At thirty-two he felt that he had experienced everything and nothing at the same time. The kind of experience he had, was not the kind of experience that was funny or that he wants to remember, it is the kind of experience that added nothing to him and that caused him to mess up the lives of everyone around him in every way. Perhaps the worst of these was to totally break the company of his own family. Carrying that burden is the worst thing of all. All right, now it seems that things are working out again, the new partners are helping him a lot with new campaigns, but of course that memory is still there. And with it the contempt of his parents, especially his father.Even though they have not been in contact at all, he knew that his father still had a grudge against him and he could not blame him for this. Being inconsequential is, perhaps, what can end someone's life. Be it in a relationship, be it in a friendship, be it in a family. Robert managed to be in every pillar. Today, wit
Linna woke up without knowing what time it was, she still felt very sleepy, it was already morning and she knew this only by the slightly open window making the sun beat against the wall of the bedroom door. Looking around the place he saw Robert sleeping on the couch available in a very uncomfortable way, but it seemed to be very quiet. The sound of his breathing was quiet and loud, she wondered why he was doing all this now when he had no obligation. It was certainly a big surprise to herself all this, and even more so all that support he was giving her, how could she give up sleeping in his huge mansion, in his comfortable bed, to sleep on a mere sofa inside a private hospital room? Having a couch in these rooms is unfortunately not synonymous with being conche. And even if he was looking like a butterfly in his cocoon, his back would hurt afterwards.In fact Linna is sure that no one had that obligation, that burden of having to be there beside him every moment of his miserable li
Robert turned away, put his hand on his face, turned his back to the woman sitting on the hospital bed and frowned, letting a few tears fall. Because the feeling that still existed there was of guilt, even though he had so many feelings about that woman. As she turned around, her eyes widened in surprise at seeing that white face denouncing her crying.- Don't you realize that I'm in love with you? - Her question came out painfully. - Don't you realize that everything I'm doing is to make you really realize that I'm not the same person anymore and that the last thing I want to do is hurt you? I'm not doing any of this because I feel obligated, I'm doing it because it's what my heart asks! I want to help you, I want to be with you, I want to love you, Linna. Right now if you need me to get down on the ground to get over me I'll do it, because I want you to be okay. That's what you do when you love someone, isn't it? You take care of that person. That's what I'm doing. I thought I had l
Linna stood with Robert's help, three days passed, she had the precise tests and the doctor arranged to talk to the two of them as soon as she was ready to leave the hospital. She couldn't take any more of that bland food and should be thankful for Robert's stubbornness for bringing her some salty treats that were much tastier than what the hospital has to offer. The smell of the room itself was not at all unpleasant and even if she denied it to herself she knew that it was due to the mixture of alcohol gel and his masculine perfume.Spending three days there was the same as admiring him and every move he made while he was there with you, especially alone. The silence was always present, but it had become quite natural and not forced at all, fortunately everything was going well in this respect. Now she also knew a lot of things about him, things she shouldn't know, like the way he always leaves his hand on top of his stomach when he sleeps, or lap he scratches his head when he gets n
- You seemed relaxed in the room about that. - Being inside the clinic now you just had to look for the doctor's room, Robert remembered the number, it was seven.- I was in a room, only the doctor came in, and only who I like! I don't like receptions, to see all these sick people and all this rush, it's a melancholy place! - She snorted, and Robert in turn put his cheek against her neck.- People you like, huh? Do you like me? - Linna closed her eyes, hiding her laughter with him right at her ear, showing that she had only heard the part of him that wanted her.- Shut up, Robert. - She knocked on the white door with the golden number and as soon as she heard one she opened it. He saw the doctor looking at some papers, this time without any contradictory smile. - Good morning, Talia.- Good morning. - Repeated the other, the two sat down in the armchairs in front of the doctor. Talia crossed her two hands.- Good morning. - She took a deep sigh before starting to give the news. - I mus
He turned on the light and there she was. Robert walked into the mini library he had in his house, seeing only Linna's silhouette sitting on the large comfortable couch, she was staring at nothing and thinking about everything. With a sigh she approached, she had seen Matthew in the afternoon and by tomorrow he would be traveling. The flight was delayed because of the time he was in the hospital and it was no use. She couldn't stay all that time with her son any longer.The truth was that she was afraid that she would die at any moment. Linna always believed in fate, she always believed that when we die we are predestined to this, to this death, in this time. Only the feeling was different now. She always had the thought of going first, she couldn't bear to be without the people she loves most, like her parents and her son. But the thought of leaving them so soon haunts her. That's what she thinks about when she lays in bed to sleep and when she wakes up clinging to her pillow.They w
