Chapter 5

A young werewolf, maybe about sixteen, came by with a tray full of food. I ate very little, because these days I’m never hungry anymore. Edric tried to get me to eat more, but I managed maybe half a plate, if that.

Later, Doc came by, handing me two pills, which I took without even thinking about it. Usually, I’d question anything and everything werewolves did, but for some reason I trusted these wolves. Especially Edric, even though he has given me absolutely no reason to trust him…but then, he didn’t give me any reason to mistrust him.

I don’t really know what happened.

I fell asleep an hour later, and when I woke up, I wasn’t in human form anymore. My wolf took control while I slept. I didn’t even know she could do that. Shifting hurts – not as much as it did the first time, but I still feel it every time. You’d think I’d have woken up when I shifted, but I didn’t. I slept through the whole thing.

I look at Edric through my wolf’s eyes. He’s sitting in the chair next to the bed, long legs stretched out in front of him, resting his cheek on his fist, and thank God, he’s asleep, completely unaware that I have shifted. * Let go, * I order my wolf. * Let me shift back! *

She laughs. Laughs! at me. ~ No. You want to take us away from our mate. I won’t let you. ~

* I won’t leave. I swear. *

~ Liar. We share a mind. I know what you’re thinking. ~

Then why on earth do I never know what she’s thinking?

~ Because you won’t let me in, ~ she answers me.

Edric stirs, and panic stars to overwhelm me. If he wakes up and sees my wolf’s colour, our eyes, he’ll know. * Shift back! Now! *

~ No. ~

Edric’s head falls off his hand and he jerks awake. * Please! * I beg. * He can't know. I'll do anything, just shift back. *

My stubborn wolf doesn’t even answer me this time.

It takes him a while to register what he’s looking at. He’s not afraid, just appears confused, and a little amused. “Why did you shift?” he asks. “Do you plan on running again?”

How am I supposed to answer him? My wolf jumps off the bed and puts her head on Edric’s lap. Fucking traitor. He drops his hand and runs it over her neck. I can feel his touch, but he’s not touching me, he’s touching her. ~ Us, ~ my wolf offers unhelpfully. ~ He’s touching us. ~

Yeah, what the fuck ever. What am I gonna do now? He will hate me now, lock me away now that he knows what I really am. Something that shouldn’t exist.

 “You are beautiful,” he says, awe in his voice.

Okay, I did not see that coming. I have to admit, his words do make my heart beat a little faster with joy. My wolf let out a soft whine, then sits back and looks up at Edric.

At some point while I slept he had put on a shirt, which he now takes off again. He’s fucking gorgeous, every cut of his muscles perfect, rippling as he pulls the shirt over his head and puts it next to me.

What is he doing? Is he gonna shift?

He goes on his knees in front of me, looking me straight in the eye. “Can you shift back so we can talk?”

How in the blue hell am I supposed to answer him? I can’t. * Shift, you fucking bitch! * I yell at my wolf.

She doesn’t answer me. Can she even hear me? My wolf lies down, putting her head on her front paws. Submitting to him. Submitting to a man. A wolf. How dare she?

“What’s going on, Maya?” he asks softly. “Did you lose control of your wolf?”

“Yes!” I yell, and it comes out of my wolf’s throat as a whine.

“Okay,” he nods, and sits back on his haunches, never taking his eyes off me. “We’ll just sit here until you’re ready to turn back.”

* Please, * I ask my wolf again, almost crying now. * I swear I won’t leave. * I think I mean it this time. Edric’s kind of perfect, and the thought of leaving him is strangely painful.

~ Do you promise? ~

* Yes, * I say, desperate.

I can feel her let go, and immediately I shift back before she changes her mind, biting down as the dull pain echoes through my body. Edric immediately turns his back on me. “Put on my shirt,” he says.

