Linna hated moments like that. Reason? She doesn't know what to say. What would you say after yet another statement? This time as explicit as that one? It becomes harder and harder to tame her own feelings, in fact they were never tamed. They were lurking there. Being forced by her mind to stay in that little corner of punishment and never leave. But then when would she live? She was never loved, romantically speaking, by anyone. No man had ever proved fit enough for that all-important position. She was independent now, what was stopping her? More than ever she needed to live. Because the day of your death may be getting closer and closer.- I like you. - she whispered, and felt ashamed at the same time. - I know it's not what you want to hear yet, it's not an I love you, but I feel attached to you. Our coexistence here in your house is difficult for me, because we are so close and yet so far apart. You in the living room and me in the bedroom, each one with his own life. At first it
Linna woke up the next day feeling her body being grabbed by Matt, usually he doesn't sleep with her however she didn't think twice about letting him since he's going far away. The smell of baby soap flooded her nostrils, she closed her swollen eyes nuzzling her nose against his hair. Gathering the courage to get up, she looked at the time, it was only an hour before check-in time at the airport.- Matt, Matthew time to get up. Only an hour to go to the airport. - She broke the embrace by touching her son's hair and pushing herself up. It was actually quite a while until they left the house, but she knew him too well. Matthew always fumbles to get up, so calling him now is like saying there are only twenty minutes left. He snickered and growled, turning away as she stalked out of the room, eager to go to the bathroom. To her surprise the usual shower was being used by Robert, the door was open, he was wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist while his hair dripped against his lea
- Not exactly. I am trusting him again, that's what I would say. I am more and more surprised and happy to see him taking such good care of Matthew, I didn't expect him to be so caring and concerned as a father.- It was a surprise to everyone, it was the best decision to make, like it or not he had the right to know that he is a father. If you were a little more stubborn you wouldn't have obeyed me and something bad would have happened. - she gestured, touching her daughter's nose. - But he's in love with you, Linna. And that anyone can tell. The way he looks at you, the way he smiles at you, he admires you. And I don't know if I like saying this because I don't like him.- Do you think I haven't noticed this? I did notice it. That's why I can't say if we have something, because we are still getting closer. I don't want you to put pressure on me, Mom. You know I like it when things happen naturally and unhurriedly. - She huffed, crossing her arms.- I'm not pressuring you, far from i
When a philosophy professor tells us that happiness is a relative thing, the way it is put is confusing. And the truth is that he is right. More than forty percent of the population is happy based on material things, and this does not include money. And five percent of the population is happy with minimal things like family or just being well. When we understand true happiness, we understand why many people see life differently. - Do you need help? - Robert slammed his finger against her door arriving just in time, Linna was packing her suitcase, she had a hard time thinking about what clothes to bring, after all it is quite cold there and there weren't that many clothes for something freezing, it was only two days but she was planning enough and it wasn't just clothes, there were shoes too. And let's just say that the suitcase was too small for all this stuff.- See if you can close the rest of that suitcase, please.As soon as he laid eyes on her he noticed that she was sweaty, her
- Let's go to the forest. The cottage is in the middle of it, it's about two hours from here. Don't worry, it's dark but I know the people here and luckily it's not bear season. - He tried to calm Linna, who nodded. - What do you say we buy something to eat on the way? We can stop at a convenience store.- You know a lot of people around here. - She commented, not that this was bad, in fact it was great. Getting to know it from other people's perspective is not a bad thing, it's something we have to face.- This is my grandmother's hometown, the one that passed away in my arms. She always came here at the end of the year, or on my mid-year vacation, I always came with her. She was well-loved by everyone here and I always walked around the whole town like a little kid playing around. - She laughed, starting the car. - This town brings me peace.- I imagine it does. - She stroked the little bit of hair on the back of his neck. Robert had shaved his hair again because it was growing out
As soon as they arrived, each one was already lit up, and of course Robert asked someone to come over to clean it up and check that everything was the same. Linna, on the other hand, was simply loving it. The house was absolutely beautiful. It was shaped like a triangle, very airy and comfortable. The way the leaves beat on the windows was totally satisfying, and especially the sound. It certainly was his dream place, it seemed as unreal as those videos of small towns in the European countryside that everyone wants to visit.There was a staircase leading to the entrance of the house where there were also some chairs and a double swing, the downstairs had only the living room and the kitchen, the furniture was woody and old, there were plants inside the house too. The stairs were on the far left, and upstairs there were only two bedrooms, one with a bathroom and a double bed, and the other with three single beds. But of course there was also a mess room full of mattresses, which made h
