MaxI have been avoiding Alaska like the plague. Our first night together proved to be a disaster. I knew that in a way, my body rejected her, but I could never have guessed that things could have gotten so bad. It's angering. It's disappointing. Revolting. I can't touch her. Not without feeling the pain of a thousand swords stabbing my body over and over again.It wasn't that bad when I only held her and kissed her. I felt some discomfort, but nothing close to what I felt when I was actually inside of her. It was excruciating but I couldn't stop. I tried to tell myself that I was addicted to the pain. Telling myself that made it easier to endure it. At that moment, the pain and the pleasure of having her combined and made a powerful cocktail of emotions that I could, at that moment, take. Alaska, thankfully, didn't notice a thing. To her, everything was normal. I was the one dying. I was the one being torn to pieces.And all the while, I thought about Rayne. It's almost like the bo
RayneEveryone turns to applaud the arrival of the couple. I don’t. I stand facing Albert while the sound of cheering and clapping hands permeates the air. I drink deeply from the cup in my hand to swallow the pit forming in my throat. Thankfully, nobody notices me. Even if they did, why would they find my reaction strange?Wouldn’t it be stranger if I applauded? Waiting for the applauses to die down is painfully awkward. I keep drinking my glass and hoping that tears won’t snake down my face. I feel so out of place right now. I don’t even know where to look. “Thank you,” Max says, raising a hand. “Thank you all for being here and celebrating this special moment with us.”Because I’m standing next to Albert, I know that it’s only a matter of time before Max and Alaska walk toward us. I saw only a flash of her face and her dress, but it was enough to make me agree with what everyone always said. Alaska is stunning. There is a bright light in her eyes and smile. She just has this
RayneAlbert climbs off my body, leaving me feeling bare and exposed. I didn’t notice how the skirt of my dress was riding up my thighs. I quickly push it down while making eye contact with Max. “Out,” he barks at Albert. Albert raises his hands and glances at me before walking out. Just like that. I’m too angry at Max to be disappointed that he didn’t at least stay and argue. He just walked out. Once he and I are alone in the room, he slams the door shut, so hard that I feel the vibrations deep in my flesh. He takes a few steps toward me and asks, “Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind?”I recover from the shock of seeing him here and rise from the bed slowly. “Crazy?”“Albert?” he asks, then scoffs. “I thought you were better than that. I didn’t think you’d offer yourself up to him like a—”He cuts himself off and runs his fingers through his hair. An act of pure frustration. He turns away from me. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the alcohol coursing through my veins. Maybe i
RayneMax and I make eye contact. The pressure building in my core disappears when I stop grinding the pillow. I’m so shocked that he’s here that I don’t have time to feel embarrassed that he caught me touching myself. I have completely forgotten that he can feel everything I do through the bond. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. There is a part of me that is apologetic yet the other part—the one that only presented itself after he humiliated me the other night—is smiling. Maybe he senses it. Maybe he doesn’t. Either way, he says nothing about it. He doesn’t say anything. He nears the bed slowly. His eyes never leave my face. It’s only when he gets nearer to me that I notice how there is fire in his eyes. I stay exactly where I am, positioned on top of the pillow, as he nears my bed. It all happens quickly. He stands over me and stares down at me with an expression that terrifies yet thrills me simultaneously. Then, he grabs my chin and runs his thumb over my lips. I part my lip
MaxThey say the morning after is always the worst. ‘After’ could mean anything. For some people, it’s that terrible migraine after a full night of drinking. For others, it’s a sickening realization. Perhaps even an acceptance of something. In my case, it has the worst of meanings. I had sex with Rayne last night. I groan as I sit up in bed. I’m in my room, mostly because I avoided Alaska the night before after I came from Rayne’s room. I told her I was too tired and that I needed to get some work done and she believed me. Then again, why would she have any reason at all to doubt me?I’m supposed to be the man who would move mountains for her. I’m the man who loves her more than anything in the world. I can’t begin to explain what happened last night. I don’t know what it was that drew me to her. It was strong, so strong that I couldn’t move for a few beats. Hot pleasure coursed through me and all I could think about was her. This happened shortly after I left her room. I felt he
RayneA sickening feeling rolls around in my gut as soon as I wake up. Max and I. What we did keeps replaying over and over again in my gut. I feel the only way to get it all off my system would be to throw up but when I try to induce it, nothing comes out. I just make myself feel worse. I sit down next to the toilet and just breathe for a few minutes. My head is spinning a little and that soreness I predicted yesterday is plaguing me now. I can’t move without feeling pain everywhere, and what’s worse is how my body is scratched. I don’t even know when that happened. I didn’t feel the scratching last night. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ll never be able to leave my room. It’s not shame or embarrassment anymore. It’s something much, much bigger. The way I acted is so unlike me. I don’t even know where that side of me came from. I was a completely different person the way I acted and spoke, and in many ways I guess I wanted him to come to my room and touch me. It was all I c
Max I pace the bedroom floor as I wait for Veronica to arrive.I said I wouldn't tell anyone about what happened with Rayne but it's slowly suffocating me. I need to tell someone or I'll lose my mind. I can't trust anyone other than Veronica. I know she'll criticize me because who wouldn't, but she's my sister. She wouldn't hate me for it. She wouldn't judge my character. She's the one person who could understand all this.Veronica knows me. She knows I don’t mean to hurt Alaska. She knows better than anyone how much I love Alaska. She was the one person I went to when I first started developing feelings for her, and she’s the reason why I walked up to Alaska and confessed my feelings for her. Although she pisses me off sometimes, as siblings tend to do, the advice she gave me over the years has been invaluable. I don’t know how I’d manage to do all this without her. I’m too hot-headed and impulsive for my own good. She’s more calm about things. She doesn’t ever panic, even with imp
RayneWhen Veronica storms into my bedroom right after dinner, I’m shocked at the feral look on her face. I’m so taken aback by the aggression she’s emanating that I move backward in the bed and press my back firmly against the headboard like I’m hoping it’ll swallow me whole. “You,” she says. Growls. “Why didn’t you tell me what happened between you and Max? You sat there across from me and acted like nothing happened!”I gulp. My mouth is suddenly very dry and it is like a blowtorch is being held close to my face. “Answer me!”“I didn’t think it was my place to tell,” I inform her. “You didn’t think?” she asks, then scoffs, turning away. She stays with her back facing me for a long time. I watch her, quite unsure what to make of this. Though I did wrong, I feel humiliated. And I have to admit that there is a part of me that’s wondering what the hell she has to do with any of this. If it were Alaska confronting me, it’d make more sense. But Veronica’s anger is unjustifiable. Or m