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56 - RykerIt’s been a week from hell. Well, weeks really, but this one has been the worst by far. She’s in my head and at the forefront of my thoughts at all times. I have had a semi since she came storming into my office demanding to run our first day here. I couldn’t even get off with anyone who tried, and they tried really, really hard. I don’t think I have ever had this much pent up energy in my entire life.My wolf and I had a huge fight the first time I let a woman go down on me since bringing Kennedy home. He was so pissed that while her brunette curls were bobbing up and down on my c*ck and I was picturing my mate’s blonde silky strands draped over me, he started planting images in my head of old men, gnarled old wolves and my mother just to kill the mood completely. Then he laughed for hours after. I just pulled the she-wolf off me and walked out and left her very confused and sitting in the middle of the floor while I had a limp d*ck dangling in between my legs.I have b
57 - KennedyI may not be able to do anything about the caveman behavior Ryker is throwing at me right now, or my traitorous body’s reaction to it, but that doesn’t stop me from trying. I keep pounding on his back and just yell nonsense trying to get him to put me down. It is also helping me pretend to not notice the absolutely toned, naked muscle flexing and moving under me. I notice there are no tan lines. I have half a mind to smack his ass and see what happens. Would it jiggle at all? I shake my head. I’m not doing a very good job ignoring him. I’m not su*cidal though and I can not guarantee he won’t throw me back into the woods and leave me there.He hasn’t said a word to me the whole walk back, and it wasn’t a short walk. I may have a bruise on my hip from his shoulder digging in. I keep trying to pry my legs apart, he has them clamped together and that and the motion of his shoulder is giving my cl*t the rubdown of a lifetime. I may come just riding his shoulder like this. He
58 - KennedyI leaned up against the glass trying to gain my breath and the use of my legs. Why have the two best s*xual encounters of my life been with a man who has barely touched me? When I regain the use of my legs and my senses, I strip and grab my favorite vibrator and get in the shower. Part of me hopes he hears it and part of me is embarrassed that he got to me so easily and really doesn’t want to inflate his ego.After three rounds of imagining all the different ways I could take Ryker in the shower, my body was finally spent. It’s amazing how vivid my imagination is when he is the subject. I may break the rechargeable battery if I keep this up. I crawl into bed and my mood quickly changes as I get ready for the dreams, hoping I’m too tired for them to be really bad.I have been alright so far, better than I thought anyway. My nightmares have morphed once again and this time I am not in the dream first hand, but watching from the outside as a spectator. The emotions don’t
59 - RykerI cannot get Amy off of me. I was so distracted coming down the stairs, I wasn’t paying attention to who was around. She’s like a freaking octopus with tentacles everywhere. I have had to use an alpha command on her twice to keep her hands to herself, but she seems to just enjoy the power move and the pain she gets from disobeying. I shouldn’t have to command her at all and I don’t like using it on pack members, but I think I am going to have to make an exception now. She’s been getting bolder in her defiance of my instructions.I immediately saw Kennedy’s face when we walked in. I know I’m a hypocrite when I told her to stay away from my guys. And now it seems whenever she sees me there is a woman hanging off of me or I’m yelling at her. Bennet is just as confused, but he’s blocked me for now and won’t let me explain. My mate has him whipped and that makes my wolf growl at the thought. Is she interested in him beyond friendship like Jeremiah’s beta? Can she change her
60 - KennedyI have to make the best of this. It’s been weeks and I haven’t left the packhouse or seen Ryker at all. My usual stubborn side has been stuffed way back into my mind because I don’t want to get any of the warriors in trouble again. Who knows what Ryker did to them last time, but none of them talk to me anymore and I haven’t seen Jensen since the attack. I can’t ask anyone about it, even though I’m not really ever alone, someone is always lurking around. Their punishments were enough to make them keep their distance. I can call Jeremiah and Rayna now. But this has proven to be a bigger problem. I can’t tell them the whole truth. Jeremiah can see bullsh*t a mile away, especially mine. We have never been able to lie to each other, so I have to come up with creative half truths about my time here. At least Rayna could back up my story about not having my phone because it was being checked by an IT team. I guess her brother has always been extra cautious with electronics.
