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Chapter 15
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I’m pacing back and forth inside of the guest room, in Azaire’s family home. I don’t know what to do. Should I ask Alexander what his birthmark looks like? Should I keep my mouth shut about that until I know more? Uno probably knows something, right?
“Holy shit, Yohanna, can you sit down? I’m trying to sleep,” Azaire’s voice cuts through my thoughts as he speaks from his own room. I sigh, and sit down on the edge of my bed.
“Sorry,” I whisper, knowing he can hear me.
My ears still perk up whenever my wolf-instincts know he’s near, but it’s not anywhere near as intense as the first day. We’re just now sitting on opposite ends of our shared wall, while I’m trying to figure out what to do. I’ve kept my distance from him ever since I saw it in his eyes that he wanted to kiss me yesterday. His gaze haunted me in my dreams, and I already dreamt
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“How do I mindlink my pack?” I ask him, and look down towards the flowers to distract myself from him.“Why don’t we do the basics first, huh?” he says, putting his arms around my waist now. “You used your vision, right? And your hearing is getting better, so why don’t we focus on smelling today, and if you can do that, maybe we’ll see if you can use them all together.”I take a step away from him, pushing his arms away from my body, and sigh.“I just want to know where my real family is, and my pack,” I say, “I never knew this was how any of this worked, but now that I know, I just want to know if they’re out there, and if I can mindlink them, I can find them.”“Yohanna,” Azaire sighs, and closes his eyes for a second, as if he’s trying to figure out the exact words to use. “Mindlinking is pre
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I have been with the Kaios pack for a little over a week, now. I’ve become a little closer with everyone, but I’m still not sure who I can trust. Alexander had quickly become my best friend. It wasn’t exactly hard for him to earn that title, but still, it feels good to have someone close to me that I can talk to. I’ve actually talked to him about how well my training with Azaire seems to be going, and I’ve tried to get him to tell me what it means to be “fully mated”, but he wants Azaire to be the one to tell me. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with sex, though, so I’ve tried to keep my distance from him outside of our training. I’ve gotten better at everything, actually. I can even tune Azaire out, if I want to, now, and I can listen for the other people in his house pretty easily. Not that I’m eavesdropping or anything.Azaire said a few days ago that we can start to work on my shifting s
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She eyes me suspiciously, but lets it go. For now, I suspect. She is ready to pop at any second, I think. She and Marco has been spending a lot of time in their room, planning for the baby, probably. I haven’t seen much of them the whole week I’ve been here, and I haven’t really seen or talked to Calithea, either, or Alessandro. Ha, I still think it’s funny that their names are Alessandro and Calithea. I know Alessandro prefers to be called Alessandro, but Calithea calls him Alessandro, and that’s so cute..The people around the table starts to talk to each other again, and I smile, still, before picking up the slice of bread on my plate. I take a bite out of it, and hum a little as I chew. It’s really good. Soraya got up early to bake bread this morning, and it’s still warm as I bite into it. I have brown cheese on top, and it’s really fucking delicious. I didn’t know how much I had missed brown cheese until
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Azaire is sitting right in front of me. My head is leaned on his shoulder as I let my tears silently run down my face, making his t-shirt all wet. I don’t even take any time to appreciate his bare biceps, I just let him hold my hands tightly, and it feels oddly comforting to be near him. Not enough to let him have his arms around me, but enough to make me feel a little better. He hasn’t said anything either, he just knelt in front of me and grabbed my hands. He probably knows I listened to what he was saying in my defense to his brother, and I’m kind of glad he does, that way I don’t have to tell him what I heard.A few more moments go by as I just bask in his presence, and the smell of exhaust and the woods encapsulating our own little bubble out here in the backyard. Then a question suddenly comes to mind, and I lift my head up from his shoulder, to look at him. He furrows his brows as I do, and searches my face for some kind of hint as
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“I built a muscle car, and Aiden and I kept modifying it whenever I got restless or had some anger built up because I never found you,” he explains, still looking into my eyes.“So… you built a car because you didn’t find me? That’s… interesting,” I say, and look down at his chest. It is rising and falling evenly with his breaths, and it’s somehow making me feel like I’m drawn to him. Like I’m supposed to stay here, this close to him, for the rest of times. But my gut still tells me I shouldn’t trust him, or throw myself at him, no matter how much my body wants me to.“It seemed like the better thing to do. Before we started building the car, I trained all day, and kept breaking my bones everywhere from kicking, hitting and slamming myself against the concrete walls in the basement.”I just nod. I don’t like the idea of him hurtin
