“I’ve been looking for you since I turned fifteen. I was already finished with my training and I could focus on looking for you. I went everywhere. By the time I was twenty I had lost hope. I thought you were dead, that my mate had died before we met,” he says, his voice is a lot softer than before, but still deep, and the vibrations from his chest it sending shivers down my spine.
“I don’t understand,” I whisper.
I find myself leaning my cheek against his warm chest. He is so warm, even though it’s cold outside. He is very aesthetically pleasing, too, which is of course a bonus, but I’m still unsure if I even believe this. Did he spend five years looking for me?
“What don’t you understand, little mate?” he asks.
“Everything.”
He sighs, but somehow his arms tighten around me.
“Why don’t we do some explaining today, then? Dad told me you didn’t know that much, but I thought he was exaggerating,” he says, and pulls back from me. His hands are on my shoulders now, and he holds me, staring into my eyes with his deep green ones. “Come on, let’s shift. I’ll take you somewhere, and I’ll tell you all about being a wolf.”
He smiles, and takes another step back. His smile turns into a grin, and I’m pretty sure he’s gonna shift right in front of me, so I grab his hand, before he gets too far away. I suddenly feel embarrassed, too. Everything that’s normal for these people are so foreign for me, even though we’re the same.
“Azaire,” I plead, feeling weird when his name leaves my lips, “I can’t.”
“You can’t what, mate?” he questions, stepping closer to me again, brushing some of my hair away from my face.
“I can’t shift,” I tell him, and look away. It’s so embarrassing, when he can obviously do it so effortlessly. “I only shift when there’s a full moon, and even then I don’t do it on purpose.”
Silence.
More silence.
Fuck. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have let him shift and run wherever he wanted, and then I should have gone up to my guest room, packet my stuff and left. It gets harder to leave every second I’m out here with him, for some reason.
“Ride on my back, then,” he suddenly says, still smiling at me.
Then I hear his bones breaking. I swear I didn’t hear that yesterday when Alessandro and Marco shifted in front of me. It has to be because my ears are so focused on him, right? I don’t even get the chance to tell him no, before he’s standing in front of me on all fours covered in thick, brown fur, with specks of white in them here and there. He looks so big and strong, and I’m suddenly even more aware of my own fragile state. He stares at me, just waiting for me to do something, I guess, and I kind of wish I could communicate with him somehow. I don’t speak wolf, do I? Is that even a thing?
I reluctantly take a step forward, and pet the fur on his back, reaching up. He isn’t too big, but he is still taller than me, he’s probably the same height as he was in his human form, but still, I’m not going to be able to just jump onto his back.
As if he reads my mind, he lays down on the grass, and I can hear every straw bend and break once again. I close my eyes, totally aware that my “mate” is waiting for me to climb on top of his wolf-back, but it’s really surreal that this is happening. I thought that I was the only one of my kind for five years. This is a little too much, but right when I’m about to turn around and leave him, he turns his head around, and looks at me. His green eyes look even deeper now, and they remind me of the human that just a few minutes earlier begged me to stay, because he spent so many years looking for me. Or, he didn’t look for me, he looked for his mate, who happens to be me.
I take a deep breath, and grab a hold of the fur in his neck, before I swing one of my legs over his back. It feels sort of degrading having to do this, like I’m a little human who can’t do shit, and has to rely on her werewolf-boyfriend for everything. Except, he isn’t my boyfriend, and I’m not a human.
Maybe I should stay. Just until he can teach me to use my werewolf-abilities at will, and then I’ll go.
The wolf underneath me stands up, and I hold on tight. He didn’t tell me to, but I feel like I have to hold on. Hopefully, it doesn’t hurt him too much. A little is okay, because he is being really forward with me for no reason, so he probably doesn’t mind. He walks slowly at first, towards the edge of the forest, but as soon as we’re past the first tree, he starts running.
He’s fast, and I can feel the muscles in his body move as he runs through the forest. I immediately laid down on his back, and gripped around his neck when he increased his speed. I’m still holding on for dear life, as I watch the blurs that once were trees go past us. Or, we’re probably the ones going past them..
Finally, he slows down, and lays down on the ground. I’m still holding onto him, and I’m about to roll off, when his bones starts cracking again, and he shifts back into a human underneath me. I stare at him in shock, as he turns around on his back, making me lay on top of his stomach, and I quickly move away from him. It somehow feels more intimate when he’s human, like I’m not supposed to do that at all.. He chuckles once, after I’ve gotten to my feet, and I mumble some words I’d rather not repeat, in my shame for holding onto him like that.
