I'm such a mess. Why did I forget the part that I wanted to say the most to him? My parents know I am working overseas as a lawyer they don't know Levi existed or Trevor Clark and I broke up five years ago. Only my eldest sister in New Zealand knew what happened. Because of his wrong timing in breaking up with me, I couldn’t have the heart to spoil their happiness, so to continue my lie, I've been working day and night just to give them support and for them not to realize I'm not an attorney. In our province, it's a culture to help your parents after you graduate, to spoil them with lavish things, and return their love when they raised you. I'd like to say that we're now in the middle class, all three of their children had already graduated, and we aim to support our parents until we can't anymore, it's a debt of gratitude— the one that he doesn't understand. Not only that, I have to fake my smile and work with society— that's the hardest for an introvert like me, especially when
~When I was dreaming of entering law school, I met Lucia. She's on her phone ranting about her roommate and wanting to kick her out. "I'll find another roommate to replace her, immediately. Someone who would get my vibes and is responsible in the house." My ears tingled, we were in a coffee shop, and I'm not eavesdropping over the woman on the other table, I just have ears, it's inevitable, and the woman was talking loudly on the phone. So when the waiter gave my frappe, I ordered a slice of an orange chiffon cake and instructed her to give it to the woman on the phone. "Yes, you heard me right, brother! I know how expensive the rent is outside the university belt, but guess what, I don't care. Kick her out for me, I don't want to see any trace of her in my unit tonight." When the cake arrived, I made sure to sit in front of her and the waitress explained that the cake was from me. "Why did you give me a cake?" I smiled wickedly, aware that she dropped her phone on the table bu
"Why the hell did you do that?!" I exclaimed, frantically putting down my things on the table. My frown not leaving my face, Trevor looked at me with a sullen look. "I'm sorry, it's my fault." I sat back on the couch. If I knew he was just faking his reaction so I would once again have mercy and accept his sorry. My face flushed with red, and I clenched my fist. "Trevor, you idiot, I'm not married to you!" Back in the day, when we were so much in love, we fill in a marriage contract as a joke, but we never give it to a civil registrar, that's also the time I give myself to him knowing that he's sure about building a future with me. But this jerk hid so well in sheep's clothing, he left me alone after using me, now I have Levi and was stressed forever. "Sulli, I think that you forgot you have to work." In the marriage certificate , we have two witnesses signed–Lucia and her soon-to-be husband, we have prepared all the requirements and was hidden in a brown envelope, I thought I
~ Triton Perez, better known as Tripp was Trevor's best buddy in law school, I was oblivious that we have the same criminal law subject so when I was about to go out of the lecture room after the class, I bumped into him. "Oh, you're Sulli, right? Lucia's new roommate?" I did a once-over at him and frowned. "Do you know her?" He smiled and pulled me out softly away from the door because apparently, I'm causing a nuisance because I'm blocking it. "So you knew her." He gave me a knowing smile and extended his hand. "You can call me Tripp then, I'm her brother's best friend." My mind made a ding sound after he told me his name. How could I forget? He's the one who got almost perfect scores on every exam and answered the recitations effortlessly and with dates of the provisions, who authored it, and even those who cited it. He had such a big brain, and he was taking law school like it was some sort of a stroll in the beach."Hi, why did you call me then?" I'm not 'yet' the new roomm
"Let's have coffee some time, and please moved to the apartment I reserved for you. All my teachers are living there, I don't want someone to be left behind."... And so I needed to pack our things again and move to the high-end apartment Tripp said. "Oh, Sulli! Hi boy!" Candice welcomed us in front. It was an apartment complex, and I saw familiar faces once the taxi dropped us. Some teachers and faculty members greeted me, and maintenance were living in here too.Candice helped us get our bags and into my assigned apartment. We need to get on the elevator, and alike doors and bricked walls welcomed us, only the numbers on the side and the electric doorbell differs. "Your apartment is 707." Candice dropped off the bag in front of apartment 707 and said she needed to go now because her boyfriend was waiting at the mall for her. I thanked her, and she went off, Levi waved goodbye and I punched the password on the door before it opened. "Wow, this is much bigger than the previous apar
~"I'm going now, bye, Sulli." Lucia waved at me, and I followed her with my gaze until she closed the door. I'm finally the new roommate of Lucia! I feel so grateful, Lucia's been so kind to me, and we agreed that every other week, I needed to cook breakfast while she did the other. There's a laundry shop on the other street, but we have our laundry room if I wanted to do my laundry, and then I found a job as an assistant staff in a congress so I could at least pay for our food expenses and treat Lucia from time to time. I couldn't afford this luxurious 'apartment' even in my dream, but I suddenly got it by just talking with Lucia, rent-free. So I decided to water the plants on the balcony after Lucia went to school. Then I cleaned the living room and kitchen, but when I was in the middle of brushing the tiles in the bathroom, the door suddenly rang. I put down my gloves and wondered if it was another delivery Lucia had that she forgot to tell me about, I was getting my wallet so
