Chapter 1

Lexy's POV.

Today is the day, I couldn't disguise my happiness any more. I knew I couldn't disguise it anymore when I called Jimmy's phone earlier, screaming on top of my voice While telling him about my trip back to L.A. I mean, who does that? Me, of course. Everyone knew Jimmy from Neurosurgery barely has time for anyone but his books but I did it anyway. I called and disturbed the life out of him. He's such a boring geek.

It felt great to finally go back to Los Angeles. For good this time. I didn't wanna call my dad yet. I'm gonna surprise him today.

Walking over to my dorm room window, I watched over the school's tall buildings. And then I thought, 'this school has taken so much from me'. But no more. I felt a wave of energy surge through me and I giggled excitedly, spinning towards the room to continue packing again. Unplugging my phone from my bedside table, I streamed through my music list and stopped at Alessia Cara's songs. Hitting on her Scars to your beautiful album, I set it down on my pillow and let it play loudly.

Spinning one more time, I walked into my walk-in closet to retrieve the rest of my clothes. Singing along to Alessia Cara's song, I realized I needed a much better song with lyrics just for this moment cause I'm going home baby! And I ain't leaving a single clothe behind! Too bad I don't got a song with such lyrics. But this would do anyway!

I continued to sing along as I dumped the clothes on my bed and jumped on top of them, pulling my traveller bag closer. Where the hell is Millie when I need her? I do not understand my best friend and roommate sometime. Last night she was all over the place talking about how excited she was about going back home to Canada even though she's leaving next week and would totally help me pack today, and now she has bailed on me.

I had a lot to pack, damn it! I started folding up my jeans when I heard her car's hunk outside my window. Grunting, I stepped down from the bed and walked over to the window. Looking down, I could see Millie's old brown texas convertible car parked just below my window. My room was on the fifth floor above so she has her face turned up, her tinted pink glasses seated unevenly on her nose as she stared sup at me. She's chewing gum like she always does, her hand still pushing on her hunk.

"Cut it out!" I screamed to her but she only smiles.

She stopped junking only to tell back at me "fuck you bitch!"

The students seated around the yard barely gave her any attention. They're used to her now.

"You're so dead, Millie!" I yelled on top of my voice.

"I'm still alive!" She replies before jumping off the car, her yellow crop top only barely fitting over her large bossom, her bellybutton on full display down to the blue bargy ragged jeans she wore. As always she has her blond hair held into two messy bons at each side of her head, giving her elfin face a more babyish touch.

I walked back from the window as she proceeded inside, stopped right beside my bed and continued to fold my clothes. Just then the door pushed open and she walked in.

"Hey girlfriend!" She said festively.

Turning back to her, I said seriously "where you been, Millie?"

"I am so sorry," she drops a hand over my shoulder "you are not late for your flight I promise"

The sound of her mentioning my flight home makes me break into a smile and just like that, the thought of seeing my father has once again ruined my perfect chance of actually being mad at her. I was supposed flushed.

"We still got seven freaking hours to get you ready!" She said energetically, shaking my shoulders before letting go and picking up my dress.

"You're right. I'm super hiked for this" I walked back into the walk-in closet and fetched my last clothes.

"I am so happy we did this together, Lexy," Millie said as she sat on the bed, in the middle of all my clothes "look at us, we're gonna be doctors!"

I chuckled happily before replying " I know right?"

"I'm thinking of interning at this really amazing hospital in the states"

"That's totally cool. Where?"

"New York. You still wanna intern where you said you would?"

"I'm positive"

Working at my dad's hospital is my biggest dream. Might not be the biggest hospital out there but it's one hell of a big dream for me. My dad is a doctor and he's good at what he does. He build his hospital when I was in middle school and he'd been my biggest inspiration to becoming a doctor myself. I graduated a surgeon myself and couldn't wait to start working with him. I'd made up my mind to intern and probably work at his hospital cause it was a big opportunity to fill up the gap between us, be with him this time without getting worried about ever leaving.

After getting accepted into this school, I'd barely seen my father. We talked on phones, sometimes video calls but that was it. I was always too busy getting my grades up to go home and he was way more busy at his hospital treating people too. After six years, I finally saw the opportunity to be with him again and I'm not gonna let it go. The thought warmed my heart.

"I'm excited about going home too," Millie says "miss my mom and my little sister. God feels like forever"

"Yeah but you have to stay for a few weeks because you wanna spend some time with Tony" I replied in a mimicking voice.

