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56 - RykerIt’s been a week from hell. Well, weeks really, but this one has been the worst by far. She’s in my head and at the forefront of my thoughts at all times. I have had a semi since she came storming into my office demanding to run our first day here. I couldn’t even get off with anyone who tried, and they tried really, really hard. I don’t think I have ever had this much pent up energy in my entire life.My wolf and I had a huge fight the first time I let a woman go down on me since bringing Kennedy home. He was so pissed that while her brunette curls were bobbing up and down on my c*ck and I was picturing my mate’s blonde silky strands draped over me, he started planting images in my head of old men, gnarled old wolves and my mother just to kill the mood completely. Then he laughed for hours after. I just pulled the she-wolf off me and walked out and left her very confused and sitting in the middle of the floor while I had a limp d*ck dangling in between my legs.I have b
57 - KennedyI may not be able to do anything about the caveman behavior Ryker is throwing at me right now, or my traitorous body’s reaction to it, but that doesn’t stop me from trying. I keep pounding on his back and just yell nonsense trying to get him to put me down. It is also helping me pretend to not notice the absolutely toned, naked muscle flexing and moving under me. I notice there are no tan lines. I have half a mind to smack his ass and see what happens. Would it jiggle at all? I shake my head. I’m not doing a very good job ignoring him. I’m not su*cidal though and I can not guarantee he won’t throw me back into the woods and leave me there.He hasn’t said a word to me the whole walk back, and it wasn’t a short walk. I may have a bruise on my hip from his shoulder digging in. I keep trying to pry my legs apart, he has them clamped together and that and the motion of his shoulder is giving my cl*t the rubdown of a lifetime. I may come just riding his shoulder like this. He
58 - KennedyI leaned up against the glass trying to gain my breath and the use of my legs. Why have the two best s*xual encounters of my life been with a man who has barely touched me? When I regain the use of my legs and my senses, I strip and grab my favorite vibrator and get in the shower. Part of me hopes he hears it and part of me is embarrassed that he got to me so easily and really doesn’t want to inflate his ego.After three rounds of imagining all the different ways I could take Ryker in the shower, my body was finally spent. It’s amazing how vivid my imagination is when he is the subject. I may break the rechargeable battery if I keep this up. I crawl into bed and my mood quickly changes as I get ready for the dreams, hoping I’m too tired for them to be really bad.I have been alright so far, better than I thought anyway. My nightmares have morphed once again and this time I am not in the dream first hand, but watching from the outside as a spectator. The emotions don’t
59 - RykerI cannot get Amy off of me. I was so distracted coming down the stairs, I wasn’t paying attention to who was around. She’s like a freaking octopus with tentacles everywhere. I have had to use an alpha command on her twice to keep her hands to herself, but she seems to just enjoy the power move and the pain she gets from disobeying. I shouldn’t have to command her at all and I don’t like using it on pack members, but I think I am going to have to make an exception now. She’s been getting bolder in her defiance of my instructions.I immediately saw Kennedy’s face when we walked in. I know I’m a hypocrite when I told her to stay away from my guys. And now it seems whenever she sees me there is a woman hanging off of me or I’m yelling at her. Bennet is just as confused, but he’s blocked me for now and won’t let me explain. My mate has him whipped and that makes my wolf growl at the thought. Is she interested in him beyond friendship like Jeremiah’s beta? Can she change her
60 - KennedyI have to make the best of this. It’s been weeks and I haven’t left the packhouse or seen Ryker at all. My usual stubborn side has been stuffed way back into my mind because I don’t want to get any of the warriors in trouble again. Who knows what Ryker did to them last time, but none of them talk to me anymore and I haven’t seen Jensen since the attack. I can’t ask anyone about it, even though I’m not really ever alone, someone is always lurking around. Their punishments were enough to make them keep their distance. I can call Jeremiah and Rayna now. But this has proven to be a bigger problem. I can’t tell them the whole truth. Jeremiah can see bullsh*t a mile away, especially mine. We have never been able to lie to each other, so I have to come up with creative half truths about my time here. At least Rayna could back up my story about not having my phone because it was being checked by an IT team. I guess her brother has always been extra cautious with electronics.
61 - RykerI have been tracking all of Kennedy’s calls and text messages. She seems to be telling the truth. She has only messaged my sister and Jeremiah from her old pack and Robin and Bennet here. All the messages have been short and to the point. She calls Jeremiah more than she texts, which makes sense based on what I know of their relationship. The calls never last more than ten minutes though, which I do think is odd. Bennet doesn’t respond to her unless necessary and most of the time it's ‘I’ll check with the Alpha.’ He knows I’m monitoring, so maybe he just converses with her face to face. He hasn’t said much to me either since her attack. Until last night. Last night I got a front row seat to his opinion of my treatment of her. Which is why I’m on my current Kennedy rabbit hole.“ALPHA!”“What?!” I yell back at Josh. He’s been more crabby recently too.“Will you stop stalking your mate and help me with this?”“I am not stalking her and you seem to be just fine on your
62 - KennedyI have been enjoying my time better in this pack. Sarah has been so amazing, she knows so much about the history and the way the pack works. I wonder if she is like an elder or something. It’s been a long time since I have laughed this much and I am loving every second. She has no filter and tells everyone like it is, but with the kindest heart I have ever seen.“So then they were all running naked to the packhouse like their tails were on fire!.” Sarah finishes her story about Ryker, Josh, Bennet and Danny when they were about ten and I am laughing so hard I almost fall out of my chair. Robin is slightly more dignified, but she has probably heard this story before.“I wish I could hear more stories like this. With so many elders here I’m sure there is so much more history I could learn about his pack. It is so big and wonderful, it’s like nothing I have experienced before.” I can’t even hide my fascination with Dark Moon. The more I learn, the more I want to know. I
63 -KennedyAs I watch, I know when Bennet found me. Maybe my assumptions weren’t that far off. I can feel his presence like pressure from a storm. It pushes against me from whatever direction he’s hiding from me. He’s behind me to my right. Probably behind a tree. I don’t even have to look to know. A constant, always here, always watching, just not close enough to be a comfort. Then it hits me. A sensation I haven’t felt in a long time. I stop breathing, thinking maybe I have finally lost my mind looking for that connection since I got here. I blink slowly concentrating on the pressure coming from my left. Then the scent hits me, rosemary and mint. He’s here, when I finally am ready to give him up, he shows up.I take another deep breath to stifle a sob, blink again and keep my eyes forward. I’m torn between the need to know what he’s up to and wanting to run away. I have barely had eye contact with him since the incident with Amy in the breakfast room. I don’t know what he could