Disappointment

“I’m ready~Let’s go, lola?” Dawn took her grandmother’s bag and wore it on her shoulder.

“Okay..Estela! We’re leaving now.” Isidora called out to her daughter.

“Ma, I’ll be back right away..”

“Okay! Hold your grandmother, alright?”

“Yup!”

Dawn was extra careful as she held her grandmother’s arm.

She could feel the bones against the sagging skin. But she didn’t feel repulsed. She only missed her own grandmother who was the same.

She felt the urge to protect a fragile-looking person like Isidora.

“What will you do in the city?” Isidora’s voice was gentle to her ears like a lullaby.

“I have to research something.”

“Research? School didn’t start yet, right?”

“Yeah.There’s something I want to know and I need a computer with internet for it.”

“I see. What time will you be home later?”

“I told mama I’ll be back for lunch. Would you like me to pick you up later?”

“That’s fine too..”

“Alright.. Then I’ll just knock later..”

Dawn dropped Isidors off inside her home. As she was about to leave, her grandmother told her to wait for a while.

“Here.. For your snack. Be careful…” Isidora handed her rolled out cash. Twenty Pesos.”

“Eh?! You don’t have to..”

“Here keep it..” She stuck the cash in her hand.

“Thanks.. Alright, I’m going now.” She leaned and kissed her cheek.

Waving her hand, she locked the door behind her.

She then waited on the highway for any incoming ride.

A few jeepneys and multicabs had stopped by to ask if she was headed to the city.

She waited for the multicab with fewer people inside. 

Wind blew her hair letting it dance against it. Her whole face became cold as wind whipped on it constantly that her cheeks had become numb.

When she was already near the spot she found in the girl’s memories, she took the ten peso coin and knocked on the handlebar with it.

Cling! Cling! Cling!

The multicab gradually stopped. She then handed the coin to the driver through the small hole in the glass partition that separates the passengers and the driver.

“Here’s the payment.”

She then got out of the multicab and went inside the small internet cafe.

The staff there already knows her by name. “Hey big bro.. I’ll do an open time..please.. Thank you!”

“Sure.. go ahead and pick out a computer..”

“Let me use number 4..”

“Okay! No problem..”

Dawn quickly went to the computer she chose as the time had already started counting.

She opened the Internet Explorer and typed in the social networking site that she had used in the past.

The site popped up on the screen and Dawn was at a loss. She puffed her cheeks, looking like a porcupine.

Her own account does not exist as of yet. The girl didn’t have an account on this site as well. The site has just been launched early this year. So not many people know about this yet.

Recalling the girl’s e-mail address and password, she logged onto the girl's account. She then created an account for the girl on that social networking site.

The lowercase blue F flashed before her, giving her an odd feeling.

She then entered the names of every family member she had in her past life. But unfortunately, she couldn’t find any of them.

“They didn’t have an account here yet?” 

'What to do?’

She sighed. Her elbow rested on the table and her cheek on her palm.

She mindlessly clicked on ‘accept’ to whoever was suggested to her by the bot. They were mostly locals or students in the same school.

She then opened the girl’s account in the site slightly older than the previous one.

Glitters, music and anime greeted her. The font styles were different. This was the customized profile of the girl. They could even look for codes to apply to their profiles. It changes the background, font styles and other stuff.

Once again, she typed the names of her family members in the search tab.

This time, she became disappointed.

‘How could they not make a simple account?’

'Hadn't they heard of social media?'

'There's one more.' She remembered a social networking site in the past that were not so popular where the girl is at.

She typed in the website's url. Then she did the same thing, search for her family members.

She didn’t know what else to do. She wanted to see how they are doing. Unfortunately, the result didn't change.

She missed her family tremendously. She knows she couldn’t appear in front of them as she is currently. They would think she is crazy if she’s suddenly going to show up and claim to be related to them.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

But at this point, it was useless. With them having no social media account, she couldn’t even check even a little news about them.

Leaning her back against the seat, her head fell backward. She heaved a long sigh. Her mind 

Since her hope was quickly dashed. She decided to check on something that might lift up her spirits.

She keyed in the words and it soon appeared on the screen.

Her lips curved into a smile. ‘Good. Let’s see if I can join in.’

‘Ack! I need a parent’s ID..’ She cupped her chin in contemplation.

She checked the other sites as well and it was all the same. 

She sighed. ‘It’s fine. Surely she would support me on this.’

Ding!

The notification came from her profile.

[Aria: Are you in the city?]

Dawn stared at the name for a moment. Aria. Aria Arce. One of her friends. She’s one creative and smart girl.

[me: Yup.]

[Aria: Ok. Are you going to come stop by?]

[me: I can’t today. I promised mom I’ll be back home for lunch.]

[Aria: oh okay]

[Valerie: You guys don't want to meet up today?]

Valerie Olmo. She's a timid, humble and smart. She completes the trio.

[me: Why don't we meet up tomorrow?]

[Valerie: Sure!]

[Aria: Yup!]

She opened a different website and typed in the title of the songs that she's always listened to back then. She put on the headphone that was hung on the side.

With her arms on the table, she rested her head on her arms, closing her eyes as she listened to the music.

'I can't believe I need to come to an internet cafe just so I can listen to music from now on.'                                                                                                                                               

After she was done searching online, she closed down all of the tabs.

’If only there was another easy way to check.’

She got up and settled the bill.

She stood outside until a multicab stopped. She entered the vehicle as it drove to her grandma’s house’s address.

Knock! Knock!

Dawn had her head down, her foot making circles in the ground, her hands behind her.

When she saw Isidora, she asked for her hand and let it kiss her forehead as a sign of respect to the elders.

Her grandma  brought her inside.

“Have you eaten yet?”

Isidora asked her as soon as she went inside her house.

“Not yet.” Her voice didn't have the same energy she had that early morning.

“Let’s go then. Your mom probably asked Anita to cook something.”

With that, they locked the door behind them and walked back to the family home.

"Oh! Right on time.. Come!" 

Estela called out to them as soon as they entered. She had instructed Anita to cook some chicken curry.

Isidora put away her bag and washed her hands. Dawn was following closely.

Estela noticed her daughter's somber expression. It was too different than this morning.

"Dawn, what happened to you?"

"Ah? Nothing."

"How could there be nothing with you looking like that?"

Of course there's no way for her to reveal what exactly she was disappointed about. So she decided to tell her the other issue.

"Ma, I want to do something. And I'm going to need your help."

"What is it?"

She then told Estela about it, explaining why her ID is needed.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"How come?"

"What about your school? You're barely hanging on even without the extra activities."

'Oh.' 

"Don't worry Ma. It'll be different this time."

"How so?"

"I will prove to you even on the first quarter that I can improve my grades."

"Then that would be good. If you can, then I would even buy you a computer."

At this thought, Dawn perked up. 'A computer? That would make it convenient.'

"Sure.. on the first quarter, if I can prove it to you, will you lend me your ID?"

"Yes. That's the deal."

"Okay then! Thanks Ma!"

With that, her energy was back. A bright smile appeared on her face, making her glow in happiness.