I feel mortified.
“It’s okay, little mate,” his deep voice says, as I hear him stand up too. “I just hoped you’d want to hold onto me like that, like this too, but I guess we’ve got a long way to go.”
“Ass,” I mutter, a little louder.
“Snarky. I like that,” he says, and I clamp my eyes shut.
Fuck. I hoped he wouldn’t like it.
I turn around to face away from Azaire, and look at my surroundings. We’re in a clearing inside the never-ending forest. It looks almost like someone has made it this way, with the tree stumps scattered around, a log there, and a fire-pit in the middle. A few meters away from me is a treehouse, leaning against one of the bigger trees surrounding the clearing. It looks like it’s filled with comic books and toys, and I take a step closer to it, just to see if I’m right.“I used to come out here with dad when I was a kid, when he had patrol,” Azaire says, but he doesn’t move. “Dad and his beta, Paul, built it for me and Paul’s son Tyler, who is my best friend. You should meet him, and his mate. I have a feeling you’d hit it off.”I turn around and frown at him.“Just because I’m supposedly your mate, it means I’d become friends with your friend&rs
My heart seems to relax a little as I listen to his words and stare into his eyes. His last words feels a little like a stab to the burnt outside of it, though, making me flinch. I try to move my head, but he won’t let me. He holds my head in place, and he keeps staring into my eyes. He’s way too intense for me to handle right now, even though I’m glad I’m already on my knees. His smoldering eyes would bring me down if not. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I never knew I liked, in a man, but he won’t get me this easily. I still need to leave.“Why don’t you try to focus on the feelings you have when you’re a wolf?” he suggests, still staring at me.“Uhm,” I utter, trying my best to word my feelings as a wolf. “I’m free? I don’t know, honestly. I never remember much.”I clear my throat and look down at his
“Sweetie, how did training go?”I look up from my packed backpack to see Soraya standing right next to me. I didn’t even notice it, because my hearing is focused on Azaire in the other room. Just behind that wall. He’s pacing back and forth, growling now and then. It’s distracting as hell.“Not good,” I admit, and send her a small smile. “Thank you for everything, Mrs. Kaios, but I should go.”I sniffle, and look back down at my backpack. I’m about to close it, when Soraya snorts next to me.This time I hear Azaire snort on the other side of the wall. He apparently didn’t think it was that much fun doing that fucking puppy-training on me. I roll my eyes and look up at Soraya again, with a kind smile.“I appreciate it, but I just heard him laugh at that. He doesn’t want to train me,” I say, and rea
I stop to put on the shoes Soraya let me borrow earlier today, but Azaire seems to have other plans, as he spins around with his back towards me.“Hop on,” he ushers.“What? No!” I protest, and bend down to put the shoes on.“We don’t have time for this, I’ll carry you,” he says, pulling me up again. “And I think you prefer a piggyback ride instead of me carrying you bridal style.”He smirks at me, and I scrunch my nose up. He is right, but we’re wasting time. I could have put on my shoes by now if he didn’t complain so much.“No,” I tell him firmly, and rip my hand from his hold.He sighs excessively, but waits for me as I slip them on, and I send him an over-exaggerated smile as I’m done, and brush past him to exit the house. Once I’m a few meters away from the h
I stare at my two hole cards for a moment, hiding them with my hand so Azaire won’t see. He’s tried a few times already, but I always shoot him a glare. One time I even slapped his arm to get him to look away, and that seemed to work for a few rounds. Alexander is awesome, though. He’s loud and dramatic, but he’s amazing. He’s got the most chips right now, while Aiden is almost out, and Azaire and I are about the same.My cards are actually kind of good. I have the ten and Queen of spades. I can only hope the community cards are just as good, and that I’ll end up with something awesome, so I can beat Azaire and take all his chips. I’m quite competitive, which I had forgotten during these past five years, being on my own. We all place our bets, and Aiden eventually flips over the first three community cards, the flop, revealing a Jack and Ace of spades and a three of diamonds.Hope builds inside me as
