“Look pretty, stick with us and then we can bail when his dad starts getting too drunk to demand his presence.”“What’s it for? Should we bring a gift?” Elisa finally turns enough to be part of this conversation, and I am aware that Tyler’s eyes have not left her head since Dane brought this up. He’s being weirdly silent and watching her reactions. Sometimes, he is as hard to read as Dane.“It’s my dad’s birthday. We just need to show up…don’t bring anything. We can stay a couple of hours, then sneak out when things get wild.”“Wild?” I raise a brow, pretty sure that Tyler’s parents can’t be all that wild when compared to these two. They are in their forties.“Trust me… his dad is the party king, and his mom is a hopeless drunk. Things will get crazy, so we can leave when it starts.”“Leave your notebooks on the desks even if you are not finished…I’ll collect them and return them on Monday. Enjoy your weekend, guys. You can all go.” Our teacher's loud, commanding voice interrupts us a
Elisa and Tyler wander ahead as we make our way down onto the cove, kicking off their shoes as soon as they reach the sand. Tyler drops the bag we brought, containing drinks and snacks, and Dane and I follow. It’s still not too late, and the sun is up, keeping it warm here even though the sea breeze is cooling the air. It’s peaceful for a late summer evening. A perfect night to watch the sunset and enjoy the serenity of just the four of us.“Elisa…..do you like seaweed?” Tyler’s jokey sing-song way of cooing at her when he whips up a slimy long strand from between two rocks has her turning before recoiling in childlike horror. Raising her p[alms to ward off the evil in his hand and bursting into a reverse run skip to evade his swinging it about.“Don’t….it’s gross.” She squeals, turning to flee, and he takes off after her, holding it aloft and trying to torment her with it. It’s so obviously a flirty game of chase, although Elisa is probably oblivious to Tyler’s intentions.“He’s so d
“I’m here, aren’t I? I'm trying.” Being coaxed out of studying so much, spending time with Dane has been slwloy changing my perspective on life. My priorities and how much time I was spending with my head stuck in schoolwork. We’re young, and it won’t last. I have good grades and can afford to relax a little.“What’s his deal anyway? For a guy who has no problems talking to girls at any other time, he seems incapable of being normal around Elisa. It’s painful to watch.”I turn our focus back to them now they are near the water's edge. Elisa is fidgeting with her nails and kicking one foot in the sand in an obvious girly nervousness. Tyler has both hands in his pockets and seems to be saying something amusing to her because I can hear her small giggles occasionally. She ducks her head, probably blushing, and Tyler follows every time by leaning in and down so he doesn't lose sight of her eyes. It’s cute to watch, but their three-foot gap speaks volumes.“Boy’s in love….. doesn’t matter h
The light chap on my patio door has me stooping mid-duvet pulling as I was getting ready for bed, and I head over, knowing exactly who it is. We’ve been home less than half an hour after getting home late, and he’s already looking for me. I’m not shocked given how we left things when we got home.Things were getting heavy and steamy in the dark of the car, and I knew when we separated that neither of us was calm enough to go to bed and sleep. Not that there was much kissing. Just hugging, a little groping, and getting real close and breathy thanks to having some beers as the sun went down, and even though I didn’t get drunk, I do still have a slight bravado I know came from the refreshments.“You’re insane,” I whisper as he slides open the door and slinks into my darkened room. There’s only a low light lamp on which I sleep with, and we stay hushed, knowing our parents are already in bed. They were asleep when we got home, aware we were at Tyler’s family party. “Stop climbing that way
Dane says nothing but stares at me long and hard and then sighs, knowing he’s defeated. Even in the dim light, I can see his handsome features, carved mouth's soft lines, and small perfect nose. His eyes are dark in the shadows, which somehow causes him to appear older and sexier. I'm suddenly aware of how we have subconsciously moved together under the sheets, so every inch of him is pressed to me.I brush back his dark floppy bags from his face, long enough to reach the tip of his nose, and admire how beautiful this human is. Sighing at the sheer prettiness of my boyfriend and feeling like the luckiest girl alive even to get to touch him this way. I always thought Dane was hot, but somehow, falling for him this way, I seem to have become obsessed with his perfection. He’s an art form.“I love you.”Dane catches me off guard with a husky, gentle confession, stated boldly even if it was almost wispy in deliverance. It tugs at my heart as soon as I register the words, and my eyes mist
I nod mutely. Every sensible part of my brain is saying Kayla, no, but there's a naughty in me. Hormone-driven and curious, who wants to know what it's like. In a safe way, with no regrets and no harm no foul. He says I don’t need to be touched by him that way or even undress. Maybe it's my beer-fogged brain making the decisions, but I’m weirdly devoid of doubt.It's the bravado of the girl who first told Dane she wanted to be with him, even if it meant breaking up later, raising her head, and she is all in with some exploration. The inquisitive nature in me that wants to explore something new. Sometimes, she’s a separate bolshy entity in my personality who jumps in, says, and does things I would normally crumble at, and it seems she wants her boyfriend to show her how to get off tonight.Who am I becoming?Dane nods before raising his hand and pushing me, so I turn away from him. Fully onto my other side, he scoots up behind me as he brings his arm over my body, cocooning me and spoo
