MEMORIES: BITTER AND SWEET!
"Only six years…that's what we agreed on! Six years! Or were they too much for you to handle?" A husky, booming voice that, belonging to Travis reverberated across the spacious room with a query that sent chills to paste themselves onto the figure of a man who was standing five minutes away from him.
"You failed to keep your promise…!" Travis blurted with a voice that was cracking up with emotions. He aired the words with great difficulty whilst his dewy eyes carefully watched the face of the man in front of him harden with coldness.
"What did I do to receive this kind of treatment from you? Does it not matter how long I waited?" Travis questioned in a brittle voice as soon as he took timid steps towards the man's direction— a man who did not dare to soften his face, rather he put on a face that lacked emotions and warmness.
Slowly but surely, the man turned his features, together with his figure away from the saddened Travis that was already weeping.
"I'm sorry, but…you are late! It could have been earlier!" In a quiet, innocent voice, the man suddenly spoke. A tear that Travis did not see, rushed down his chubby, blooming cheek and without saying more, he stormed out of the room— leaving behind Travis whose lips were parted with flabbergast.
Travis who was left alone immediately collapsed on the floor with a mind that was deeply reconnecting with poisonous thoughts— thoughts that brought back all the memories. Be it, good ones and depressing ones.
•••
[Seven Years Ago]
—16 June 2016—
A family of large, hideously ill-omened clouds were rapidly rendezvousing and floating in the tar-coloured sky of Tokyo. A clap of thunder roared as soon as a flash of light discharged itself between the gloomy clouds.
"Smells like rain!" Travis murmured scarcely when thunder rumbled once again with renewed vigor— to his cousin, Arthur over a video call.
"Oh well…It's—"
"Wait a minute…I'll be back!" Travis interrupted Arthur whilst he jumped out of bed to shuffle towards the slightly opened sash window as soon as he heard a car screech. Peeking through the transparent turquoise curtain, he sighted a car screech to a halt, thirty seconds away from a trail of cream-white coloured stairs that led into the huge mansion.
His eyes widened with depressed darkness and fright shortly after pasting themselves on the gigantic figure of his father, Mr Fujiriki, throwing himself out of a black SUV. Slowly, Travis's eyes fell into a void of Mr Fujiriki's enraged eyes, encouraging his heart to sink with aghast into the rooms of his throat.
Travis always knew the meaning of that distorted face his father made. He knew the answer to why his father's eyes were red with rage— he knew it all and he was aware that he was in trouble.
"Travis? Travis? Can you hear me?" A breaking voice of Arthur asked over the phone. It did no matter how long Travis had shifted from the screen, Arthur was already growing worried. He waited for two minutes and when he did not get a reply he disconnected.
"I hope it won't hurt!" Travis whispered with a trail of tears escaping from his eyes. The air around him became heavier and heavier for him to inhale an instant he saw his father rush into the house. Mr Fujiriki's hands were harshly clasping a pink file as his calm eyes albeit filled with indignation narrowed at Travis as if warning him.
There was visible threat in his tottering steps as he disappeared in the mansion. Travis stood still next to the window and allowed the lightning to illuminate aghast that was covering his face.
"More name-calling! More stab wounds in my heart! What does today bring me?" Silently, Travis cried as he tightly closed his eyes.
"Where the hell is he!?"
Mr Fujiriki's voice was heard calling out from the living room. His deep, sonorous voice threw a query that everyone [maids] had to give an answer to or else, hell will break loose. The two huge brown doors opened with a loud clang enabling the waves of a life-threatening tone to echo across the big, sumptuous house.
Startled, all the five maids scurried away to the living room to find their master cheesing off as he aggravatedly crumpled a document that had tiny writings in black and red ink.
"TRAVIS!"
Mr Fujiriki growled, pacing angrily near the start of the staircase, leading to Travis's room. The jacket he had worn was unceremoniously thrown on the floor as audible swears swam out of his lips.
His voice was incredibly loud— it was so thunderous that none of the people present in the living room made sense of the words he was huffing.
"Need I have to repeat myself to you?" Mr Fujiriki questioned as soon as a 1,85m tall, slim-figured boy showed up— slowly flying downstairs. His teary-filled and terrified eyes which were hidden by his black, long fringes, locked themselves on the white-tilled floor.