~"So, we need to pack at least two pairs of bikinis, slippers, sunglasses, and a hat, and sunscreen oh my don't forget about that!" Lucia was counting on the things she had to bring with her fingers. I exhaled and put some clothes I find appropriate for the beach in my bag. "Lucia, why are you inviting me to come?" Lucia looked up at me and pressed her lips together, giving me the impression that one more question about this and she would really be annoyed. But I couldn’t help it, I couldn't believe that one month into being Lucia's roommate and friends with her brother would make me already suitable for their summer vacation. They're tagging me along on the beach. "Isn't that what my brother and I wanted? Staying here alone is boring. Besides, it's a long weekend, and it's our private island so we can do what we want!" Lucia's excitement was evident, I still can't believe this was happening, though. When we arrived at the airport, she told me that Tripp was coming too and her tw
"We've arrived," Tripp announced. It's a weekday, and Levi's excited to go out, but we have to go to Lucia's house first for the seamstress to get his measurements. I'm not going to have any part at the wedding, but Levi does, so the more reason I can't decline Lucia. She's been nothing but kind to me from the start, and I'm ashamed of myself for trying not to attend her wedding. We've arrived at one of the mansions of the Clarks. I forced myself to be here and believed that I was doing this for Lucia. "Ma, can you hold this for me?" One thing I liked about my son as he was addicted to cars, trucks, and trains instead of the company of his father, which was airplanes. Now that differentiated them more a bit. I happily held the toy cars and told him he could go together with Tripp while I arranged the stuff in my bag. The owner of the school was so nice that he could become the driver of his teachers. But really, he just saw us missed our bus so he drove us to the mansion. That'
"Hey Sulli, marry me?" I opened my eyes and a ring was right in front of me. Trevor was holding it while he was kneeling on one knee. Was he proposing again? Right. I don't know how many times he has done this, but I know where it started– on our great times years ago, the first time he proposed.It was my third year in law school and Lucia was working hard just to get her degree, they've done the pinning ceremony and chose to work in a hospital far away, ignoring their chain of hospitals that would probably treat her like a princess.Lucia was far from being a princess, or so that's what she thought, I think the opposite, I still think she was, sometimes I envy her for having lived with a diamond spoon despite being not born as one. To be sent far away was Lucia's decision, oblivious to the fact that I'd live alone in her apartment if ever, but the days flew by so fast and we started our journey. A week later, Trevor came in
When afternoon came, I got the chance to walk away from Trevor because his secretary calling him on something.I happily walked him to the exit of the hospital. "Are you sure you can go home on your own?" Trevor asked, full of worry, his eyes glanced at my left hand where they put the needle of the IV drip and has a small patch now."Oh," I hit him lightly on his shoulders and proceeded to the exit door. "Don't worry, I can manage, I'll go home on my own." I smiled, reassuring him that everything would be fine, but really, at the back of my head, I was planning my guise on how to talk to Damien and told him that he just misdiagnosed me. "Okay? You can ask our driver to pick you up here." "No, no, no," I waved my hand and noticed a black car stopped in front of us and a man in black bowed and opened the backseat. "Don't bother the driver, Trevor, I can go home on my own, I'm an adult now, what do you treat me for? A five-year-old?" I bit my lip to suppress my laughter behind my i
"Don't you need to be early at your work?" I asked after he parked the car in front of the bakery and unbuckled his seatbelt as if he were going with me to the bakery. "Who said? Sulli, do you think I work?" he replied and opened the car's door. I was in awe, but I followed and he opened the car door for me and helped me get out of the car. "Where do you get your billions then?" I can't help but inquire. It's nice that we have something to talk about when driving here, even if it's just gossip about another person, it feels nice. I feel like a wife talking about anything with his husband. Few people were entering and going into the bakery, it was a small one, in front was the shop, and at the back was I guess their house. "No, it's definitely on quadrillion now. Don't believe in the search results online." The conversation was still ongoing. I scoffed and he slid open the door. "You're bluffing me right now."The f
