror of the bedroom we stayed in for the rest of the night. Obsessed with my appearance as anxiety strangles the life out of me. Trying to focus on something I can control and getting a little preoccupied with its importance.We were busy most of last night, making up for our strained day with lots of gentle lovemaking, kissing and caresses, and I’m aglow with his attention today. Cheeks flushed, skin dewy, and a twinkling happiness in my eyes I’ve never seen before. I felt completely chilled when I got up this morning, well almost completely. That was until he dumped this little announcement on me that we’re having a cosy family brunch at Mummy’s house.Ugh. Last night was a repeat of the night he first made love to me, after the failed kidnapping at the club. Only without him
