I'd cried since Dan left. I couldn't hold on to anything without killing it. Anything that depended on me would be sorely let down. He was a cat. I shouldn't be crushed, but it was almost as painful as losing Joshua. In some ways, I was like a recovering addict. They're not supposed to be in romantic relationships until they've completed a year of sobriety, and then programs suggest trying to keep a house plant alive for a year before embarking on a pet. I had done it all. I wasn't an addict, but I'd endured months of extensive counseling-I'd followed the rules. First Joshua, now my cat. It just didn't make sense except I was toxic to anything dependent upon me. The beating on my door scared the crap out of me. I was hesitant to go to the door at almost midnight. I approached quietly to see if I could see who was on the porch before I turned on the light."Lissa, baby, open the door." Dan's voice rang out in the night, booming against the door. It dawned on me he was kicking the doo
I had fallen asleep wrapped up in Dan's arms. Sometime during the night, he'd pulled a blanket over us but never let me go. When I woke to the brick wall that was his chest, a lazy smile crossed my cheeks. The warmth radiating off him surrounded me in a cocoon of security. Just for a moment, I wished I could suspend time. It was a pipe dream. I knew I had to wake him so he could decide about going to the basketball tournament. I roamed my hand across his chest and over his shoulder, memorizing the details as I went down his arm. The corners of his mouth tipped up, but he didn't open his eyes."Don't stop. That feels good." His voice was groggy and husky. If he hadn't had the night he had, I'd be all over him. Instead, I continued to trail my hand all over his exposed skin enjoying the feel of him under my fingertips. The swelling had gone down in his face, but he still had evidence of his feline encounter all over his arms. Hopefully, the scratches wouldn't leave scars. "What are
Annie and I had become fast friends. She had a small group of girlfriends, but they were currently on different paths. She was career driven, focused in a way most women never are because they're more interested in husbands and babies. I admired her and Brett for that matter. The more time we spent with them, the more I saw the intricate way their lives were woven with Dan's and just how easily they were bringing me into that fold. There was no longer a day that went by that I didn't receive messages from Annie; she wasn't big on talking on the phone, which suited me just fine. We met for lunch when she was out near the University and coffee after work. Having a girlfriend who wanted nothing more than to be my friend was priceless. She was pulling for Dan and me just as much as I was.The last time we'd met for coffee was the day I knew Annie valued our friendship as much as I did. Dan had told me for months she was a private person. Her past had been daunting, and she didn't share
I knew I'd beat him to his house and wasn't sure how comfortable I was going in alone. I wasn't going to snoop, but it was his personal space, and I didn't want to intrude. I warred with that silly notion for far longer than I should before I got out, found the key, and let myself in.Closing the door behind me, I took a single step before I noticed the vast number of flowers-all the color of my hair. Beautiful orange Marigolds, California Poppies, Lily of the Incas, and far more I didn't recognize. Petals littered the floor in a path between the vases. Everywhere I turned there were more I hadn't seen. Each vase took me a step closer to the living room where Dan sat on the couch with something in his hand. My heart threatened to beat out of my chest until I realized what he was holding was paper."Where's your truck?" My brow furrowed in confusion."That's the question you're choosing to lead with?" He roared with laughter. I stopped and gave him a look, the one that told him I
It hadn't taken long to figure out how to find an attorney. My cell phone started ringing day in and day out with calls from people wanting to take my case. Oddly, they all wanted to do it pro-bono, which I thought was strange. Initially, I had taken names and phone numbers and tried to make notes about my conversation with each, but until I was formally charged by the District Attorney, I wasn't making a commitment to anyone. I had no idea why anyone would even be willing to represent me, much less want to, but I continued my list just the same. I had thought charges would come faster than they had. The case was cut and dry, I had killed Joshua. There was no way around that, and no jury would see that any differently. But as I prepared for his funeral, I still hadn't heard from anyone at the police station. Matt remained adamant about my not attending the memorial service or the graveside, but I'd refused. I loved Joshua as much as everyone else had, my mistake didn't change that,
The next morning, I received the call. The District Attorney formally charged me with manslaughter. The state of Texas didn't differentiate between that and involuntary. They'd graciously waited until after the funeral since I hadn't been considered a flight risk, but the autopsy had revealed exactly what I knew it would. Matt had been there when I got the call and stood waiting for me to hang up."What did they say?" The man who'd loved me enough to propose to me made a brief appearance, concerned with my future, or maybe just how it would affect his.I twirled the ring on my left finger. "Manslaughter.""Have you chosen an attorney?""No. I've only been able to deal with one thing at a time. Guess that just moved to the top of the list. I'll have to notify the University as well.""Do you think they'll let you continue teaching?""Doubtful. They don't want the negativity associated with the school."The doorbell rang, and Matt walked away to answer it. I gathered my notes on t
Dan and I met Annie and Brett at our favorite pizza place downtown. It was still fairly early in the evening, and families scurried around with their children. Brett and Dan regaled us with stories of their youth and college days that didn't seem to fit either of their personalities now. Every detail of Dan's past piqued my curiosity; I soaked it up like a sponge. As we approached the one-year mark, I wondered if he was as serious about the relationship as I was. We weren't getting any younger, and in my opinion, either he knew I was it, or I wasn't. Annie and I had discussed it at length, but she didn't have any more insight into his plans than I did. She'd badgered Brett trying to get the scoop, but he'd been close-lipped about the whole thing knowing Annie would tell me whatever he told her. Now, we both waited. We had compared time frames, hoping Dan might mimic Annie and Brett's, but that still put me a couple of months out for any confirmed commitment.I watched as Annie's att
I made it longer than I had anticipated before Dan started questioning me about my offer to carry someone else's child. There had been no mention of it the following week, and even when he finally brought it up, the topic was casual. I'd been talking to Annie about the possibility but didn't want to be a nuisance, so I hadn't pressured her. While she hadn't agreed, she hadn't asked me to stop questioning her about it, nor had she said no. I was patient. I could wait. Dan arrived on my doorstep promptly at six. I heard him call out from the front of the house. "Penny, I'm here whenever you're ready." I fastened my earring and slipped on my heels. With one final glance in the mirror, I set out to find my boyfriend. He'd chosen my dress from those in my closet but hadn't seen it on me. I had been excited to see him in a suit; I was awestruck when he showed up in a tux. The crisp tailored feel of the tuxedo accentuated his build. Standing at my door, he was the man my imagination conju