08. I Do

"Eye contact, how souls catch fire."

~YAHIA LABABIDI

The car halts in front of the church. I was so busy in my thoughts that I didn't even realise how fast we reached, I look at the church through the window, it is small but beautiful. It is located in a secluded area, away from prying eyes. This is the place from where everything is about to change the moment I step inside. I will step inside as a normal girl, but will walk out with a new identity and purpose. I will be a married woman, wife of a mafia leader.

Everything is going to change forever.

Am I ready?

Am I willing to sacrifice my happiness, freedom and family for an agreement?

Yes! Definitely yes, I'll do it for my family. I'm not as brave as Rose, I cannot run away and not think about my family. I would be worried sick, it would be impossible to move on, I would always have guilt eating me up. I may be strong but this is something I can never do. Family over everything I believe. Everett opens the door for me, he holds out his hand. I shut my eyes briefly, processing it all one last time.

I'm ready.

I gently place mine in his extended one. He helps me out of the car. The dress trails behind me. We start walking towards the entrance. It seems to take forever to reach the stairs. I feel like, each of my feet are tied down by 100 kg of weight. Each step has my heart racing wildly. Second thoughts begin clouding my mind. 'you still got time Tina', my subconscious suggests, 'turn around and look what you are leaving behind, your FREEDOM', 'He is a mafia lord Tina, he's cruel', I stop midway to catch my breath.

"Tina?'' Everett asks concerned. 

"I'm fine.'' I force a smile.

You cannot back out now Tina. I give myself a prep talk clearly ignoring my subconscious. Your brother's life is in danger, think about Mom, Dad, Bridget, William. Oh, William! He is just a kid. He needs a family more than anything right now.

"Let's go'' I pull Everett's hand to move, he has stopped and is looking at me sadly. We enter the church, I feel like my heart is about to explode any minute. I am trying to regulate my breathing without making Everett notice, which is clearly hard. Dad is standing at the corner, he is staring at the statue of an angel, deep in thought. "Dad'' I call for his attention, he hesitantly turns to look at me. His eyes are red, he's been crying.

"Princess'' he closes the distance between us. He cups my face with trembling hands "you are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen.” 

A lone tear escapes my eye, I chuckle, "and you are the most emotional dad I've ever seen.'' I try to lighten the mood, we both chuckle softly.

"I'm sorry.'' Everett's voice cracks.  

"Ever..'' 

"No Tina, let me say this, please'', he begs with his eyes, I let him take it off his chest. "I'm sorry, Tina. I could not be the best brother. I'm sorry, that I failed and disappointed everyone. It was my duty to keep you all safe, but.. I am the worst son, husband, father and brother'' his eyes glimmer with tears at the last part, he wipes them away before they can escape.

"Shh!! You are anything but a disappointment.'' Dad pulls us both in a bear hug and kisses our foreheads.

“Let's do this.'' I say and receive small smiles in response. Standing at either side of me, they both take one of my arms in theirs. I want both of them to walk me down the aisle. I don't care what the traditions are. Nothing is happening according to my choice, at least one thing should happen as I desire, it is my wedding too. The doors open. I can't help but let out a shaky breath. Dad rubs soothing circles at my back, that felt better. I stare down at my feet the whole time as we walk down the aisle. I am unable to look around me. I know, one glance around and I'll fall apart, I can feel the piercing gazes of everyone on me. There are not many people, just my family, Angelo, Antonio and their guards.

You can do this Valentina, you are strong.

We finally stop at the end, so does my heart for a brief second. This must be the hundredth time that my heart stopped in the past ten minutes. I'm surprised that I'm still alive.

This is it.

In front of me stands the priest and my future husband. I still have my gaze down. Dad takes my right hand and moves it forward. My eyes follow my hand, another big and strong hand comes in my view.

Alessandro.

Dad gently places my hand in the outstretched one of my future husband.

I close my eyes.

As soon as our skin comes in contact, he firmly clasps my hand, my eyes open quickly. My heart dives into my stomach and comes back to it's place. With all my remaining strength, I lift my eyes to look into his.

My breathe hitches.

Stormy grey eyes stare back at my soft hazel ones. We both stare at each other. His piercing eyes are like a raging storm. They resemble like the grey angry clouds that come before it rains heavily, with thunder in them. They are blank but I find myself lost and mesmerized by them. He has a firm but strong grip of my hand. His hand is so big compared to my small one.

