Expectation

SELIN

"Oh my goodness!" I mumbled while I held tightly to my tummy.

I am in my four weeks pregnant and every morning the scene in this house was like this, running inside the toilet and puking even though nothing comes out. It was tiring but somehow, I am more excited to see this little peanut soon.

This was taking my energy the whole time in the morning, but I have to get back myself because Demir might be awake from now.

Shit!

Cursing internally while staring at the mirror. My stomach was like a roller coaster and I could not understand why I am being like this.

I'm here in the kitchen, and I am trying to make breakfast for Demir because it's Sunday, and it was supposed to be our day to be together and visit the doctor later at lunch.

After preparing the meal for us, I couldn't take away my smile at the presentation on the table. Well, I miss doing this, especially on Sundays wherein many guests were there at the restaurant and spending time with their families. But, since I married Demir and being pregnant, it was hard for me to continue my job, which was being a chef.

"Perfect," I whispered and caressed my belly as the food looked enticing.

Oh, cravings! I have to watch my weight every time that I will eat these kind of food. As everyone knows, I have a plump type of body and having this made me more insecure about those women in magazines and his business partners.

Washing my face is a must, because Demir hated it whenever I smell like a kitchen or a strip of bacon. So, I must be extra careful with my hygiene as well. He didn't want any dirt in the house and everything that surrounds him.

"Good morning, Demir." a smile appeared on my face and I could even hear my heart thumping like a drum.

He didn't respond and just went straight to the table. I know he wasn't in a good mood since last night. I think it's about work-related stuff. I don't know about it; he was so drunk and couldn't walk. 

He sighed deeply seeing my arms full of bruises. I sparingly smiled at him and didn't mind about it besides it has no pain at all.

"I've prepared all your favorites. Dig in," I smiled at him and slowly walked through the living room.

"Here let me help you with this." 

Demir tapped away my hands as I was just trying to help him with the table napkin to put on his lap.

"Stop, Selin. I can handle it myself." then he lightly shook his head.

I have never eaten with him ever since we got together in his penthouse. The reason was it's part of the contract. I was here in the living room to clean up all the mess that he did last night. Demir didn't want his penthouse to be dirty, and that's what he always told me.

Every single corner must have been clean.

"Ouch" I mumbled as the glass pinned my ring finger. Letting out a heavy sigh after I realized what happened last night, and it was like a nightmare that I didn't want to remember at all.

Before I could reach the broom, I heard the crash of plates in the dining are. My heart thumped loudly as I knew what had happened, but I was still hoping that it was not like that.

"Please not again."

"Selin!"

I held my chest when I heard his loud voice cursing my name, but my blood ran cold as I stood in front of him and met his eyes that were frozen as ice.

"What's this?!" he pointed to the food in front of him.

"Do you think I can eat this food with an insect on it?!" he yelled and stood fast in front of me.

"Serving food is the only thing you need to do and yet you're sloppy. I couldn't believe that you are a chef."

One insult look before he went in front o me. Then, he grabbed my wrist and forced me to lean over just to see the bread with a small insect on it. I don't know what to say, so when he turned to me and saw his eyes bulging in rage and, in a swift, his hand landed on my cheeks and made me fall to the ground.

"Demir,"

I whispered and crouching at the edge of the dining area. Tears are now running through my cheeks as I felt the pain. This wasn't him, and Demir was completely opposite before. I still believed that he would come back again.

I sniffed and continued, "I- I'm sorry, Demir. I didn't know that it was spoiled already. The lights were off and..."

He cut me off and threw me the bread, "If you think you can poison me with that rotten bread, well, you're wrong!"

His eyes were full of anger and his fist almost hit me, so I crouched to protect myself from his violence. My face turned sour as he pulled my hair to face him and said, "You remember this Selin, no matter what you do, it will never change the fact that I married you just for that bastard in your belly."

An emphatic tone of his voice echoed through my ears and the numbness ran all over my body after hearing those words. I could accept all his sharp words on me but not to my child; our child.

He just flipped the table and all the dishes went all over the floor. I silently sob as he was going out of this penthouse and, just like the other days, Demir treated me like a rug. I don't understand why he was so mad at me. We were in a relationship for almost a year and I guess I have known him from that but after he found out this baby in my belly, my father talked to him and he asked me to marry him in a civil wedding. Fast forward after the wedding, he suddenly changed into someone that I do not know.

A monster that came out from nowhere. Hunger for its’ prey. Skin of a lamb that has a lion underneath.

I am frightened for myself as well as my baby.

Will he ever realized the fact that this was his child?

or

He’ll just beat me to death.