"So…sorry, father!" In a quiet, wobbly voice, Travis muttered an apology. His slim, veiny fingers were nervously fiddling with the sleeves of his white-striped, black polo shirt. "It won't happen…again!" Travis continued to express.
His eyes instantly squeezed themselves shut a second his father's huge hands tightened onto his collar, forcing him to look into his bloodshot, dark eyes.
"I should have killed…I should've allowed you to be born!" His father spat the words that swiftly created a hole into Travis's heart— they pierced through his throbbing organ like a merciless dagger meant to end his life in an instant.
"Wha…!"
Raising his dewy eyes at his father, Travis whispered, his forehead frowning with confusion.
Without warning, Mr Fujiriki's rough palm landed on Travis's right cheek, giving him an open-handed blow that coerced his head to turn. Just as he was adjusting to the pain, another blow landed on his left cheek— encouraging him to lose balance and fall on all fours.
His vision went vivid and blurry. The maids instantly looked down when their young master fell— no one dared to talk.
"Mitsumi! What are you doing!?"
A squat woman in her late middle age [49 of age], stormed inside the house with two men with the size of a goliath behind her. Her chestnut eyes dilated in horror at the sight of seeing her grandson hustled on the floor.
"TRAVIS!"
She called out to Travis who was shaking his head as he hoped to get his best vision back. His nose was bleeding out a stream of crimson blood like a stuck pig. He was now shuddering like a signal flame held high. The maids were too afraid to rush to him, he was in a daze and the voices of those who were speaking sounded like they were muffled by the air.
He gulped and drew air into his lungs abruptly when he felt his oesophagus closing in. At this point, Travis believed that he was going to die— he'd time and time again mutter inaudible words that no one heard. His vision betrayed him and went completely dark and that was all he remembered.
•••
[A Year Later]
—31 December 2017—
A year passed and no matter the approximate days and months that went by, that particular rainy day still lived in the chambers of Travis's heart like no other.
Immediately after getting better, his grandmother, Mrs Park, took him away to live with, in South Korea, Seoul— there, where he spent a full year learning Korean.
31st December; a day when Travis normally received presents and words of wisdom, was now a nightmare for him. It was his nineteenth birthday and he wished it never came; hence instead of enjoying a party his grandmother threw him, he sneaked out to a night club where he vowed to get himself drunk as a skunk.
As he was drowning his liver in the smooth, milky flavour of Makgeolli, his eyes met a familiar tiny-figured boy being roughly pulled outside by two huge men. They rushed him outside as they ensured that their huge fists cluttered the individual's face.
"Why isn't anyone doing something!?" Tavis asked himself, as he scanned the faces of people who completely ignored what was happening. He stealthily followed them and as soon as he was outside, a cold wind kissed his skin, sending shivers down his spine.
Two minutes away from where he was, in a dark lane, Travis heard a sorrowful cry that made him guess that it was the boy he saw earlier, crying. He instantly dialled 112 with a racing heart.
Sooner; the police arrived and the men immediately galloped.
"What an extraordinary meeting! Will you remember me?"
•••
Who are you? [8 January 2018]Number of days drifted off in just a blink of an eye since the terrible incident that evidently made Travis to welcome a new year with a heart that was sunk by a load of gloomy emotions. After almost two years, he found himself sitting behind a school desk, where a bunch of books were looking at him with nothing but mockery. School— according to him, it was a place that was going to make his life a living hell. He knew that it did not matter how hard he had to rough it in— eventually, he'd have to live a lie and entangle himself to the outside world— which was something he was against. He knew that he had a choice to get up and walk away but his 'cruel' heart had always reminded him, on many occasions, that he had once imprinted a promise into his grandmother's 'weak' heart— a promise he dared not to break. It was the second Monday of 2018 and the morning was not different from the other mornings. Leaning his head on the palm of his hand, Travis's e
[ Five Days After 31 December 2017] —–DAVID CHWE"Your father must have explained the consequences of repeating your silly mistakes, I reckon?" A voice that waved with clamour left a question hanging in the air, leaving echoes of peril to linger across the limo. It was dark inside— the luxurious car was bombarded by smoke from the cigar that was exhaled by an individual who sat in the darkest corner. His deep, life-threatening voice sent immediate shivers that carried electricity, throughout the system of David who flinched at the vibrations of his voice. There— David sat ten seconds away from the unknown individual, where the one bulb was illuminating fear as it caressed his veins. He was visibly shaking like a leaf, his whole body was covered in sweat. The unknown man behind the shadows made a four with his legs shortly after throwing out peals of guffaws that further influenced aghast to envelope itself on David's figure. DAVID— the only thing he'd do was to nod whenever thro