The day dawned late. The sun illuminated the entire room and fortunately did not manage to be strong enough to disturb the sleep of either of them. Linna opened her eyes, blinking several times in succession and getting used to that natural light being so strong for someone who had just woken up. She felt a weight on her waist, moved her body lightly, smelled a masculine odor under her nose, and swallowed as soon as she noticed something pressed against her buttocks.Robert was still asleep, snoring so low it didn't even sound like snoring. She pulled away, or rather, tried to. His hand pressing against her waist with possession and complaining with a growl, Robert moved closer, cutting off any space between their bodies. She scratched her eyes sighing heelily as he was already awake however building up the courage to get up and go to the bathroom.- Robert, would you mind stepping back for a moment? - In fact it was bothering him, maybe that wasn't exactly the word, but it was quite
After lunch was over, Robert washed the dishes while Linna helped him dry and put away the dishes. It was almost three o'clock in the afternoon when they put on their hiking clothes, Linna had not brought any boots for this occasion, in fact he forgot to tell her that they would be hiking to the creek near the cabin. And of course he gave her his spare boots and laughed as soon as he saw her in those huge shoes. At least they weren't so heavy.- You look funny in them. - Laughing, she looked at her own feet walking back and forth in the middle of the living room.- At least they're light. Come on, and stop laughing at me! - she babbled. Robert decided that they would take only a backpack, with a thick sheet for the floor and some food and drinks, and of course some extra clothes. It was minus seven degrees outside and still the snow was not falling, the mist made it clear how cold it was. Robert let her go first, Linna closed her eyes feeling how cold it was and rubbed her hands cover
- What do you say we take a trip this weekend Matt?Robert went to pick up his son from school after feeling guilty for not getting up early enough to take him. Matt was happy that his father had gone and recognized that he was also doing his best to do what his mother was doing on such short notice.- Where to? - Going to places away from home encouraged the pre-teen, fortunately. It was hard to get used to a routine without his mother around.- I thought we might go to Orlando, have you been to Disney?Robert didn't have any trips planned, but he knew that he needed to cool off and his son needed that too. When he thought of a trip to take with Matthew the first place that came to mind was Disney, because it was a totally childish place he wanted to make sure that both of them didn't stop to think about it that way.- Really Dad? I've never been there, Mom always said she would save up money for us to go, but we always ended up taking other trips. She seemed to want to go there more
Three days had passed since his burial, Robert remained lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling of his room. Absolutely nothing was funny. He hadn't slept for a day since he had seen her in that coffin. He had been through grief before, but this was much stronger than himself. The love he felt for her was not able to show even half as much as the illness took her away.At the funeral Robert sat beside her, in the white plastic chair that was not at all comfortable, every second from seven in the morning until three in the afternoon he stayed there. Without eating, without drinking. He stroked her loose curls down the side of her face, would it be too much to say that she looked beautiful? He loved her natural shape, no make-up, pink lips and messy hair. This is how she looked. Linna didn't have pale skin, her melanin glowed. Her outfit had been a flowered dress, she liked joy, she never had this kind of conversation with Robert but he felt she deserved the best. So she asked to be dr
- The methodology we use is the fastest, which has a four-day deadline. - he agreed, he was not interested in what it was but how long it would take. - The cross math is basically when we put together her serum samples with her cells, which would serve as a kind of simulation, what would occur in an organ transplant. If Linna has in her blood composition the antibodies against HLA antigens from the donor's cell membranes, she can almost totally reject the organ received through transplantation, which in this case would be hers. Already in this case, the compatibility test is considered positive, and the transplant is contraindicated. The crossmatch test can use only total lymphocytes, without separation of subtypes, and is called an Initial crossmatch test. So basically people who have the same blood type, for example, are not indicated to do it, because it would certainly snow the organ.- That's fine. - She understood almost nothing of what was said by the short, thin nurse. - In fo
