MaxThey say the morning after is always the worst. ‘After’ could mean anything. For some people, it’s that terrible migraine after a full night of drinking. For others, it’s a sickening realization. Perhaps even an acceptance of something. In my case, it has the worst of meanings. I had sex with Rayne last night. I groan as I sit up in bed. I’m in my room, mostly because I avoided Alaska the night before after I came from Rayne’s room. I told her I was too tired and that I needed to get some work done and she believed me. Then again, why would she have any reason at all to doubt me?I’m supposed to be the man who would move mountains for her. I’m the man who loves her more than anything in the world. I can’t begin to explain what happened last night. I don’t know what it was that drew me to her. It was strong, so strong that I couldn’t move for a few beats. Hot pleasure coursed through me and all I could think about was her. This happened shortly after I left her room. I felt he
RayneA sickening feeling rolls around in my gut as soon as I wake up. Max and I. What we did keeps replaying over and over again in my gut. I feel the only way to get it all off my system would be to throw up but when I try to induce it, nothing comes out. I just make myself feel worse. I sit down next to the toilet and just breathe for a few minutes. My head is spinning a little and that soreness I predicted yesterday is plaguing me now. I can’t move without feeling pain everywhere, and what’s worse is how my body is scratched. I don’t even know when that happened. I didn’t feel the scratching last night. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ll never be able to leave my room. It’s not shame or embarrassment anymore. It’s something much, much bigger. The way I acted is so unlike me. I don’t even know where that side of me came from. I was a completely different person the way I acted and spoke, and in many ways I guess I wanted him to come to my room and touch me. It was all I c
Max I pace the bedroom floor as I wait for Veronica to arrive.I said I wouldn't tell anyone about what happened with Rayne but it's slowly suffocating me. I need to tell someone or I'll lose my mind. I can't trust anyone other than Veronica. I know she'll criticize me because who wouldn't, but she's my sister. She wouldn't hate me for it. She wouldn't judge my character. She's the one person who could understand all this.Veronica knows me. She knows I don’t mean to hurt Alaska. She knows better than anyone how much I love Alaska. She was the one person I went to when I first started developing feelings for her, and she’s the reason why I walked up to Alaska and confessed my feelings for her. Although she pisses me off sometimes, as siblings tend to do, the advice she gave me over the years has been invaluable. I don’t know how I’d manage to do all this without her. I’m too hot-headed and impulsive for my own good. She’s more calm about things. She doesn’t ever panic, even with imp
RayneWhen Veronica storms into my bedroom right after dinner, I’m shocked at the feral look on her face. I’m so taken aback by the aggression she’s emanating that I move backward in the bed and press my back firmly against the headboard like I’m hoping it’ll swallow me whole. “You,” she says. Growls. “Why didn’t you tell me what happened between you and Max? You sat there across from me and acted like nothing happened!”I gulp. My mouth is suddenly very dry and it is like a blowtorch is being held close to my face. “Answer me!”“I didn’t think it was my place to tell,” I inform her. “You didn’t think?” she asks, then scoffs, turning away. She stays with her back facing me for a long time. I watch her, quite unsure what to make of this. Though I did wrong, I feel humiliated. And I have to admit that there is a part of me that’s wondering what the hell she has to do with any of this. If it were Alaska confronting me, it’d make more sense. But Veronica’s anger is unjustifiable. Or m
RayneBrumilda looks back and forth between all three of us with her wide and round eyes. I keep staring at Max though it’s not a challenge. I just can’t seem to take my eyes off his face. He’s devastatingly handsome and I’m surprised I didn’t notice it sooner. I vividly recall how it felt to run my fingers through his thick hair and how it felt to have him hovering above me. I can almost taste his kiss in my mouth and feel the heat of his kisses down my neck. That urgency. That need. Where did it all go, I wonder? How can two people spend a night loving each other wildly only to become strangers once the sun rises?A shiver courses through me and I shudder. He does the same, only subtly. Alaska eyes Brumilda viciously before tugging on his arm. They walk past us and we wait for a few beats before continuing. Brumilda scoffs and says, “Our little Luna is pleasant, isn’t she?”“There’s no reason why she should be kind to me,” I remind her. And if she knew why I was chosen that day, s
RayneTwo whole days have passed. I can't say that much has changed apart from the fact that Brumilda comes to get me every evening for a walk. Although Veronica doesn't approve, I can’t exactly say no to Brumilda. It would be too rude and she’d wonder why I’m rejecting her very kind offer. Besides, we don’t talk about anything related to Max or Alaska anymore. She tells me about GrayLeaf—her version of it—and how she grew up surrounded by so many influential people. I didn’t know that GrayLeaf was so powerful and I almost can’t blame Max for wanting to build connections with that pack. “You must pay us a visit someday,” she says excitedly. “Oh, you’ll love it. The garden is twice as big as this one and we have so many flowers. So, so many!”I don’t think I’ll ever visit GrayLeaf but it’s nice of her to offer. When we finish our walks, we part ways and I stay in my room for the rest of the night and then the rest of the following day. But tonight is different. There is a huge pack
