Chapter 2

If you had asked 20-year-old Archer whether he wanted to mate with a girl, he would have said no.

At that time, he was not that charming, powerful, “hard to resist” -- quoted from the girls who’d ever dated with him during the following 4 years; and also because, he didn’t believe he was capable to make his mate happy.

He’d never learned that. And he had no one to learn from.

His father Robert was an unawakened werewolf, never shifting in his life, almost a normal human. He lived in human’s society as an old bachelor who loved to drink, scarcely contacting his wolf relatives far in the wild. No accomplishments. No skills. Other than making woodwork that had gone unnoticed in the high-tech era.

Until he met his mother, Violet, a strong and beautiful she-wolf.

Before falling in love with Robert, Violet was a free and lonely 17-year-old rogue girl, enjoying her aimless traveling. Robert picked her up because he mistook she as a stray dog. And the fact wasn’t far off. As a half-beast without a pack or education, she lacked the basic self-care ability, even not knowing that she could sleep in the bed.

“I love bed. Daddy made the best beds, you know? "Archer always remembered the way Violet talked about Robert with a smiling bruised face, "I don't know how to live a life. It is your dad who is taking care of me. So no matter what he did to me, I’d never leave him. "

She kept her promise, never leaving her alcoholic husband until the day she was beat to death by him. That year, Archer was only 15.

To be honest, he had a presentiment about her mother's death. From a kid to a teen, he had never really understood what was going on between his parents. Robert was not strong even among human males, while Violet could transform into a tough she-wolf at any time. But whenever they had an argument, it was always Violet begging for mercy; later on, even if Robert didn't intend to do anything, he would be enraged at her undignified performance.

“Look how ashamed you are! You are my wife, not a slave! What are you kneeling for?!” Robert always cursed Violet like that while furiously banging on anything within his reach with a plank or paring knife, “Am I only worthy of an ill-mannered animal?!”

Every time he spat that out, Archer would rush out from under the table or any corner of any room, shielding his mother and pushing his father away.

“You’re a useless animal too.” With that, the drunken old man would stagger to his feet, waving his fists to beat his son and wife.

Blood.

Screams.

Desperate struggles.

His every day was made up of these. Stuck in the hell his parents had created together, life was nothing but misery to him.

To make matters worse, no one ever tried to save them. Robert built their isolated house in a remote area between the werewolf forest and the human community, with no neighbors around. And Robert wouldn't let Archer go to school, and Violet didn’t even know what school was. Archer had no friends, no resources, even no common sense to ask for help.

He couldn't count how many times he had fallen asleep to tears of anger, or how many other times he had began a new day in resentment. He resented Robert and vowed not to be twisted and abusive like him when he grew up. But to his horror, he gradually discovered that when he was frustrated, he’d have resorted to violence just like him.

And because he inherited Violet's wolf genes, he was much taller and more robust than Robert even as a kid; in fact, no one he’d ever met was stronger than him. Which means, whenever he got angry, someone would get beaten up and couldn’t fight back.

He became a bully, unwillingly. 

Thus, he resented Violet too. If it weren't for protecting her, he wouldn't have to witness how violence works every day. It was her inner weakness that turned him into a jerk he hated. 

He had asked her why she put up with Robert's unfair abuse, and she said it was for love. 

“It’s my destiny. I knew it at the first sight when I saw him.” When she gave her explanation, she was already a haggard middle-aged woman, but the expression on her face belonged to a young girl.

“My wolf chose him, not me.” She always said that, so tenderly, yet helplessly.

Her wolf was something that Archer had never seen from his birth, because Robert didn’t allow her to shift.

“It's too weird to have a wolf! And your wolf is ugly, you know that? Huh? I’ll get sick when I see her!” Cursing Violet's wolf was a reserved program in Robert's abuse routine. And after that, he’d whip her so hard as if she was his old enemy.

Archer got more confused by his parents' different attitudes towards the wolf. He totally didn’t know what a wolf means, and also, he didn’t know he would had a wolf.

But Leo still came to him, right after he watched Violet breathe her last under Robert's continuous heavy punches.

In his memory, it was a bloody and blank day.

As usual, Violet sobbed and whimpered, cowered with her head in her hands. As Robert's whip came down, her back bled like blood. She screamed.

Another thrash! Her ear was crooked.

The third whip struck her on the back of the neck, and there was a unusual cluck in her throat.

Archer rushed over and held her from behind, taking the fourth lash for her. He thought she would scream in panic, but heard no sound.

