My face is sore and swollen from crying like an idiot for the past two hours, sitting on my bed, and rubbing in a moisturizer to minimize the mess I made after washing my face. I know my skin is blotchy and pale, my nose red, and my eyes are puffed up. I’m washed out, yet it felt good to cleanse my soul and give into everything that’s been eating at me for days. I am physically lighter, as though a huge weight I was unaware I have been carrying this past couple of days is lifted from my head.So much for controlling my ability to cry over the past years. I don’t think I have ever sobbed like that for that long in my life, and I feel so stupid that Dane triggered it. I guess crying that first time broke the off switch, and now my emotions are a free for all anytime I get sad.For what, really?Yelling at me, making me feel repulsive? Or because I got to kiss him, and he made it clear that this weirdness growing in me was so one-sided, and a small spark had held onto loose hope that it
“I have all those reasons too, but it didn't stop me feeling something for you……. I wouldn’t be mad at you for it. You can’t help who you like! You said that yourself! And deny it all you want and say you don’t care about me, but your actions say differently sometimes, so you confuse me all the more. I have never felt like I was your sister but at times ….. you make me think I’m something else to you.”This has always been the confusing thing about us, and maybe it’s where our constant bickering stems from.“Who said I don’t care about you?” he turns his head on me in a snap, eyes narrowed and a low simmering anger building. He seems outraged that I would say something like that, yet he’s been trying to make me believe it for so long. It’s grating that he only heard that in all those words I threw at him.I glance away from the intense gaze and return to pulling at my pillow. Pondering that by now, Dane would usually have walked away from me as the conversation was steering to somethi
“Oh, Hello…. How’re things going at school lately? It feels like I haven’t seen you in weeks,” My mom asks Elisa with a soft and warm smile at her sitting beside me at the breakfast bar as we share a plate of tacos that Monique made us. It’s early afternoon, after school, and we’re home to study together.“Good, Mrs. Masterson.” Elisa is always the model of politeness when it comes to my parents. “We’ve just been busy with some schoolwork. It’s only a few days till break, and I think we need it.”“Mom… Lees is staying here tonight. If that’s okay?” I ask as my mother wanders around the kitchen, looking for something, and gives another perfunctory smile as she tilts her head back to us. It’s obvious she is not fully invested in us and is distracted. She wanders to the cupboard where we keep the first aid and medicines and rummages inside, reminding me of that idiot Dane when I catch sight of the green box in full view, and my stomach sinks into my lap, churning up my nerves and anger o
I toss and turn, trying hard not to wake Elisa, the sleeping beauty who looks like she might be dead, and end up on my back. Exhaling heavily and flattening the sheets over my body while staring at the ceiling, I know closing my eyes is futile. By now, it has to be the early AMs, and I have not managed to stay asleep for more than short periods. I keep waking and feeling restless, with a million thoughts swarming me. I can’t stop the ongoing onslaught of mindless worries and woes, and of course, Dane is top of that list.Elisa mumbles something incoherent in her sleep, and I realize I might be disturbing her by moving around so much, so I shift to my side and stare at my desk by my balcony window instead. The clock there shines back at three am, and I deflate further. The night is ticking away, and I am wide awake.My mom and Bryan texted before midnight, saying they had decided to drink and stay at the hotel where the show was tonight. This means they’ll probably head straight to wor
I sit upright, narrow my eyes on him with severe scrutiny and start patting at his clothes, looking for the keys to his bike because I am sure he came here on it, and the accident line is bullshit. If he thinks I’m going to sit back and watch him ride off into the night, he’s got another thing coming.“What are you doing?” Dane sits up too, trying to catch my wrists as I slide my hands into his hoodie pockets, looking for them, and end up wrestling him while fighting to keep searching. Combatting his slower-than-usual responses and getting the upper hand because moving hurts him. Dane catches my hands, pins them behind my back, and yanks me into his chest so I can’t get loose. We end up nose to nose, with both of us half kneeling, half sitting, and breathing hard.“I know your bike is out front, so don’t give me this bullshit. You plan on taking your things and leaving? I won’t let you. I’ll call your dad and tell him…. I’ll stop you.” I can’t conceal the anger in my voice or the fier
“Dane, are you awake?” I rap lightly on his bedroom door, straining my ear to the smooth surface for noises or signs of life, and jump when the door clicks open, and he edges around it, so I only see his face. Cast half in shadow from the early hour, his bruises have progressed further, but much of his swelling has calmed down. He looks like someone went crazy with purple face paint.“Yeah. Did Elisa go home?” He eyes past me down the darkened hall and seems uneasy that he might get caught if he comes out further. I already know he’s safe.“Yep, she left a few minutes ago. Monique is up, but she’s cleaning downstairs before she goes to the market. She normally doesn’t come up here until after to sort the rooms. You have maybe an hour to get ready and for us to leave after she does.” I hold up the glass of orange squash in my hand and the tube of Arnica gel and wave them at him. “To take your meds and to help with your pain.” I point out and hold them out to him so that he slides back