Someone clears their throat pulling us both out of our trance. He is observing me in the same way that I am observing him. He gently tugs my hand, motioning me to step forward. I climb the two small steps and stand opposite to him, facing each other. We both gaze at each other for a brief moment then he turns his attention towards the priest.

The priest addresses the guest and begins the ceremony. I don't give much attention to what he says, I'm too busy observing Alessandro. He is gorgeous. No, he's breathtaking. No, he's beautiful! what happened to me? I ask myself in disbelief. He is handsome, there is no doubt in that, how can I not compliment this handsome devil? That would be a shame. He is like a mythological Roman God. With his tan skin, Straight nose, High cheekbones, His jaw...

Oh my..

It can slice through a thin paper that's how sharp his jaw is. He is 6 feet tall, I would have to raise my head to look at him, I am nothing compared to him. He is muscular, more muscular than Antonio and Angelo. It suits him, it compliments his intimidating and mysterious aura. My gaze flicker towards his stormy orbs that have left me mesmerized from the second I stared into them. His eyes, they are so cold and emotionless. When we first stared into each other's eyes, he had no sign of emotion in his, they were blank. It makes me restless. How can someone's eyes be so..

So empty?

He doesn’t glance at me even once during the rest of the ceremony and there is me, who could not move her eyes from this fine specimen, who is to be my husband soon. I feel happy for the first time after all the chaos. At least I'll have a handsome husband, I hold back my Chuckle. It is pretty clear he is also being forced in this marriage like Rose was. He is so ready to get done with the wedding and move on in his life, like it is a simple business meeting he is attending.

But why would a mafia leader be forced to marry someone?

The priest's voice cuts through my thoughts. "Alessandro Romano, do you take Valentina Smith to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?", Antonio translates the vows in Italian to Alessandro. I didn't even notice Antonio and Angelo standing behind him the whole time. I was so caught up figuring out this mysterious man in front of me.

I am confused, does Alessandro not understand English?

"Lo voglio" (I do) came his deep voice.

I think he agreed. His voice is so deep with a thick accent, he is Italian after all. I swear an electric shock went through my whole body when I heard his rich voice. His voice is as hard as his personality. I think I'm fan girling too hard. This little moment of humor has calmed my nerves. It is time for me to say those two words, the words that will tie me to this man for the rest of my life until death do us apart. After I utter those words, I'll be part of the most dangerous mafia in the world. My life will take a 180° turn.

The priest turns to me, he repeats the vows. "Valentina Smith, do you take Alessandro Romano to be your wedded husband, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him, for as long as you both shall live?"

My mind is pulling me in 2 different directions. One is pushing me to accept my new life and the other is reminding me of how big of a mistake I am making. The priest gives me an annoyed look, I am taking more time than usual. He probably has more weddings to officiate, that's why he looks in a hurry. I glance at Alessandro, he is looking straight over my head, not even a single glance at me. Is this how my life is going to be? Him ignoring me till eternity.

I take a deep breath, "I do'', I say softly. Alessandro's eyes shift to me as soon as the words leave my lips. He seems surprised, but it goes as fast as it comes, maybe I'm being delusional. Suddenly, he grabs my left hand and pulls it towards him. I stare at him in panic.

What is he doing?

He slips in a beautiful diamond ring on my ring finger, it is so beautiful. It is slightly tight. After all it was Rose's size, not mine. The thought makes me sad but I brush it off. It’s a big diamond, I prefer small dainty one’s but I don’t think my opinion matters any longer. Mom hands me a ring. I hesitate to grab his hand, he extends it by himself, at that moment I realise that my hands are trembling.  It is definitely not because of love at first sight, I am nervous and scared. I slip the ring on his finger without holding his hand. It is a simple band. I retreat my hand quickly.

All this time he stands there emotionless.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride'' the priest announces, my breathe is caught in my throat. That god damn priest! now he is not late for his other weddings?

Alessandro leans in towards me. His eyes are now set on me. Is this necessary, should I stop him? I tightly clutch the sides of my dress. I close my eyes and think. But what he does surprises me. He gives a quick peck on my left cheek, barely even touching my skin with his lips and backs away.

I open my eyes in shock, his stormy ones already fixated on me, penetrating my soul.