Linna hated moments like that. Reason? She doesn't know what to say. What would you say after yet another statement? This time as explicit as that one? It becomes harder and harder to tame her own feelings, in fact they were never tamed. They were lurking there. Being forced by her mind to stay in that little corner of punishment and never leave. But then when would she live? She was never loved, romantically speaking, by anyone. No man had ever proved fit enough for that all-important position. She was independent now, what was stopping her? More than ever she needed to live. Because the day of your death may be getting closer and closer.- I like you. - she whispered, and felt ashamed at the same time. - I know it's not what you want to hear yet, it's not an I love you, but I feel attached to you. Our coexistence here in your house is difficult for me, because we are so close and yet so far apart. You in the living room and me in the bedroom, each one with his own life. At first it
Linna woke up the next day feeling her body being grabbed by Matt, usually he doesn't sleep with her however she didn't think twice about letting him since he's going far away. The smell of baby soap flooded her nostrils, she closed her swollen eyes nuzzling her nose against his hair. Gathering the courage to get up, she looked at the time, it was only an hour before check-in time at the airport.- Matt, Matthew time to get up. Only an hour to go to the airport. - She broke the embrace by touching her son's hair and pushing herself up. It was actually quite a while until they left the house, but she knew him too well. Matthew always fumbles to get up, so calling him now is like saying there are only twenty minutes left. He snickered and growled, turning away as she stalked out of the room, eager to go to the bathroom. To her surprise the usual shower was being used by Robert, the door was open, he was wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist while his hair dripped against his lea
- What do you say we take a trip this weekend Matt?Robert went to pick up his son from school after feeling guilty for not getting up early enough to take him. Matt was happy that his father had gone and recognized that he was also doing his best to do what his mother was doing on such short notice.- Where to? - Going to places away from home encouraged the pre-teen, fortunately. It was hard to get used to a routine without his mother around.- I thought we might go to Orlando, have you been to Disney?Robert didn't have any trips planned, but he knew that he needed to cool off and his son needed that too. When he thought of a trip to take with Matthew the first place that came to mind was Disney, because it was a totally childish place he wanted to make sure that both of them didn't stop to think about it that way.- Really Dad? I've never been there, Mom always said she would save up money for us to go, but we always ended up taking other trips. She seemed to want to go there more
Three days had passed since his burial, Robert remained lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling of his room. Absolutely nothing was funny. He hadn't slept for a day since he had seen her in that coffin. He had been through grief before, but this was much stronger than himself. The love he felt for her was not able to show even half as much as the illness took her away.At the funeral Robert sat beside her, in the white plastic chair that was not at all comfortable, every second from seven in the morning until three in the afternoon he stayed there. Without eating, without drinking. He stroked her loose curls down the side of her face, would it be too much to say that she looked beautiful? He loved her natural shape, no make-up, pink lips and messy hair. This is how she looked. Linna didn't have pale skin, her melanin glowed. Her outfit had been a flowered dress, she liked joy, she never had this kind of conversation with Robert but he felt she deserved the best. So she asked to be dr
- The methodology we use is the fastest, which has a four-day deadline. - he agreed, he was not interested in what it was but how long it would take. - The cross math is basically when we put together her serum samples with her cells, which would serve as a kind of simulation, what would occur in an organ transplant. If Linna has in her blood composition the antibodies against HLA antigens from the donor's cell membranes, she can almost totally reject the organ received through transplantation, which in this case would be hers. Already in this case, the compatibility test is considered positive, and the transplant is contraindicated. The crossmatch test can use only total lymphocytes, without separation of subtypes, and is called an Initial crossmatch test. So basically people who have the same blood type, for example, are not indicated to do it, because it would certainly snow the organ.- That's fine. - She understood almost nothing of what was said by the short, thin nurse. - In fo