But I Saw Him!—–TRAVIS PARK"I'm…I know that it may be early, but since you asked, you failed your first mathematical test and this brings down your percentage points!" The tiny, sensitive organ began to pound strongly and steadily, against Travis's chest. Words scattered across his head, influencing a headache to take over instead. His eyes widened— he felt like everything was floating as if he were on a ship that was carried away by a strong current. Hair on every part of his body stood up, gearing up to run away, if possible. His dilated eyes with fear, mixed with confusion, only darted around from one place to another, as if searching for something. That was it. That was how he remembered yesterday when Mrs Lee broke the news to him— news that carried evilness that paralyzed his soul. Those dreadful words hid in the core of his wonderland, preventing him from entering inside. They played again in his head for the millionth time now, discouraging him from thinking of anythin
["I Am Haunted, Can Anyone Hear Me?"]"Shh! Everything is going to be fine. Just...breathe!" A shuddering Travis spoke in a quivering whisper. His dry lips were trembling as words stuffed themselves under his tongue while some scattered throughout his head. His tear-filled eyes were watching the sun through the window as it bathed the school buildings with its warmth. He silently watched a group of learners as they were leisurely walking with gleaming smiles pasted on their faces. A piece of his heart that was wildly throbbing against his chest, broke as soon as his ears caught the soft giggles exhaled by the learners. He was not aware of a waterfall of tears that was flooding the floor of his reddened cheeks. The urge to swallow a pill that he has been clasping in his shuddering hand only grew strong. "Will I ever…?" Travis spoke in a breaking murmur. He was breathing heavily with regret immediately after he had thrown the pill in his dry mouth. He closed his eyes tight and bega
"A smile so shamelessly radiant— it cages my heart with its warmth. I must be going crazy, I think!" A jubilant David shouted quietly to himself. His dark, brown eyes were shimmering with sparkles of merriment. At this point, he could not help but dwell once again, in the memory that was created yesterday— for it to be kept in the chambers of his heart. A shy yet colourful smile published itself on his scarlet, tiny, heart-shaped lips whilst he recalled a bright, enchanting twinkle in Travis's eyes that were intensely staring into his eyes. —"I…!" Travis aired while he unconsciously bit his lower lip, shortly after lowering his eyes. He closed them as he fished his head for "right" words and took a shy step towards David whose heart was vehemently beating against the wall of his chest— steadily and carefully as if afraid it'll burst. A lump rose to dance shamelessly in the core of his throat, making breathing hard for him. "I…I am sorry about…earlier! I am really…sorry!" In an a
["Mightily Broken!"] A cold night; The wind was moaning, kissing the skin of David who was plodding along a dark lane in the depths of the decay zone of the city. His boots sadly crunched on the gravel that was decorated by dead leaves that laid on the ground, only they knew for how long. His hands were carefully thrown in the rooms of his trousers pockets. Engines were heard throbbing from distances. The night sky was aglow with lucent city lights and huge families of stars that looked like a large hand that had tossed diamonds into the sky. Above David's shuddering figure was the crescent moon that shone like a silvery claw that was the only brightest light source for David. He; who was beflooded by happiness and the bitterness of guilt, loomed in the impenetrable blackness of the night with a mind inundated with poisonous thoughts that were adequately sweet to wander unto. "Someone like him…! Will I ever get him?" David asked himself in a brittle, shaking voice. The wind conti
"He should have arrived by now!" Travis said thoughtfully as he fiddled with the sleeves of his school jacket. His eyes nervously pasted themselves on the classroom door, hoping for David to walk in any time now. His heart was abnormally hammering against his chest whilst his eyes were darting from one place to another. Normally, David would be in class right now, studying Travis's face when he thought that Travis was not looking— ensuring that he caught the tiniest details on Travis's face.He would be right next to Travis reciting poems just to get Travis's attention, not just his attention, but prompt him to join as he played with English words. It was already 8:40 am and fortunately, the teachers were said to be caught up in a rendezvous. "Should I have accompanied him home…?!" Travis whispered a query under his breath. As frightening and exciting as it was, he began drumming his fingers on the table, his armpits sweating profusely due to agitation. "Damn it! I don't even have
