Chapter 5

Alaric's POV

 

I changed into a vintage shirt and a short that stopped above my knees, and rested on the bed. My hair flopped over my forehead while my spirit felt denounced.

 

Right after Alana left, something in me cracked. I had no idea why I was a dick to her or why I had to be repulsive when she hadn't done anything to deserve it. Perhaps I was trying to hide something sprouting deep in my blood, and in the process, I got rude. I began to hate every word I spilled as my mind replayed them for me.

 

In fact, now that I think of it, it was as though I was another being around her. I had felt vulnerable, and all I could resort to was being harsh. 

 

Realizing that I couldn't concentrate on anything, I snapped my eyes shut, and that didn't help either. My body remained trapped in my train of thought.

 

The door was still open, so I went there and looked out, a part of me hoping that I'd see Alana there, but she wasn't. 

 

After I slammed it close, I branched to the balcony and sat on the armless chair while staring at the evening scenery. 

 

The beauty of the view reminded me of her mesmerizing beauty. I was losing my guard again, except this time, I didn't stop myself from thinking of her. 

 

The way her hair sprawled down to her shoulders, slightly covering her face when she turned them away from me, and how she looked innocent when I was whispering those words to her. 

 

I sniffed the air, recollecting her scent of lavender mixed with cinnamon.

 

"Damn." The words escaped my lips when her petite body flashed across my sight, and my heart escaped a beat. 

 

I had only known her for a short time, and Ava, whom I've known since childhood, had not made me feel the way I felt earlier. 

 

A realization dawned on me that she was the one who made me feel tensed, not the other way around.

 

Even when my wolf wouldn't agree to it, I knew being an asshole should lessen whatever I was feeling inside me, which couldn't be explored, and neither could I be aware of it, so it was better this way. 

 

"Enough." I reprimanded my wolf for shifting our thoughts back to Alana.

 

"Babe, who are you talking to?" Ava said as she came to sit on my thighs. I was so lost in my mind that I didn't hear when she came in.

 

Heavens knew I wasn't in the mood for this, and from the way I squashed my face, she should have gotten down, but Ava, being who she is, could care less.

 

"No one." I wanted to be simple because I wasn't in the mood for a conversation. My mind was left on a battlefield with my feelings, and the fact that I didn't understand why shrouded me in more peril.

 

Ava grabbed my face and made me look into her eyes. For a second, I allowed myself to stare into her pupil, but something in there wasn't as exciting as it was with Alana. 

 

"What are you doing?" I asked, and my forehead wrinkled. 

 

"Baby, you don't look happy. What happened?" Her voice was small as she scanned my face, and I shifted away. 

 

"It's nothing. I'm just thinking."

 

Her eyes glittered suddenly, and she smiled. "Oh, I get it. It's about being the next Alpha, right? Don't worry, I'm here for you."

 

"Yeah." I said, with a dry tone, and she frowned, claiming she didn't appreciate it. 

 

"Babe, loosen up," she cooed and leaned forward to kiss me. "I have an idea. I'm going to do some shopping and want you to come along."

 

I stood up and leaned against the rails. "I'm busy. I have work to do."

 

"When I literally came in here, you weren't." She grabbed me by my arms, tugging like a child. "It won't take long. We'll be back by night."

 

"Dad wants me to fill out some paperwork, so I can't." I didn't plan on changing my mind, and she mumbled, throwing her hands in the air. 

 

"I don't understand you anymore. What's changed, Alaric? You don't want to go out with me anymore, and you're here alone, deep in your thoughts. I mean, if you really see me as your future Luna, you have to start acting like it. Why do we even have separate rooms? Why can't I sleep in the same bed with you?" While she was bombarding me with these questions, I felt sorry for her that I put her in this situation. 

 

Having made her think that we could form a bond, now I didn't want to have anything to do with her again, and I couldn't even find the courage to tell her. 

 

There's no other choice for me. 

 

"I'm just going to leave." She finished and was walking away when I neared her, clasped her by her back, and pinned her against the wall. 

 

"I'm sorry."

 

I kissed her with hunger, trying to convince myself that there was fire between us, but an image kept seeping through. 

 

Dark brown hair, gray eyes, petite body, and ravishing beauty.

 

This only deepened the kiss more, and aiming my hands under Ava's butt, she raised her legs enough for me to help her wrap them around me. 

 

Then, without breaking the kiss, I sat us on the chair and rooted my hands into her hair. Every part of me was fighting her to feel the ultimate arousal, but it wouldn't come.

 

I stopped suddenly and faked a smile at her. 

 

"You're a bad boy and would make a sexy Alpha, baby." Her hands cupped my face. "I would take this as an apology."

 

She stood up and adjusted her clothes, then her hair, which was now a mess. I watched as she walked out of my room, but when she left and I was alone again, I didn't feel my spirit depleted. 

 

"I'm fucked." I groaned at myself as I grabbed my hair and fell into the bed, wishing a familiar presence was here with me.