61 - RykerI have been tracking all of Kennedy’s calls and text messages. She seems to be telling the truth. She has only messaged my sister and Jeremiah from her old pack and Robin and Bennet here. All the messages have been short and to the point. She calls Jeremiah more than she texts, which makes sense based on what I know of their relationship. The calls never last more than ten minutes though, which I do think is odd. Bennet doesn’t respond to her unless necessary and most of the time it's ‘I’ll check with the Alpha.’ He knows I’m monitoring, so maybe he just converses with her face to face. He hasn’t said much to me either since her attack. Until last night. Last night I got a front row seat to his opinion of my treatment of her. Which is why I’m on my current Kennedy rabbit hole.“ALPHA!”“What?!” I yell back at Josh. He’s been more crabby recently too.“Will you stop stalking your mate and help me with this?”“I am not stalking her and you seem to be just fine on your
62 - KennedyI have been enjoying my time better in this pack. Sarah has been so amazing, she knows so much about the history and the way the pack works. I wonder if she is like an elder or something. It’s been a long time since I have laughed this much and I am loving every second. She has no filter and tells everyone like it is, but with the kindest heart I have ever seen.“So then they were all running naked to the packhouse like their tails were on fire!.” Sarah finishes her story about Ryker, Josh, Bennet and Danny when they were about ten and I am laughing so hard I almost fall out of my chair. Robin is slightly more dignified, but she has probably heard this story before.“I wish I could hear more stories like this. With so many elders here I’m sure there is so much more history I could learn about his pack. It is so big and wonderful, it’s like nothing I have experienced before.” I can’t even hide my fascination with Dark Moon. The more I learn, the more I want to know. I
63 -KennedyAs I watch, I know when Bennet found me. Maybe my assumptions weren’t that far off. I can feel his presence like pressure from a storm. It pushes against me from whatever direction he’s hiding from me. He’s behind me to my right. Probably behind a tree. I don’t even have to look to know. A constant, always here, always watching, just not close enough to be a comfort. Then it hits me. A sensation I haven’t felt in a long time. I stop breathing, thinking maybe I have finally lost my mind looking for that connection since I got here. I blink slowly concentrating on the pressure coming from my left. Then the scent hits me, rosemary and mint. He’s here, when I finally am ready to give him up, he shows up.I take another deep breath to stifle a sob, blink again and keep my eyes forward. I’m torn between the need to know what he’s up to and wanting to run away. I have barely had eye contact with him since the incident with Amy in the breakfast room. I don’t know what he could
31 - GretaWalking down the hall, I hear Landon and Ryker. “Yeah, we don’t know what happened exactly. The fire was just too big and everyone was running around. Peyton and I were at training and someone came in and yelled ‘FIRE’ then all the kids went crazy. Peyton and I ran together, cause we’re neighbors but the wind was too bad and there were sparks everywhere. I got burned on the arm and she told me we can’t search anymore. We told you how we found Gabriel and Trinity. Do you think that our parents are still alive?” I finally hear a whisper of the little boy he is in the question.“I hope so buddy. But you are here now and you can stay as long as you want to. In the morning I’ll have my guys start looking into your pack’s situation, now that we have an idea of what happened. You have done a great job protecting your pack. Your parents and your alpha will be so proud.”“Speaking of the littles,” I step into Bennet’s room where they are sitting on the bed. They both look over a
30 - GretaThis little doll of a girl is wrapped in Finn’s arms like a koala. She tucks her face back under Finn’s chin so she can look at me while maintaining full contact with him. Her posture is shy, but the look in her eye is most definitely not. It is almost territorial. My wolf grumbles in my head before I remind her that this baby has been through a lot and isn’t a threat. But she knows my name. That is interesting.“Oh! I am so excited to see you all!” Kennedy gushes unable to help herself. “Are you hungry? Samuel said you hunted before you left your camp. Or are you tired? We’re going to set you up here with us tonight.”“I’m hungry!” The youngest boy says and we all laugh.“Gabriel, you’re always hungry.” The oldest girl laughs at him.“Well Gabriel, you are in luck, I just had the fridge stocked. I’m always hungry too.” Kennedy giggles, patting her stomach. “Let’s get a snack and then you can all get cleaned up and in bed. Sound good?” She reaches her hand out to him. H
29 - FinnI give her fingers a squeeze and shift to follow Landon and Gabriel to get water. I lose count of how many trips we make, but Landon is smart and kept them close to a stream so it wasn’t terrible. Seth and Sameul talk the kids through what they do to process the deer and how we use everything. Nothing goes to waste. We eat and use the deer skin to hold what we don’t consume. Trinity doesn’t leave my side and only breaks contact to eat. Her cute little hand is wrapped around my pinky finger and her warm body is pressed up into my side.All the kids are fascinated with the whole food prep process, asking question after question to Seth as he cooks and hands off finished pieces of meat. After, we all wash off in the stream and head back to sit around the fire, talking comfortably. “You know you remind me of a friend of mine.” I tell Trinity.“I do? Who?” She has gotten more confident around us, but her voice is still strong, but shy.“Her name is Greta and your hair is almos
28 - FinnHe pads over to the opening and crawls in. I can hear muffled talking, but I don’t try to listen in. If she’s younger than Gabriel, she’s just a baby and I have no idea where her mind might be at. Other than my friends we never came across too many pups in our journey and I always thought that was because situations like Sammmy’s and mine were a fluke. But after seeing these kids, I wonder if it’s because they didn’t survive long enough to get help.I hear a little squeak behind me as Gabriel sits next to me. When I turn he shrugs his shoulders. I guess that means I’m up. I chance a slight look and my breath catches. This tiny little thing is huddled in a ball next to the opening, staring right back at me. Her body language says she’s afraid, but her eyes tell me a different story. She has piercing green eyes that are hard and fierce. Her look is almost a dare to go over there and see what she’ll do to me.I keep my ass on the ground and lift my hand in a wave. “Hi.” I say
27 - FinnI hear a grumbled ‘jackass’ from one of them. I try to fight a smile, kind of. “The Luna said you need help, what can I do? The Alpha is already planning how to remove my head from my body for leaving my partner alone to defend the Luna…”“WHAT!?! Why in the hell would you leave her?” The bulkier of the two warriors steps towards me.I throw my hands up. “Because SHE had a pregnant tantrum about rescuing these kids! I chose to piss off the lesser of the two evils! Have either of you dealt with a pregnant she wolf?” Both males stop in their tracks and share a look before laughing. “Wait. What’d I miss?”“I take it you don’t have kids?” Lean man asks.“No?” “The Luna is intense on her own, the hormones are making it tenfold. The name’s Samuel.” The larger built warrior says extending his hand to me. I shake it, a little confused. “Finn, nice to meet you I guess.” That’s it? All I had to do was tell them their Luna scared the crap out of me and they decide I’m not a threat?
