I was crying the whole lunch time. It is just I can't stop it any more and I feel like I'm alone, I mean yes, I'm really alone in this fight and there's nothing else to rely on except myself. I am inside the bathroom and I did nothing but to cry and cry the whole lunch time, I am alone eating from my table. This is the first time again that me and Rozieden did not eat together at the lunch time. I feel like everyone betrayed me and even if I am not the type who do self pity but still I can't stop myself from feeling this way. Now, I am doubting it again. I am doubting telling Rozieden again. I am scared that he is not really into me that it will never be enough for him to understand me, to understand my situation and at the end he will be a someone who is nothing but a few chapters in my life but will never be the epilogue and the ending. I am so anxious about everything but still I finished my work even keep thinking about what is happening right now about Dad. What is he eating?
''Kellah.'' Mr. Woods uttered in a calm voice while staring at me. I still can't understand his presenc right now in front of me but I will never change my mind this time. I let a heavu sigh and saw how tired his eyes is. I closed my eyes tightly as I swallowed hard before facing him again. ''What is it that you need to me, Mr. Woods? Do I still have unfinished works? Do you want something so that I can give it to you right away. Just make sure that I have the capabilities to do it, Sir.'' I said so that he will understand that I want this to be done already and we need to know our boundaries now. ''Is that all you want to say, huh? You are acting like it was just nothing? Between us.. it was just nothing, huh?'' He asked but my eyes are getting colder every minutes have pass between the both of us. ''Should I ask the same question to you, huh? For acting strange too. Are you mad that I didn't reply to your messages? Is that your only reason, huh? Too shallow, Rozieden, too shallo
To love is to show it's real meaning. To love is to make people feel it that it's real. To love is to act too. You should not just keep telling that you love that person and make them feel them that it seems like you don't. If you say you love a person then you are obliged to make them feel that you are in order to keep them, if you want to keep or to make them stay then you should show them what they deserve because if those people loves you too, they will surely do the same way. That is how love works. I've been finding for a reason to love again. I've been trying to. I always look up to the sky, finding for signs. I always listens and observe myself in case I feel happy again for the people who randomly comes in my life. But I just can't find it for myself. It feels like I am seeking for something. I am seeking for something that I can't describe. It is hard to notice what is wrong to you self and that is what I am feeling right now. I feel like I lack of something. I feel like th
Life works so unfair and you should not wonder about that anymore. It is always like that and I don’t know why. Some says that it is a challenge. Some says that it is just a test, fuck that test, then. They said that it will prove how faithful you are to God. I hate that reason so much that I almost lose my hope and trust to him. I can say that I became lost. I feel like there is no one for me and yet they say it is just a challenge but no. At the end of the day he is the one you will find and ask for help. You will question him, ask him and demand things such as answers. It made me strong, those times made me strong somehow. I am not a happy person anymore but it made me strong. I moved on, I mean I am trying until now. ‘’Miss K, your lunch is already there in the conference room. I am very sorry for the inconvenience. But for sure the students learned a lot from you.’’ A professor stated and I just smiled to him. ‘’It’s okay, Mister Kim. It doesn’t affect my schedule. It is my d
In the next days, I decided to assign someone to watch for the restaurant. I decided to move in the City to settle the paper that is need to settle. I am building a branch there, finally. At first, I am hesitating to build it in the City and I asked myself why. I ask myself for a reason and I just can’t find a valid one especially if Masha keeps pushing me to do it. ‘’You know what, just push it. Do it already and do not hesitate. It is not about the past, in fact it can be your way to heal yourself, girl. It’s for the business too.’’ She keeps motivating me and it always works to me. Masha is such a good friend to me. I met her one year ago and I really enjoy her company and kindness. ‘’Yeah, don’t worry. I already made up my mind so nothing can change it anymore. I forgot to read the email, I need to hang this call already, Masha.’’ I uttered and she just groaned from the other line and for sure she is already rolling her eyes if we are together now. She is busy for her son’s mov
It took me three hours before I finally opened the email. I immediately read it while eating a sandwich for lunch. I parked my car near a gasoline station after I full tanked it. I am wearing a crop top sleeveless inside my gray blazer and a black pants partnered with a stilettos. I am leaning in the car like I don’t care about all the people passing the street. I remember what Toni said, my worker from the main branch. She said we need to settle a partnership from a bank? A bank? Seriously? Bank is too big to have a partnership with. It somehow reminds me of someone who is too grumpy and annoying but always managed how to communicate with investors and partnerships. I heaved a sigh after I finished reading the email. TO; Owner of the Pan de Restaurant branches. We are very open for partnership to fully and finally receive the permit in the City of -. We are asking for the presence of the owner for clarification and words from him/ her too. Thank you and we are expecting for yo
