Chapter 3 | Distance Between Us

Lux 

I’m eighteen.

I can’t believe I’m actually eighteen.

Something is off this morning, but I’m not sure what. Kodi is in my head and it feels like she’s stirring around anxiously. Will I meet my mate today?

I sigh softly to myself and roll over as I try to get comfortable in my bed before one of the boys comes to wake me up. But something is still off. I just can’t figure out what. 

Nothing exciting is happening today. I turned 18, but we won’t get our wolves until the next full moon, which, from what my parents said, it’s two weeks away. A small part of me wonders if I’ll shift early. I already have shifted before, but it’s been about 8 years since my last shift. My wolf, Kodi, only came out when I was young to help heighten my senses and teach me how to cope better with my blindness.

She scared the hell out of my family, though. No one expected to see a five-year-old shift into a wolf pup, it was unheard of. And my family made sure that it was kept a secret. My mom has always been scared about people abusing me for their own personal gain.

She never told me that directly... she wants me to believe that I’m a strong woman and capable of doing anything that a person who can see can do, but I overheard her crying to my dad and grandparents about it once. I never told her I heard... I know it would just make her guilt worse.

Kodi has always stayed in the back of my mind, though. I can occasionally feel her presence, but typically only when I’m doing or eating something she really enjoys. Otherwise, she stays back because until I’m of age, anytime we shift, it was painful and took a lot of energy out of us. She told me when I’m old enough, she’ll be able to always be around. 

A part of me looks forward to the companionship and the other part of me wonders if I’ll miss being on my own and having my own thoughts without someone else being able to pry into them.

There’s a knock on my door, and it quickly opens and shuts. I take a deep breath and recognize my brother’s scent. I smile as I say, “Happy birthday.”

My bed dips as he lies down beside me and he responds in a melancholy tone, “Happy birthday, Lux.”

I’m surprised by his tone. I know he’s been excited about our birthday for a while. It means he’ll get to meet his mate; he’ll get to shift into his wolf, and he’ll really begin taking responsibilities as him being King won’t be too far behind. 

I ask, “What’s wrong?”

He sighs, “Everything is about to change. I’m just nervous about the changes. What if I’m not a good King? What if I can’t handle the challenges that come with being a mate? I just... I want to do a good job.”

I chuckle, “I don’t think you need to be worried about doing a good job, Kai. I’m sure it’ll come naturally. Plus, it’s gotta be easier for you than it was for our parents.”

He chuckles softly in response, but he knows that I’m right. Our mother was the only daughter and heir to the throne, but she had been separated from her parents at a young age. She knew little about royalty until after she gained her wolf. She and dad had to learn everything within a couple of months before taking the throne. Kai mutters something under his breath and I didn’t catch what it was before I hear my door open and can smell the boys as they walk in. I can hear as their feet all run towards us and they all plop on the bed, eventually making all of us smushed together because my king-size bed isn’t big enough for 4 full-grown men and 1 full grown woman. 

I laugh at their antics and hear them all say, “Happy birthday, Kai and Lux!”

Everyone talks about different things at once and I just smile happily to myself. I love my boys and being crammed in my bed together making me reminisce about our childhood when we would have sleepovers like this is the best way that I could’ve started my day.

I just hope Kai will loosen up throughout the day and be able to enjoy it. 

Silas

When David, Calvin, and I stood outside of Lux’s door, I already knew that I must not be her mate.

If I was, then her scent would’ve been stronger, beckoning me to come closer, just like my scent would’ve done to her. But that wasn’t happening.

The other guys seem oblivious to my sadness as they burst into her room. I’m a few steps behind them, but we all get onto her bed with her brother and make ourselves as comfortable as we can. We all say, “Happy birthday, Kai and Lux!”

We all laugh at our situation in her bed. We must look ridiculous. I’m closest to her and as I see her beautiful smile, my heart breaks even more knowing that I am not hers and she is not mine. 

I try not to let my sadness show, though. I want her to have a good day. She is very in tune with everyone’s emotions, especially those closest to her, so I know if I don’t put on some good vibes, then she will see right through me.

We all get off the bed and pick something for her to wear and wait for her before we go downstairs, just like we do every morning. I wanted to escort her downstairs, but I saw Kai take her arm and I knew it was best for them to have one another today.

When we get downstairs, I smile whenever I see that Alpha Zane and Luna Lilly came into town along with their kids, Amber, Christopher, and Iris.

Zane and Lilly are close friends of all our parents. They were the people who took over King Archer’s original pack since he had to move away to be with Queen Rieka and for them to take their places as Alpha King and Luna Queen.

Iris is the only child that Zane and Lilly had together since Lilly had Amber and Christopher before they were together. It’s been over two years since I’ve seen any of them, but Iris is the closest to our age and I must admit, she looks good, a lot better than I remember. Not that she was bad looking before, it’s just now she looks... grown up. Before I can take another step down the stairs so that I could go greet her and hug her, I hear a growl from behind me, “MINE!”

I get shoved to the side and watch as Calvin rushes up to her and brushes her hair away from her face. Her eyes are glued to his face, and I can hear Lilly, his mom Olive, and all the other moms in the room gushing about the fact that one of us kids finally found our mate.

I hear Lux mutter to Kai, “Calvin and Iris?”

“Yup.” Kai responds, letting the ‘p’ sound pop.

Kai and Lux’s parents, Archer and Rieka, walk over towards them and I move out of the way and let them have their privacy. I get ready to sit down where I normally would so that I could be by Lux until my dad came beside me and said just soft enough that only I would hear him, “She’s not your mate, son, should you really continue to sit beside her?”

I roll my lips together and nod in response as I follow to sit beside my brother, David, who is next to Christopher and Amber, near the end of the table.

I glance over here and there as everyone gets seated and I can’t help but notice that Lux looked in the chair beside her, the one that I normally occupied, but it was now being taken by Iris, with Calvin right next to her.

Lux leans towards Kai, who is on her other side, and he nods in understanding at whatever she said and I notice his eyes glaze over, showing that he mind linked someone, more than likely Lux so that they could continue their conversation in private. I wish I could be beside her right now, but now that I am officially not her mate, it’s time that I make some distance between us.

It’s for the best, no matter how much it may hurt. 

My wolf, Jax, makes his presence known as he whimpers in my mind from me sitting away from Lux. He surprises me when he does this and then I wonder, why is he sad?

I look over at her as she laughs at something someone said. She’s so effortlessly beautiful, and I want her to be mine. Jax mumbles in my head, “Mate?”

My eyes widen at his comment and I ask, “Do you feel tingles, Jax? Can you smell her scent the way we’re supposed to? I don’t think she’s our mate.”

He grumbles something in response, and I look back at Lux. Why did Jax call her mate when the mate bond isn’t coming out to us?

This doesn’t make any sense. But I’m scared to say anything to anyone because I don’t want to hear that it’s just my wishful thinking.