5

~Sienna

I stare off into the distance, my knees pulled up to my chest, the back of my pants dampening against the grass.

Distantly, crowds grow thick and threatening, rolling mercilessly over the far-away settlements.

Up here, on this hill, I can almost see out to the ocean. At least I like to imagine I can, especially when there’s no clumps of cloud blocking my view. Today I see little of the generous landscape.

Footsteps hurry from behind me. I don’t glance over my shoulder.

“Sienna.” Onyx sounds slightly out of breath. “I was looking everywhere for you.”

He sits himself down next to me, looking laughably out of place amongst nature in his all black tunic and pants and brooding stature.

"Your ancestors did a good job securing this territory as their own," I mumble. "It's beautiful."

Clusters of lakes scatter haphazardly across the land, breaking up the endless forest and fields that can’t seem to decide if they want to blend or not. We live up on a sprawling hill, allowing us to see much of the rest of the flat land.

I can feel his apprehension in the way he scans my face, in the way his breathing seems stilted.

"Many died to procure it, and many have died to secure it,” he recites.

I turn my head. "That's what your mother used to tell me when I was younger."

"Me too. She got it from my father."

I never got to meet Onyx’s father. He doesn’t mention him often, and I don’t press the issue.

He sighs. “I'm sorry about that."

My brows raise. "The ambush?"

"Yeah."

I huff out a bitter laugh. At least I can safely chalk that up as one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life.

"It's okay. I understand." I’ve taken the time to consider the proposition being made to me, and I’ve finally reconciled with the idea.

Its good timing that I’ve figured this out too. It’s going to rain at any moment. The air is heavy and the wind is laden with the promise of a strong fall.

"So..."

"I'll do it.” I straighten, pressing my shoulders back to convey confidence. "I'll be your mistress."

It’s a bizarre sentence that tastes wrong coming from my mouth. Knowing it’s bureaucratic nonsense and not a proposal to actually service my Alpha has made this pill a lot easier to swallow.

It’s just a title. I don’t actually have to fuck him…I don’t think.

His lips curve upward in both relief and surprise. "Really?"

"It freaked me out at first, then I came out here and actually thought about it," I say, the wind rustling my hair loose from its tie. "Your mother is right."

"She loves you so much. She is frightened of seeing you harmed because of me.

"I get that."

And I do. I know I’m in danger here. Becoming his mistress is good logic.

"You need to think about this. Truly. Not just for a couple of hours, but for days, weeks even." Onyx takes my hands into his, squeezing tightly.

There’s something about the earnest look in his large, almost black eyes that has my stomach twisting. The air is already starting to curl the edges of his hair around his face. I like when that happens.

I raise a sceptical brow. "Weeks? Your mother will wait that long?"

"No, but I don't care,” he assures me. "This is a decision you need to make for the right reasons."

I’m not sure what the right reasons are. If I wanted to fuck him, maybe. That’s what mistresses are traditionally designed for.

"You're my best friend, Onyx. I really love living here, and I can't imagine being away from you.” I knot my fingers together on my lap. "I want to stay."

Eventually I’ll have to move on. Onyx may fall in love soon, and I’ll be even less of a priority. Soon, there will be nothing left here for me.

The doubt continues to battle with the relief in his eyes. "This may make finding a husband difficult."

I’m open to fun in the meantime. The next man I have something romantic with doesn’t have to be my mate.

I mean, it could be years before I find the one I’m destined for.

"No it won't." I look out over the horizon.

"Why not?"

"I mean, it's hard enough with just you in my proximity, and I'm used to that.” I laugh a little, thinking back to all the petrified faces of males who realised I was friends with the Alpha. "I'm only ever going to settle for my mate, and nothing, not even some faux title can stop that love."

"Good point." Onyx doesn’t seem mad about that. I think he secretly enjoys terrifying all my potential dates.

Lucky for him, he doesn’t have to try so hard.

"So, I'll do it," I say, focusing my pointed gaze on him. "But I'm not having sex with you."

Onyx’s expression erupts into a rare, wild grin.

"I know, don’t worry.” He leans back so his elbows are in the grass. “Although no one else can know that."

"However will my reputation recover?" I rest my hand on my chest, acting aghast. "People are going to think I'm sleeping with you."

He rolls his eyes, but he can’t hide his amusement.

Reality is, I’m the one with little experience and he’s the alleged sex God. Then again, those claims have only come from him, and a girl I bumped into one morning who was slinking out of his room shamefully.

I believe it though. I mean, I can tell just by looking at him.

"Very funny,” he mutters.