- What are the chances that you are a match? Of any of them being a match? I don't have any hope left. - Robert looked at her like a newborn baby that needed a lot of care. That was how he saw her at that moment. If he could take her into a glass bubble and keep her there until she recovered, he would do it. It would protect her from the world, from everything. Including his own body.- Baby, it's going to be all right! - He knew that this was his last hope. The compatibility test. If they all came back negative there was really nothing to be done, and Linna would just be waiting for the time to go out of their lives. Because she was weak, mellow, pale. When you meet someone radiant and see them like this your will is to give all your strength to that person.- Will you lie here with me? - she asked brazenly.- No. You're in pain and you can't move, not even think. If you want I can lower the arm of the bed and you can lie on my chest. - She rolled her eyes and agreed, in fact she at
Linna opened her eyes slowly, blinking countless times in a second feeling a huge pain in her back. Until her eyes got used to the dim lighting of the place and she could finally see everything around her, including the doctor who was waiting for her to wake up, slouched over the arm of the hospital bed. Her mouth was extremely dry, which made her cough before she could say anything.- My back... - Her voice was very low and hoarse, she tried to move, but Talia denied it with her head, touching her arm lightly. - They hurt a lot.- Don't move. - The doctor came a little closer.- How long have I been here? - The rain was falling hard outside, she was still unable to turn her head to look through the glass window.- Today is the fifth day. - Linna would be able to widen her eyes if her head didn't hurt so much. - You've had another alveolar hemorrhage, Linna. - she sighed. - This time much more intense. We had to put a blood bag of a few millimeters for you. Your body is being attacked
She touched her mother's face, it was impossible not to smile with all that innocence. As if it were easy.- Oh my son, I'd love to but you're a child, you can't. - Matthew hugged his mother's body, Linna hugged him back tightly, smelling the baby soap he has been using since birth because he has allergies to some kinds of soap.- Mom, I don't want to introduce you anymore. You can tell the school and then they'll write another paper! - I said, whispering in his ear, afraid that his father was going to make him go to the presentation because of his grade.- It's okay, Matt. If you don't want to, we won't force you to. - He pulled away and touched his even smaller hands. - See, your dad will call the school and explain what happened, and you'll stay here with me.- Are you sure? - Robert walked over and watched Matt's hair flip up and down like it had after the nasty thing he said. His son just nodded. - Matt, I'm sorry I talked like that, but you have to understand that sometimes it's
- I have a headache. This damn headache again! - He put his hand on his temple and snorted loudly.- Hey. It's okay, if you want you can stay home and I'll take Matt to the presentation, or I can ask my mom to take him.- No, we'll go. - Linna forced her eyes to turn to him and tried to look at him, but Robert noticed her distant eyes and held her fat face in his hands.- No. You're in no condition to go. I'm going to stay here with you and call my mother! - He said, already seeing Linna frown several times in a row, which indicated that she was going to cry very soon.- Go with Matthew, he wants his parents to watch him together at least once. - she whimpered in supplication.- I'm not leaving you alone, Linna. Don't be stubborn. What if something happens and you're here alone? That's no idea. - Matt entered the room and his smile vanished when he saw his mother with her head down and apparently sad.- Mom, is everything okay? - They both looked at him in a rush, she in particular sw
On the evening of that day Matthew had a presentation at school, a theater performance of The Wizard of Oz, where he would be the scarecrow. During the day there were preparations inside the school, he didn't even imagine that his parents were dressed as a bride and groom almost lost on a rented farm in the middle of nowhere. The two looked at each other like never before, if before their love could be exhaled, now it was able to shine like an angel. They got back to each other before nightfall, after they had played catch-up and finished with the bottle of wine.Matt was in the shower while Robert and Linna finished dinner, it wasn't even seven o'clock yet and the presentations would start at eight. There was silence, no cell phones, with a few glances exchanged in shy and sincere smiles. The cutlery banging against the plate, apart from all the cicadas, was the only noise.- How could she sleep for so long with those cicadas? - Linna cleaned her plate after the last bite, the cicada
- I love you, Robert. I've never known love before, I've had other boyfriends but they all become insignificant next to you. I've never felt anything like it. My heart is racing now, and it's racing every moment I think of you, think of being with you. - Linna took his hand and placed it on her chest, Robert felt the palpitations as if her heart were in his hands. - With you I've learned what real love is. I've accepted some things that I considered to be love and you were never even a hint of it. We started living together and even exchanging basic words I felt your concern for me, I felt that in the smallest gestures you cared and did things that showed this like leaving the coffee ready. Even if you dared to say it was for Matthew too. - She laughed weakly through her tears. - When we started to talk, to live closer to each other, I understood that there was already love there. There was already admiration, respect, regret. Repentance was crucial for both of us. We both did horribl