["Tears That Flow Silently!"]"We are suddenly afraid to look at each other. Is it because of what had taken place back in the infirmary? Could it be?" Travis said silently to himself while he awkwardly opened his book and he stealthily watched David as he pretended to be writing. The air was intensely cold around them and they would engage in small talks that starved for life. "That kiss meant nothing! Was it really a kiss?" Travis thought as he pleaded in his head to make up words that he'd use to speak with David. Nothing seemed to make sense in Travis's head— as far as he knew, that was an accidental kiss and even though it was, why would David suddenly distance his words from his ears? "Not because of that! Is it? I'm not jealous, now am I? What am I thinking!?" David spoke silently with his inner self as he dwelled in his world that drove him far away from reality. He leaned his head on his cheek and without knowing it, he filled his book with Travis's name. "David?" Travi
The air became cold. Eyes bulged with unspoken fear as they mysteriously glided over the figure of Jiyeon. The girl had tilted her head to her right, her eyes slyly following every jumpy movement that her mother made. Her smile widened just when she noticed confusion covering the red, wet face of her mother. “You bastard! How could you do that to your own mother!?” Mrs Choi hissed through her trembling lips that were now dry as a hard bone. Her mouth felt like a desert, parched and craving moisture as words played hide and seek in the back of her throat. Beads of sweat lined up across her forehead as her breath became shallow. “Oh dear, I am my mother’s daughter. One bastard gave birth to another bastard.” Jiyeon released an annoyed sigh and chuckled when she caught her mother’s lips trembling. “Did you know, father always thought that I looked nothing like him. He made sure to remind me every time we went on an ice cream date, when I was only five. It became a song and you said
JIYEON CHOI“Are you sure you want to go?” Mrs Park investigated shortly after placing her hand on Jiyeon’s trembling hands. “You don’t have to, I will ask a person to get them for you. Don’t force it!” The old lady assured the girl whose eyes were tightly shut; feeling ashamed to let Mrs Park see her weakness. Jiyeon bit her lower lip and silently counted to three before she could open her eyes. “It is okay. I want to go…and get them myself.” Squeezing Mrs Park’s hand with her free, uninjured hand, Jiyeon whispered soon after taking a deep breath. Mrs Park stared at the girl for a while and never said a word. She nodded at her driver and the engine of the car they were in growled as it began moving. The car roared out of the Park mansion to a destination where Mrs Park was not so sure they should go to. Jiyeon quietly watched the tall, luxurious buildings pass as the car drove by. Her heart was jingling in the embrace of her ribs, as an unidentified number of emotions collided i
Night descended like a velvet cloak, softly enveloping the world in an inky blackness that seemed to have a texture all its own. The stars twinkled like diamonds scattered across the fabric of the sky, their gentle sparkle casting an ethereal glow over the landscape.The moon, a silver crescent, hung low on the horizon, casting long, sinuous shadows that stretched and twisted like living things. “Thank you.” David who had just come out of the taxi, said as he bowed and watched the taxi drive off. An oppressed sigh found its way out of his lips as he stood in the same spot for a while. His mind was set alight by a fountain of thoughts that made it hard for him to breathe or concentrate on anything else. “A sin? How is it a sin? And why would you find the pleasure in continuing this sin?” Travis’s words rang in the back of his head, poisoning his heart into a temporary melancholy. “Find the pleasure in continuing this sin? What does he mean? He doesn’t view this as a sin. He does n
“Come out, I am outside.” David whispered over the phone, making Travis’s heart jump, this time with fear. He flinched from the bed and rushed towards his window where he began searching for David. “Where are you? I can’t see you.” Hardly holding his breath, Travis whispered, standing on the balcony, intensely searching for his boyfriend. It was as if he had lost his mind. Travis did not notice the tall walls that prevented him from seeing the world outside the huge gates. “Fuck…!” He said silently to himself when it had finally dawned on him that he had to sneak out of the house and meet his boyfriend. His blood was running warm as his heart uncontrollably jingled in the chamber of his chest. The longing to see David had become an all-consuming force, a restless hunger that gnawed at his very soul. As he stood there, his fingers instinctively curled around the curtain, his nails digging deep into the fabric like talons grasping for an anchor.His breathing grew ragged, a slow, to