I smile smugly. "I think so too."

He tips his head back, closing his eyes. His relief is palpable, which means he was shouldering this burden for some time.

He needs cheering up.

"Can I tell you a secret?"

He looks at me. "Sure."

"I'm not a virgin."

He sits up properly, his eyes wide. I flush as his eyes sweep down my body like he’s looking for the imprint of my past lover's hands on my body.

"What?"

"I snuck a guy into my room once..." I wince a little. This story is hopelessly embarrassing. It was not the first time I had dreamt of for many years, and to make it worse, it wasn’t that long ago.

He cracks an amused smile. "When?"

"Like a year ago. It only happened once and it was awful,” I groan as I recall the mess of a night.

I threw back a shot of some alcohol and let some guy seduce me. I smuggled him into my room, so unbelievably ready to lose my virginity, only for the entire experience to last less than fifteen seconds.

"And you didn't tell me?" Onyx presses his palm against his chest like he’s deeply offended.

"I thought you would be angry."

"I'm not angry.” He says that, but even he can’t hide the slight chill in his eyes. "You're allowed to sleep with whoever you please."

"Oh yeah?"

"What was his name again?" His smile is wicked.

"Stop." I slap his arm playfully. "He worked here and he's long gone by now."

Honestly I wish I could take it back. I remember being upset that Onyx had a girl he was seeing and she was so pretty and graceful and she looked like she would be good in bed.

My immature, foolish brain thought I needed to be good at sex. I didn’t get much of a chance to improve my skills when the entire experience was so short.

"You scared him off, didn't you?"

"Me? More like you.” I roll my ankles around. "After he...you know, he freaked out so much at the thought of you catching him that he was gone the next morning."

I remember the terror in his eyes. It was almost amusing, because at that time, Onyx probably wouldn’t have cared all that much.

"I'm sorry for ruining your shot at true love." He laughs a little, shaking his head in a way that causes his black strands to brush against his brows.

"Hardly.” I shudder. "It took him about five minutes to figure out where to actually put his dick."

Onyx pulls a face. I doubt he has any problems in that area…

"I'm sorry your first time wasn't all you had thought it would be.” He looks off into the distance.

I swallow thickly, looking away. Shamefully, I always imagined my first time to be with him. He may be hard, rough and terrifying, but I know he would have made it good for me.

In some ways, I felt like I was always holding out for him to offer, which now seems like such a ridiculous thought.

"Why are you telling me now and not then?"

"Back then I thought you would hunt the poor guy down and kill him," I admit.

"I said I would only hurt those who hurt you," he muses, the wind rustling the hair against his forehead. "As far as I'm aware, you weren't harmed having sex with this man."

I physically grimace at the memory of the night. After a year the memory of the moment hurts more than the actual act of sex.

"My dignity was," I grumble, hugging my knees. "And it did kind of hurt, which is surprising because he wasn't exactly big, if you know what I mean."

Onyx raises his brows, laughing like I've never seen him before. I'm glad my misery amuses him so much.

"It was your first time. It's supposed to hurt at first."

"Anyways, now I know he's probably put multiple Pack's between him and I, so I figure he's safe." I don't think multiple Pack's would be enough to keep someone away from Onyx if they wanted him dead, but the poor guy doesn't know it.

Onyx shakes his head a little. "He's safe."

We sit in silence for a moment, watching the dark clouds approach us. I know a storm is gathering, but I'll be out of here before it sets in.

"Have you done it since then?" He asks tentatively.

"No. The opportunity never came up," I admit with a sigh. Part of me wants to lie, to tell him I have tons of experience and he isn't the one excellent at seduction. It feels wrong to twist the truth, though.

His expression is unreadable. "What a shame."

"What about you? How many poor souls do you drag into that room of yours?" I grin, although there's a biting ache in my stomach as the words come out. "And I ask this knowing Lucia caught a girl in her panties and no top running around the halls in your wing of the house a few years ago."

"I've been with a few over the years." He shrugs, like none of it matters to him. "Not recently, though."

"Why not recently?"

He gazes at me for a beat too long. I feel the need to fill the silence, but I let him decide what he wants to say to me.

"Different priorities, I guess."

A drop of cool water lands on my arm, and then the tip of my nose followed by my head.

"Oh shit, rain." I stand swiftly. Rain means a storm could be coming. I need to be out of here as quickly as possible.

Sensing my urgency, Onyx stands too and grabs my arm.

"Let's get my mistress inside," he says, smirking. I shake my head and him and jab him in the ribs before rushing off back home.