Lilian and Mia were already waiting for me at the mall on Friday morning after I dropped the kids off at school. I had chosen this mall because it was close to the kid's school and I could easily go and get them when we were done.
My mind had been working a thousand miles per hour after my encounter with that room. Every muscle in my body wanted me to take the lift upstairs to the third floor and find out what secrets my boyfriend was hiding behind those closed doors. And Lucas's words when he got back that afternoon did nothing to soothe me.
"It's an old storeroom," he said simply, managing to avoid my eyes as he spoke. I did not need more to know he was either not telling me the truth or giving me a half version of it. I spent most of the week finishing up with the sweaters I was making for the kids. At
Mia leaned down, grabbing my broken phone in her hand before I got the chance to stop her. I did not plan to though, I was too shaken by the last message to move an inch."What the hell is this Chris?" she asked, as her eyes roamed the message, "Is this the reason you have been uneasy all afternoon?" she flashed the messages in my face, confusion, and anger plastered across her face."What's going in here?" Lilian asked, strolling over to us. She had a louder gasp after Mia handed her the phone."Chris, this is scary," she said, eyes darting around in search of what I could not bother to figure out, "who is it?""Sarah," I said with surprising calmness,"S
"The very least you could have done was to tell me," Mia said, rubbing her hand against her forehead as she paced the kitchen. I sat behind the counter, hands under my chin as I waited for her to vent out all of her frustration. It was much easier to deal with her now after Lucas and I had fixed things yesterday, with some talking and well you know the rest.Mia was not upset per se, it was more like she was terrified of what could have happened and I completely understood her anger seeing as I was on the brink of going mad with worry yesterday. All of that was gone through. Lucas was not joking when he said he would it all out of my system and now I just had to convince Mia that it was all gone."I went crazy with worry Chris," she threw her hands in the air.
It was a night to celebrate, yet I could not bring myself to shake off the bad mood seeing that room had put me in all week. Mia's fiancee, Mason had returned and he was meeting the family for dinner tonight. Lucas had noticed my change in behavior towards him, but he was too busy this week to acknowledge it. He had asked a few times why I was gloomy, to which I told him I had caught something and felt a little under the weather.I could not tell which hurt more, the knowledge that he had still not let go of her after those many years or the fact that he was too busy to care about how hurt I was. He was thoroughly occupied with trying to fix the security breach at the Milan branch and I feared he would have to travel there himself to fix things. Mia and Lilan frequented their visits and that was a more than welcome distraction for me, after Sarah's last messag
I stiffened immediately as the words left his mouth. My eyes darted for a second hoping I would see her. Maybe he had seen her, maybe it was really not what my mind was thinking, maybe I had started to hear things or my tired brain had started to mix things up. "Fuck, Sarah," The words rang heavily in my head, and without even knowing it, I cried much harder than before. Lucas realized too really late what he had said, I could tell that from the way he also froze. His hands were still holding my cheek and his lips were still only an inch away, but the deed had been done. The deed had been fucking done. "You called me by her name," I whispered because that was all I had the strength to do, whisper the heavy words.
It was my day off. As if on cue, Mia had come in early that morning, even before I dragged my sad self out of bed and she offered to take care of the kids while I got some free time to myself. If she was worried about my puffy eyes and red nose, she did not show it, but I knew she was only trying to be understanding by not bombarding me with questions. That I was thankful for.I was lucky enough to have missed Lucas this morning, I could not trust myself to not break down into tears at the sight of him after last night. Just the thought of how he had called me her name, and I was sobbing like a broken tap again. It hurt, and even more so because I hardly ever fucking cried and much less over an asshole like Lucas.Yet you love himThe thought was ev
My heart still raced from being startled, and I clutched my chest, trying to regain my composure after the scare. Lucas was on his feet now, eyes wide with rage and his jaws clenched so hard that I thought they would crack any moment."Where the fuck have you been?" he asked again, much louder seeing as I did not answer the first time."You scared me, Lucas," I said, shaking my head, "what were you doing sitting in the dark?""Going crazy worrying about you that's what. But that does not answer my question," he growled, stalking closer to me, "where have you been all day?""It's my day off," I reminded him with a scowl, "surely I am allowed to go out. I do not own all the problems in the world."
