[THIS PLACE IS NOT MY HOME!]The rosy sun spread its wings that stretched far in the sky, allowing its beams stealthily fall onto the boy’s figure but unfortunately his skin remained cold and pale. “My…my heart aches so much…why? I thought…I won over it!” Travis silently said to himself while his heart violently hit against the unsteady walls of his chest. His eyes glistened with tears, but never did they make an escape for it, not that they promised they wouldn’t. His eyes lazily fell onto David’s figure and watched him as he spoke; surprisingly, he could not understand the words flowing out of his lips. He frowned and did not realize that his lips and the back of his throat were dry. “Travis, are you okay?” In a whisper, David called out to him, but Travis’s ears were concentrated on only one sound, and that was his unruly heart that was hissing loudly in the depths of his ears. Every inch of his body was shivering like a signal flame held up high. His forehead frowned deeply as b
{WARNING! HOMOPHOB*C SLURS AND CHILD ABUSE WHICH I DON’T CONDONE & SUPPORT. DEAR READER, PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION.} “”There was nothing but the poisonous, belittling waves of silence butchering through his heart _ feeding on it as if it were a delicacy. He wanted to take a step back, he wanted to run away, he wished for the ground to open up so he could bury himself and never come out but…that was not possible, and he knew it very well. He closed his eyes and begged his ears to pretend like they did not hear the words that were now stuck in his brain. DANGEROUS — The words were so dangerous that they made his heart feel like retiring this instant. Every letter was stuck at the base of his ears. He remembered the sharp sound that came with every word and the murderous melody that flew out of her lips as she expressed every letter as if her life depended on it. “Same-sex, don’t even think about it. He knows I am against it!” The phrase made a mischievous jump in the back of his hea
[IT’S NOT OVER, I WILL FIGHT BUT WILL YOU GIVE ME A CHANCE?”]“I will say it…!” Travis whispered while he closed his eyes, smiling dreamily as he leaned his head back on the wall. He breathed smoothly — not rushing himself as if this was the last time he’d breathe. His slim fingers intertwined with each other, hiding all the sweat that had been preventing him from touching anything. There, he sat on the bench and waited for David who had asked him to wait outside, because he wanted to speak with his mother. “I will say it!” Travis said once again, this time opening his eyes. He exhaled and slouched as he buried his head in his thoughts — not very negative. “I know that it is David that I love, and I will tell him!” The boy silently giggled. The door to Mrs Chwe’s ward opened, disclosing David who slowly walked out, his lips trying so hard to curl into a smile. “You, okay?” Travis asked as soon as he rose to his feet and with a nod, David replied. There was a wave of silence that li
[CHAINS AROUND MY NECK; DELIVER ME FROM HELL]The wind firmly cried as David stood there, his eyes filled with burning fear while he stared at the gigantic house that was covered by pulsating, crimson-red lights — each blinking as if warning him to go back where he came from and if he were to enter, he’d not come out alive. “RUN!” A sonorous voice in the chambers of his head whispered but he could not move an inch of his body. He stood still as he continuously exhaled deeply. His hands were shuddering deep in his pockets — he was now counting past 51. “RUN!” The same voice advised but once again, David dared not to move — he felt his hands heavy and could not lift any of them. He did want to turn around and leave, and never come back but the longer he looked at the lights blinking in his direction, the sweeter the spell became as it travelled through his head and to the back of his skull. He could take a step back and walk away but he knew the consequences that would come with tha
A clap of thunder rumbled immediately when his now veiny eyes collided with those harvested by treachery — poison and cold darkness. David felt his chest tightening and he could not breathe. The papers in his hands trembled, some falling on the floor with a silenced, pitiful whine. “This…!” “Your new job!”Mr M intruded on David who could not release words from his quivering, dry mouth. The man’s voice rumbled throughout the dining room, making David’s muscles tighten with fear — afraid to even land his eyes on the one speaking. “New job? W-what…why are Travis’s…pictures…?”David calculated and investigated quietly, his trembling voice dropping into a whisper. He was paralyzed to the spot and could not move his body — he felt cold air bite into his chest, making it hard for him to breathe. His tear-filled eyes darted around, landing on anything possible — from his shaking hands to Mr Sok whose face showed no emotions. Confused, David felt his world start to shake — he felt like he
[ A PAST AND IMAGES ENGRAVED IN MY HEART; NEVER WILL THEY LEAVE!]DAVID CHWE’S POV: I REMEMBER….“There we go! It started again! The fucken unruly thing!” A dry hiss made a rough escape through my shrivelled lips that I had been trying so hard to keep wet with my tongue until I had no patience anymore. My eyes hastily flew up at the vivid blue sky that was covered by clouds that I instantly caught retiring into an intimate dance with the gentle breeze. I released an oppressed sigh quickly when I felt the sun lay its warm kisses on my red skin. “Another torture,” I whispered to myself, my forehead frowning deeper than it already had. During that moment, I had averted my gaze from the sky to two girls that I shamelessly witnessed as they were burying their heads into an idle talk. Something bothered me or rather, influenced a feeling of envy within me. I know many boys would have widened their eyes with admiration at the sight of the girls, but instead, my eyes widened with envy as I
