Chapter Thirty-three: Didn't See That Coming...

Lillianna’s Point of View

I texted Alex as soon as I was home. His response was kind and caring, urging me to rest and reach out if I needed anything. It would be awesome if I could feel even a shred of affection for him. But he paled in comparison to Xavier, the only one who could ever truly understand me. As my heart ached with longing, I cursed the intense love that bound me to my best friend, an all-consuming force that left no room for anyone else in my life.

I still had the key to his apartment, and a sudden thought crossed my mind. I could surprise Xavier with some of his favorite snacks, and we could spend the evening playing video games like we used to. Or, we could binge-watch something on his streaming service. I checked the time; it was still early in the evening. Hastily, I grabbed my purse and made my way to the door. Before I could step out, my phone started to ring, and a smile spread across my face when I saw Xavier's name on the screen. Excitedly, I answered the call.

“Hey! I heard that you were back! Welcome home!” I tried to sound genuine, pretending I didn’t know about his plans with Rei.

“Thanks. It was an intense few weeks. How are you?” Xavier asked.

He sounded tired and weary like something was on his mind and troubling him. Was he having second thoughts about dating Rei? I could only hope.

“I’ve missed you. Alex and I have been spending quite a bit of time together. He’s nice,” I said, hoping for some kind of reaction.

Would Xavier be curious? Would he be jealous? Would he even care?

“I didn’t think he was your type,” Xavier offered flippantly.

“He’s great in bed,” I added quickly before cringing. Desperate much? Fuck. I needed to do this with more finesses.

“Do you like hanging out with him, though?” Xavier prodded, sounding more interested. Now we were getting somewhere, I smiled to myself.

“I can’t see myself being with Alex long term, but I’m enjoying myself. He doesn’t seem to have any complaints,” I smirked.

Xavier laughed, but it sounded forced. I faltered for a moment. Why did this conversation sound strained?

“I was wondering if we could meet for coffee in a few days. Are you on assignment, or would you be free?” my best friend asked.

I wasn’t on assignment. Aamon hadn’t given me anything for weeks, and I was frustrated. Xavier didn’t need to know that. I tried my best never to complain to him.

“I’m good. Are you sure you didn’t want to get together sooner?” I asked hopefully, slowly edging toward the door ready to go as soon as he agreed to company.

“No, I’m going to be busy. The last few weeks took their toll on me. I’m not sure if I want to continue with my government job,” Xavier sighed.

That was unexpected. Xavier had enjoyed the lucrative job, the benefits and the hours he worked. My best friend rarely got called in for an extended period, but that happened when they needed him. Xavier was the best in the agency, though. Even my side of the law knew that.

“Thinking of switching sides?” I teased and there was silence on the other end.

"Xavier, is everything alright?" I asked, growing more concerned by the second.

"I'm fine, just a bit exhausted. How about we plan to meet for coffee on Tuesday or Wednesday? What time would work best for you?" Xavier's voice sounded strained as he spoke.

My heart raced at the thought of seeing him again, but I didn’t want to show my excitement. We typically hung out in the early afternoon, so sticking with our usual routine would be best. That way, it wouldn’t seem out of the ordinary.

“How about 2? We could meet at Tim’s,” I suggested, trying to make my voice sound chipper.

“Thanks, Lillianna. That would be great. I’ll see you then. I’m going to unpack and chill out in my own space,” Xavier responded.

Xavier had deliberately avoided telling me about his date with Rei. I couldn't understand why he was keeping it a secret. I finally said: "I heard you are going on a date with Rei from Alex."

"Yes, we have plans. I want to see her again," Xavier responded in a monotone voice.

“I assumed it was just going to be a ride, and you wouldn't chase after her,” I said, the sharpness in my tone evident.

"That was my initial intention. I love her, Lillianna. You know that," Xavier replied with a gentle voice.

“You don’t love her, Xavier. You’re obsessed with the idea of her! You've been obsessively following Rei Draven for over ten years like a clingy, lovesick puppy. Too afraid to ever make a move. What's changed?" I sneered, no longer able to contain my resentment.

“Lillianna, I know how I feel,” Xavier said gently.

“What about us? You can’t keep sleeping with me if you are in a relationship with Rei,” I shouted.

Xavier's voice was soft and apologetic as he spoke, his words carefully chosen so as not to hurt me. "I wanted to wait until we met for coffee, but I realize I can't keep this from you any longer. Lillianna, I don't see a future for us. We had sex, but that's all it was meant to be, just a quick and satisfying fuck. I know you have feelings for me, but I only see you as a friend. I hope you can understand and move on." His gentle tone and sincere expression conveyed the message clearly - he wasn't interested in anything more than friendship.

“And what if I can't?" I hissed, my words laced with the acidic rage that burned within me.

“Then I think it’s best if we let each other go. Maybe that is what we should do anyway, Lillianna. That’s what I was going to tell you when we met for coffee. I’m grateful for the friend you’ve been to me, but our lives are headed in different directions. Matt and Tom feel the same way, too,” Xavier stated firmly yet kindly.

“What the fuck, Xavier!?!” my heart shattered as I screeched.

“You disappear for a couple of weeks, and suddenly, you want nothing to do with me, and neither does Matt and Tom. How the hell is any of this going to work out? They're hooking up with Sam and Chloe, and I'm dating Alex. And now you're planning on dating Rei, too? How are we supposed to be around each other in this mess?” I erupted in a fit of fury, feeling utterly betrayed and destroyed by their actions.

“It’s not going to be an issue. Sam and Chloe aren’t your biggest fans, Lillianna. They know you are not serious about Alex and don’t want you to break his heart,” Xavier replied. "They don't want to be around you either."

My mind was reeling. I never saw this coming, not at this moment. Losing Xavier, Matt, and Tom felt like a gut punch. These were the people I considered my closest friends.

“What am I supposed to do with the key to your apartment?” I huffed.

“Keep it, toss it, I don’t care. I’ve already had the locks changed,” Xavier replied.

“So this is it? After more than a decade of friendship, you’re throwing me away like garbage because you suddenly have Rei Draven?” I snarled, my voice dripping with venom.

“No, Lillianna. The guys and I have been talking about this for a while now. It was getting too complicated once your feelings for me came into play. We can't continue like this. We can't even be friends anymore,” Xavier's words were like daggers piercing my heart.

"You'll regret this," I seethed before slamming the phone, feeling betrayed and abandoned by the one person I thought would always be there for me.