A gentle rendition of an upbeat song was playing in the four corners of the room. Multi-colored lights were dancing together with the disco ball in the middle. Tripp and Trevor finally settled on the huge couch but were now having a drinking session. After Tripp said that Trevor was so pissed, he pulled me away from Tripp before he could touch me. Now, he wants to smack the hell out of Tripp but wasn't able to do so because I'm watching them. I'm sitting at the far end of the couch enjoying a cocktail. "Dude, may I remind you, you had a six-year relationship with another girl! What are you saying?" Trevor started strong by drinking a glass of rum and looking at Tripp with furious eyes. I frowned at him and placed down my drink, trying to warn him not to lay a finger on poor drunk Tripp. The butler informed us that Tripp had been waiting for a couple of hours. It's obvious that he was drunk already and was not in his right mind. "Uughh," Tripp groaned, "I don't care about that, S
The dinner at a three-star restaurant went well. He ordered different foods after scolding him not to order the whole menu because we're not going to finish it anyway, we do have separate take-outs for the people in the house, and that's enough. I don't have much appetite these days anyway, and Trevor unfortunately noticed that. "Why are you not eating much? Finish what's on your plate. Are you sick?" Trevor frowned. Our round table had a big window that overlooked a great view of the man-made pool, we're on the top floor of the restaurant, which was situated around a chain of hotels that I'm not surprised was owned by him. I bet even this restaurant, one word from him, and then every server was agitated. I made a face at him and forced a smile. "I'm not. What are you saying?" He did not reply instead he studied me for a while, my son's in my peripheral vision enjoying his food, he's beside his father which I find annoying but it's more convenient that way, sooner or later he ha
"How come Miss Tomoya is so close to the president of the school?" I had to wait behind the cubicle door when I heard two girls having a conversation while retouching their make-up in the sink. "Don't you know? She's a slut! A man-hungry woman who can't live without boys, I heard she already has a son but still dares to snake our president." From the little creek of the cubicle, I squinted my eyes and saw two teachers in their tight-fitting uniforms applying lipstick and mascara while looking in the mirror. My heart squeezed like someone purposedly did so. I never gave that a thought, I thought it was just a trivial matter because I knew that was not true. It's not true, of course, I'll be kind to Tripp because he's also kind and nice.I don't nicely treat people just because they're higher than me, I treat people based on how they treat me. I received kindness from him, it's natural to return that kindness. Unlike these poor teachers who don't know I'm in one of the cubicles bef
People say you can't bring back the past, all you can do is accept it and move on, but they forget that you can reminisce then cry over it and regret it until you become numb all over. Just like what I did last night, after our conversation, my thoughts kept me up all night. I slept in the guest room, and I still don't have the willpower to feel at ease; I still feel awkward and uncomfortable. I guess this was what I reaped after all these years: I don't deserve to be happy. The result of overthinking last night was that I hadn't slept even a wink. I arrived at school in the earliest as possible and sunk my nose into whatever work time put me. Being a teacher wasn't my plan at all, but it was written as my third choice in my college application, so maybe I did add it to my plan. So when I was studying education, I was at a loss, because that's not really what I wanted to study, but then again, after I had my degree, I aimed to be at law school, I pushed my luck and called myself th
"Don't deny it, it's written all over your face."Trevor was so close that I got lost, his eyes gleamed as I nodded in agreement. I admit it, no need to consider my pride, it would end with me nowhere in the picture anyway. "Really?" Trevor pushed back a little and stared at me in awe, "You're not denying it?" "There's no need for that," I said and squirmed in my seat, trying to make up some space. It's been so long, Trevor and I have known each other since college, we've learned about each other, fallen in love then fell out of love. I'm not the same immature and childish girl as before, I'm a mom now, and I should take responsibility and I'm going to die, I think it's the right time to set things in their right places, so that when I leave, Levi won't be alone. The thought humbles me, and with all the nice people I'll leave soon flashed through my mind. I guess it would be a shame if I don't give them a nice memory of me at least. "Say, Trevor, since we're at that," I mumbled
"But I don't feel anything weird, doc?" Why do I sense that they're all trying to persuade me into something that would make me feel ashamed of myself?"Here, take this Sulli." Damien got his business card and gave it to me with a smile. "You can call me anytime if you want assurance." I can't help but think there's a hidden meaning behind his last sentence. I looked at his business card just to avoid looking at him. "Ms. Tomoya, if you want we can run some tests again, and maybe have an understanding of your disease, after all, I'm a great oncologist." Doctor Rea beamed. My eyes lit up and I wanted to hug Doctor Rea right then and agree but my peripherals caught a glimpse of Damien looking so gloomy. I'm not one to trample on the pride of others, especially if it's right. For sure, Damien didn't become a doctor easily, he had to build brick by brick the title he has now, and it's going to look so bad if I asked Doctor Rea for a second opinion in front of him. I have to lower m