"First, I do not talk like that," she laughs before adding " and secondly, yes. You're totally right. We wanna spend some time together. I've been so taken away by my exams that we barely even said a word to each other and this is the perfect time to do that"

I gave her an approving smile. Tony was her long term boyfriend. They started dating since our first year medical school. Tony had come to the school as an escort to one of the doctors and had met Millie at the lab doing God knows what. They had fallen in love instantly after a series of circumstansial meets. He had come to the school hospital as a supervisor with a couple of his colleagues from his business school. And now, they are so inseparable, I get so jealous some times. Yep, they really rub my single syndrome all over my face sometimes.

"We wanna move in together now," she added " I finally agreed"

"Sounds nice, it's about time" I rolled my eyes pointedly at her. Tony had been asking her to move in with him since last year and she refused. Said she needed to focus on studying. Now seems the perfect time though.

"Then I can go home and come back"

"So you're going to New York together"

"Yeah . . . . . .he says he's gonna get an apartment there. I'm really excited, Lexy"

"And I'm happy for you. You need to be happy, Millie. Do whatever crazy shits you want"

"Dang girl" she laughs hard.

"It's about time you start pulling your life together too, Lexy" she said, causing me to sigh. I knew she was going there, I just knew we couldn't have a nice conversation without her implying that.

"Millie, for the umpteenth time, men don't just fall off the skies!" I said what I always said whenever she talks about my relationshipless life. If there's a word like that.

"And for the umpteenth time, you ain't looking and your dream man probably will never show up cause he's a fantasy"

"I do not have a dream man, Millie. I'm just . . . . .busy"

"Okay. . . . .but guess what?" She goes on her knees on the bed, shuts her eyes and inhaled deeply "I have a very good feeling about this. I think you're gonna meet your dream man this time and you are gonna be swooped by his love for you"

I gave her the knowing look before replying "Millie, you've said this since. . . .two years"

"Well. . . . . . Might just happen this time!"

I threw a shirt at her face and laughed before zipping up the bag "you're so full of it, Millie"

"Hey, I've got a good feeling this time"

My smile slowly faded as I thought strongly of what she just said. My own dream man? Of course I have fantasies about men. I always wanted the really intimidating kind of men, the powerful and possessive ones. I'm always disappointment cause in the end, those type of men only happens in fantasy books. And I read too much of those toxic romantic books.

I've been in just three relationships all my life. Twice in highschool and once in college. And none has ever lasted for as much as two years. The longest was my first relationship in highschool and it had turned out to be a mere infatuation.

I'd dumped the third guy I started dating two years after getting into this university. He was a medical student too and I'd dumped him three months after we started going out. He was too much of a nerd who wanted sex all the time too. I had better things to focus on.

And ever since, I wanted to take things slow. Wasn't really into anybody. I've had a couple of relationship requests but I'd turned them down. I wanted to make good grades and graduate excellently. And then I can think about men. I've always felt like there was someone that I should meet, someone I'm yet to meet, someone who's a bigger and better part of me. . . . . .

After getting packed, I showered and dressed up. I help Millie out with stocking my travel bags in her mini booth and back seat before putting on my dark shades and letting her drive me to the airport.

Millie sat with me, taking all sorts of photos before it was time to get on board.

"I'm gonna miss you so much, Lexy" she said, imitating a crying voice as she hugged me.

Patting her back, I replied "same for me"

"Why does this feel like goodbye?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Millie," I said, letting go of her " this means nothing, no boundaries"

"You're right. . . . . . " She gives me a big smile "Off you go then"

I walked away and Into the plain that's set to leave. I took my seat right next to the window and shut my eyes close, thinking, imagining. I'm finally doing it. I'm going home. I smiled, turning to the window to see that we were already airborne.

I took my pink headphone from around my neck and placed it over my ears, letting series of my music lists take over me through out the ride.

At some point I tried to sleep but I couldn't. The joy was threatening to swallow me whole.

I'm finally gonna be home, people!

This was the time I wished my mom was here. She'd died giving birth to me. I missed her everyday and it always felt like I've known her since forever. I wished she had been at my graduation. Dad was busy and couldn't make it. I personally considered the far distance and told him to sit it out. Graduation wasn't such a big thing anymore.

Seeing him now and telling him my big news is the bigger thing now.

I'm not gonna leave him ever again.