“You’re mad? Upset? Is it because of Maria? Nothing is happening there…. I told you not to take anything to heart that happens at school. We’re just being who we normally are. You are the girl I like and want. Nothing changes that. Xxx”His words break me down further, a wave of real, heartfelt tears at my foolishness drowning me. It’s like he found exactly the right words to catch the free-running, insecure bunny in my chest and pushed it back down its dark hole.Dane being so sweet and trying to soothe me from afar has me all kinds of messed up, and I wallow in shame and hurt, allowing myself a few seconds to cry.Even while gulping down stilted sobs and sniffing to control the worst of my breakdown, I try to type some coherent response, knowing for sure now I am being dumb. Desperate to explain to him because now he feels guilty for me being an idiot.“You called her Babe…. Yesterday you….. I start typing, then stop myself and genuinely pause, halting the flow of tears to ask myse
Balling a fist in my mouth to stifle a yawn and arching my back to get the creaks out from being hunched over for an hour in chemistry, I head down the hall with the last bell ringing overhead. Elisa left early for her dental today, so as kids woosh past me, chaotically escaping the building, I head down the lesser-used back hall. I’m too tired for the after-bell pushing and need some quiet time to get home and maybe take a night off.I have the shelter today, but I’m not feeling it and seriously think for the first time in forever, I might call in sick, get into bed with snacks and binge on a Netflix show. I’m emotionally and physically spent, and today, after the whole ‘Babe’ drama has me feeling dead.This is the stairwell I used the day Dane hauled me into the cleaner’s cupboard, but I know he won’t be lurking today. I’ve seen him off and on after this morning’s weird episode and we were better. Normal. His last class was one we don’t share today, and he's probably already out on
I am making myself feel sick with the churning over of this and pat myself down for my cell to text Elisa. Not that she will know what to do and might even be in her dental appointment. She was having her braces adjusted today. I just need someone to calm me down and distract me from these overwhelming thoughts.A tap on my passenger door scares the crap out of me, and I jump as my heart punches into my throat. Almost choking me. Scaring me half to death before it’s yanked open and Dane slides in, coolly, looking and acting like this is nothing more than a casual hello.“I wasn't sure you would wait, given how mad you seemed.” He brushes off the electrifying mood he just walked into with an airy statement that gets me screwing my eye up at him. At his unbotheredness.Is he really this bare-faced?I stare at him, aware my face is cold, meaning I'm probably unnaturally pale due to the blood draining down to my toes, and I know I have a glassy shine to my eyes like I might cry. I can fee
I stare at him in stunned quiet for a long moment, seeing Dane with fresh eyes. Trying to piece together the things he said and if they were true. Taking in that infuriating ‘ I don’t give a shit’ shrug and seeing that Dane is still Dane. He does not care about the heaviness of what he said or that protecting someone he wasn't even friends with was heroic. Deep down, he has always been that boy I thought was lost to me…staring me in the face in plain sight, even behind that mask of an asshole.“So today?” I finally manage to push out, my heart aching and swelling with a different kind of pain. Truly needing to understand what I saw if it was all a façade and he never did anything with her. What were they talking about?“She’s grateful. She wanted to tell me so… That’s all it was. A thank you for being a good guy and a promise not to ruin my street cred by telling people I was nice.” Dane shrugs again like it is nothing to him but a mere inconvenience, yet my brain is twisting and chur
“Yeah, that was the goal…. Piss off my dad, your mom….make you hate me and stay away. I got caught in the act and got used to being that guy that I never thought to clarify, but the babe thing made me realize we should probably talk about this…. Set some things straight.”“So, was all of it an act? The tattoos, the piercings, the clothes…the bike…is any of that real? Or was it all just to get at us?” I'm suddenly woeful, and yet what's even more confusing is the broken pain in my heart that feels like grieving someone. Maybe the whole sex thing is a relief, but the rest of it…the Dane I thought I hated, if it’s all fake, then who is he now? “Do I even know you?”“No…. It’s not an act. Yeah, some of it was rebellion, but it’s who I was comfy as. I dunno….. it's hard to pull out the parts that were deliberate gunshots aimed at my dad’s heart. I wasn't going out of my way to be that person. I just let rumors circulate and didn’t care about defending myself.”“Is that why you have stopped
Wandering into the kitchen, hauling off my backpack, I spot Monique by the sink as she washes out some dishes and smile with genuine warmth. This woman is the living, breathing depiction of a mother I have ever known, and seeing her every day when I come brings me so much joy and security that I never really appreciated before. Lately, I am starting to feel it.“Hey….. “ I turn, dumping my bag on the nearest stool. Very aware Dane would be following me as his bike pulled up right as I walked in the door. Trying to act as normal as possible as I go raking in the refrigerator and not keeping one eye on the door to see him. “Don’t cook for me tonight. I’m going to come looking when I’m hungry. I have homework, and then I'm going to vegetate in bed and sleep early. I’m not going to the shelter.”“Oh, why not, my little princess?” Monique turns with her overdramatic etch of concern creasing over her entire face. “Are you sick? Do you need me to fetch you some medicines? Do we need the doct
I’m startled back to sense by how non-innocent this kiss has become, given he ambushed me, and within seconds, we were wrapped up like this, glued together in ways that would have had me running scared a week ago. My pelvis is flattened to his groin, and because of how he’s stooping and moving to kiss me, it rubs gently into mine and causes all kinds of aching longing. I’m very aware he is solid down there while my own body is softening, and things are getting damp. It’s like I lost all sense of anything except a craving for more.I can feel myself getting wound up, as though my internal organs are clenching, and there’s a strange urge in me to whine for him to put his hands all over me. A deep need to know what them roaming all over my body without boundaries would feel like after experiencing the difference when he skimmed my breast. I like the sensation.A groan rests in my throat as his kiss somehow depends, dragging throbbing pulse up my legs and straight to my pelvis where I sw
“Pooky…stop ignoring me.”For the seventh time this lesson, the prod in the back of my head from a wielded pencil causes me to spin in my chair and slap Dane’s hand. Glaring at him with all the contained anger of the last two hours.“Stop doing that. Stop bothering me.” It’s not an act; I am seriously losing my temper with him. Today, we shared two classes, and he spent the first one firing paper airplanes at my head and this one demanding constant attention with stupid pet names. Probably because all this week, we have only been able to spend two nights shacked up in my room for a movie and the rest we’ve both had other plans. The timing has been weird for a few days and our parents were home a lot more than usual after Monday. The shelter, his piercings, school commitments, homework…… Everything has been in our way.It’s Friday, thank god, and maybe catching some real time with him over the weekend will curb whatever this is. He’s being a needy child.“Women…. So moody.” He grins at