Chapter Eighty-five: Always There For Me, Riding Into The Unknown

Rei’s Point of View

Xavier's proposal took me completely by surprise, and I could see the hope in his eyes as he waited for my answer. It was all happening too quickly; I couldn't handle this right now. My mind and heart were still reeling from the revelation that I was not who I thought I was and that my entire life had been a lie. My grandfather was gone, and I've found it in my heart to forgive my best friend, boyfriend, and stepbrother, but a marriage proposal? Not now. Everything started to blur as my emotions overwhelmed me, and then everything went black.

I opened my eyes and wasn’t in Aamon’s living room anymore. I was in the open field that I would often dream about the last ten years with X. He looked at me sadly and opened up his arms for me to rush into them.

"You realize that wasn't how he planned to propose, right?" X said.

I nodded, unable to find the words to respond. Even in this strange dream-like state, I couldn't seem to speak.

"Do you know why you couldn't give Xavier an answer?" X asked.

I shook my head, knowing there was more to it than just feeling overwhelmed. There was a thought in my heart that I didn't want to admit out loud. Saying it would make it real and I just couldn't handle that right now. My mind was already fragile enough as it was.

"It's okay. Do you want to go for a ride like we used to?" X offered.

Once again, I couldn't find the words to respond, so I simply nodded.

I accepted the helmet X handed me, settled onto the seat behind him on his motorcycle, and held onto X as he sped off down the familiar rural road. This was not a road in my hometown; it was somewhere I had only visited in my dreams of X. For the first time, I wondered where exactly we were, but my exhaustion and overwhelming emotions prevented me from asking. In truth, I didn't want to know.

X gently grasped my hand, giving me the same reassurance and support he always had. He had been by my side when I rode on the back of Xavier's motorcycle and in the hospital room with my grandfather as I struggled to keep it together and be strong for everyone. I couldn't comprehend how he could be there for me in those moments, but then again, not much about my life made sense anymore, did it?

As we drove, the wind pressed against us with such force that it almost felt like it was trying to lift us off the ground, almost as if it wanted to give us wings to fly.

I knew I couldn’t give in to my fears and doubts. I had to take things one day at a time and figure out how to navigate this new life forced upon me. Could I still work? Was it even safe for me to do so while Lillianna and Xavier's dangerous former friends were still out there, trying to hunt me down? What about my children? Would they even be able to attend school now? And what about Xavier? Were we living together now simply due to our forced proximity? What would happen if I accidentally dreamed of X while sharing a bed with Xavier? It wasn't something I ever intended, but how could we make this arrangement work?

To his credit, X did not try and talk to me. He just drove and, every once in a while, reached down to squeeze my hand gently. It felt so real, now and when I was awake. Wait… I don’t remember going to sleep. How am I here right now? What happened?

“You fainted, Rei. Xavier proposed to you and was waiting for you to give him an answer and you collapsed. You are okay, don’t worry. Grace is sitting with you, and Xavier and Aamon are having a much-needed conversation. One that should have taken place a decade ago. If it had, your lives would have been much different,” X sighed.

I could hear him through the Bluetooth communication system in the helmets.

“How do you know all of this?” I asked X before I could stop myself.

“I don’t think you are ready for the answer to that yet,” X answered, his voice sounding very sad.

“I’m glad you are here, and I’m with you,” I said softly.

“I know Rei. I love you too,” X said an immense sadness in his voice.

I’d never stopped to consider, really consider, how my relationship with Xavier affected X. I never thought X was real and yet… how could I deny that he was now? My brain hurt trying to make sense of this.

"I'll be stopping soon. There's a place I want to take you," X said, his voice betraying uncertainty, which was uncharacteristic. He was usually so self-assured and confident about everything.

“Okay,” I said softly.

We arrived at a secluded area surrounded by trees, and X parked his bike near an old-fashioned cabin. After turning off the engine, he got off and motioned for me to do the same. A fire pit was set up with a small fire crackling, and two Adirondack chairs were placed nearby. X sat down and buried his head in his hands; it was a side of him that I had never witnessed before.

Sitting down beside him, I placed my hand on his shoulder in a gesture of comfort. Suddenly, he reached out and pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me. Resting my head against his chest, I could feel the rapid beating of his heart.

"Do you know that you're meant to be with Xavier?" X asked, his voice strained and filled with pain.

I didn't verbally respond, but I nodded. Deep down, I knew it was true without a doubt. There was no questioning it. Yet, I couldn't understand what exactly connected X and me. It was something concrete yet never clearly defined.

"You have to leave soon, but can I hold you for now?" X pleaded.

Once again, words failed me, and I simply nodded my head.

"Thank you, Rei. Let me pretend for a little while that you belong only to me," X whispered as he kissed me gently.