DAVID CHWE’S POV CONTINUED…[ I REMEMBER…ALL OF IT!] WARNING: AGE GAP! “Are you willing to do anything, boy?” An unfamiliar deep, slightly husky voice investigated. I vigorously nodded, breathing heavily as I stared at the green eyes that were shamelessly following every movement I made. I stood in the same spot and listened to footsteps walk out of the dark towards me. My hands were shaking but I did not intend to run away because I needed a job. I helplessly narrowed my eyes to catch a glimpse of the owner of the voice that made my heart tighten with fear. A step and another, I saw a tall, pale-skinned man in a very black suit looking down at me. His eyes were mysteriously gleaming with glee as they hovered over my trembling, slim figure.I unconsciously took a careful step back, my eyes still glued onto his, as if under a spell. The unknown man scowled at me with amusement and for some reason, I felt like he was looking directly into my soul — I felt all my secrets, fears, and
–“Falling deep into blue…! I wish I did not, but I ended up doing it. It is painful and it hurts so much.” A boy who whispered through his clenched teeth lay on a king-sized bed whose sheets were wrinkled. The beams of the rising sun floated into the huge room through the naked window and landed kisses on his pale, nude body. His eyelids trembled when he felt every warm touch from the sun. A smile faintly spread across his dry, chapped lips immediately when his eyes slowly opened and collided with a white, vaulted ceiling. He bit his lip and closed his eyes again. “How many times have I been looking at you? It is still the same and I hate it. Maybe he should change the design…!” David breathed instantly after clearing his throat and never dared himself to move his body, not even an inch. “Maybe we should do it somewhere else. In another room so that I don’t always look at the ceiling. I had to look at it all night.” The boy added with a loud, rough sigh, ignoring the sun’s beams th
The air became cold. Eyes bulged with unspoken fear as they mysteriously glided over the figure of Jiyeon. The girl had tilted her head to her right, her eyes slyly following every jumpy movement that her mother made. Her smile widened just when she noticed confusion covering the red, wet face of her mother. “You bastard! How could you do that to your own mother!?” Mrs Choi hissed through her trembling lips that were now dry as a hard bone. Her mouth felt like a desert, parched and craving moisture as words played hide and seek in the back of her throat. Beads of sweat lined up across her forehead as her breath became shallow. “Oh dear, I am my mother’s daughter. One bastard gave birth to another bastard.” Jiyeon released an annoyed sigh and chuckled when she caught her mother’s lips trembling. “Did you know, father always thought that I looked nothing like him. He made sure to remind me every time we went on an ice cream date, when I was only five. It became a song and you said
JIYEON CHOI“Are you sure you want to go?” Mrs Park investigated shortly after placing her hand on Jiyeon’s trembling hands. “You don’t have to, I will ask a person to get them for you. Don’t force it!” The old lady assured the girl whose eyes were tightly shut; feeling ashamed to let Mrs Park see her weakness. Jiyeon bit her lower lip and silently counted to three before she could open her eyes. “It is okay. I want to go…and get them myself.” Squeezing Mrs Park’s hand with her free, uninjured hand, Jiyeon whispered soon after taking a deep breath. Mrs Park stared at the girl for a while and never said a word. She nodded at her driver and the engine of the car they were in growled as it began moving. The car roared out of the Park mansion to a destination where Mrs Park was not so sure they should go to. Jiyeon quietly watched the tall, luxurious buildings pass as the car drove by. Her heart was jingling in the embrace of her ribs, as an unidentified number of emotions collided i
Night descended like a velvet cloak, softly enveloping the world in an inky blackness that seemed to have a texture all its own. The stars twinkled like diamonds scattered across the fabric of the sky, their gentle sparkle casting an ethereal glow over the landscape.The moon, a silver crescent, hung low on the horizon, casting long, sinuous shadows that stretched and twisted like living things. “Thank you.” David who had just come out of the taxi, said as he bowed and watched the taxi drive off. An oppressed sigh found its way out of his lips as he stood in the same spot for a while. His mind was set alight by a fountain of thoughts that made it hard for him to breathe or concentrate on anything else. “A sin? How is it a sin? And why would you find the pleasure in continuing this sin?” Travis’s words rang in the back of his head, poisoning his heart into a temporary melancholy. “Find the pleasure in continuing this sin? What does he mean? He doesn’t view this as a sin. He does n