Rayne Just how long of a night it would be, I only found out at the very end.I keep getting looks from all of Max's inner circle. Alaska is looking at me like I'm a bug that she wishes she could kill beneath her shoe. I'm not sure why she's hating on me so much because it's Max who approached me. He's the one who spoke to me. I didn't seek him out, not actively at least.Wondering where he was isn't a crime. That means nothing to her, though. She will continue blaming me for everything that happens even though her own pack is against her. I wonder if she knows, and in case she does, if she even cares. Is her love for Max really greater than her love for her pack?It must be or she wouldn't be back here. Frankly, I'm done feeling guilty about something that was out of my control. I don't see how I can be blamed for this. I didn't ask for this to happen. I was drugged and walked down an altar to him, where I couldn't even communicate because I had been threatened. I am more and more
MaxI look around at the group of people surrounding me. I’m infuriated by what happened. The whole thing is worsened by the humiliation she feels burning right through me. My eyes are primarily on Alaska, who seems to be very pleased by what happened. I’m disappointed. This isn’t the woman I fell in love him. That woman was mature and sympathetic and the person I’m staring at now is none of those things. How can she laugh? I’m a few more angered thoughts away from standing up and leaving, but I’m aware that many will think I’m following her. Besides, this is an event that I as Alpha should be present at even though I don’t want to be here. Such parties used to be fun to me once upon a time ago but now they’re just burdensome. They’re just things I am forced to attend. It’s incredible how fast things changed for me ever since all of this happened. I’m no longer the same Max. I loved being Alpha. I loved everything about having inherited this title and being in this position. The o
Rayne Reaching MoonWater fills me with excitement and dread. The last time I was here, we were still in the middle of the war. It was Max’s idea for me to leave and go to Iron until things cooled down. I agreed because frankly, I was tired of the bloodshed. I felt I had nothing left to do but go away, and so that’s what I did. I haven’t been back since. Max and I have been communicating with each other but not as often. Our communication is mostly nonverbal. I can’t hear his words in my head or even send a message across; it’s more of a swapping of emotions. This has gotten stronger over the weeks, and now that I’m here, closer to him, I feel the bond’s strength. I exit the carriage and near the gate. I inform the guards of who I am but they don’t ask me to wait for them to call someone. They open the gates for me instantly. I walk through them, leaving the carriage behind. Everything looks as I remember, pre-war. This has to be a good sign. I continue walking until I reach the f
RayneThe war with GrayLeaf only ended with their Alpha’s death. It was Max himself who killed him. There was no way around it. He never believed it was Veronica’s doing, and when he found Albert dead, he assumed Max was the culprit. There were many casualties. My father lost men he trusted. AmberMane lost some of their own, the biggest loss being Victor. I have to admit that I thought they would hate and blame me for his death because I most certainly blamed myself, but nothing between us changed apart from the loss we now shared. I didn’t know Victor as well as I could’ve, but he’d been a friend to me, and he had helped me make myself stronger. I wish things had gone differently. I wish he didn’t have to die. Things took a long time to settle down after the war. GrayLeaf collapsed completely. The remaining members of their pack became rogues. I offered to help them but Max said it wasn’t the right choice to make. A lot of the people who remained were widows and children of the f
RayneI watch her slowly shift back to human form, hissing in pain. The arrow went straight through her shoulder. She tries to touch it but groans in pain when she touches it. I’m afraid that she’ll break it in half and slide it out but that doesn’t happen. I near her and nock another arrow. I point it straight at her face this time. “If you dare to move, I’ll shoot you.”Her eyes meet mine. Her lips are starting to get pale. “You’re going to hit me anyway, so why should I bother? You didn’t follow me all the way here to talk to me.”“You’re right, I didn’t,” I reply coldly. She shifts and cries out. I’m tempted to hit her again. Her pain is comforting to me. I want to tell her that now she knows how it feels, yet the pain she’s experiencing now can’t be compared to mine. That pain left scars that will never go away. Because of her selfishness, I’ve lost parts of myself that are irretrievable. “What are you waiting for, then?” she asks breathlessly as she tries to sit against the