I don’t know what else to say. Maybe I feel like I can trust him because he knows what it’s like for me.“Azaire told me you couldn’t mindlink because you weren’t a part of their pack,” I say, not really sure where I wanted to go with that. I bite my lip and stop, as I look at a painting on one of the walls. It’s got a lot of yellow, and a few other colors faded in the corners, but the star of the show is a black heart, dead in the center of the canvas. I love it.“I’m not,” Alexander sighs, and scrunches his nose up again. “I don’t know where my pack is. Aiden has been trying to help me find it since we met, but there’s no luck. It’s like they’ve disappeared from the face of the earth.”“I’m sorry,” I mutter, and look into his black-as-night eyes. I smile a little, and press my head into his shoulder, for a
I’m pacing back and forth inside of the guest room, in Azaire’s family home. I don’t know what to do. Should I ask Alexander what his birthmark looks like? Should I keep my mouth shut about that until I know more? Uno probably knows something, right?“Holy shit, Yohanna, can you sit down? I’m trying to sleep,” Azaire’s voice cuts through my thoughts as he speaks from his own room. I sigh, and sit down on the edge of my bed.“Sorry,” I whisper, knowing he can hear me.My ears still perk up whenever my wolf-instincts know he’s near, but it’s not anywhere near as intense as the first day. We’re just now sitting on opposite ends of our shared wall, while I’m trying to figure out what to do. I’ve kept my distance from him ever since I saw it in his eyes that he wanted to kiss me yesterday. His gaze haunted me in my dreams, and I already dreamt
“How do I mindlink my pack?” I ask him, and look down towards the flowers to distract myself from him.“Why don’t we do the basics first, huh?” he says, putting his arms around my waist now. “You used your vision, right? And your hearing is getting better, so why don’t we focus on smelling today, and if you can do that, maybe we’ll see if you can use them all together.”I take a step away from him, pushing his arms away from my body, and sigh.“I just want to know where my real family is, and my pack,” I say, “I never knew this was how any of this worked, but now that I know, I just want to know if they’re out there, and if I can mindlink them, I can find them.”“Yohanna,” Azaire sighs, and closes his eyes for a second, as if he’s trying to figure out the exact words to use. “Mindlinking is pre
“How’s Alba?” I ask, attempting to change the subject, at least for a couple of minutes.“Oh! She’s great, they’re all great!” she gushes. I can tell by the way her eyes light up that she is really happy for them. “Marco was wonderful, as expected, and their little girl is doing so well! I think they agreed to call her Anna.”She continues to tell me about the baby’s weight, height, who she resembles most and everything in between as we both empty our cups, and she looks so happy, I don’t have it in me to ask if she thinks Azaire and I will end up with burning hearts over this. I can handle my own, but the thought of him suffering because of me, is killing me. Which is why I believe we’ll end up like that in the first place.Despite my wish to get to know my brother and my own pack, I do want to try to work things out with my soulmate. As crazy as it
I stare at Azaire. Did he really just say that he wants me to stay with him? As in… he won’t even consider going with me? If mate-relationships are going to be like this, with the man deciding everything, I don’t think I want to be his mate. Or anyone’s mate, for that matter.“I didn’t even say I was going,” I explain calmly, “I said I wanted to, but I want to talk about it first.”“Then talk,” Azaire demands, as he lifts his ice cold stare to look me in the eye.I cross my arms and scoff at him. He has managed to go from worried, to vulnerable and now to angry, or maybe even distant. It’s like he’s pushing himself away from me, to make it easier for him if I want to leave him. He’s a stupid jackass who should really try to control his feelings a little more.“We’ll go home to talk for a bit,” Aiden
“I don’t think Azaire will let Yohanna go that easily,” Juan says with a slight smile, “he’s become quite attached to her in this short period of time.”“But they’re not mated, or marked?” Tristan asks, and Juan shakes his head in confirmation. “Then it’s not a big deal to take her with me. She belongs with us, we’re her family.”“What if I don’t want to leave this place?” I ask before I can let my brain process that I’ve even opened my mouth at all.As soon as my Alpha turns around to look at me with his terrifying glare, my stomach drops and I feel like I should just drop down to my knees to let him know I acknowledge his power and authority. It’s ridiculous.“You don’t?” he asks, tilting his head and taking a threatening step towards me. “You don’t want to know
