Chapter 5

     “Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.”― H.G. Wells, The Wife of Sir Isaac Harman.

    

   

 Vanessa seems to be in a hurry and that didn't surprise me. She probably has bunch of things in her to-do list, I'm sure, like manicure or spending her daddy's money but something is keeping her from telling Isa what she came here to say.

“What's up?” Isa replied casually, as if she knew what Vanessa was upto and was urging her to say it already. But Vanessa kept silent and her eyes flickered to us: me, Penny,and Sam. Even though Sam pretends she is scrolling her phone, I know she is listening. I can imagine what Vanessa is thinking when she sees the three of us-Peasants. Girls who would never fit in her glamorous world, and I felt self conscious under her intimidating gaze. Even after a few moments of silence, Vanessa refrained from saying anything, alternating her eyes between us and Vanessa. But Isa seems to understand her. “Oh! Whatever you might want to say, you can say it infront of them. They are my friends.” 

They are my friends, those words were like honey to my ears, and I kept replaying them again and again. Knowing Isa is not ashamed to be seen with us elevated some of my tension.

“Ok.” Vanessa gave Isa ‘I warned you’  look and continued, “You are really pretty.” She smiled and stared to finger Isa’s curls.

“O..K.” Was Isa’s reply. “Should I like thank you?”

“No bebe.” ¿Bebe?Bebe?! Where did she know her? And why would she call my friend ‘Babe’?

“I heard you used to be a cheerleader in your old school, and T..,” she said Tanina’s initial with disgust I couldn't fathom, since they are in the same social  circle, “.. is sick so, we need a new member for cheerleading.” I moved a little to see Isa’s reaction, and her eyes sparkled. “Practice stats after school, at 4. Don’t be late!” With that she went away. She didn't even ask Isa’s consent on the matter; She just told her and expected her to obey. When Isa turned around, her face was void of emotion, and she assessed all of us.

“So what are you going to do?” Asked Penny.

“I don't know.” Isa shrugged, but I know she wants it. She wants it so bad; I can feel it ,but I don't have the heart to tell her to go. “I mean I love cheerleading..,” but she hesitated and her mind was telling her the reason why she shouldn't do it. “The practice is after school. Who would take Cassi home?” She pointed at me and her reason for not doing it sounded lame, but she didn't want to accept the offer and be labeled ungrateful by us.

“It's ok.” I said in a weak voice. I don't want her to lose this because of me and curse me forever for making her lose this opportunity. “Don't worry about me,I will be fine.”

“Who would take you home?” She asked.

“I have been going home just fine before you came. I would use the bus or walk.”

“Walk! you can't walk all the way back!” Isa scolded.

“I would do whatever,” now I'm looking straight in her eyes, “Do it,it's a great opportunity.” I said, attempting to smile. She was on me then. Isa hugged me so tight I couldn't even lift my hands to hug her back. I know I’m doing the right thing, but I feel sad and jealousy started to creep in my mind. I learned here all my life and the next day she came, Boom! She is a cheerleader. I don't resent her for it; she's amazing but the whole thing makes me hate myself about the things I would never have, and the jealousy made  me hate myself even more.

“I am so happy.” Isa  grinned and before I congratulated her, the bell rang and rescued me from this awkward situation. 

“I need to go.” I said and got to my class real quick without even saying goodbye. 

When lunch time came, I went outside texting everyone that I have an assignment and wouldn't be able to join them for today. I just couldn't bring myself to look at Isa, I just couldn't. The things I’m feeling are beyond me; I didn't even eat my lunch that mom prepared early in the morning, sacrificing her precious time and I also skipped dinner. After I returned home-Walking ,Ya the sun was hot but I walked thinking how miserable I was, I heard a knock at my door. I didn't attempt to answer. I figured if I stayed silent, whoever it was would just go but I heard the door creak and soft footsteps I immediately recognized as my mom’s.

“You didn't eat dinner, and you were in your room all the time. What's wrong?” She sounded so concerned, and she came to my bed and started stroking my hair. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” How much I want to take the offer and bear my heart to her but what would I say? I don't even know why I’m behaving like this, so I simply replied,

“I have a bad stomach, Nothing serious.” I added before she flips into doctor Davis mode. “I just need to sleep.”

“Where does it hurt sweety? Tell me.” She removed my bed sheets and put her hands on my stomach and forehead. “You don't have a fever but…,”

“Mom!” I groaned. “Please I just need some rest, Please,” I was begging her in my eyes. If she stays here another minute, I will tell her everything and I know I would regret it.

“Ok,fine.” She said getting off the bed. “Good night then.” After she tucked me in and kissed my forehead, she left. 

I couldn't sleep. I was hungry. and sad but I made no attempt to grab any snacks, so I started to stalk Justine’s I*******m Account. His last post was 10 days ago on a beach ,somewhere in spain. The caption reads ‘Happy’ and he seems happy. He was smiling widely, showing his abs to the world; I'm sure his smile would reach his eyes if they were not covered by blue shades. When I was touching his face on the screen, my phone rang in the quiet and dark room, startling me. It was Isa, probably to tell me how practice went and how she would leave me to be with her new fake and glamorous friends. So I did the only thing I knew too well, I ignored her.

The next morning I told my mom I needed to go to school early because of an assignment and left the house pretty early; I couldn't risk running into Isa on the road. I continued to hide from everyone till lunch time. My phone has a bunch of notifications and messages from Penny and Isa. Even from Sam. Penny’s texts range from worried ones to angry ones; her last text was 20 minutes ago.

If I don't find you at lunch time, I will have a search party organized.

And I knew she would go through with the treat, so I went to our spot when the bell rang for lunch. I knew I couldn't hide forever and my behavior would raise suspicion; I made everything worse by deciding to hide, but I did what I felt was right at the time. When I reached my destination, no one was there. I didn't have to wait for long though because I felt Penny hugging me from behind, her short frame restricting her from kissing me on the cheeks.

“Where were you?” She asked, letting me go to come in front of me.

“I had an assignment.”

“What assignment?” Penny didn't buy my excuse at all.

“Leave her alone Penny.” Said Sam, giving me a small smile. Penny and Sam are different in every thing that matters, but they are really close. Sam understands when I don't want to talk and she always saves me from Penny. Sam has this ability to read people and it's with her that I survived Penny's long lasting questions till now. 

“Where have you been? And why weren’t you answering your phone?” Asked a very furious Isa. She was panting and taking a huge gulp of air between every word she spoke. I guess she ran as soon as she saw us. Before I came up with a reply she continued, “I thought you were hurt! The only reason I haven't called the police was because your mom said you were fine.” 

“You called my mom?” I was petrified. When I get home I know I will get an earful from my mother.

“Of course I called your mom!” Then something came to her mind, and she gasped loudly. “I almost forgot why I needed to talk to you with all your drama.” Now that hurts. I didn't do anything to get attention, or create a drama but her next words stopped me from dwelling on what she said, “You wouldn't believe what I heard Justin say in the locker room.” And only hearing his name was enough to push my heart to the pit of my stomach.