Kabanata 1

"I'm so—"

"I don't need your apology, Sheen!" malakas na sigaw ni daddy na nagpatahimik sa akin. I slowly lowered my head, preparing my ears and heart for the painful words they will hurl at me, especially mommy's here.

"Sorry means you failed. I don't want failures on this family, Sheen." I just played my fingers when I heard the disappointment in daddy's voice that is    no longer new to me.

"Gosh, I don't know what to do anymore on her, Chales," mommy said in a frustrated tone saka madramang tumayo. "That little rat doesn't need a        rest."

My ears throbbed for what I heard, I slowly lifted my emotionless face and looked mommy straight in the eye. "Without due respect, Mommy. I know I've done what I should have done and already did my best! Pero hindi niyo naman iyon nakikita dahil sa una pa lang bulag kayo sa mga achievement ko, hindi ba?" sarcastic na sabi ko ngunit ramdam ang hinanakit doon.

Then I looked at daddy, too. "I'm your daughter, Dad! I just want to feel the love of a parent... the love I needed the most. I don't need your influence, power, or the money that comes from the illegal activities of this fam—"

I was stunned when mommy's heavy hand suddenly perched on my cheek. Gusto ko mang umiyak sa sakit pero kailangan kong pigilan. Hindi nila pwedeng makita ang pag-iyak ko. Hindi ko kailanman ipapakita sa ibang tao na umiiyak ako.

"Cahrren, stop it. You don't need to slap her!" Agad na lumapit si dad kay mommy para pigilan ito sa tangkang pagsampal ulit sa 'kin.

I quickly left the living room and ran towards my room. I haven't heard mommy's answer anymore. I don’t know if I should be thankful because somehow daddy doesn’t hurt me physically or if I should hate them for hurting me emotionally and mentally.

Making sure the door was locked, I went to my room and laid down on the bed while caressing the slapped cheek. After a minute of crying, I slowly closed my eyes to rest and escape from all the pain and tiredness.

"Caroline!"

"Caroline, gumising ka na! Tanghali na!"

Napabalikwas ako sa higaan dulot ng mga sigaw na galing sa labas ng bahay. I stayed in my bed for a few minutes– not minding those screams– before getting up and began to arrange the pillows and my blanket.

Argh, I'm annoyed. Sino ba namang 'di maiirita kapag ginising ka sa mahimbing na pagtulog, 'di ba?

When I made sure the bed was clean, I pulled back the thick curtains and natural light started to engulfs the whole room.

Nanipilyo muna ako and just put my hair into a messy bun. Before I went out, I wear an oversize black shirt paired with a black dressy jogger and put on my black summer wedge sandal.

Pagbukas ko ng pinto, I saw the two girls shaking their feet para matanggal ang buhangin na nasa suot nilang flip-flops.

"Gandang-ganda talaga ako sa'yo, Caroline, alam mo ba 'yon? Masasabi ko na talaga na ang unfair ng mundo." Bungad ni Joy at pabirong hinampas ang right hand ko nang makalapit sa kanila.

They showed me a puzzle look when I let out a sharp sneer. "Did you ever believe once that equality exists in this world? Really, Joy?"

Camille came closer to me and put her hands on my shoulder. "By the way, Caroline, bumili ka nalang kaya ng alarm clock? Hmmm... pero 'wag mong kalimutan ang promise mo." Camille pouted, putting her index finger in her chin.

I just shrugged my shoulders saka naunang maglakad.

Joy and Camille are cousins ​​and they both two years younger than me. Well, hindi naman nagkakalayo ang edad kaya ako parati ang kinukulit nila. I knew them when I started to work at their auntie's grocery store. They welcome me to their family kahit sa maliit na panahon pa lamang kami nagkakakilala at nagkasama.

Honestly, I don't know what to feel that new acquaintances considered me as a family yet my own family doesn't have single care towards me.

Malapit lang ang palengke sa tinitirhan ko at pwedeng-pwede namang lakarin. Tita Mila decided to close the shop today because consumers are not that numerous on weekdays. She also wanted me to take a day off to roam around and have a glimpse of the island. Isang buwan na ako rito pero hindi naman kasi ako palalabas. Pagkatapos ng trabaho ay umuuwi rin ako kaagad.

Turning around, I saw my two acquintances chitchatting meters away from me. Kumaway pa ito nang makitang tinitingnan ko sila.

"Carol, hintayin mo kami!" malakas na pagsigaw ni Joy able for me to heard it.

I ignored it and shifted my gaze to the road. When I was sure that there were no vehicles on my left as well as on my right side, I slowly stepped my feet on the pedestrian lane.

I should've thankful to those two for waking me up earlier. They roused me from a nightmares that kept on hunting me.

"Carol, mababangga ka!"

Hearing a loud toot, I immediately looked at my left side and see the oncoming car. At the extreme speed of events, I just found myself lying on the side of the road. May mga sinasabi ang tao pero hindi ko tuluyang narinig at naintindihan.

"Caroline, anong masakit sa 'yo? Tatawag lang kami ng ambulansya. Huwag mong ipipikit ang mga mata mo, ha," natatarantang sambit ni Joy.