“No,” I say, “I have been a lot of places.”Tristan looks at me, and his expression turns back into the serious one he had before.“Like where?” he asks, crossing his arms.“I grew up in Dalen,” I tell him, and grip Azaire’s arms as he holds me. I’m not sure how my angry Alpha slash brother will react when I share with him where I’ve been, and why, so for now I’ll choose to trust Azaire a little bit more than my pack. “I was adopted by a human couple, and lived with them ‘till I was fifteen, and then I shifted for the first time, and made the mistake of confiding in them, so they kicked me out. I’ve been on my own since then.”“You’ve been alone for five years?” Tristan asks, the growl in his voice is back already, and I fight the urge to let my spine chill.“Ye
My feet carry me to the nearest window, where I can see the cars come up one by one, parking in front of the big house we’re in. The first one is a midnight blue sports car, different from the other two, who are also fast-looking cars, but they’re painted a bright yellow, and bright green. Once the cars stop, the music stops, too, and I see Paul exiting the house. He stands looking at the cars, with his arms crossed, without a doubt ordered to do so by Juan while he tends to his daughter.Azaire puts an arm protectively around me, and leans closer to the window to listen, as I feel the warmth radiating off of Alexander and Aiden, when they approach us to see, too. The blue door opens up, and a tall, broad guy with hair as black as night exits the car. His face looks narrow, but chiseled, with a five o’clock shadow barely visible under his dark locks. The door of the bright yellow car opens up, too, and a guy with matching yellow hair steps out,
“This just adds to what I’ve been saying all along,” he says, and turns to his father. “Yohanna should never have left that basement on her first day, she can’t be trusted. She is clearly not mate material, for anyone, especially not my little bro-““Alessandro,” Juan growls loudly, staring angrily at his son. “That’s enough. You are entitled to have your own opinion, but you’re not the Alpha yet, I am. And I decide that Yohanna and Alexander are both under our protection, until we know their pack has good intentions.”“Dad, she forced him to go into Rogue territory, they were found, and let go. Rogues never let anyone go, one of them must have a foot on the other side,” Alessandro protests, shaking his hands in front of him as if he’s showing us all some kind of evidence.He has a point. After what I heard, and how we prepared for
“We fight. Usually with our fists, but sometimes we go outside and shift,” he explains with a heavy sigh. “It’s a lot less frequent now that I found you, though. It used to be once a day, at least.”“And he lets you do this? How come I never see a scratch on either of you?” I ask, turning over to my side, too.“We heal up quickly,” he says, with a small smile. He then reaches over to stroke my cheek, and runs his fingers through my hair. “Small injuries like that can heal in a few minutes, maybe even seconds. But, enough of that. Who is your Alpha?”“I don’t know,” I mutter, grateful for the brief subject change, and the small amount I learned about Azaire from it. I knew he had a temper, but that they’re beating each other up on a regular basis was new to me.. And still Aiden treats him like a brother. I’ll never get how he c
I run my hands through my uneven, red hair, and take a few deep breaths. As much as I wanted to reconnect with my family, and get to know my pack, this doesn’t feel completely right. It’s like I’ve betrayed someone, but I don’t know who. Juan isn’t my Alpha, so it can’t be him I’ve betrayed. Maybe Azaire? But he’s asleep, and has no way of knowing about this at all.“It’s too late now, anyway,” Alexander sighs, and puts his arms around me in a hug. “Either way, we’re in this together, and we have Ty and Azaire’s pack, too. I’m sure they’ll all have our backs.”“Not everyone,” I whisper, and put my arms around him to return the comforting hug. “Alessandro wouldn’t hesitate to throw me under the bus.”Alexander lets out some air between his lips, and waves an arm into the air, before hugging m
“Me too,” he says, and scrunches his nose up, again. “I’ve heard them for a few days, but I thought I was going crazy, but then I heard your voice, and I tried to talk to the voices, and you responded to me! And I… I was told mindlinking takes much more skill than that, so I just assumed I was going crazy.”“I thought I was too, until I managed to put two and two together,” I say, smiling a little at the fact that we’re on the same page, finally.“You mentioned your birthmark that day we met,” he says, clearing his throat a little, “uh, can I see it?”I nod at him, and get up from my seat. I pull Azaire’s jacket and t-shirt up, and pull the hem of my pajama pants down a little, before turning around to show him the incomplete circle on the side of my hip. I see his hands ball into fists, and he reaches up to pull the collar of his black