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After watching Azaire and Aiden hunched over the engine of a very sexy muscle car for more than an hour, Alexander and I went inside. I really liked the car, and I can’t wait to hear what it sounds like, revving the engine and pressing the pedal to the metal.. Alexander thought I was silly, but he grinned at me, as if he somehow knew I thought of Azaire as more attractive too, because he had a hot car.We’re sitting on their couch, watching music videos on the TV, since I need to be educated in popular culture, and everything new from the last five years. I agree, but it’s a bit much. I sigh suddenly, and turn towards Alexander, who eyes me with one of his black eyebrows arched.He has taken a liking to calling me “Yohan”, probably because Azaire already started calling me “Yohanna”. I don’t get why they need to give me a nickname at all, but I guess Alexander thinks my name is way too long for
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“No, I can’t,” he says, calmer now. He runs both his hands through his messy, dark hair, and sucks in both his lips into his mouth, before looking at me again. “I wish I could. I hate seeing you like this, it breaks my heart. I hate my mother for making me train you.”I gape at him, hurt flashing over me like a tsunami with no receding tide to warn me. Why am I so hurt by this?“Would you rather have Alessandro train me?”“Fuck no,” he growls. “He’d destroy you. He already hates you. Fuck. I’d hate my mother if she made anyone else do this, too.”He sits down on a log, and puts his head in his hands, elbows crooked up on his knees. He looks pissed off, yet so vulnerable.“Fine. Let’s get it over with. You’re not too far away from shifting completely, but when you’ve done that, we
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“Ow! It stings,” Azaire complains with a whispering voice, as I dab his face with a cotton pad soaked in some sort of alcohol-smelling stuff he said his dad gets from the witches, to help wounds heal faster.“Shut up,” I whisper back, “your family is asleep, and I’m willingly helping you do this even though you are perfectly capable of doing so yourself.”He narrows his eyes at me ever so slightly, before a smirk appears on his lips.“You were badass out there,” he says and leans in to kiss my forehead.I scrunch my nose up and look at the now-red cotton pad in my hand, instead of him. I’m not so sure that it was a good idea to run around out there with him. The way we connected out there in the forest, both being wolves and all, was extraordinary. I could feel his heartbeat, I could smell what he was smelling, so it was easy for me to find
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“How’s Alba?” I ask, attempting to change the subject, at least for a couple of minutes.“Oh! She’s great, they’re all great!” she gushes. I can tell by the way her eyes light up that she is really happy for them. “Marco was wonderful, as expected, and their little girl is doing so well! I think they agreed to call her Anna.”She continues to tell me about the baby’s weight, height, who she resembles most and everything in between as we both empty our cups, and she looks so happy, I don’t have it in me to ask if she thinks Azaire and I will end up with burning hearts over this. I can handle my own, but the thought of him suffering because of me, is killing me. Which is why I believe we’ll end up like that in the first place.Despite my wish to get to know my brother and my own pack, I do want to try to work things out with my soulmate. As crazy as it
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I stare at Azaire. Did he really just say that he wants me to stay with him? As in… he won’t even consider going with me? If mate-relationships are going to be like this, with the man deciding everything, I don’t think I want to be his mate. Or anyone’s mate, for that matter.“I didn’t even say I was going,” I explain calmly, “I said I wanted to, but I want to talk about it first.”“Then talk,” Azaire demands, as he lifts his ice cold stare to look me in the eye.I cross my arms and scoff at him. He has managed to go from worried, to vulnerable and now to angry, or maybe even distant. It’s like he’s pushing himself away from me, to make it easier for him if I want to leave him. He’s a stupid jackass who should really try to control his feelings a little more.“We’ll go home to talk for a bit,” Aiden
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“I don’t think Azaire will let Yohanna go that easily,” Juan says with a slight smile, “he’s become quite attached to her in this short period of time.”“But they’re not mated, or marked?” Tristan asks, and Juan shakes his head in confirmation. “Then it’s not a big deal to take her with me. She belongs with us, we’re her family.”“What if I don’t want to leave this place?” I ask before I can let my brain process that I’ve even opened my mouth at all.As soon as my Alpha turns around to look at me with his terrifying glare, my stomach drops and I feel like I should just drop down to my knees to let him know I acknowledge his power and authority. It’s ridiculous.“You don’t?” he asks, tilting his head and taking a threatening step towards me. “You don’t want to know