My mom texted me this morning telling me Bryan heard from Dane, and he’s gone on vacation to a skiing resort, and I was glad she didn’t call me to tell me. I don’t think I could have stayed neutral and kept the lie. I didn’t even keep it from Elisa, who knew something was wrong as soon as she woke up. I haven’t slept and tossed and turned all night worrying about this idiot. So, of course, I look like death and have crazy dark circles over a dull skin tone.Dane wanders in a few minutes later, with his lower half dried and dressed in the sweats he had laid out. He’s carrying a tee and zip-up, but there’s still water over his shoulders, upper back, and hair. I move to take the towel he has under his arm and instinctively start patting his upper chest and neck before gesturing for him to lean down to run his hair. Dane narrows his eyes on me, obeys, and sets his gaze on his feet instead.We say nothing, just stand facing one another while I dry him off and then maneuver his clothes on c
“I am so bored.” Elisa tugs at her dress and follows me around the animal shelter, shadowing me because she has nothing better to do.“So help clean these cages or go home and find something to do.” I’m getting frustrated with her because I’m slightly pissed that she’s getting in my way and slowing me down. She normally manages fine with a school break and fills her time much as I do. Using it as study time, time to volunteer for things we are passionate about, or hanging out at the beach and relaxing.Only this time is different, and I am one hundred percent blaming Tyler. She has gotten to used to his constant annoying presence this past two weeks of school ending that knowing he is out of here for the entirety of our break has stolen her meaning of life. She’s listless and seemingly incapable of focusing on her normal hobbies or work. She hasn’t looked at her home lab since school broke up a few days ago and had no new products in the works.It’s pretty pathetic.Not the Elisa I kn
Dane almost catapults out of the bed. Grips my shoulder with one hand as I move in and suck the tip into my mouth and lets out a groan that almost makes me climax. Its so primal and raw and empowering.He tastes slightly salty, smooth, hard, and yet also good. Hard and thick, and I can barely get comfortable around him with my lips as this is such an alien sensation for me. Not sure if I should be doing anything else except sucking him like a lollipop. It’s not like I have ever watched it be done and only heard girls at school talking about it.How hard can it be?“Kayla….you don’t have…oh fuck…” His words die off as I find my way around what I'm doing, having no clue if it's even right. I suck him some more, explore him with my tongue and lips and take moments to experience this new feeling. Mentally wondering how far into my mouth he should be because I don’t want to end up gagging and throwing up all over him. Better to play it safe and keep only the first inch of him in there and
“You’re scarily quiet. What are you thinking about?” Dane and I are lying face to face in the dark, under the sheets in bed, and curled up together so we’re nose to nose. It’s been maybe twenty minutes of this, and I’m frustrated that I don’t feel any better.It’s like my confidence and security have taken a knock, and my heart is yearning for some extreme way to feel back to how I was an hour ago. Some deep emotional need to have him wipe away my hurt.“I’m fine…just…” I exhale heavily and curl into his body some more, resting my temple against his neck and inhaling his familiar scent. I can’t put into words the weird residual melancholy that tonight has left me. Maybe it was the realization that Dane alone has the power to destroy my heart should he ever actually betray me like that, and it’s made me feel small and vulnerable. Trusting someone with your soul in that way.Maybe it's being slapped with the reality that he has had sex with girls before, had some connection and relation
I mean, she’s smaller than me and tiny in frame, so there’s no way she was able to attack him to the extent of leaving kisses on his body and opening his clothes without his being able to stop her. I was in the bathroom for like ten minutes, so I'm sure he had plenty of time to get something started before I came out. Maybe he heard me coming, and that’s why he was cooling it off again.What am I thinking?Do I really think he would cheat on me?I don’t know anymore, not after seeing that.He’s been acting weird with that girl all night and has been actively avoiding her without any explanation about who she is. She's the one person he never introduced me to. Maybe those should have been the warning signs from the first minute she arrived. Maybe his distance and avoidance were to hide something between them and not that he didn’t want to see her.“Kayla, stop.” Dane tries to grab me from behind a second time as I get up into the room and twist out of his grip. I push him away as hard
