Chapter 1-Pain

" Liam......"

Huminto ako nang makarinig ako ng boses ng babae sa loob ng opisina ni Liam.Dahan-dahan kong pinihid ang bahagyang nakabukas na pinto ng kanyang opisina, marahil ay nakalimutan nilang ilock ito.

" Sssshhh , wag kang maingay Nat...." Ang katagang ito ni Liam ay nagpatindig sa aking mga balahibo.Parang sinasaksak at dinudugo ang aking mga taynga sa oras na ito.

" I want you ,Liam....mmmmm..."

Pain. I felt a stab like pain in my chest as I saw them. Do I really have to witness this right infront of me?This is very painful compared with my illness. Nathalie is sitting on his lap almost half naked while Liam,my hushabd is grasping her waist while their lipsbrush each other.Isn't is awkward to do something awful inside the office?

" Liam, you're makin' me crazy..." Nathalie moaned as his lips brushes down from her neck line down to her chest.

He did'nt response, instead he slowly unbutton Nathalie's top.I can't believe I am seeing this. I covered my mouth, for I might gasp because of desperation.

Liam is my husband.Bagong kasal pa lamang kami at kamakaylan lamang ay ipinagdiwang namin ang aming unang taong anibersaryo.Akala ko ang pagpapakasal ay parang isang Fairytale pero ang pangyayari ngayon sa harapan ko pa mismo ay guguho sa pangarap ko na isang pagmamahalan na kagaya ng mga nakikita ko sa mga palabas.

I felt broken and at the same time, I felt betrayed by someone I trusted for so many years. Akala ko nang magpakasal ako sa kanya ay hindi na ako malulungkot at masasaktan pero may mas isasakit pa pala.

Marrying him is a scam.I slowly closed the door composed myself.I decided to walk away from them.This is not the right place to cry, I don't have to be miserable. Madali akong umalis sa opisinang  iyon, ayaw kong makita ng mga empleyado niya  na umiiyak ako.Maybe they already knew the thing between him and his mistress?Bakit pa ba ako gagawa ng eksena? Para saan pa ang aking panunumbat? Malapit na akong mamatay.

I am diagnosed with brain tumor a month ago and its on its terminal stage already.I don't have any reason to confront Liam and neither Nathalie because death is my end game and livin' happily ever after with Liam is already impossible.

" Aalis na po ba kayo, Mrs .Montealto?" Cley asked me with a confusing tone. He is the oldest securiy guard who works in Liams company.

I just nodded in response. All my energy wanes with what I saw inside the office. I hurriedly walk towards the parking lot and drove my car towards the cemetery. I usually visit my parents grave every monday. They died in a car accidentwhen I was in college. It was Liam who helped me cope up with the depression from my parent's death.

" Mom, Dad...malapit na po tayong magkita.Hindi ko na rin po makakayang mabuhay lalo na't may iba na sa puso ni Liam." umiiyak kong sambit sa kanilang puntod.Wala akong ibang masasabihan ng problema.Si Liam lamang ang nag-iisa kong kakampi, best buddy and my protector simula nang mawala ang aking mga magulang.Kung wala siya,wala rin ako. I am useless and worthless without him.

And Nathalie?How could she do this to me?I treated her as my sister kasi best friend siya ni Liam mula pagkabata.I thought all the goodness she showed me is real,pero isa pala siyang traydor.Parehas lamang sila ni Liam.

Two months ago, she keeps on sending me foods that she insisted me to eat.Knowing that she is a dietician, I followed her advice believing that those foods will easily make me conceive for it helps to boost fertility.Sinunod ko ang payo niya pero hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako nabubuntis. Ang mas masaklap pa ay nagkaroon pa ako ng Tumor, a terminal stage tumor.

Napagtanto ko na ang mga kabaitang ipinapakita niya sa akin ay pawang pambabalat kayo lamang.Gusto lamang niyang kunin sa akin si Liam kaya niya nagawang makipagbutihan sa akin.

I bet they already did more than just kissing.Since when?Before or after I knew about my illness? Kailan pa ba nila ako niloloko? Totoo kayang minahal ako ni Liam o napilitan lamang siyang magpakasal sa akin dahil sa awa?

I clenced my fist along with my raging anger inside me.I shouted dreadfully as I feel the pain that doesn't subside. " Dios ko, ano po ba ang ginawa ko sa inyo?Sobra na po ito, hindi ko na siguro makakaya pa ito.Kunin niyo na po ako ngayon....Ayaw ko na pong mabuhay pa..."