"What do you think about this one?" I raised the ball of yarn so Mia could get a better view."Abby would love it," she said, wheeling the cart closer and taking one to get a better look. "She's a pink princess.""So green for Aiden and Pink for Abby, typical twins," I chuckled and filled her cart with the balls in my hand.It had been a week since Lucas and I decided to take a break from each other. The week had been horribly difficult and it was even more difficult on days where we had to go through an activity together with the kids. I realized soon enough that we were both doing a shit job at going with the flow of just employer and employee. So I made the choice to avoid him as much as possible, but that only seemed to make him come closer, clearly, I was not the on
The next morning, Lucas woke up feeling even worse than he felt last night. Mia had gone home last night after she made me promise a thousand promises to call if he did not get better overnight, so I had my hands full with taking care of the kids and looking after Lucas too.The latter was harder though since Lucas would not even admit to being sick."I'm fine, I swear," he grumbled as I put my hand over his head again."No, you're not. People who are fine do not have high temperatures enough to burn up." I leaned back from where I sat on the mattress next to the cold water and towel I used on him all morning. It almost felt weird sitting next to him in the same bed and I worked hard to keep memories of how many times he had taken me on this very bed from my
Mia got married at the Terranea Resort. It was one of those places in California I had heard of but never so much as dreamt of being in. The ceremony took place by the beach cove overlooking the rolling mountains that gave way to a panoramic view of the sea. I was even more awed to see how they had turned it into the fairytale every girl dreamed of.The four pillar altar was decorated in red roses all around the roof—a befitting color for the month—with green branches curling around each pillar to the root. Red rose petals arranged in large cursive hearts littered the aisle leading to the altar, and golden candle lanterns were lit on either side. Even the seats were dressed in pink fabrics and red bows attached behind. It was like an early valentine's day, only more magical.The day became even more magical when Mia arrived in a carriage, yes a frigging carriage. As I got to my feet along with everyone else in attendance, I watched with the same awe and fascination with which I had wa
Christmas had never been anything special for me. I had spent my last two Christmas' before this working an all-day shift at work, wiping vomit off tables and getting yelled at by unhappy customers taking their anger and frustrations on me. Afterward, C and I would spend the morning drinking on a rooftop and dancing to Fuck Christmas by Eric Idle. It was not exactly like I was the grinch or that I forbade the holiday spirit, there really was just nothing to celebrate or be happy for. After spending most of my childhood holidays hoping I would escape some beating or screaming from the matron on duty at the foster care that day who would rather be drinking her guts out on her day off, it was not exactly my favorite time of the year, so I said a big fuck you to it every year.This year though, it was a whole different story. Like I had stepped into this perfect, in your dreams life belonging to someone else. And for the first time in my life, the reality was the more preferable option. T
Where do I begin? From our awkward first meeting to having bad guys and crazy exes thrown in jail, Lucas and I had been through one hell of a journey. The longest one I had ever been through my adulthood, I would dare to say. It was amazing to think how much my life had changed in the months I had known Lucas and the twins. I had gone from independent and never needing anyone besides my best friend to this woman who could not even do so much as breathe without them."Are you okay?" Celine asked, tilting her face to meet mine in the mirror."Nervous," I said, going for honesty as I tugged on the hem of the white fitted dress clinging to my body."'Oh bess," she cooed, adjusting my veil, "you have every right to be, it's your big day."I smiled sheepishly at the thought, staring down at the ring on my finger that would be joined by another in a few minutes, "It is my big day. Oh my God, I'm getting married bess." The words slammed a fresh dose of unrestrained happiness against my heart
Every story I'd hard about the afterlife was a big fat lie. There were no angels in white robes, no opera waiting to usher me into the gates of heaven but then again who said I was going to heaven. The pain shooting up my body felt everything like hell, or at least I knew the one coming would. I clamp my eyes closed tighter as I lay on the floor in what I know is my pool of blood, waiting for the pain I hope to come. She succeeded and I let her win, I let Sarah shoot me. There was no longer going to be the amazing sex with Lucas, no spending afternoons with the kids, no harmless gossips disguised as Sunday lunch dates with my best friend. No more of Lucas's family, all of that was now simply gone, just gone.The thought left a hot burning scar on my throat and I gasped, fighting to take in the air that was not coming. This really was it, I had lost and she had won. But the arms suddenly wrapping me in a warm embrace felt too familiar to be related to the icy feeling of dying."Chris?!
