Unhappy marriage

Nathan

"More wine, darling?" Jade purred, refilling my glass to the brim before I could respond. I took a long swallow of the bitter red liquid, avoiding her expectant gaze.

Around us, the bustling pack solstice celebration faded into background noise. Ever the dutiful Alpha pair, Jade and I hosted this lavish annual gathering at our estate on the new moon. An excuse for unserious political talk and overindulgent feasting.

Jade certainly embraced the bacchanal vibes, flitting around in a skimpy dress, encouraging overconsumption.

I can't get what's wrong with her? Even with our mate bond she doesn't live me.

Meanwhile I put in obligatory appearances for the pack sake before retreating outside for fresh air, seeking respite from the suffocating crowds and perfumed air clouding my senses.

After six years mated, maintaining even a thin veneer of marital contentment felt exhausting.

Where once I had admired Jade's vivacious beauty and outgoing nature, now her constant demands for attention grated my nerves raw.

She pouted over my lack of affection, unable to comprehend how our once fiery bond had cooled to lifeless embers.

But perhaps she understood better than I realized. Lately my Beta, Derek, had been giving me loaded, pitying looks when he thought I wasn't paying attention. And Jade often disappeared at gatherings, returning with mussed hair and clothes askew.

I knew the signs. Seen it play out with other mated Alpha pairs over the years. Passion fading to habit then to thinly veiled resentment. Seeking excitement outside the relationship. But acknowledging the rot at the core of my own marriage remained more than I could bear.

So I carried on playing the role of adoring mate in public, while privately longing for solitude. With my father ailing, the pack needed to see Jade and I as a unified front leading them into the future. Outward stability mattered more than inner peace.

Perhaps in another life, Jade could have been the right match if fate had not twisted us together too soon. Despite our initial intoxicating mate bond, we proved sadly misaligned under the surface.

While I took ruling the pack seriously, Jade cared only for the luxurious privileges and attention her role granted. She had not even wanted children, showing no maternal instincts.

A sharp peal of her laughter drew my somber gaze back to the present. Jade was whispering closely with Dmitri, a visiting Alpha renowned for his roving eye.

His hand rested possessively on her lower back. She practically glowed under his attention, more alive than I had seen her in ages.

I should have felt outraged at their blatant disrespect. Instead their intimacy barely registered. Let Dmitri entertain her if he could. Their tryst left the hollowness in my chest untouched.

Dawn was a smudge on the horizon before the last drunken guests finally staggered home. I wanted only to collapse into bed as Jade chattered about the party's highlights. But she had other desires, tearing open my shirt and kissing aggressively. Even after spending her time with the bastard Alpha, she still come to me ? Like some whore.

I gently pushed her away. "Not tonight, Jade. I'm too spent."

Jade's pretty features contorted in annoyance. "You're always too spent lately," she hissed. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you no longer found me attractive!"

I forced a soothing tone. "You know that's not true. We're just tired from hosting. Sleep, and we'll reconnect tomorrow."

With a dramatic huff, Jade rolled away from me. I lay rigidly awake as her breaths slowed, too wired from the evening's tense interactions to find rest.

How much longer could I carry on like this - an empty vessel playing a part, detached from my own life? But what other choice did I have?

Tradition bound my steps irrevocably to the mate chosen by the bond. Jade and I were shackled together, dragging each other down.

Morning brought no relief. I sat numbly through breakfast, Jade's anger crystallizing into an icy remove. She declined joining me to visit my ailing father, claiming other plans. Likely rendezvousing again with Dmitri. I barely reacted anymore.

The fresh air outside revived me as I hiked through the forest to my parents' cottage. Mother embraced me warmly before returning to Father's bedside. He had been declining the past few months, his usual hearty vigor diminished. Now he rarely stirred from bed, skin waxy and pallid. My visits gave him small bursts of energy, but never for long.

I clasped his frail hand as I settled into the bedside chair. "How are you feeling today, Dad?"

Father's eyes blinked open slowly, a hint of his old smile crossing his face. "Well enough for the moment. But this blasted sickness continues resisting all magical and modern remedies. I fear my spirit is losing its will to fight."

