Chapter - 1

Chapter - 1

"I believed University would be so much better than High school and I could be independent. Believe me, it wasn't at all.

I never ran late to school, even if I did, I got punishments like helping out the teachers, standing outside the classroom, picking litter around the school building, but I never had punishment like getting detention, suspension, or kneeling in front of seniors. Actually, the punishment is supposed to be learning from our mistakes, but here they're making us suffer for breaking the rules.

In school, we had theory classes, physical education classes and my basketball practice. I never felt tired because of it. But here, we only have three hours of classes a day but I'm already feeling exhausted.

In school, I had a test per week but here, they're giving us a test almost every day and to add to that, they're giving us assignments and seminars and worksheets. Woah! I don't even remember when I last slept peacefully.

When I was in school, I'll do my assignments overnight and submit them the next day. But here, even if I started my work on the day they gave us the topics, I wasn't able to finish it on time.

In school, I'll always be in the cafeteria chewing something inside my mouth but here, I don't even have time to pay a visit to the cafeteria since I'm so occupied with the work.

I don't even know where the library was when I'm in High school, but in university, it feels like I rented that place…"

While I was complaining to Big Brother about the difference I felt in college, Mr Martinez, who was eating in front of me, interrupted by telling me, "Even though many things changed, you didn't. You still speak a lot."

I asked him back, "Why should I change? And, what's wrong with talking a lot? I talk out of my mind. I don't mumble inside my mind like others though. Even though I'm facing hard times because of my classes, I'm still feeling glad. And do you know why? Go on, ask me why?

He let out a sigh and asked, "Why?"

I raised my fork in the air and said, "Because I'm going to open a restaurant once I finish college. And, if I open the restaurant, everything will be fine. Since I'm going to be the owner of it, I can take a nap however I want. I can take leave whenever I want. I can go wherever I want. I can do anything I want to do."

Big brother asked me, "Opening a restaurant? Are you sure about that?"

"Yes! I'm so sure about that. Even the thought of it makes me feel cheerful. I just have to survive these classes for 2 more years. Afterwards, I can do whatever I want. I will be freeee…"

Big brother hit my head and said, "Aren't you free now? Are you a hostage?"

"I meant university, big brother. Once I graduate, I can be free from University life and be happy forever."

Mr Martinez asked, "Forever?"

"Yeah, forever. Do you have a problem with that, Mr Martinez?"

He shrugged his shoulders and continued to eat his food.

Big brother, "Wait, why do I feel like you're two are not on good terms? Did you two get into a fight or something?"

Mr Martinez mumbled, "Who can win against her?"

Woah! I never thought Mr Martinez could speak like that.

"What did you just say? Are you mocking me?"

Big brother, "You guys don't look like you're dating. You talk more like you two have something against each other. What happened between you two?"

"Actually, Big brother, we're not dating."

Mr Martinez corrected me, "Yet."

Big brother asked me, "What? I heard that he confessed to you. Didn't you accept him back?"

"Yeah, he did. But it didn't seem like the right time so I didn't take it. I… I wasn't ready to be in a relationship because…" I looked at Mr Martinez and talked to Big Brother, "I mean… how can I trust him after he lied to me like that? Even though he gave a big explanation for that lie, I couldn't take it. It didn't feel right for me to accept him just because he had a reason for lying."

"But you like him, right?"

"Yeah, but… I don't know how to say it. I indeed like him. He's a good person, I mean… look at him. Who couldn't like this tall, muscular money bag? There's nothing wrong with him disliking him but still… Something is lacking in being in a relationship. I don't know if it's him or me. I mean the relationship shouldn't be based on some sexual tension or the fluttering of the butterfly, right? It's more than that. I don't know how to explain it to you."

"I think you're confused about your feelings."

"Huh?"

"You sound like you like someone else."

"Huh!!! No way! I only like him!" Said while pointing to Mr Martinez and continued, "I never felt this sexual tension with any others. I'm so sure about that."

"Sexual tension?"

Mr Martinez, "Ahem! I think you two forgot that I'm still here."

Big brother asked me, "How about your college? Have you made friends yet?"

I turned to Big brother and said, "I'm sorry I couldn't answer that since I'm late for my class. I have to hurry up. I didn't finish my assignment either, so I gotta go."

"Late? But you don't have morning classes today. Who are you trying to fool?"