You know that feeling when you wake up to a day that just feels off right from the moment you open your eyes? It could be the harsh rays of the sun nearly blinding and forcing you to wake up early on a Saturday morning or the annoying sound of your alarm reminding you that it's a Monday Morning again after you spent Sunday evening drinking your guts out. That small, seemingly unimportant detail in your morning that makes sure you have a bad rest of your day. I was having one of those mornings, but unlike most, I knew exactly why it was going to be a bad day.After laying motionless in the same spot for what felt like an eternity, body unwilling to move and mind refusing to come alive, I finally found a reason to get up, thanks to my pressing bladder. I walked back into the room after finishing my business and realized for the first time this morning, that Lucas was not here and the kids had not come to barge down my door in search of me.I knew Lucas would leave early for what he had
It was sweet effing relief. After almost two months here, we were finally making the trip back home. While there were less than relieving reasons involved, it still brought a wide grin to my face when the sound of the wheels scraping the runway of Lindbergh field reached my ears.Martha and Calvin were the first to welcome us home, with Calvin giving the usual manly hugs and pats on the back to his two sons and Martha going through a long streak of teary hugs and sobbing her thanks that her grandbabies were okay. She had insisted all three of them rode in their car with them as we came home from the airport. I realized it had probably been a wise choice to keep them oblivious to my pregnancy. Martha, for one, would have thrown a fit if her hopes of having a new grandchild were suddenly crushed by my miscarriage.After almost two months away, I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be normal. My usual routine, the one I had when my life was still a simple cycle of getting Abby and
What happened to the curious cat again? Ah yes, she got her neck snapped by her fiance's supposed best friend because she would not simply stay out of trouble. I was fairly sure, no most certainly positive that was what Adrian would do to me as his eyes bored into me with something that looked rather far from the friendliness I had seen when we first met. Maybe my body would be found in a nearby dumpster in a week or more.And then it hit me. Lucas had told me he was coming here to check on security hours ago and as I stood there scanning the room briefly, he was absolutely nowhere in sight. Oh, my God! Maybe he hurt Lucas and was now taking out whatever anger was left in him on Baron. I thought they were supposed to be best friends.The thought had not completely settled in my mind when a familiar figure stepped out of the shadows, wiping his hand on a towel stained in crimson. It was Lucas. He halted in his steps as his eyes landed on me, shock and a slightly less version of anger f
It was hard to tell how long we lay there, with me half-naked and asleep in Lucas' arms. But when I woke up to the light scruff of grass against my knee, the red-orange of the sky told me we had been there in that position for quite a while."I'm sorry," Lucas rasped, and I realized we had shifted from the position we were in when I fell asleep. Lucas sat with his back against the wall of the maze, holding me to himself. It was the closest we had been to each other, with the obvious exemption of how intimate we had been before I drifted asleep. "I didn't mean to wake you up,""How long did I sleep?" I asked, with quite an idea in mind."Not long enough, you needed the rest." he stroked my head as he spoke."You should have woken me," I gave a brief chuckle, followed by a wince at the numbness in my hands as I attempted to pull myself away from him and sit up.Lucas held on to me tighter though, tutting and shaking his head as he did. "I don't want you to leave just yet, stay here in m
I had not realized just how much I needed to breathe fresh air that was not sullied by a mixture of stale air, pills from the doctor, and a large dose of my sadness. For what first like the first time in forever, the sight of food did not make my stomach churn, or at least it did in the right way. The scent of freshly made orange juice and blueberry danishes set out on the picnic table only made my mouth water and my empty stomach growl. I turned to my best friend the closest thing I had to a sister with a smile. "You planned this?" Of course, she did. I had to be the luckiest human on the planet to have everyone I had in my life now. She rounded the table, taking her seat with a knowing smile. "I was hopeful that today would be a good day." I tilted my head, a fresh wave of guilt pulling at my chest. I had been so drowned in my sadness that I had completely neglected everyone, myself included. "I'm so sorry for shutting you out too, Bess." She shook her head tersely, "Nope, we ar