Chapter Four

Rayne

Denise brought me a fresh set of clothes that was in my old drawer along with everything else that belonged to me.

Granted, my clothes are all plain and not at all suitable for my 'new position' as she told me, but at least they're better than the bloodied mating dress. Besides, I don't think anyone will care about what I'm wearing.

I don't even want to think about being the Luna of MoonWater.

Once I'm dressed in my old and comfortable clothes, I sit on the bed and hug my knees. I'm deathly afraid of leaving this bedroom. I'm afraid of coming across people who will openly judge me for what I did. I'm afraid of the Betas. The First Beta is scary because of his strictness and lack of mercy but it's the Second Beta who truly terrifies me.

I wonder what he thinks of me now. He was waiting for me and even looking for me the day of the mating, so he undoubtedly knows what happened. What's going through his mind? I bet he's even angrier than before. Now, I'm not so easily accessible to him. Technically speaking, I'm above him. I don’t like to think this way because I don’t like to think of myself as Luna, but it’s the truth.

I’m not a slave anymore.

I feel a rumble inside me, strong enough to make me gasp. It's Alpha Max. I know it instinctively. I try not to tune into his feelings too much but there are times when it's unavoidable. I don't think he'll ever stop being angry about this. No, angry is not a big enough word. He's infuriated. He would kill me if he could. He's the one I’m most afraid of. He's the main reason why I won't leave this room.

Denise has only been able to give me a few bits and pieces of what's going on outside. There's a lot she's heard but she doesn't know if it's reliable and should be believed. But this is a fact: Alpha Max was supposed to mate with Alaska GrayLeaf of the GrayLeaf pack. Something happened and I ended up in her place. It was the worst of schemes. I am a villainess, the worst kind. It's all everyone is talking about.

How a slave had the audacity to mate with the Alpha.

I'm filled with shame every time I think about that day. I should have figured out that something was wrong but I didn't question it. I never thought I would have ended up mating the Alpha. If I knew that, I would run as far away from them as my legs could carry me. I would never dare to do such a thing.

Denise believes me. Maybe it's because she knows me quite well. I don't know if anyone else would believe me. Nobody came to question me about it, not even the Alpha. If he does, I'll explain it all to him. I'll tell him how I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn’t know what was even happening to start with. As a slave, I never question things. They took advantage of that.

I'll tell him I'll do everything in my power to make things right again.

Of course, that's foolish. I have no power or capacity to do anything and my offer will only irritate him more considering he's bound to me for life and there's no reversing it. Bonds are unbreakable.

But I could try. If he ever comes to question me.

It’s been three days since the mating. The bite mark around my wrist isn’t healing as quickly as it should. Denise says that it’s because of the circumstances of our bonding. Mates should be together and love should flow through their bond. Only rage flows through ours, so the bite mark is bound to fester. She has been helping me treat it but it throbs all the time.

This wouldn’t have happened with Alaska.

I think about this all the time. She’s always on my mind. Technically, I took her mate from her. I didn’t mean to, though. I’d go back in time and change things if I could.

I never saw her before but it was always said that she was beautiful. I heard it before but I was always too busy and tired to pay much attention to gossip.

I turn on my side but sit up quickly when I hear a knock on the door. I look up expecting to see Denise entering the room. She’s the only person that I’ve had contact to these past few days. There’s another knock and I realize with a sinking heart that it can’t be Denise.

She wouldn’t knock a second time.

My voice is small and quivers. I’m afraid of who I’ll see standing on the other side of the door but I’m also afraid to keep the person waiting. “Come in.”

The door opens and a woman peers at me. I stare back at her with what I hope is a blank expression but she walks further into the room.

I notice how well she’s dressed. Her dress is flowy and covered with beautiful designed flowers. Her hair is long and pushed back in a long braid. Her eyes are the most striking part of her face—they’re almost black and framed by thick lashes.

She’s beautiful.

Is this Alaska, I ask myself? Could this be the woman who’s life I ruined? I feel ashamed instantly. I feel my cheeks heating up. The woman nears the bed. I see the bangles on her arms and they move a little with every step she takes. Her expression is serious—perhaps more than mine. Her eyes never leave my face as she approaches the bed, leaving the door open behind her.

She stops a few feet away from me. She tilts her head slightly and says, “You’re very beautiful.” She stares at the clothes I’m wearing, making me feel self-conscious. Her eyes then go back to my face. “Too beautiful.”

I expect her to start yelling at me but she does no such thing. Instead, she rushes out of the room and slams the door behind her. I stare at the closed door, confused.

What was that about?

The only explanation I can come up with is that she’s Alaska. Why else would she act that way? I stand up tentatively and walk up to the vanity. I sit down and stare at my reflection in the sparkling mirror. My face is a little too gaunt and the dark circles under my eyes are prominent. My lips are dry and chapped. My skin is oily. I stare at my hands and instantly see the calluses.

Is this beauty?

I had never been told that I was beautiful before. Who would care for the beauty of a slave? A nobody? The Betas and other high-ranking members of the pack went after all sorts of girls. All us workers had this hungry look in our eyes. It wasn’t necessarily hunger for food because we had three meals a day—even if the food could have been for satiating. It was hunger for freedom and a better life, which was something that was hard to obtain.

Most of the women willingly went to the Betas rooms. They offered themselves to them in hopes that they would choose them to be their mates. That would change their lives forever. No matings between high-ranking individuals and low-ranking people ever occurred, though. It was just how things were and how they would always be.

I knew that, which was why I never approached any of the Betas. I tried to keep my head low so they wouldn’t notice me, and it worked with the First Beta, but not with the Second Beta.

Thinking about that night gives me chills. Why me? He had so many woman willingly offering themselves to him. Why did he have to single me out?

Why did things have to get so bad?

I shudder and shake my head to clear my thoughts. Presently, I have more issues than the Second Beta. There’s Alpha Max who wants to rip me apart. I won’t even mention the woman who just entered the room who might be Alaska. She was practically shooting daggers at me.

Sometime around noon, the door opens. It’s Denise with my lunch. It feels weird that she’s bringing me food. She has never served me before in all my life and now she’s the only person bringing me meals.

“Eat up,” she tells me with a grave expression. Her expression is so grave that I know she’ll give me bad news before she says it. “You’re wanted in the Alpha’s chambers.”

My heart sinks to the very tips of my toes. I shake my head, feeling despair clawing at my chest. “No,” I say weakly.

“You’ll have to be strong,” she tells me kindly. She places the tray in front of me but I don’t have an appetite. How can I eat when I’ll meet the Alpha? “Remember, he can’t hurt you physically without feeling it, too. So it’s more like punishing himself.”

“What if he doesn’t mind feeling pain?”

She gives me a look but doesn’t answer. I’m thankful for her support but I’m too scared to eat. I stare at the food and feel no hunger whatsoever. It has vanished.

“You’ll feel better if you eat.”

“I’m too nervous. I’ll just throw it all up in his presence.”

She gives me a once-over. “You don’t look presentable enough and the worst part is that I don’t know where to find you clothes.” She blinks fast as she thinks. Then, she stares down at her clothes. “Perhaps one of mine. They’re not much either, but they’re better than what you have on.”

She stands and says, “I’ll be right back.”

“Denise,” I say as she turns her back to me. She turns once again to face me. “I can’t thank you enough for helping me.”

“So don’t,” she says with a small smile.

Once she leaves, I lean against the pillows and sigh heavily. I’m not at all prepared to meet Alpha Max. I still feel his rage coursing through me. I know how he feels about me. How am I supposed to be calm about this?

This isn’t going to end well.

I feel it deep in my bones.