My own clothes lie in tatters on the hospital bed, and I don’t have any clean clothes in my backpack, which had appeared by the foot of the bed. I have little choice. I pull the long-sleeve over my head, and sigh softly as his scent folds around me like a warm hug. It’s the smell of the air just before it starts to rain, the woods on a sunny, summer’s day, with just a hint of sweet vanilla.

I glide my eyes over his smooth back, the broad shoulders, muscles flexing under the skin, the way his jeans smooths perfectly around his narrow waist. Damn it all to hell. Why did I have to run into his territory of all places?

“You done?” he asks, suddenly, and a shiver runs down my spine as his deep voice washes over me like warm honey.

“Yes.” The oversized shirt reaches down to the middle of my thighs, so at least all my niggly bits are somewhat covered.

But that’s not what bothers me. Nothing robs you of your dignity faster than living homeless and in the wind, so people seeing me naked stopped bugging me years ago. What bothers me is that my contacts popped out when I shifted, and there’s no way I’ll be able to find them again. Not that it matters all that much – he already saw my wolf’s eyes. But what about the others?

I stick my hand under my hair, feeling for the spot where Doc had put in the stitches, but I touch only smooth, healed skin. Well, at least one good thing came from my wolf shifting against my will.

Edric turns around, and crosses his legs under him, staring at me in wonder and bewilderment. “Do you wear contacts to hide the colour of your eyes?”

I nod. My eyes are distinctive, and it’s the first thing most wolves notice. Light silver-grey, but when I’m in wolf form they glow silver-blue, like the full moon.

“Why?” he asks like he doesn’t know the answer to that question.

“You know why. You summoned me here for a reason, didn’t you?” I take a chance. I know I’m wanted, I just don’t know why. Maybe he’ll tell me.

His eyebrows shoot up, but his voice is calm when he speaks. “Why did you shift?”

“I didn’t. My wolf took over.”

“Your wolf…you can’t control her?”

“Usually I can. It’s never happened before. Does it ever happen to you?”

He looks very worried when he answers me. “Once, when I was younger, before I learned how to control the shift…it happens to younger wolves, not adults. Didn’t your parents teach you how to control the shift while you sleep?”

“My parents are humans.”

Edric doesn’t believe me. I can see it on his face. “Bullshit,” he says bluntly.

“Believe me or not. I’m telling you, my parents aren’t werewolves. The day after I shifted the first time, they kicked me out.”

“Maya that cannot be--” his voice rises at least two octaves --“that’s not how it works. It’s genetic. Werewolf genes are passed on from parents to their pups.”

I shrug. “I don’t know what to tell you. They know about werewolves, if that makes you feel any better.”

He frowns, worriedly chewing into his bottom lip. “It really doesn’t. What about your grandparents? Are they wolves?”

“I never met them.”

“Jolie was right,” he says. “The Fates really are fucking twisted.”

“What are The Fates?”

“You don’t know…no, of course you don’t…they are the forces used by the Moon Goddess to shape events so we can fulfil our destinies, among other things.”

“Like the Greek myths?”

“Ours are real,” he says, staring at me with worry in his eyes, then just sighed. “Do you want to go upstairs and get cleaned up?”

I do. I haven’t had a decent shower in months, washing in freezing mountain streams or dingy public bathrooms. “What if someone sees me? My eyes?”

“Everyone’s probably asleep by now. As for your eyes…don’t hide who you are. Be proud. Hold your head high. You are my mate, Maya, I’ll never let anyone harm you. I’ll always protect you…or die trying.”

My heart lurches, expands until it feels like it can’t contain the unfamiliar emotions filling me up. “Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Why would you die for me?”

He stares at me again, his mouth open, not even trying to hide his confusion and amusement anymore. Laughing he stands up, and holds both his hands out to me. I don’t even think about it. Putting my hands in his feels like the most natural thing in the world. “You really don’t know a thing about our world, do you?”

I’m not completely clueless, I’ve picked up a thing or two over the years, but I don’t tell him, because he pulls me into his arms, and it’s all I can do not to climb him like a tree.