“Come out, I am outside.” David whispered over the phone, making Travis’s heart jump, this time with fear. He flinched from the bed and rushed towards his window where he began searching for David. “Where are you? I can’t see you.” Hardly holding his breath, Travis whispered, standing on the balcony, intensely searching for his boyfriend. It was as if he had lost his mind. Travis did not notice the tall walls that prevented him from seeing the world outside the huge gates. “Fuck…!” He said silently to himself when it had finally dawned on him that he had to sneak out of the house and meet his boyfriend. His blood was running warm as his heart uncontrollably jingled in the chamber of his chest. The longing to see David had become an all-consuming force, a restless hunger that gnawed at his very soul. As he stood there, his fingers instinctively curled around the curtain, his nails digging deep into the fabric like talons grasping for an anchor.His breathing grew ragged, a slow, to
——The golden rays of the rising sun slowly floated into the room and landed on Travis’s face whose sleep was quickly chased away. With a frown across his forehead, Travis unhurriedly opened his eyes and let out a groan. He got up and stood straight on the bed before reaching for his phone. “Nine? I’m late for breakfast!” Travis growled as he sprinted to the bathroom. He quickly washed his face, brushed his teeth, and raced downstairs when he was done. He found his grandmother and cousin, Arthur, already seated for breakfast. Jiyeon was absent from the table, something Travis quickly understood. “Sorry…for being late.” He apologised as he sat down on his chair. His grandmother only nodded, while Arthur smiled. “How did you sleep?” Arthur investigated and smiled widely as he sipped his apple juice. “Well, I…slept like a baby,” Travis replied shortly after clearing his throat. He instantly began to recall last night — his hand’s job and then a conversation with Jiyeon. His heart slo
——Lips painted by a red gloss carefully pressed against each other immediately after withdrawing from the white cup. “How are you feeling now, dear?” Mrs Park investigated shortly after placing the empty cup on the table. Her eyes gently fell on Jiyeon who had been nervously staring at the plaster cast around her arm. She bit her lower lip and nodded, “I am…fine.” Jiyeon replied in a voice that had dropped to a whisper. She slowly raised her head and turned her eyes to her left, where Travis was sitting. The boy had been quiet as he asked himself questions as to how Jiyeon got the big bruise on her face. The bruise decorated itself across the left side of Jiyeon’s face like a big wing of a butterfly. Travis wanted to let his eyes linger on Jiyeon’s face, but he couldn’t, he averted his eyes away from her face to his grandmother who seemed to have a lot to say. “It is late, you guys go to sleep, and we will have a talk tomorrow.” Mrs Park suggested instantly after getting up. The t
Silence — it was absolutely hushed. The wind released a soft cry that left a hole of embarrassment in the two boys' hearts. Their eyes nervously darted from one place to the other. Travis shifted from foot to foot, wearing a glowing, sparkling smile that magnificently decorated his face. David silently fought with his heart, urging to gain control over it, but he continued to fail over and over again. No words could describe the amount of jingling in the depths of Travis’s heart as he was fishing for words to spew, but none came forth. “One, two, three...” He counted as he tried to wipe his smile, but he had no control over it. His eyes gently landed on David’s pale face for a brief while and then they quickly flew away from his face to the dusty nightstand. “S-so…how are —!?” “I need to use the bathroom,” David whispered with a hiss when Travis was speaking. The boy quietly nodded and carefully watched David as he hurried into his bathroom. “Calm down, breathe!” Immediately after
•••The rays of the rising sun flooded into the space, gently landing on the black island table that separated the two individuals — one wearing a smirk that was carefully spreading across his face and the other with eyes that were dilated with shock. It was very quiet — so hushed, making it easy for Sean to hear how loud and demanding David’s heart was throbbing. “Remember it, David. Remember well how you tightly clenched the sheets, endlessly moaning my name. I did not force you; you were the one who jumped on me even when I was asking you to stop. You were not drunk; we both know that.” Sean murmured, leaning forward and allowing the sunbeams to expose his green gleaming eyes. The man ensured that his gaze strictly fell on David’s face, studying its movements and the change of colour — from pale to red. David closed his eyes and gritted his teeth so hard that an unbearable pain kept his gums hostage for a short period. He did not want to react to Sean’s words, but his body diso
–“Falling deep into blue…! I wish I did not, but I ended up doing it. It is painful and it hurts so much.” A boy who whispered through his clenched teeth lay on a king-sized bed whose sheets were wrinkled. The beams of the rising sun floated into the huge room through the naked window and landed kisses on his pale, nude body. His eyelids trembled when he felt every warm touch from the sun. A smile faintly spread across his dry, chapped lips immediately when his eyes slowly opened and collided with a white, vaulted ceiling. He bit his lip and closed his eyes again. “How many times have I been looking at you? It is still the same and I hate it. Maybe he should change the design…!” David breathed instantly after clearing his throat and never dared himself to move his body, not even an inch. “Maybe we should do it somewhere else. In another room so that I don’t always look at the ceiling. I had to look at it all night.” The boy added with a loud, rough sigh, ignoring the sun’s beams th