——The golden rays of the rising sun slowly floated into the room and landed on Travis’s face whose sleep was quickly chased away. With a frown across his forehead, Travis unhurriedly opened his eyes and let out a groan. He got up and stood straight on the bed before reaching for his phone. “Nine? I’m late for breakfast!” Travis growled as he sprinted to the bathroom. He quickly washed his face, brushed his teeth, and raced downstairs when he was done. He found his grandmother and cousin, Arthur, already seated for breakfast. Jiyeon was absent from the table, something Travis quickly understood. “Sorry…for being late.” He apologised as he sat down on his chair. His grandmother only nodded, while Arthur smiled. “How did you sleep?” Arthur investigated and smiled widely as he sipped his apple juice. “Well, I…slept like a baby,” Travis replied shortly after clearing his throat. He instantly began to recall last night — his hand’s job and then a conversation with Jiyeon. His heart slo
——Lips painted by a red gloss carefully pressed against each other immediately after withdrawing from the white cup. “How are you feeling now, dear?” Mrs Park investigated shortly after placing the empty cup on the table. Her eyes gently fell on Jiyeon who had been nervously staring at the plaster cast around her arm. She bit her lower lip and nodded, “I am…fine.” Jiyeon replied in a voice that had dropped to a whisper. She slowly raised her head and turned her eyes to her left, where Travis was sitting. The boy had been quiet as he asked himself questions as to how Jiyeon got the big bruise on her face. The bruise decorated itself across the left side of Jiyeon’s face like a big wing of a butterfly. Travis wanted to let his eyes linger on Jiyeon’s face, but he couldn’t, he averted his eyes away from her face to his grandmother who seemed to have a lot to say. “It is late, you guys go to sleep, and we will have a talk tomorrow.” Mrs Park suggested instantly after getting up. The t
Silence — it was absolutely hushed. The wind released a soft cry that left a hole of embarrassment in the two boys' hearts. Their eyes nervously darted from one place to the other. Travis shifted from foot to foot, wearing a glowing, sparkling smile that magnificently decorated his face. David silently fought with his heart, urging to gain control over it, but he continued to fail over and over again. No words could describe the amount of jingling in the depths of Travis’s heart as he was fishing for words to spew, but none came forth. “One, two, three...” He counted as he tried to wipe his smile, but he had no control over it. His eyes gently landed on David’s pale face for a brief while and then they quickly flew away from his face to the dusty nightstand. “S-so…how are —!?” “I need to use the bathroom,” David whispered with a hiss when Travis was speaking. The boy quietly nodded and carefully watched David as he hurried into his bathroom. “Calm down, breathe!” Immediately after
•••The rays of the rising sun flooded into the space, gently landing on the black island table that separated the two individuals — one wearing a smirk that was carefully spreading across his face and the other with eyes that were dilated with shock. It was very quiet — so hushed, making it easy for Sean to hear how loud and demanding David’s heart was throbbing. “Remember it, David. Remember well how you tightly clenched the sheets, endlessly moaning my name. I did not force you; you were the one who jumped on me even when I was asking you to stop. You were not drunk; we both know that.” Sean murmured, leaning forward and allowing the sunbeams to expose his green gleaming eyes. The man ensured that his gaze strictly fell on David’s face, studying its movements and the change of colour — from pale to red. David closed his eyes and gritted his teeth so hard that an unbearable pain kept his gums hostage for a short period. He did not want to react to Sean’s words, but his body diso
–“Falling deep into blue…! I wish I did not, but I ended up doing it. It is painful and it hurts so much.” A boy who whispered through his clenched teeth lay on a king-sized bed whose sheets were wrinkled. The beams of the rising sun floated into the huge room through the naked window and landed kisses on his pale, nude body. His eyelids trembled when he felt every warm touch from the sun. A smile faintly spread across his dry, chapped lips immediately when his eyes slowly opened and collided with a white, vaulted ceiling. He bit his lip and closed his eyes again. “How many times have I been looking at you? It is still the same and I hate it. Maybe he should change the design…!” David breathed instantly after clearing his throat and never dared himself to move his body, not even an inch. “Maybe we should do it somewhere else. In another room so that I don’t always look at the ceiling. I had to look at it all night.” The boy added with a loud, rough sigh, ignoring the sun’s beams th