" Amaiah!" a woman's voice spoke beneath me. I saw Melinda, an old womanand at the same time caretaker of the cemetery.Nakilala ko siya noong ilibing ang mga magulang ko at sa tuwing bibisita ako sa kanilang puntod ay naroon din ang matanda.May hawak itong walis at nakasuot ng malaking sumbrero sa ulo.

Tumigil ako sa pag-iyak. Ayaw na ayaw kong may makikita sa akin na umiiyak.Aywa kong makita sa mukha nila na kinaaawaan ako.Simula nnag mamatay ang aking mga magulang, pinangako ko sa sarili ko na magiging matatag ako.Crying is indeed a sign of weakness.

" Ano ang problema Amaiah? Huli kitang nakita na umiyak na ganyan ay noong ilibing ang mga magulang mo."malungkot nitong sambit sa akin.Tinanggal nito ang malaking sumbrero sa ulo at ginawa iyong pamaypay .Umupo ito sa aking tabi at mariin akong pinagmasdan.

" W-wala po, namimiss ko lang sila...."I lied.

" Ikaw talagang bata ka, huwag ka nang umiyak...Ang ganda mo pa naman ngayon." nakangiting wika nito.

I smiled but deep within no words can comfort me as of this moment.It bleeds inside me and I don't know if I can still hold on. I suddenly closed my eyes for a while.I frequently felt so dizzy and I think I gonna throw up.The doctor said that this is one cancer's symptoms.It is eating my cells slowly 'til it will leave mr lifeless.It hurts thinking the day that I will leave this world. Gusto ko pa sanang makasama si Liam pero nauna pa siyang sumuko keysa sa aki. He was the one who should comfort me and give me hope pero ang taong pagmumulan ng lakas sa buhay mo ay wala na....may iba na.

I bid goodbye on my parents grave and drive towards home.

I saw somebody on the yard wearing white blouse and white slacks. Lumapit ito sa akin nang makita akong lumabas sa aking kotse.

" Magandang gabi po ,Ma'am. Pinadala po ako ni Dr. Morris to take care of you po.Ako po si Nurse Joan." she politely said.

I just nodded my head for approval.With this kind of illness, I really need someone to take care of me. Someone to monitor me and watch over my medications while my husband is so busy with Nathalie.I got disappointed when Liam is not yet around. It's pass six in the evening . Hindi naman siya ganito dati. Nagbago na talaga siya. Liam changed a lot when Nathalie came back .Hindi na siya ang lalakeng nakilala ko noong College days.Hindi ko maiwasang umiyak ulit kapag iniisip ko ang mga masasayang alaala namin noon.Masaya na sana kami pero noong unang wedding anniversary namin ay bumalik ang bestfriend nitong si Nathalie.Simula noon ay parang naging malamig na si Liam sa akin.

Hating gabi nang maalimpungatan ako pero wala pa rin siya sa tabi ko.I rose from bed and made a tea that Nathalie gave me. a chamomile tea that would made me relax and help me sleep comfortably.I breathe softly as I take the last sip from it. it made me feel better.

Pabalik na ako sa kwarto nang makarinig ako ng yabag. I bet its Liam.

" Still awake dear?" he smiled and kissed me passionately on my forehead. How couls he be such a great actor?" Did you take your meds already?"he asked.

" Yeah, Where have you been? Its really late already!" I managed to hide my trembling voice.Ayaw kong ipahalata sa kanya na alam ko ang tungkol sa kanila ni  Nathalie.I'm afraid that he might leave me alone and choose her.

Sino ba naman ang pipiliin ang isang babaeng malapit nang mamatay?A dying wife between a hot and sophisticated mistress?I don't have any choice but to remain as his good wife.I don,t wanna diein vain.Having him by my side while breathing the last air is all I wanted.Gan'n ko siya kamahal.

" I'm with Mr.Okaido.We talked about business .Hmmm,I know what you're thinking my beautiful wife...I love you then and I love you now,remember it always." He seriously said while holding both of my palm.

"By the way, mag ibinigay pala si Nathalie sa'yo.Iniwan niya kanina sa office.She said this is healthy and you might have a chance to be cured ." he said while handling me two paper bags that he picked from the floor. I saw six bottles of tea with different flavors,same brand with the teas she gave me months ago.