I'm catapulted with a jolt of ecstasy at that contact, groaning loud enough it shocks me and aware of spreading tingles climbing up from my toes. My motions on my clitoris have become faster and harder, having found my pleasure point, and Dane tugs me onto my back to get more access to me. Leaning over me to half cage me in without stopping what I am doing, and ducks his head.Flat out, splayed under him, he uses his mouth on my breast instead, urging on my moans. A kissing, gentle tease as he seeks me out and continues the sucking and nibbling of my neck, there instead. Pushing me further into this chaotic state of need and yearning. I lose all sense of time and reality and become a slave to only what he’s making me feel.Even though he said he wouldn’t touch, I've made it very clear this is what I want, and he catches my nipple between his front teeth and sends me into arching, groaning, and moaning overload.It’s so good I cover my mouth to stay quiet. Pressing my palm flat to it a
Dane is cradled over me, trying to keep his weight from killing me. Neither moves beyond him sliding his fingers away from me and out of my shorts, and then he finally leans up and props his forehead against mine before gently kissing me on the lips. Taking a second to inhale slowly, he looks crazy sexy and mussed up like this. A gentle peck of reassurance that only further makes me feel like what we just did was normal and natural.His eyes are heavy and pupils large, lips swollen from using them all over me, hair chaotic because at some point, without knowing it, I must have dragged my nails through it. He looks so exceptionally seductive.He's breathing heavily, too, so his breath fans my face weirdly gently, and I can focus on him slowly. Seeing a sheen of sweat on his nose and forehead, given the fact he probably had his face buried in the pillows through most of that. It’s hardly a cool night.“That’s so not how I intended that to go….it was supposed to be a lot less…….just less
“We can go to my study…Dane, just Kayla.” She adds as though he will follow and he probably was going to, but she’s right. Something started between her and I and should be resolved that way. Dane has been shielding me too much lately because of my inability to face more drama. I need to put my big girl panties back on. Her and Dane have nothing to say to one another anyway, and he will only put her on the defensive, which I want to avoid.“I’ll be close by….just yell if you need me…… Very close by.” Dane doesn’t lower his voice; instead gets louder with his warning tone, making it obvious to my mom that he doesn’t trust her, and I pat his arm to get him to release me.I slide out of his arms and follow my mom out of the kitchen, across the hall, and into the study without looking back, even though I can feel all their eyes follow me out. Already, my insides are like a washing machine because I do not know what exactly she intends to say to me.My mom is being weirdly quiet, too, and
“You four are making me feel chronically single.” Hannah huffs, pushing the cans of soda across the breakfast bar towards Elisa as Tyler opens up some bags of chips for us to share. We have a stack of pizza boxes waiting to dive into and a plan to darken the nook to spend the day eating junk and watching movies. Dane and I are too tired for anything else and feel like we are on some emotional comedown after a month of hell.“What happened to your Korean boyfriend? That distance could not separate you from?” Dane chimes in with obvious sarcasm oozing, while leaning into me from behind to deposit the dip we made. It’s clear to me that teasing Hannah is a full-time occupation when they are in the same room. She really is like his annoying younger sister, even if she is our age.“I am devoted to Min Yoongi, but I would like to experience a present boyfriend. Someone I can touch and laugh with.” Hannah sulks slightly, clearly regretting her life choices.“I can’t imagine anyone would want
My Dad never calls me, rarely picks mine up, and never texts either. So, seeing it now, flashing so invasively on my phone is enough to make my heart thud through my chest painfully.“Do you want me to give you space to take it?” Dane interrupts my obvious inability to move, breaking the spell it’s cast over me.“No…stay!” A sense of panic grips my stomach and throat, and the sudden cold wash of nerves sobers my good mood. Instantly afraid of what he is calling me for even though, logically, I know.My mom must have called him, or Bryan, at least.Maybe he wants to clarify…I don’t even know.“Are you going to answer it or keep staring at it?” Dane interrupts the deer in the headlight motion of me holding it at half arm’s length, and I blink at it, then him, and shake my head.“Do you need me to do it?”“I don’t know.” I sound terrified. I don’t think I have it in me to answer the call. There is so much grey area when it comes to my dad. So many times I have been hurt by him that faci
