Chapter 8

It has now been four years since Ayame sliced me. The school counselor shocked Andrew and me by showing up and letting me take the exam to finish school early. I did ace it and earned my high school diploma two years early. I am still being beaten by Alpha and Luna, they are just keeping my hands, legs and face free of bruises. When pack members try to throw punches, I dodge and defend myself. They try to tell Luna on me and they are met with silence. Luna does not interfere either way anymore. Most days, I am cooking with broken or bruised ribs. Three days ago, they punctured one of my lungs and had to send me to the hospital. I was in the hospital for two days and got out, thanks to Tasha healing me.

They tortured Ayame for what she did to me, but I guess the lesson didn’t stick. She did the same thing a year later. Alpha executed her that time. I guess you don’t get between Alpha and his food. Tasha was shocked that they did that, but she also made sure to tell me they weren’t doing it for me. They were doing it to save their favorite cook. Nothing more. I agreed, so we never did have false hope. I had no delusions that these people want me around for any other reason than the food I make. I guess cooking saved my life and reduced the severity of the beatings for me. Now I just needed to learn how to control my mouth. I had no filter and that was the reason I would still get any kind of beatings. It’s one thing to say what I think to pack members. It’s a totally other thing to say what I think to the Alpha and Luna. Unfortunately, this was a lesson I was still learning.

Tonight, is my sixteenth birthday and Alpha and Luna know I’m supposed to shift tonight. They think it’s the first time, so Tasha and I have agreed that we need to make it look like the first shift. Everyone was planning to be outside for my shift so they could make fun of my wolf. When the time came, we all walked outside while I was wearing tear-away clothes. I stood in the center of a large circle of people and Luna Kate told me it would go easier if I were to lie down and let Tasha do the work. I nodded and laid down on the ground and soon, my bones started popping and breaking while they rearranged themselves and my nose started to elongate into a snout. I looked at my hands and claws started forming from my nail beds. I started screaming as I remembered the pain of hairs protruding from every pore in my skin. The burning sensation was almost too much to bear. When my paws were done forming, I stood up and everyone outside was just staring at me with their eyes wide. I was enormous. The only wolf bigger than mine was Alpha’s and I was really proud of that.

All of the people outside shifted and Alpha Ben howled. We all howled in response and he took off running. We all followed and Tasha was having a blast feeling like she was part of the pack. She was loving the run and the feeling of freedom when we all went back to the house. When we got there, we all let out one more celebratory howl, then shifted back. Luna Kate handed a robe to me, “Your wolf is huge.” I smiled, “Thank you. I’m not really sure why.” She asked, “Have you been talking with the Goddess?” I nodded, “I have. She just tells me I must go through all these trials. I’m not sure why.” She asked, “You aren’t planning to run away, are you?” I shook my head, “No. Not at all.” She patted my shoulder, “Good. That’s the last thing we want.”

I walked to the pack house and Tasha started telling me, “You know, now that she knows we have our wolf, we are going to have to keep a close eye out for wolfsbane.” I replied, “I know, but at least we know what it smells like now. We can keep watch for it.” She nodded, “We will do that. I have a question.” I asked, “What is that?” She replied, “Was it my imagination or was there only one wolf bigger than me?” I laughed, “That was not your imagination. I’m not sure why, but we are bigger than everyone except Alpha. I really hope they don’t see this as a threat.” She answered, “If they do, we’ll have to deal with it.” I agreed and we went up to our room to go to bed.

For the next two months, Tasha and I were extremely careful with everything we put in our bodies. We didn’t want to ingest anything that would disable her and render me unconscious. We did very well at it too. One day, Luna Kate asked, “How are you avoiding all the wolfsbane?” I laughed, “So you are admitting to trying to disable my wolf?” She sneered, “She needs to be disabled. You could easily overpower me.” I laughed, “It has been two months since I shifted in front of you and yet I haven’t even tried. Did it dawn on you that I know what will happen if I try something so stupid?” She shrugged and I added, “I have no desire to be put back in the dungeons or to be whipped.” She nodded, “Okay, then I will stop trying. I would like to know how you avoid it though.” I replied, “I would prefer not to say, as I know it will be used against me.” She nodded, “You’re probably right.” She walked away and I was relieved.

Tasha asked, “How many ways of wrong did that conversation feel?” I chuckled, “Too many. I’m hoping she’s not planning anything.” She agreed, “Me too.” I got back to work on supper and started my dough for cinnamon rolls for breakfast tomorrow morning. I love working with dough, because it lets me take out my aggressions without hurting anyone in the pack. I was rolling out my cinnamon roll dough, a little too aggressively, when Gabrielle walked up behind me, “Are we having a rough day?” I jumped as she startled me, “No different than any other day. You would think I would be used to it by now.” She asked, “What do you mean?” I replied, “Luna Kate just admitted she has been trying to dose me with wolfsbane.” I told her about the entire conversation and she acted surprised at Luna’s boldness, “She isn’t even trying to keep your abuse a secret from the pack anymore, is she?” I shook my head, “Nope. She only keeps other packs from seeing me because she doesn’t want me to find my mate.” Gabrielle shook her head, “That’s ridiculous. I’m sure we have someone in the pack who can cook. Hell, I can cook.” I laughed, “I know. They just think it’s my job to make them happy now.” She and I rolled our eyes at the same time and laughed, quietly, to keep Luna from hearing.

As soon as I was done in the kitchen, and cleaned up my mess, I walked upstairs and fell onto my bed, face down. After laying there for a minute, I decided to take a shower and get ready for bed. After my shower, I put on my pajamas and laid down. As soon as I did, someone quietly knocked on my door. I got up to see who it was and opened the door just a crack. Gabrielle whispered, “Let me in, please.” I smiled as I opened the door wider, allowing her to come in. I sat on my bed while she sat on my desk chair and she asked, “Are you planning on running away soon?” I replied, “I probably won’t do anything until after my eighteenth birthday. If I don’t find my mate before then, I won’t even be able to get a place to live before I’m eighteen. Why?” She replied, “When you do, I want to come with you. Doug and Andrew do too.” I nodded, “We can all set it up when it’s time.” I smiled, “I would like that. I hope my mate is a ranked wolf. Maybe I can ask him to bring all of you with me.” She smiled, “I would like that. None of us want to be under an Alpha and Luna who could be as cruel as they have been to you.” I sighed, “Thank you.”

Gabrielle stood up and smiled, “I’m going to go now. You get some sleep. I’ll lock the door on my way out.” I smiled at her, “Thank you.”