"When did you know my schedule? Are you spying on me again? You said you won't do it."

"I didn't Spy. I was just… knowing your whereabouts. And, it's not just you. I was looking out for everyone in this house since that kidnapping occurred. So I'm being cautious around here."

"It's fine. You don't have to be around me. I can take care of myself. And, I have morning classes today. If you're being 'cautious' around someone, do it properly."

"Why are you mad?"

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You just sounded like someone mad."

I gave a stare at him.

Big brother turned to Mr Martinez and asked him, "She's mad, right?"

He shrugged his shoulders again and proceeded with eating his food. Is that food that interesting?

I stood from the dining table and took my bag while saying, "See ya in the evening, Big brother. And, you too Mr Martinez." And headed to the car.

While I was in the car with Mateo who was driving in front of me, I thought about the kidnapping incident and it made me remember some memories from the past.

When Mr Martinez came to Harry's house to explain his reason for lying to me, I thought he was going to confess to me along with it but he didn't. He did confess but he didn't confess that he loves me. Instead he said that he wanted to keep me beside him. Am I an object to be cherished? I wonder how he is looking at me? A human with flesh and bones or just an object?

When I heard that he got kidnapped, I got worried. I felt alive only after seeing him in front of me. That's when I came to know that this person… I can't lose this person again in my life. Losing once, the person I loved all my life was enough for me. And I'm not ready to lose another person that I like most. Do I love him? If you asked me if I like him? Yes! I like him a lot! But I don't know if it's love or not. After losing a person that I loved in my entire life, I don't know if I am ready to love another person so I asked for some time to think about it.

Since then, He didn't take me out, he didn't talk properly with me. I thought he'd changed when he confessed his feelings but he's being a stub like before. It feels like we're in level one again.

Mom, why is it too hard to like a person? After losing you, I feel like I don't have anyone for me.

Big brother turned out to be my guardian after my mom passed away. Even in that, I doubt that he is the one who stepped up to be my guardian or Mr Martinez asked him to do that.

Even though Big brother is being nice to me, he's still a secretary to Mr Martinez so he does things only if Mr Martinez allows him to, which makes me feel sometimes that he's only an employee who takes care of others.

I smiled to myself and thought, 'I said I'm the one who speaks out of the heart, but look at me, it seems like I'm the one who's mumbling in the mind.'

"Isabella, we've reached the place," Mateo informed me after arriving at the university.

"Oh, thank you, Mateo."

I took my bag and got out of the car.

The only thing I changed in that house was making others close to me, to the point where each other called me by my name.

While I was walking to the main building, Someone covered my eyes with their hands.

"Tracy, I know it's you. Take your hands off, your fingernails are poking my nostrils."

She took her hands off and asked, "I wonder how you find it every time. Do you peek in between my fingers?"

"Duh! You were standing behind me and not in front of me."

"Then how did you find me? Do I smell?" She sniffed her shirt neckband.

I let out a chuckle and said, "Yeah. A lot." And closed my nose to tease her.

Suddenly, she pinched my ears saying, "What did you just say? I smell? Smell like what? Come on, let it out."

"Ack! Ack! I'm older than you!! Stop pinching my ears. It hurts!"

She let go of my ear and said, "But you're shorter than me which automatically makes you a little sister." And made fun of my height.

Jose appeared out of nowhere and smooched on her cheeks and asked her, "How was your morning, sweetheart?"

"Mmm, it was nice," she answered, smiling at him.

I asked, "Hey Jose, am I invisible to you?"

He patted my head and said, "Since you're short, I didn't notice you." And he made fun of me.

Tracy laughed at Jose's words and said, "I have to go see the professor today about a maths test I had with someone."

He just nodded his head like it was something he knew perfectly well.

I let out a sigh and said, "Move over Romeo and Juliet. I have an assignment to write."

I felt an arm slung around my waist and Jose's head on top of mine while saying, "Aww, come on babydoll, don't be that way with me," Jose whined. He continued, "Don't worry, Bella. Let's find a guy for you too. Then, you won't feel left out. But until then, hang in there."

I snapped his hand, "F*ck you!"

When I first joined this college, I wasn't able to be friends with others since I was a year older than everyone else which made me feel awkward talking to someone. But these two, Jose and Tracy became friends with me just by sharing their food in the cafeteria accidentally.

