01| Art

"Art is not what you see, but what you make others see." - Edgar Degas.

-Kimani Trinity Campbell -

I stared intensely at the canvas in front of me, the oil paint still wet and glistening in the dim light of my studio. I was lost in thought, trying to figure out what was missing from the artwork. It was a beautiful piece, depicting the city skyline at night, with the tall buildings lit up like beacons against the dark sky.

Despite all the detail and care I had put into it, I could not shake the feeling that something was missing.

I stood there for what felt like hours while, trying to see the painting from different angles, looking for any flaws or discrepancies. My mind was racing as I thought about all the things I had done right, and all the things I still needed to do.

I had put so much of myself into this painting and was determined to make it perfect.

As I stood there, I immediately realized what was missing was not just a few brush strokes or details. It was something deeper, something that I could not put into words or paint on the canvas.

It was intangible, a feeling and an emotion that I was trying to capture.

I sighed, feeling defeated, and walked over to my easel. I picked up my brush, and without thinking, I started to paint. I let my emotions flow through my brush, let my heart guide my hand, and slowly, the missing piece started to take shape.

I recall picking up a brush for the first time as a child. It was the first time I felt truly connected to the rest of the world. My father was an artist who served as both my mentor and my guide. I would sit in his studio for hours, watching him paint and listening to his stories about the world and its wonders.

I remember how excited I was when I first held the brush in my hand. I'd never felt such a strong connection to anything before, and it was as if the brush was an extension of my soul.

I started painting every day, working on my technique and perfecting my craft. I was fascinated by the way the paint would flow across the canvas, and I was always amazed by the beauty that would emerge from my imagination.

As I grew older, my father would take me to art galleries and exhibitions, showing me the works of some of the greatest artists in the world. I was so inspired by their passion and creativity, I was determined to be like them one day.

Then, I started to create my style, incorporating my own experiences and emotions into my work.

I remember the first time I sold one of my paintings. It was a small piece, but it meant everything to me. I felt like I had finally made it, like I was finally on the path to being a great artist.

I continued to work hard, pouring all my time and energy into my art, and eventually, I gathered a following on social media for my unique style and vivid depictions of life.

Yet no matter how far I have come, I still felt that same excitement and joy every time I picked up a brush. The world of art was magical and full of wonder so naturally, it would always be a part of me.

I am grateful for the-

"Hey, there, Miss Artistic Genius, how's it going?"

I am jolted out of my thoughts by the sound of my roommate's voice.

I turn to face Mirabella, my heart racing from the sudden shock. "You scared the shit out of me!" I said with a laugh, trying to catch my breath.

She was dressed in a simple white t-shirt and denim shorts, her ginger hair was packed into a messy ponytail, and a wide smile lit up her face. "Kimani Trinity Campbell, you have been in here all day!" She exclaimed, her tone playful and teasing.

"But you scared me!"

She chuckled and gave me a mischievous grin. "I just could not resist." She shrugged. "What have you been working on all day? It must be amazing if you have been in here for so long."

I smiled and nodded, feeling a sense of pride as I showed her my latest creation. "It is not finished yet, but I am really happy with how it is coming along." My voice filled with excitement as I spoke.

Bella nodded in approval, admiring the strokes of color and the intricate details of the painting. "It is beautiful!" She complimented. "You have a real talent, Kimani. I cannot believe you have been doing this all day!"

I laugh, feeling grateful for my best friend's support and encouragement. "I just get lost in the world of art sometimes." Shrugging my shoulders I continued. "It is my escape from the monotony of life, you know?"

She nodded, understanding all too well. "I know exactly what you mean." She said.

For the next few minutes, we stared at my canvas.

"Lunch is ready by the way." She announced as I turned back to look at her. She returned my stare with a bright smile.

"What did you make today?" I ask.

"I made us a delicious quinoa salad with roasted vegetables and grilled chicken," she grinned, "and of course, there is a side of garlic bread because what is lunch without some carbs?"

Mirabella Starling was more than just a friend; she was like a sister to me. She had been there for me since I was a struggling artist trying to make a name for myself in the art world. She believed in me and my talent, and she assisted me in developing as an artist and as a person. I was grateful for her unwavering encouragement and support, and I knew I could always count on her. She was a true friend, and I treasured her above all else.

A specialty of hers was how she knew how to make a meal look and taste like a work of art.

I could smell the quinoa salad from the living room. It was a blend of herbs and spices that were perfectly mixed with the roasted vegetables and grilled chicken.

I could not resist her invitation so I followed her to the kitchen where we sat down at the small table by the window, surrounded by plants and flowers.

The garlic bread was golden brown and once the butter made contact with its texture it melted between the layers of soft bread.

We started to eat and talk about our day, as we often did. The meal was delightful, every bite filled my mouth with flavor, and the conversation was light and enjoyable.

Bella was a great listener and a great friend, always there to cheer me up and offer advice. She had an infectious energy and a contagious smile that always brightened up my day. I was grateful to have her in my life and I knew I could always count on her.

When we finished our lunch, she offered to do the dishes, but I insisted on helping her. We worked together, laughing and chatting while cleaning up the kitchen. Our bond was stronger than ever and I felt lucky to have her as a friend.

As we finished cleaning, I hugged her tightly and thanked her for the delicious lunch and for being there for me.

"Shawn is throwing a party this evening. You are coming, right?" She asked as I suddenly felt a wave of annoyance wash over me. I took a deep breath in and tried to keep my cool, but the thought of having to face Shawn and all the memories of our past relationship made me feel sick.

Our relationship had been a tumultuous one, filled with more downs than ups. Shawn was possessive and controlling, always trying to control every aspect of my life. I felt suffocated and trapped. So much so that I often found myself longing for a way out. Despite all of this, I stayed with him for far too long. I was afraid of being alone and I did not think anyone else would want me. Then finally, I had enough and ended things with Shawn because I was ready to start a new chapter in my life.

The only problem was, I had not told Bella yet. She was still under the impression that Shawn and I were together and I did not want to disappoint her. I knew she was looking forward to the party and I did not want to ruin her evening.

I take a deep breath and try to compose myself. "I doubt I will make it to the party," I tried to keep my voice steady. "I am not feeling great and I think I need to rest."

She looks at me with concern. "Are you okay? You look pale. Do you want me to stay home with you?"

I shook my head in denial. "No, no. You should go to the party. I will be fine," I said, forcing a smile.

She was hesitant but nodded. "Okay, but only if you are sure. I will bring you back some food, okay?"

I nodded and watched as she gathered her things to leave the apartment. I could not help, but feel a pang of regret as I thought about the conversation we just had. I should have told her the truth about Shawn and I, but I could not bring myself to do it.

I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes, trying to push the thoughts from my mind. I thought about all the times Shawn had tried to control me, belittle me, and make me feel worthless. I was grateful to be free from that relationship, but I was also sad that I had stayed for as long as I did.

I thought about all the opportunities I missed because of Shawn. I let him hold me back and I let him keep me from living my life to the fullest. I gave up so much for him and now that he was out of my life, I was ready to make up for lost time.

I was determined to start over and make a fresh start. I was going to take control of my life and make the most of every opportunity that came my way. I was going to surround myself with people who loved and supported me, and I was going to live my life with joy and passion.

As I lay there on the couch, I realized that the only person holding me back was myself. I was the only one keeping me from living the life I wanted to live. It was time to let go of the past and embrace the future. With that thought, I sat up and began to make plans for my new future. A future that would be filled with love, happiness, and freedom. I knew that it was not going to be easy, but I was ready for the challenge. I was ready to start over and make a better life for myself.