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“No,” I say, “I have been a lot of places.”Tristan looks at me, and his expression turns back into the serious one he had before.“Like where?” he asks, crossing his arms.“I grew up in Dalen,” I tell him, and grip Azaire’s arms as he holds me. I’m not sure how my angry Alpha slash brother will react when I share with him where I’ve been, and why, so for now I’ll choose to trust Azaire a little bit more than my pack. “I was adopted by a human couple, and lived with them ‘till I was fifteen, and then I shifted for the first time, and made the mistake of confiding in them, so they kicked me out. I’ve been on my own since then.”“You’ve been alone for five years?” Tristan asks, the growl in his voice is back already, and I fight the urge to let my spine chill.“Ye
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My feet carry me to the nearest window, where I can see the cars come up one by one, parking in front of the big house we’re in. The first one is a midnight blue sports car, different from the other two, who are also fast-looking cars, but they’re painted a bright yellow, and bright green. Once the cars stop, the music stops, too, and I see Paul exiting the house. He stands looking at the cars, with his arms crossed, without a doubt ordered to do so by Juan while he tends to his daughter.Azaire puts an arm protectively around me, and leans closer to the window to listen, as I feel the warmth radiating off of Alexander and Aiden, when they approach us to see, too. The blue door opens up, and a tall, broad guy with hair as black as night exits the car. His face looks narrow, but chiseled, with a five o’clock shadow barely visible under his dark locks. The door of the bright yellow car opens up, too, and a guy with matching yellow hair steps out,
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“This just adds to what I’ve been saying all along,” he says, and turns to his father. “Yohanna should never have left that basement on her first day, she can’t be trusted. She is clearly not mate material, for anyone, especially not my little bro-““Alessandro,” Juan growls loudly, staring angrily at his son. “That’s enough. You are entitled to have your own opinion, but you’re not the Alpha yet, I am. And I decide that Yohanna and Alexander are both under our protection, until we know their pack has good intentions.”“Dad, she forced him to go into Rogue territory, they were found, and let go. Rogues never let anyone go, one of them must have a foot on the other side,” Alessandro protests, shaking his hands in front of him as if he’s showing us all some kind of evidence.He has a point. After what I heard, and how we prepared for
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“We fight. Usually with our fists, but sometimes we go outside and shift,” he explains with a heavy sigh. “It’s a lot less frequent now that I found you, though. It used to be once a day, at least.”“And he lets you do this? How come I never see a scratch on either of you?” I ask, turning over to my side, too.“We heal up quickly,” he says, with a small smile. He then reaches over to stroke my cheek, and runs his fingers through my hair. “Small injuries like that can heal in a few minutes, maybe even seconds. But, enough of that. Who is your Alpha?”“I don’t know,” I mutter, grateful for the brief subject change, and the small amount I learned about Azaire from it. I knew he had a temper, but that they’re beating each other up on a regular basis was new to me.. And still Aiden treats him like a brother. I’ll never get how he c
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I run my hands through my uneven, red hair, and take a few deep breaths. As much as I wanted to reconnect with my family, and get to know my pack, this doesn’t feel completely right. It’s like I’ve betrayed someone, but I don’t know who. Juan isn’t my Alpha, so it can’t be him I’ve betrayed. Maybe Azaire? But he’s asleep, and has no way of knowing about this at all.“It’s too late now, anyway,” Alexander sighs, and puts his arms around me in a hug. “Either way, we’re in this together, and we have Ty and Azaire’s pack, too. I’m sure they’ll all have our backs.”“Not everyone,” I whisper, and put my arms around him to return the comforting hug. “Alessandro wouldn’t hesitate to throw me under the bus.”Alexander lets out some air between his lips, and waves an arm into the air, before hugging m
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“Me too,” he says, and scrunches his nose up, again. “I’ve heard them for a few days, but I thought I was going crazy, but then I heard your voice, and I tried to talk to the voices, and you responded to me! And I… I was told mindlinking takes much more skill than that, so I just assumed I was going crazy.”“I thought I was too, until I managed to put two and two together,” I say, smiling a little at the fact that we’re on the same page, finally.“You mentioned your birthmark that day we met,” he says, clearing his throat a little, “uh, can I see it?”I nod at him, and get up from my seat. I pull Azaire’s jacket and t-shirt up, and pull the hem of my pajama pants down a little, before turning around to show him the incomplete circle on the side of my hip. I see his hands ball into fists, and he reaches up to pull the collar of his black