Jose Wilson is an active, brilliant, determined guy and affectionate person towards his loved one, Tracy. Jose and I are the same age. Nineteen.

Tracy Moore, eighteen years old friendly, smart, reliable girl and affectionate person to her loved one, Jose.

After I came to know that they were a couple from high school, I realised how it will feel to be friends with a couple. Because every time the three of us hang out together, I always feel like I'm the third wheel. I know I'm a third wheel so I try to avoid them but they didn't let me. Instead, they took me everywhere they went. Movies, malls, gaming centres, fun centres, almost every place they go.

Even though I'm so fed up with those two, it kinda felt cute seeing them being lovey-dovey which made me start to like them. Whenever I see them being affectionate towards each other, it reminds me of Yoshirin and Micchi, known for being such an affectionate couple starring in a Japanese tv drama named crayon Shin Chan.

Jose asked me, "Why are you smiling at yourself? Did you finish your assignment?"

"Ah! Don't remind me about the assignment yet. Let's deal with that after we get to class. Can I have my peaceful walk now?"

He laughed and ruffled up her hair saying, "Did you even start working on it?"

"Stop doing that. Did you know how hard it is for me to set this up? And, I didn't get my proper resources yet for the assignment so It's too hard to write one on my own. What about you? I bet you've finished it already. Are you going to submit it today?"

"You have to be more cautious while Mr Davis gives out the resources. If you did that, you could have finished your assignment by now."

"Argh! Jose, can you please stop talking like I'm all smarty. Hear me out, I'm not smart like you. And, I need time to act upon things that I'm working on so I need more time than you guys."

Tracy said, "Count me in, I'm a lazy person too."

I said, "Lazy but smart. Even when you start writing now, you will finish your assignment before Mr Davis arrives at the class."

Jose hugged Tracy and said, "Yeah, my girl is smart and cute."

"Guys! I'm heading to the class first."

Jose held my hand while hugging Tracy while saying, "Wait, why are you in a hurry? Let's go together."

I pulled my hand saying, "Don't hold my hand, everyone talking about our three people relationship. If they saw us being like this, they would think we're a threesome."

Jose teased, "I don't mind it though. What about you, Tracy?"

Tracy gave a punch on his stomach and said, "Do I mind?"

She took his hands off her shoulder and held my hand saying, "Bella, this guy here gone nuts. What about this? Let's be a couple."

Jose gave a surprising look and said, "No, don't swing that way, Tracy. Come to me, sweetheart."

He held her hands and tried pulling her towards him while Tracy was holding my hand and saying, "No! I want Bella. You're an idiot."

I was standing laughing at them being silly and funny.

He let go of her hands and walked to me and held my other hand saying, "I'll take Bella then."

"Huh?"

They both pulled me towards each other calling out my name while we were going to the class.

When we got to the class, I saw a group of students had gathered around the front table, talking excitedly among themselves. It wasn’t until we stepped inside that I realised what was going on. The whole room was filled with people standing and sitting all around in the middle row, their eyes were glued to the blackboard.

When I tiptoed to see what they were looking at, someone had written on the blackboard that 'today is the last day for submission'. What!? I think I don't have any other choice then.

I pulled both of my hands from Jose and Tracy while saying, "I got an assignment to write. Don't break my hands." And walked to my seat, and as I sat down, all eyes fell on me. It was silent for a moment until it slowly turned into whispers. I didn’t bother looking around to see who it was coming from since I got an assignment to finish.

Jose and Tracy sat on either side of me and shared stares at each other.

Tracy, "Bella, ask him if he's free this evening?"

I asked her, "Aren't you mad at him?"

Jose poked my shoulder and whispered, "Say that I'm free this evening."

Tracy, "Ask him whether he can take me to the theatre?"

Jose, "Tell her that I can take her but ask her what movie she prefers to go to."

When I looked at Tracy, she whispered into my ears, "Tell him that I want to see some romance movie. Ask him is it okay with him?"

When I looked at Jose, he whispered, "Tell her I'm fine with the genre. And ask her…"

I screamed out, "Hoiiiiiiiiiii!!!" Which made everyone look at us.

I apologised to them and turned to Jose and Tracy and said, "You two. Please spare my ears, I couldn't concentrate on writing my assignment…"

"What is going on here? Who screamed in the class? Don't you know how to behave in the class?"

I heard Mr Davis' voice.