His hand touched the gurgling blood out of the deep wound on her neck. So without turning her over, he knew he’d lost his mom forever.

Grief and hatred completely overwhelmed him at once. He felt nothing. Realized nothing. Thought of nothing.

When Archer regained consciousness, Robert faced down on the ground, covered in blood, and his ear was in Archer’s furry mouth.

He took a step backwards in shock, and transformed back into his human form. And then, he sensed Leo panting inside of him.

Letting out of a fearful shout, he fled into the werewolf forest.

A beast was living inside of him. This was the most horrible fact that he had to accept.

He was constantly aware of its dangerous and violent scent, the scent similar with Robert’s that Archer knew so well. Which conformed that he was the same beast as that bastard.

However, there was no way turning back. Luckily and chaotically, he met Robert's relatives, who helped him resolve some confusion about werewolves in a disappointing way.

Living with his uncles, Archer only found both men more like wolves and men more like human were mostly the same assholes. They didn't do housework. They didn’t love their wives. They only fuck them when they have the sex drive.

And when they had children, they used their busy schedules as an excuse to avoid their parenting obligations; even worse, if anything went wrong with their pups, they’d scold and violently beat their overworked wives.

“Why do you have to marry a woman if you don’t love her?” Archer asked one of his uncles. And to his surprise, his uncle threw the question back to him, “What is love?”

Archer thought it over, “My mom said it was a mate bond.”

"Hmm. The mate bond is nature, kid. The moon goddess guides us to mate with she-wolves. We have no choice."

It explained Violet’s answer, but -- "How do you know which one is the mate assigned to you? "

His uncle chuckled as if it was an absurd question, "Our wolves would tell." He pointed his head with his finger, "When you smell your mate, he purrs inside. Don't you have a wolf, boy? "

Archer was silent for a moment before nodding reluctantly. He had forced Leo to sleep deep inside for a long time.

His uncle sniffed him, "Seems like a big lad. Why don't you shift for me?"

Archer squeezed an answer out of his teeth, "It hurts. And...I’ll be out of control."

The old man laughed louder, “A wolf shouldn’t be controlled! We just live by nature.”

I doubt it. Archer muttered in his mind.

That night, when he once again heard his uncle beat his wife to tears and blood, he left.

Archer became a rogue voluntarily, wandering from one pack to another. And by this time, the melee among the wolves had already broken out for a long time.

The constant war made all the wolves bloodthirsty. Attack. Robbery. Murder. Rape, of which the victims were not only she-wolves. All kinds of evil crimes forced Archer to learn to use his wolf for self-protection.

But Leo did not get along with him. He didn't understand why Archer rejected him, so sometimes he disobeyed the call when Archer was fighting with other wolves for food or a place to sleep; and other times, he fought with Archer for controlling his body. Both making Archer suffer a lot.

After losing a battle again, Archer banged his head against a wall in frustration and yelled at Leo who was also raging inside him, "What the hell do you want from me?! Aren't you my nature? Why do you have to go against me?!"

Leo sputtered angrily, "Because you hate me! You hate yourself! You never use our best in a fight!"

"I can't. I'll kill them. I've almost killed someone before!"

"But they are your enemies. If they don't die, it's us who die!"

"Oh yeah? So my dad killed my mom also because if she didn't die, it would be him who died?"

Leo didn’t answer this time.

"What’s the difference? Huh?” Archer grunted in annoyance and threw himself onto the muddy ground, “Both are violence. Is it in the nature of males? You believe that?"

“I’m not sure.” Leo said blankly, “We’re wolves, aren’t we? Wolves are violent.”

“You are, but I’m a human.” 

“Yeah? Like your dad? He’s a beast too.” sneered Leo.

It was Archer’s turn to be speechless.

He felt utter loneliness. He and his nature were locked in the same body, but loathed each other.

"Maybe yes, I am indeed a beast, just like him. " Archer finally muttered.

Leo grunted. Archer could even imagine how he rolled his eyes, “I don't understand what you're suspecting! But--" his stormy breath suddenly calmed down, "--if you're not sure, we can go find out together. I am your wolf, and I can only listen to your heart."

Archer's heart defense was knocked out by these words. And finally, he started switching to a real young adult.

“Yeah.” He agreed with his wolf for the first time, “And I think at least we can stop using violence against each other.” 

He confessed to Leo, “You have no idea how much I wish to eliminate my violence inside.”

But, although with 4 years of self-restraint, when he met Elena as a respectable Alpha, his wish hadn't been really fulfilled.

And no one had really realized it.