Mixed Memories

“Dawn? You’re up?” A woman’s voice pierced the silence.

She jolted. Her neck whipped as she turned to see the woman dressed in sleeping attire.

She searched the girl’s memories. Anita Flores. The family’s house helper. Maid.

Although she had grown up in a biracial family in the past, she has never experienced being waited on by a maid. Back then, her mom managed the household and assigned chores to her and her siblings. At 18 years old, she was able to move out and rent her own apartment. Their family is of the middle-class but as her dad had always reiterated, why would they need to hire a maid if they could do it themselves.

Here, it would seem, average families could still afford and usually would opt to have a helper, even if the husband is the sole breadwinner and the wife stays at home.

At present, even with this girl’s dad gone, they could still afford to keep a helper.

They may be called as such but they were treated like distant relatives. Even this girl would call the woman ‘big sister’.

At that moment, Anita squinted her eyes at the girl sitting on the sofa looking bewildered.

“Big sister? Yeah. I had a nightmare. I couldn’t go back to sleep.” She spoke in the same language and local dialect as them. Fortunately, her mother’s side of the family spoke the same dialect as the girl. ‘If only I had practiced it more than just to get through the short conversations.’

Anita looked at the girl strangely. ‘Why is she speaking with an accent? What’s she playing at now?’

She forced a yawn. “I’m going to sleep now. ‘Night.” She made sure to sound more like a local instead of someone with an American accent.

Anita nodded. ‘Eh? Did it go back to normal? I probably misheard her earlier.’

Dawn brought her glass to the sink and washed it before going back to the room.

This little action made Anita feel like she was sleepwalking all along. ‘How could the spoiled girl wash the glass she used?’

Shaking her head. Her sleepwalking was more possible than the girl washing her own glass.

Anita sighed. ‘I need to get some rest.’

She went back to her own room and laid back down. Turning the light off.

Meanwhile, Dawn also turned the light off in her room, using the moon as her only light source.

She sighed. ‘Will I be able to see them again? I wonder how he is. I hope he didn’t hate me too much for leaving first.’

She shut her eyes closed, tears streamed down her face as she recalled the last moments of her life. Of him begging her not to leave him.

At that stage, she could only make that decision to relieve both of them from any more suffering.

He had put his life on hold for her long enough after she was diagnosed with liver cirrhosis. They had tried to seek treatment for her but it was found too late. They could only make her remaining years as comfortable as possible.

She had thought about it long and hard. It was better for him to start over again rather than waste his time with a dying person

She would hate to be the cause of them losing all financial capacity just to find the best treatment for her. It was all futile anyway.

She could only do one last thing for them. And that was to sign a DNR.

As much as it hurt her to see him suffer in heartache, she could only do what needed to be done. It was time to say goodbye.

Her heart ached as she recalled the memories of when they were together. How she wished she could relive those moments again.

“I miss you, love. I’m sorry for being so selfish.”

She cried herself to sleep that night, dreaming of the times she sat at the dinner table with the whole family, thanking for the gift of life.

That was the last thanksgiving she had before she died on April 20, 2026.

Having been born on January 20, 2000, she was only 26 years old when she passed away.

This girl was born on April 20, 1993. ‘How ironic, the years may be different, but her birthday is my death anniversary.’

‘At this time, I’m not even created yet.'

‘So, this girl is technically older than me.’

This girl would have been 33 years old if she didn’t die in her sleep. But now, it doesn’t matter anymore. Now, she occupied this girl’s body, allowing for her identity to be extended in this lifetime. It was also quite convenient that this girl was also called Dawn Salcedo.

‘Is this why I came to this body? That, and our similar names?’

A sigh escaped as the girl’s memories resurfaced once again, briefing her of everything there was to know in her life.

In the morning, the birds chirped a melody, waking her up from slumber. She covered her eyes as the sun’s glare almost blinded her. She rubbed her eyes.

Stretching her limbs, she stared at the ceiling in a daze. ‘Yup. Still not my room.’

Clambering out of bed, she felt her body sore. The mattress may not be too thin, but it was still a world away from her mattress back in her previous life.

She made up her bed and opened her closet.

Pursing her lips, she scrutinized every piece of clothing inside. Her eyes twitched as she had yet to come to terms with her being back to being a teenager. That meant wearing these shirts with prints of the girl’s favorite movie, anime, and some more out of fashioned clothes in her opinion.

She took out a simple white shirt and blue jeans and took down the towel that the girl had hung by the door. She left the clean clothes on the bed and only took the towel with her.

She opened her bedroom door, creaking open. Everything was still quiet with nobody in sight.

Walking in the direction of the bathroom based on the girl’s memory, she couldn’t help but comment with regards to the state of the house.

Shaking her head in disapproval, she went into the bathroom to take a shower, only for her to jump in shock. 

‘Darn it! Is there no heater here?!’

All of a sudden, she recalled a piece of memory. Of the girl boiling water on the stove and pouring it on the bucket of cold water, mixing it with her hand.

‘Crap.’

She had already taken off her clothes and had already poured water on herself. ‘I’ll just do that next. I guess I have to get through this cold shower today.

She braved the cold and finished her bath as quickly as she possibly could. Wrapping herself with the blanket, she shivered. When she opened the door, the cold air entered, giving her goosebumps, her teeth chattered. She ran towards her room, quickly put on her clothes, and dried her hair.

She went back out to brush her teeth. Her skin should have been smooth as it’s of a young girl’s body.

‘Tsk. Looks like she hasn’t been taking care of herself. What with staying up late at night, not eating healthier foods, not even doing some light exercises, and not grooming herself enough.’

Back then, when she was at this age, she took care of herself. It was only when she came into adulthood and became lost with regard to her career path that she started to neglect herself.

‘I swear, it would be dumb of me if I would repeat the same mistake. This time, I’ll live well.’