The party is in full swing now it’s late, and despite my earlier weirdness over that girl, I am enjoying myself even if I have kept her in my peripheral way more than I should have. These people are easy to get along with, and despite this idea that I was walking into a frat party and bracing myself for it kicking off, it ended up being way more of a hang-out and chill session. It made so much more sense to me why Dane and Tyler frequently hang out with them because it’s nothing like teen boy chaos and wild orgies that I expected. Given Dane admitted most of his image was fake I can now see how he got away with it for so long without creating more mayhem. IF taking off for a party weekend was coming here to do this, then he’s way less rebellious than he pretended to be.Tyler, on the other hand, saying these parties get wild…was clearly joking.We started on the beach with food, music, and volleyball for a few hours. Laughing and getting sand in places that didn’t feel all that great
“Do I look okay?” Elisa blinks at me, the sweet, doe-eyed return of insecurity about her looks as I make her give me a twirl in front of my jeep. Admiring my goddess with the pride of a mother who may as well of birthed her myself.“Gorgeous, baby….. absolutely radiant.” Beaming, I take in the short and tailored dark green dress we picked for her. It’s flat, smooth satin, but the little cap sleeves and scooped neckline are green velvet in a shade a tad darker than the rest. Simple, elegant, and showcases her tall, lean figure and ample bust with curves in all the right places. Her red hair is a satin curtain of softness, held back from her face with a simple dark green velvet Alice band she chose, and her makeup is the trademark vintage I gave her. Tyler almost had an instant orgasm when he laid eyes on my beauty earlier, so I don’t know why she’s doubting her look now we’re here.“I don’t look immature?” She flushes a darker shade of pink and gets a hip nudge from me before looping h
“What about…Happy eighteenth, Kayla….Happy birthday, Baby. I was adamanet I wouldn’t stay longer than today.” He pecks me on the lips as the realization hits me that he’s right. It’s four am and my birthday. I went to bed, not even thinking about that, only seeing him and completely blanked midnight passing us by. I’m again the same age as he is and technically a legal adult.I think it’s the first birthday of my life. I wasn't sitting watching for my dad’s text in hopes he remembered or eagerly counting the minutes until I turned a year older. I didn't even think about it at all.“I am.” Even I sound surprised.“You are…we both are, and I have something for you.” Dane leans away further, forcing me to drop my hands back down onto the bed to let him go as he kneels up over the top of me. Legs on either side of mine but he puts no weight on me. Instead he unzips his leather jacket and crosses his arms in a cute little way so he points at each pocket on the sides. Seeing him with a litt
‘We’re in our street so I won’t be long. As soon as I get in, I’ll take my luggage to my room to give my dad time to go to bed, and then I’ll hop your balcony. Can’t wait to see you xxx.’It’s four am, and I have been dozing on and off for hours while watching my cell and waiting for Dane’s text. Unable to let myself fall asleep fully in case he thinks I’m not eager to see him, and I don’t want to miss his moment of getting home. I’m half asleep, and the vibration makes me jump, scanning the words twice and blinking as it sinks in that he’s here. He’s home or will be in a few minutes.Three weeks of endless waiting and my boy is finally back.I can’t wait. Scooting out of bed, I grab my short, baby pink lightweight robe to cover my skimpy vest and shorts and hightail it across my room. Open the door as quietly as possible because my mom is in bed across the hall and slide out before closing it tight. My nerves are hitched, which makes me weirdly breathless, and even though my heart is
I have a boyfriend to impress. I can’t have every other girl there look sexy for him and me being a frump in some boring outfit.“I’ll figure it out. What are you wearing?” I let it go for now, watching the two about fifteen feet away setting up for a new game with less interest and waving my hand in the air. I am so over playing now we’ve been here for hours.“Don’t add me in this time…. I’ll sit one out and watch you too,” I yell to them to catch Tyler’s attention and get a nod of okay. Dane calling me meant they took my turns the last few shots to leave me over here, so it’s not a shock. I want to sit one out and spend more time talking to him. I feel like a third wheel anyway, with how cutesy they are today. If I stay out of their way, they can forget I am here and have an actual one-on-one date. Something Elisa has been weirdly evasive of, so I guess her training wheels have not come off all the way yet. She likes me there as security even though she obviously doesn’t need me her
“Hey, Babycakes, what are you doing?” Dane’s honey-laden voice croons down the cell to me, a sign he’s not with his mom, seeing he's not trying to be quiet and sounds relaxed, probably in his hotel room.“Watching my best friend pretend she can’t throw a bowling ball so her boyfriend manhandles her while giving a lesson. I swear she’s not the same girl who beats me at this game every time we come.” Focusing on Elisa's play pretend inability is amusing, even if I am shocked she had the gall to put on the pitiful act to get cuddly.She sure is learning fast how to wind Tyler around her little finger.It's only mid-afternoon, but the ten-pin bowling alley is relatively busy, although we managed to blag a corner alley so I could hide in the shadows on the seats here. We’ve been here a while, on our third or fourth game, and I'm happy to sit back and let those two treat it as a date.“You should take tips from her…it wouldn’t hurt to have you soften up and act helpless occasionally to brin