“Well, this is depressing.” Dane wheels his case into his old barren bedroom, gazing around at the emptiness even though all his furniture is still there. “It feels like someone else's room.”All the personality is gone without his things in here, and it smells like a fresh, floral hotel, thanks to Monique. His art, posters, pictures, trinkets and books are all gone, leaving empty walls, shelves, and surfaces where he used to have such an array of masculine things, more so after he moved in here permanently and brought it all from his mom’s house.“Imagine how it made me feel watching it get this way….you’re an ass.” I throw him a mock glare and get a kiss blown back at me.“I wanted you to miss me.” He winks and goes back to his case. In a happy mood ever since we started packing to come here.I gaze around, infected by his happiness, and yet sigh at the memories of being in here without him.Even the lack of his laundry tossed on the floor somehow makes this place impersonal. The be
“There’s a lot that this test result will change….I know now is probably not the best time to talk about where we go from here. You probably need to process it the same way we did, but I want you to know….I'm not going back to the UK. I’ll sort it out myself. Enroll back in school, find somewhere to stay, maybe with Tyler….” Dane sounds so far removed from the immature rebel of months ago who was forever making my life hell and living stupidly. He sounds like this experience has aged him so much.He has a sensible head on, his eyes set on the future and he’s not reacting one ounce to my mom. It’s like she no longer has any affect on him.“You’ll move back home, there is no argument in that. I’ll call the school and arrange for you to go in and re-enroll. I’ll call your mom and explain things. Don’t worry about anything. I told you, didn’t I… always your home and whenever you wanted to come back.”For being the fragile one here, Bryan seems to be the one most resigned and okay with thi
“Wait.” I tug Dane back by the hand he’s interlaced in mine, so he stops abruptly near Bryan’s room door, and I pull him to turn to me. Panick is overtaking my soul now we’re close to actually doing this. Walking in here it’s been growing inside of me like a building storm.All my bravado and anger have dissipated because I am so over trauma and tears in my life that I want to avoid any more conflict and run to hide instead. I think I have reached a point of fragility that my emotions don’t want to take anymore.My nerves are bubbling over, my heart is racing, and I'm swinging between cold and hot sweats that have my entire body flushed and trembling. I’m genuinely scared even though my mom is the one who should be.There is no more fight left in me. Not when the possibility of Dane being ripped away from me a second time is all too real, and that thought terrifies me more now I have lived it once. I can’t do that again. I won’t survive.“It’s going to be okay, I promise. We do this a
“Like what?” Hannah squeaks in outrage, crossing her arms on the table to lean in and peer at him, that he might be dissing the man of her dreams or her favorite band. Finding insult in that but nothing else he had said before this.“Your face,” Dane snaps back at her before flicking her in the forehead and pushing her back again.“Ughh.. See… Why is he like this? Is this what you put up with? How can you date him when he’s so awful?” Hannah throws her hands up in frustration, and yet all of this only makes me relax about what kind of relationship they had. If Elisa wasn't so feeble and gentle, I know this is how they would act together. At times, there are glimpses of it, but Elisa is too good-natured and cannot sass. There’s nothing in it.I can see the dynamic slowly opening up between them. She’s like an unwanted younger sibling he both doesn’t like but also does but is forced to take out with him. Annoyed by her presence, but I can tell they also have a sense of relaxed and comf
“You look nervous. Relax….What are you scared of?” Dane brushes my hair from my face for the third time, running a finger down my cheek before leaning in and pecking me lightly on the lips. Igniting the same burst of internal flutters, he always gives me, and a layer of warmth. Suddenly, in my world, everything feels right again, just having him by my side, but I still cannot escape this constant gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach.“Every time I have seen this girl, I was a bitch to her….I’m still not ok with the fact you spent the last month with her while ignoring me.” Try as hard as I might, I cannot quench the sense of nausea and dread while sitting here waiting for her to show up. “I feel weird meeting her this way and under these circumstances.”I should never have agreed to this.It’s a clean, bright diner near the hotel they are staying at and the hospital, so we intend to stay here until we’re ready to face our parents and work out a game plan. Hannah is a formality I
“Deal…. I want my boyfriend back how he was. I don’t want to remember any of this shitty separation. Can we get back together?” I ask stupidly even though it’s obvious we are already making up. I just need him to say the words to help with the insecurity I am feleing after how cold he was. “I want my boyfriend back.”“Technically, babycakes, we never broke up. Neither of us said the words so we don’t need to get back together. He shrugs like this is the most logical thing ever, and I lean back to scowl at him.He does not get out of his asshole past four weeks that easily. The boy really is trying to pull a fast one.“Really?” I ask in obvious, oozing sarcasm. “Because I remember clearly a certain boy telling me he was going no contact and not coming back from the UK before he blocked me on absolutely everything….that was a very final break up even if you never said ‘the words.’ You can’t be in a relationship with someone who moved abroad and refuses to communicate with you.” I point