Rayne Lambert changed plans halfway to GrayLeaf. He said he had a better idea. Rather than attack GrayLeaf and cause an unnecessarily high death toll, we could simply try to frame Veronica instead. He said he would speak to Albert and convince him to be in a certain place, at a certain time, where he would then confront Veronica. Naturally, this would still make him lose his place amongst his pack, but he said he never cared much for the pack anyway. He always wanted to be a rogue, where he could live life in his own terms and not have to follow strict rules all the time. I have to say that at some point, I wanted to be a rogue, too. I wanted nothing but freedom whenever I thought about my life. There are times when I forget I was even a slave, but there are others when it's all I can think about. I see myself on my knees in the middle of the grand hall, scrubbing until my fingers bleed. I'd wonder what it felt like to be free. Now that I know what it is, I realize that it comes
Max It doesn’t take long after Veronica leaves for someone to come for me. I don’t ask questions as they untie my hands and then tell me to walk. Humiliation burns inside of me but I keep it down and walk. I walk through the relatively empty dungeon all the way up the short stairs I used on my way down here. There are currently three guards behind me. Any thoughts of trying to run flee from my mind. It would be a reckless decision to make and would undoubtedly bring me more humiliation. The only thing assuring me that I won’t be killed today is Veronica’s alleged plan. She wants me to mate with her, after all, so how could she let them kill me? It all depends, of course. I try not to think too much about it as I walk outside. I take a deep breath of fresh air and instantly feel better. The air down there is stale. It felt like I was slowly being smothered to death. We’re walking toward the mansion. My guess is that there is going to be a discussion of some kind where I will once
MaxThe pain on my side has diminished considerably but the humiliation I feel is burning right through me and I can't overlook it. I'm locked in a dark cell. Thankfully, I'm alone, so nobody else has to see me being brought down to this level. So many things are going on all at once. I've been extracted from my pack, which is now vulnerable. GrayLeaf can attack at any time and we'll fall, just as they wanted it to. I don't understand for the life of me how Veronica can do this to our pack. Does she really want to see GrayLeaf winning? If so, why? And if not, then what's going through her head? I can't understand her. I realize that I never knew her at all. Helplessness plagues me. I'm here tied to a chair and unable to do a damned thing to stop her and her schemes. What's worse is that she could possibly get us all killed. Playing this game with GrayLeaf is dangerous. Does she even know what she's doing?I don’t know what to call this behavior of hers. Childishness isn’t a good
RayneThe plan we come up with is simple yet effective. I go with Iron and AmberMane to MoonWater and take over. As the Luna, it’s my right to do so. Word will spread to GrayLeaf, undoubtedly, but by then, we’ll be ready. Lambert thinks that we have to attack them first and we have to do it hard. We tell them that we only have two requests to end this war.The first request is that we want them to release Max. The second is we want Veronica. At that point, we’ll tell them everything they’ve done. Lambert will confess everything he did and they’ll probably exile him from the pack, but he says he doesn’t care about that. “Why?” my father asked him. “Why do you want to be exiled from your pack?”“I don’t have anything to do there,” was his answer. “I hate those bastards more than you do. If they hadn’t insisted on marrying her off to an Alpha, she would be alive by now.”I wanted to ask him where he would go but I figured it was too intrusive. It didn’t matter, anyway. What mattered wa
Rayne I look back at him. He’s running his fingers through his hair in despair. I’ve already pieced this together. I know why he’s here demanding this truth from me. Why he’s given me this letter to read. It makes perfect sense. The only reason why I’m not saying anything is because my own heart is shattering. I’ve doubted Max. I thought he was a scoundrel and now I have proof that he isn’t. Veronica did it all. The man gets on his knees, his back facing me. A few beats pass and then he says, “I loved her. You don’t understand how much I loved her. You can’t begin to imagine.”I lick my lips and say, “Sure I can. You literally sabotaged her mating day. You put me there just to prevent her from mating with Max.”He glares at me over his shoulder. I glare right back. I’m trying to keep an eye on him while sorting through the mess in my head simultaneously. It isn’t easy. I’m just thinking about Max and how Veronica ruined us. Tore us apart. I can’t take my attention from him entire
RayneI still haven’t decided if we’re going to go to war against GrayLeaf. I want to. I can’t say that I don’t. They’ve done enough to hurt me and I would be thinking solely of revenge if I chose to fight. The time I spent in that prison was something I’d only wish upon my worst enemy. I have lost too much because of them. I want to fight. I want to bring them to my knees. At the same time, I have no idea if it’s the right move. A leader has to think of everyone else, not just themselves. I would hate it if my father, Darla, or even Victor got hurt because of this thirst for revenge of mine. It’s not fair to them. Besides, fighting means we have to join arms with MoonWater, because otherwise we don’t stand a chance. Do I really want to get that close to Max?I’m going to have to be the one to talk to him, which is why my father said the choice is up to me. He’d probably do it if I asked, or insisted, but that’s a coward’s move. I have to be the one to do it, not him or anyone else