- What are the chances that you are a match? Of any of them being a match? I don't have any hope left. - Robert looked at her like a newborn baby that needed a lot of care. That was how he saw her at that moment. If he could take her into a glass bubble and keep her there until she recovered, he would do it. It would protect her from the world, from everything. Including his own body.- Baby, it's going to be all right! - He knew that this was his last hope. The compatibility test. If they all came back negative there was really nothing to be done, and Linna would just be waiting for the time to go out of their lives. Because she was weak, mellow, pale. When you meet someone radiant and see them like this your will is to give all your strength to that person.- Will you lie here with me? - she asked brazenly.- No. You're in pain and you can't move, not even think. If you want I can lower the arm of the bed and you can lie on my chest. - She rolled her eyes and agreed, in fact she at
Linna opened her eyes slowly, blinking countless times in a second feeling a huge pain in her back. Until her eyes got used to the dim lighting of the place and she could finally see everything around her, including the doctor who was waiting for her to wake up, slouched over the arm of the hospital bed. Her mouth was extremely dry, which made her cough before she could say anything.- My back... - Her voice was very low and hoarse, she tried to move, but Talia denied it with her head, touching her arm lightly. - They hurt a lot.- Don't move. - The doctor came a little closer.- How long have I been here? - The rain was falling hard outside, she was still unable to turn her head to look through the glass window.- Today is the fifth day. - Linna would be able to widen her eyes if her head didn't hurt so much. - You've had another alveolar hemorrhage, Linna. - she sighed. - This time much more intense. We had to put a blood bag of a few millimeters for you. Your body is being attacked
She touched her mother's face, it was impossible not to smile with all that innocence. As if it were easy.- Oh my son, I'd love to but you're a child, you can't. - Matthew hugged his mother's body, Linna hugged him back tightly, smelling the baby soap he has been using since birth because he has allergies to some kinds of soap.- Mom, I don't want to introduce you anymore. You can tell the school and then they'll write another paper! - I said, whispering in his ear, afraid that his father was going to make him go to the presentation because of his grade.- It's okay, Matt. If you don't want to, we won't force you to. - He pulled away and touched his even smaller hands. - See, your dad will call the school and explain what happened, and you'll stay here with me.- Are you sure? - Robert walked over and watched Matt's hair flip up and down like it had after the nasty thing he said. His son just nodded. - Matt, I'm sorry I talked like that, but you have to understand that sometimes it's
- I have a headache. This damn headache again! - He put his hand on his temple and snorted loudly.- Hey. It's okay, if you want you can stay home and I'll take Matt to the presentation, or I can ask my mom to take him.- No, we'll go. - Linna forced her eyes to turn to him and tried to look at him, but Robert noticed her distant eyes and held her fat face in his hands.- No. You're in no condition to go. I'm going to stay here with you and call my mother! - He said, already seeing Linna frown several times in a row, which indicated that she was going to cry very soon.- Go with Matthew, he wants his parents to watch him together at least once. - she whimpered in supplication.- I'm not leaving you alone, Linna. Don't be stubborn. What if something happens and you're here alone? That's no idea. - Matt entered the room and his smile vanished when he saw his mother with her head down and apparently sad.- Mom, is everything okay? - They both looked at him in a rush, she in particular sw
On the evening of that day Matthew had a presentation at school, a theater performance of The Wizard of Oz, where he would be the scarecrow. During the day there were preparations inside the school, he didn't even imagine that his parents were dressed as a bride and groom almost lost on a rented farm in the middle of nowhere. The two looked at each other like never before, if before their love could be exhaled, now it was able to shine like an angel. They got back to each other before nightfall, after they had played catch-up and finished with the bottle of wine.Matt was in the shower while Robert and Linna finished dinner, it wasn't even seven o'clock yet and the presentations would start at eight. There was silence, no cell phones, with a few glances exchanged in shy and sincere smiles. The cutlery banging against the plate, apart from all the cicadas, was the only noise.- How could she sleep for so long with those cicadas? - Linna cleaned her plate after the last bite, the cicada
- I love you, Robert. I've never known love before, I've had other boyfriends but they all become insignificant next to you. I've never felt anything like it. My heart is racing now, and it's racing every moment I think of you, think of being with you. - Linna took his hand and placed it on her chest, Robert felt the palpitations as if her heart were in his hands. - With you I've learned what real love is. I've accepted some things that I considered to be love and you were never even a hint of it. We started living together and even exchanging basic words I felt your concern for me, I felt that in the smallest gestures you cared and did things that showed this like leaving the coffee ready. Even if you dared to say it was for Matthew too. - She laughed weakly through her tears. - When we started to talk, to live closer to each other, I understood that there was already love there. There was already admiration, respect, regret. Repentance was crucial for both of us. We both did horribl