Chapter 3

Ava;

Fury

Pain

And disgust

I felt all those emotions in seconds.

For years now, I made myself believe I could finally face him. Finally look into his eyes without shivering in fear. I thought I finally got rid of my fear but it was all lies. Since it turns out five years later my body was still scared of the man that ruined my entire life.

Five years had passed yet the memories felt so vivid and felt so...real.

"Ava!" Laila called with urgency as I walked past the counter without sparing her a glance. She figured out already...she figured out I was with him and I could feel it from her voice.

Laila is the only werewolf that knows about my family and the only wolf that knows the reason I chose to stay in Shadow Pack. The reason why I decided to come to my enemy's lair when I should have stayed hidden from him since he was still so hell-bent on finding the child of the Alpha he had cruelly murdered.

Five years have passed yet I could still hear the rumors circulating about how he was still searching for me. He would never have thought that I was right under his nose for years now and I never would have imagined I would be in a position where I would have to stoop so low to the extent of pleasing the man I hated deep to my bones and prayed for nothing but his death.

I fisted my knuckles, digging my fingers into my flesh hoping that would lessen the disgust I felt but it didn't.

I should have left the second I recognized his voice...

I should have never allowed him to even touch me...

I shouldn't...but I did

The memories I thought I had successfully locked deep in my heart came rushing back like a wind. The taste of suffering, I had learnt to forget over the years, lingered on the tip of my tongue and once again.

Once again,I lost control of my emotions...

I jerked the door open, rushing into my room and locking the door behind me.

I was far from him yet I felt suffocated.

Anger flowed through my veins as I ripped off the lingerie on my body, kicking off my heels in the process.

I rushed towards my bathroom, filling the bathtub with hot water and getting my body soaked in it. I leaned in, my eyes closed,pushing my body deeper and deeper till it felt like I was sinking... drowning.

My body felt hot and I felt like I was on fire. I could hear the loud beating of my heart against my ribcage and each second felt like my skin was getting peeled open yet it felt so soothing...

And safe

Over the years, I have learnt one thing. The only way I could get rid of my pain was by being in more pain.

I soaked my body deeper till I reached the end of the bathtub. My knuckles tightly fisted as I inhaled the water through my nostrils, ignoring the hotness and instead... finding warmth in it.

My nose hurt like hell but that didn't stop me from inhaling more water. I wasn't only finding comfort but I was also punishing myself.

And for the first time since I've been working as a cocotte. I actually felt like one.

'You know you don't have to do this, right?' Laila's voice sounded at the back of my mind, as I slowly slipped back to a memory that had taken place three years ago.

'I can provide you with everything you need, Ava. You just have to stay by my side and that's all.' she added softly.

'I want to work for you instead, Laila. Please....' I pleaded, staring into her blue eyes. There had always been something about her eyes that seemed like they were luring me in. And that... sometimes makes me feel safe and comforted.

'It would break you, Ava. You can't...'

'I'm already broken, Laila.' A sad smile made its way to my lips.

'How much more broken can I get,'

Reality yanked me back into the present with jarring force. I sat back up, chest heaving with tears streaming down my face.

I touched my cheeks, shocked and confused. This would be the first time in five years I shed a tear and for the second time that evening, I couldn't understand what was going on with me. And I couldn't help but wish I had my wolf back. I wished the moon Goddess would show me mercy and just return her back to me cause at that moment I really felt alone.

It's been five years since I last shifted to my wolf form. Five years since I last had my wolf, adding to my misery.

I didn't only lose my family that night but I also lost my identity.

Finally satisfied, I stood up from the bathtub and without bothering to cover my naked body, walked back into my room with a solemn expression on my face.

I walked towards the mirror, taking my seat. There's always been something I loved about the mirror. It's ability to see through one's facade.

I've always been putting on a mask. Since that's the only way I could survive after all. The mask was my strength and it had become a part of me but whenever... Whenever I'm sitting in front of the mirror just like right now, I seem to let go of that mask.

My eyes fell on the brush, lying not to far from where I was. I stretched my hand, picking up the brush and brushing my wet hair as images and sounds slammed into my brain rendering me mute.

"You look beautiful, Ava" my mum smiled, her amber eyes staring at me from the mirror.

"But I don't look good enough," I clucked, biting my lips nervously. "What if he doesn't like me? What if he hates my red hair and he..."

"Ava," mum called, placing the brush in her hand on the table, her hands on my shoulder.

Back then, I was fifteen. Every female werewolves in my Pack anticipated that age would practically change their lives for the better or probably for the worst. That's if they didn't get rejected by their mates like I was hoping I wouldn't.

Yes, I was the Alpha's daughter and any werewolf would be happy to be my mate but still that didn't stop my fear.

I was scared he would reject me for my red hair since I was the only werewolf with that color of hair in my Pack. And thanks to that, I've been bullied my entire life even though I was the Alpha's daughter. None of my parents had red hair and none of my ancestors like I was told and for a while I almost believed I was adopted. But I was proven wrong each time I saw the striking resemblance between my mother and I. And also my amber eyes that I had inherited from my father.

So it turns out I wasn't adopted but I was cursed instead.

"It would be his loss if he doesn't like you, Ava but if does... "

"He got the luckiest gift he could ever received,"

I blinked away the memory in time to see the tears streaming down my face.

It looks like I will be crying a lot now...

I thought, dropping the brush in my hand and wiping the tears off my face.

My lips broke into a faint smile, staring at the girl in the mirror. She had gone through hell, lived in hell but still survived.

Alpha Storm has snatched everything from me. Every single thing I had held dear and now...

Now it was time to make him pay. It was time to ruin him just like he ruined me even if it means I would have to give my body to him.