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07. Strong
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2020-09-10 00:56:44"If it comes, let it. If it goes, let it."
~UNKNOWN
I am staring at my reflection in the mirror. I've changed into the bride's dress.
In Rose’s dress.
It is a floral A-line gown, with a sweetheart neckline and lace straps That reveal a deep V-back. The dress is stunning. But it is more of Rose’s preference than mine. It is a little tight for me. Rose was tall and had a killer model like figure. Then there is me, I'm short and curvy. All that food has to go somewhere, right?
The dress is attached to me like a second skin. My breasts are dying to spill out, much to my dismay because of the deep neckline. I feel a little uncomfortable. I shake off the thoughts and smooth the fine lines of the dress. I retouch my makeup, Bridget did my hair. Mom handed me a bouquet of red roses.
How comical.
They are sobbing silently. I am just numb, unable to process how things took such a drastic turn. One minute I was headed to the bride's room to help her and the next minute I stand in front of the mirror as the bride myself. A soft knock on the door interrupts my thoughts. It's Everett he looks at me with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry baby." he whispers looking down defeated. I pull him into a tight hug. That will make him feel better, I know.
"Everything's fine now Everett." I assure him and kiss the side of his cheek. "We're safe" I smile at him, he looks up at the ceiling trying to hold back his tears.
"You look beautiful." he compliments with a sad smile. I nod in acknowledgement. We both stay silent for a minute, I know he wants to stop me but that's not possible, so many lives are at stake. "Let's go." he says motioning me to take his arm.
"Where's dad?"
“He will meet us at the church.'' He responds opening the door. We exit the house and find a limousine parked in front of the house. Everett helps me get in the car then takes a seat beside me. I drift back to my screaming thoughts that were not ready to let me live in peace, even for a minute. How bad would it be marrying a total stranger and shifting to another country, far away from your loved ones. To top it all off, he is a mafia leader. Not bad I think, I sigh.
I don’t know anything about the man that I'm getting married to in a matter of few minutes time. Apart from his name and the little information I got from Everett. I am scared to ask more about him. ‘He's a beast’, Everett said. To be honest I want to keep it this way. The little information is already hard to register. With more information, I don't trust myself that I will be able to walk down the aisle.
Valentina stay strong. I motivate myself.
Yes, Strong! that is the word that I'll always remember. This word will give me strength to make it through every situation. After all, my name Valentina means strong. I wasn't named Valentina just because my parents loved the name. Oh no! They gave me the name because of a reason. They always said I have been a strong child. I was strong since I was in my mother's womb. They told me how many complications mom had while carrying me but I still managed to make it to this world. Even after I was born, I was a very small and weak baby, The first 6 months after my birth were very hard, I caught on an infection which spread on my skin. I used to cry all night, my poor parents stayed up countless nights, running to different hospitals. Praying that I get health. Gradually, I began to get healthy. Dad always tells me, it was the most tough time of their lives, to watch their baby cry and be unable to do anything. But, I stayed strong. I managed through the pain even when I didn't even understand anything.
I always look up to dad and Everett. I wish to be like them. I admire the way they both take care of their families, how they provide for us, love us. As I was growing up, I always fought my problems that stood in my way, I never cowered away. I analyzed the situation and worked on a solution. Panic and disappointed was never my thing. I liked to be calm in any nerve wrecking situation. It made it easy for me.
Whether it was a test that I didn't study for, mom catching me in trouble or any other situation. I always reminded myself to stay strong and calm. Sometimes sarcasm helped too. This is what I'm going to do this time as well. I'll face this as I faced other things in my life. My life has always been normal, no tragedies or abusive childhood, I've been blessed to have such good people around me. But the new life I'm about to enter no doubt carries violence and bloodshed. The thought alone makes me shudder, seeing killers in movie is one thing but staying with them is another. They are mafia people this is their life and soon would be mine too.
I am preparing myself so that it will be easy to accept my new life and family. Acceptance plays an important role in everybody's life. The sooner I accept my destiny the easier it will be to live with them. My acceptance does not mean that I justify their lifestyle. No, that is not possible for me, whatever happens I'll always make sure to keep the old Valentina alive.
I know this new lifestyle is going to be difficult, but I'll remain STRONG.
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