Panic gripped my heart, but I kept my tone light. "No giving up yet, Dad. We'll find a way to get you well again."

He patted my hand weakly. "Son, you must prepare yourself. My time grows short."

"Don't say that!" My composure slipped. "You're the strongest wolf I know. Just hang on a little longer and-"

"Hush now. It's alright." Father's eyes shone with love and acceptance. "My only regret is not seeing the pack secured under your stable leadership and guidance before I go. But you will rise to lead magnificently. Of that I have no doubt."

I nodded numbly, unable to form words around the painful lump in my throat. The wise, solid presence I had relied on to guide me through challenges big and small would leave a gaping void when he was gone. The future without him looked impossibly bleak.

After tea with Mother, I pressed a fervent goodbye kiss to Father's forehead, wishing hopelessly I could transfer some of my vitality into his weakened body. But such magic was not meant for me. Helpless to alter the inevitable, I retreated home heavy of heart.

The estate felt cloying and oppressive in my despondency. I had no desire to cross paths with Jade after last night's frigid exchanged.

Sparing only enough time to grab supplies, I escaped into my wolf form and ran for miles through the shadowy forest trails. Out here surrounded by wildness, I could pretend the burdens of leadership and a disintegrating marriage didn't exist.

I paused to lap up cool water from a burbling stream, chest heaving. As I raised my dripping muzzle, a hauntingly familiar scent hit me full force - the rich earthiness of Ancient oak trees. The clearing.

My paws carried me forward before my mind could resist. Soon enough, there it was - the sheltered circle of towering oaks where Terra and I played as children.

Where we later escaped together from the pressures of pack politics and coming of age, to simply be ourselves.

....

I shifted back to human form, each step through the waist-high grass snaring me in memories. Terra's bright laughter echoing around the verdant hollow. Her small hand clutched in mine. Moonlight glinting off her ginger waves as we lay gazing up at the stars, content in each other's quiet company.

The tall grass where we once frolicked now lay flattened in the center, holding the faint imprint of two bodies entwined...

I jerked away from the aching recollections. Being here was a mistake. Terra was my past, and nothing could change that now. I turned to leave the ghosts of simpler times behind once more.

A glint of silver caught my eye near the clearing's edge - a delicate bracelet tangled amid the foliage. I gently extracted it, breath catching. A gift I had given Terra, once. Emeralds set in intricate floral shapes matched her eyes perfectly.

She had loved it, rarely removing the piece. Yet here it lay, abandoned and forgotten, much like the girl herself. I curled my fist around the delicate links, irrationally afraid they would disintegrate in my grasp.

Seeing this small part of her again brought everything rushing back - our shared youth, her sweet nature and luminous spirit, the unbreakable bond I had thought we shared. No one had ever known me so wholly. Losing her left a void no amount of time could fill.

Perhaps in staying true to tradition and duty, I had sacrificed the only thing that gave my life meaning. The only soul who might have made this role bearable.

A crushing wave of regret forced me to my knees in the crushed grass. By choosing Jade over the unbreakable love Terra and I shared, I had destroyed us both. I had no one to blame but myself.

I remained there long after the moon rose high overhead, clutching the delicate bracelet, mourning all I had so carelessly tossed away. If only fate could be altered. But the past could not be undone. Terra was gone from me forever now. All I could do was move forward and endure.

I fastened the small silver circlet around my wrist, vowing to keep Terra's memory close to my heart, even if we could never again be close in life. With a final grief-stricken howl to the impassive moon, I turned again from the remnants of joy long lost.

Over the days following my torturous visit to our special place, I withdrew further into myself, taking no comfort in Jade's presence. Her demanding outbursts bare penetrated my gloom. My focus stayed singular - finding a way to cure my father before his spirit left this world. I could not, would not lose him too.

But our traditional medicine of the healers continued failing to reverse his wasting decline. Even renowned healers from allied packs could not diagnose what ailed him.

As the harsh winter took hold, Father worsened, rarely rousing even when I read to him from his favorite worn books.