"Maraming salamat sa pagligtas kay Caroline, mister." Rinig kong sabi ni Camille na nagpabalik sa aking kamalayan.

What?

Agad ko iyong napagtanto nang maramdamang may tao na nakahiga sa aking gilid. Ang isang kamay nito ang nagsilbing proteksyon para hindi tuluyang mabagok ang ulo ko sa semento.

Nakaramdam pa ako ng kaunting hilo nang agad-agad akong bumangon. Nakita ko ang pag-alala sa mga mukha ni Joy at Camille. Some people also asked me how I am but I chose not to answer. I scanned the whole place and sight few inquisitive people on the perimeter.

"Huwag na kayong tumawag ng ambulansiya, Joy."

"Pero..."

"I'm okay..."

Someone suddenly reached out his hand in front of me na pinagkunot ng aking noo.

"Arkhyl is my name. How's your feeling, miss?" Ngumiti ito na naging dahilan upang makita ang pantay at mapuputing ngipin niya. Inayos pa nito ang kaniyang sumbrero.

"So... you're the one who saved me?" naniniguradong tanong ko. I glanced briefly sa kamay niya na nasa ere pa rin. After a second, he chuckled as he put his arm down. Alam niya na siguro na wala akong plano to shake hands with him.

Judging by his looks, I know he's not the kind of person you should trust at. Hindi totally kita ang mukha niya because of the cap he's wearing, but I can say that he's a fine looking guy. His smooth skin indicates that it is well cared for. Matangos din ang ilong at may mapupulang labi. Well, his fashion is not that bad either.

That's enough, Caroline. You just don't compliment someone like that.

"Huwag mo akong titigan ng ganiyan, miss. I probably assume you want to get my number so you can talk to me and know me better."

Umawang ang labi ko sa pinagsasabi nitong lalaki.

Kapal naman ng mukha!

"Miss, if hindi ka marunong tumawid, huwag ka nalang pagala-gala!"

I veered to the source of the new voice and saw another guy. Walang bahid ng emosyon sa mukha nito pero base sa boses ay iritado na.

Another guy, huh.

My forehead creased as I scanned him. I notice how simple but cool his outfit is. He is wearing a black fitted shirt na nagdipena ng kaniyang broad shoulders, and a black pants paired with a white sneaker. Hindi kaputian ang balat nito pero I find it se—

Enough! Stop describing every person you met today, Caroline.

"Miss, do you hear me?" May paglakas sa boses nito kaya nahinto ang mga iniisip ko.

I crossed my arms over my chest and squinted at him. "Excuse me, who are you?"

Yumuko ito as he massaged his nape. "I have some important things to do, lady. You wasted my time dahil sa pagiging tanga mo. Next time be knowledgeable enough how things work on your vicinity."

"I don't give a damn about the important things you're going to do, mister! Now, you think you can get things right because of blaming me and having that crooked reason? What are you trying to prove?"

Hinawakan nang marahan ni Joy ang aking balikat, pilit na pinapakalma. "Caroline, that's enough. Mukhang mapera at maimpluwensiya ang lalaking 'yan, mapupunta rin sa wala ang pinaglalaban mo."

I looked at her like I didn't expect what she muttered. "Nasa tama at may pinaglalaban ako, Joy. Hindi pera o kung sino mang maimpluwensiya ang makakapagpatahimik sa akin," may diin kong saad bago hinarap ulit ang lalaki.

We stared at each other for a second hanggang siya ang unang nag-iwas ng tingin. I felt awkward and intimidated pero kailangan kong ipakita sa kaniya na hindi ako basta-bastang susuko.

"You want me to say sorry?" tanong niya sa sarcastic na tono. Nasa malayo ang tingin nito na animo'y may iniisip na malalim. He let out a deep sighed before turning his gaze to me. "Para matahimik ka na... fine! I'm—"

"Huwag ka ng humingi ng tawad kung labag naman sa kalooban mo. Just... leave!" putol ko sa sasabihin niya and motioned him to his car.

Could a mere sorry fix the damage you cause to someone? Definitely, it's a big NO. The scars would still there to make you remember the pain you've experienced even a long time ago. People are just saying sorry because we compelled to say the word. In order for our conscience not to hunt us everytime, we believe that asking forgiveness will do. Just like what majority says, 'We say sorry for us to be able to do another mistake again.' We think that saying sorry is already enough and could take the pain away in just a snap.

Nanindig ang balahibo ko nang nilapit niya ang labi sa aking tainga. "Magkano ba ang kailangan mo?"

What a jerk!

No one dares to come close and even whisper to my ears without my consent.

Uminit ang aking ulo kaya't tinulak ko siya at sinampal ngunit hindi man lang natinag sa ginawa ko.

"Umalis ka na! Hinding-hindi matatakpan ng ilang libo o kahit milyon pa ang kasamaan ng budhi mo!"

He just chuckled sexily habang hawak ang nasampal na pisngi. "Tss. Just go to the hospital when you need it."

Before he left, he flashed a devilish smile then drove the car away.