26 - FinnWe can’t catch a break. Every time I get Greta to talk to me about this whole mate thing, something interrupts. Neither of us is stupid enough to go against our very pregnant luna though.“What’s up Boss lady?” Greta puffs out. Even she isn’t immune to these f*cking stairs.“Samuel and Seth found some abandoned pups on the border.” She screeches.“I don’t understand.” I step forward, but stay behind Greta’s shoulder. I haven’t been around many pregnant she-wolves, but I have heard they can go from sweet to violent in a blink and Kennedy is still getting used to the heightened emotions of her wolf. She’s less likely to hurt Greta in this situation.“They need your help! What’s not to understand?!” She’s frantically running her fingers through her hair, pacing and I am at a loss. I look sideways at my mate. Greta’s glassy eyed, meaning she’s hopefully getting some insight from the alpha.“Luna…LUNA!” She finally looks at me. “Can you give me more details? Are they being c
25 - FinnDeal. That’s all we were told, to deal. I am now stuck here, for who knows how long with her. I can’t deal witht this right now, I have to get out of here.“I’m going to go look around.” I drop my bag and scurry to the door.“Finn, wait..”I don’t hear anything else she says as I spring like a coward down the hall, down the stairs, past a confused Kennedy and out to the massive patio. I’m panting, my lungs won’t take in air. I can’t do this. I can’t be around her. Her scent in the car was difficult enough to deal with. I am the most relaxed and at the same time the most tense than I have been in weeks.“You need to calm down. This is a good thing.”“How can it be a good thing?! I was just getting used to not being around her.”“You get another shot, that’s why it’s a good thing!”“I don’t want it. She doesn’t want me. I am a rogue with nothing. Just let me reject her and we can move on. The rest of our group is settled and Ryker is going to make them all pack soon.”“NO!
24 - FinnI slide out of the SUV looking around. This feels like a trap, and yet none of the usual alarms are going off in my head. My wolf and I have established a decent radar for bad situations. Avoiding them is our top priority. I’m not sure what it is about Kennedy and Ryker, but I have not had one single instance of distrust with either of them the entire time we have been in the Dark Moon pack.“Greta! Finn!” I whip around to see Kennedy at the top of a ridiculously tall staircase. “Well, don’t just stand there, come on!” She waves us up excitedly.It’s almost strange to have someone excited to see me. Nan was it, as far as I can remember, other than the pups at Dark Moon. But, they are excited to see most people, so they don’t really count. I always have Sammy and some of the other guys. We fight side by side and hope each one makes it out alive. We have had to leave guys behind and move forward, move on to the next location. I couldn’t tell you where we laid those people to
23 - GretaI sit and stare at the door for a long while. There’s no sound on the other side. He’s not showering or anything, just waiting for me to leave. I should feel relieved. He told me to go and I wish I could make my body do just that, but I’m locked here in place, my wolf is willing him to come out. His wolf is blocking her and I can feel her heartbreak. Something’s changed and she’s hurting. Add it to the list of things for me to feel guilty about.I stand, frustrated, and take a deep breath of his lingering scent, then get an idea. I run my hands on the pillows and blankets. Anything soft in this room I touch. At the very least, maybe he will sleep okay tonight. I need to talk to Kennedy, this is something I don’t know how to navigate. I still don’t want a mate. It’s not fair to Finn that I am broken and can’t be fixed. I don’t like the idea of him hurting over it either._It has been weeks and FInn is nowhere in sight. I can feel him when he’s near, but he is avoiding m