Chapter 3

                            

Brandon

I hear a knock on the door as I lay here on the couch, letting this loneliness and guilt eat away at me. I frown over at the door wondering who could it be, no one comes here. Maybe those who are looking for me has finally found me, but I doubt that they'll be patient enough to stand on the other side of the door and knock.

I get up from the couch and walk over to the door to see who's there.

The second the door opens her scent hit me like a moving train. My wolf pushes forward and I'm unable to move as I stare at her face. I didn't get a look at her face the day I saw her at the restaurant, but I imagined how she must look from the things I did see. My imagination didn't do her the justice she deserves. She is much more beautiful than I could ever have imagined.

My mate, she's min...no she's nothing to me. I quickly push away those thoughts as I frown down at her, wondering what she's doing here and how did she find me.

"How did you find me?" I growl out, not wanting her here.

"I...I...." Her mouth opens and closes, unable to get her words out as she stares at the scars that are covering my face. 

My eyes move down to the paper in her hand, seeing the address on the paper. I know Kimberly must have given her that to find me, she's the only person who knows about me finding my mate.

"Leave and don't come here again," I tell her before closing the door.

My breathing picks up as I force myself to walk away from the door, fighting against my wolf as it mentally claws and bites at me to be let out to go after her. I force the wolf back, walking over to the couch taking a seat. I know Kimberly is only trying to help, but I don't need her help. She shouldn't have sent her here.

I don't deserve her as a mate and she shouldn't want someone like me as a mate. I'm no good for her. The only thing I have to give her is the shame and burden of what I've done. My burden is not hers to carry. I did those thing and I will carry the shame of what I did alone.

I don't want her. 

I don't want a mate. 

She saw the mark on my face, now she sees the monster I am. Now she should know why I walked away from her. It's not her, it's me. I'm no good for her. 

I use to think about how things would be once I found my mate. How happy I would make her. How I would love her more than anything. But now I can't do any of that. How can I make her happy when all I can give her is banishment? No one will want anything to do with her the second they find out that I'm her mate. They will judge her for what I've done.

I did this, I caused all of this.

I was too blinded by my jealousy and I didn't think about the pain I will cause everyone by doing what I did. My jaws clench down, angry with myself. Why did I do this, why couldn't I just accept the way things were. They were that way for a reason, but my jealousy made me overlook all of that. 

Jason was the firstborn and was next to lead as alpha, so of course, people would give him more attention, he was going to be their next alpha. Of course, my father would show him more attention, he had to prepare Jason to lead the pack next. But instead of looking at reason, I decided that I wanted what Jason had, but none of it really mattered once I finally had it. I didn't get the satisfaction that I thought that I would have got by getting the attention that Jason had gotten his whole life.

All I did was caused people pain and disappointed my family.

I sit here on the couch, letting the guilt and shame of what I've done eat away at me. 

I frown as I picture her face in my head. I saw the way she looked at me in horror and disbelief as she stared at the scars on my face. 

Good, now she sees the monster I am. Now she can stay away and go on with her life.