Why the hell I didn’t notice that? Why didn’t I check where it came from? I am so dumb! I am so dumb!I screamed while running back and forth in my room. I am trying to cover my face and keep reading it again just to make sure that I am just mistaken but I am not! I am not! It’s real. It is really that bank.A partnership with that bank? A partnership with him?I am too stunned and just staring somewhere the whole night. I can’t still process it. It doesn’t want to sink in and I keep shaking my head.‘’No, this isn’t true. This isn’t true.’’ I muttered while biting the tip of my nails to stop myself from panicking too much.I can still remember the exact details before.How I watch his sorrowful eyes while I am leaving. My heart aches because of that memory. I am a terrible person for hurting someone like him. I am so selfish that time but I don’t regret it. It is painful, indeed but I’ve grown because of my choices in life. I learned too and those times with him will always have a sp
My hands are shaking while drinking the coffee in my hand. Even once in the whole three years of my life, I didn’t expect this to happen. I mean, I am always thinking of him. He keeps running in my mind for almost three years of not seeing him. The only man that made me feel this way.But I am not sure yet if we will meet there. I am not sure yet if he will be there too but usually, three years ago he always do meetings personally.Dang, why am I even expecting too much? But is this just a coincidence that the lot’s owner wanted partnership for the building so that we will get a permit? But of course it is just a coincidence.I heaved a sigh and suddenly thought of doing something. Is it just fine if I will search him online? Is he still active on the business? But at the end I got tired of searching because his name isn’t appearing. Maybe social media isn’t his thing, even before, we just text each other and call.I shake my head at the end because I am here again thinking about him
’That was Melden earlier. We are just eating lunch because she will having a piano lesson today.’’ He suddenly uttered.I was a bit shock since I didn’t expected that it was Melden.Now, let us ask too why is he telling me about it?‘’Awh, really? I didn’t recognized her maybe because she is facing you. She grew up so fast. I hope we can meet again.’’ I uttered casually so that he will already let me leave.‘’Yes you can if you didn’t left that fast earlier. I saw you, you eat there a while ago and when you saw us you were too fast and you left right away.’’ He answered and now a little bit annoyed.‘’You are really insisting that I am avoiding you, aren’t you? Aside from that I am used of eating so fast so why do you care about that, huh?’’ I sarcastically asked him.Last night when we met after the meeting he was so different and also earlier when he approached me and now I can already see the Rozieden where I am used of talking to, impatient and very bossy when he talks.‘’As far
I am facing my laptop when suddenly I received an email. I am so busy managing my budget for the building. As what Mr. Marforri said the permit will be out maybe next week and I already need to prepare to renovate the space and here I am planning it already. I am just lucky that Masha offered a help for the designers since she have friends when it comes in designing and I am thankful for that.I am also searching for workers that we need for the renovation, such painters and other workers who is involved in construction working.Next that I need to put in the list is the shops that we need to ask to provide all the things that is need in the restaurant such as chairs and tables and also for the themes so that the restaurant will have a good or nice ambience to create a good impression to the customers.Today is Wednesday and I read the email and it says that the permit will be out already in the Friday. The work will probably start In the Monday if I am already done gathering all the
I am facing myself in front of the mirror inside my room's bathroom. Is it worth it that I am still fighting until now. Is it worth it that instead of giving up yeras ago, I continued my life and didn't gave up. I am still here, I still ahve the energy but I am not sure if I still have the courage that I tried to burried inside me after all the tragedy that happened three years ago in my life. I am hoping and wishing that I can see and find the reasons again that I used before to continue. I am scared that I am losing it again. I am scared that I will be weak and fragile again. Three years ago it was not easy for me to survived. Three years ago I am so empty and nothing compared to who I am right now. I know I am not just the one who is experiencing these things too. for sure there are also people in this world who is always crying at night. People who are almost giving up on this life because they can't take it anymore but still they find reasons to live. Just like what I said
In the next coming days, I still need to wait for the permit. After that I will already start the renovation of the space, it will takes time and I need to be very handful about it after it happens. I need to be very focus about it too so that I can record all the expenses. I also need to hire another workers too for the renovation, cleaning and designing. I am too tired about last night. It was just a simple meeting and it made my eyes swollen like this. Well, who the hell even told me to cry hard like that after seeing that man after three years, huh? No one, no one and it was all my fault. I stopped drinking my coffee when suddenly my messenger started ringing and it was Masha who is calling me. It is a video call with her. I answered it immediately and place my phone in a pitcher so it will show my whole face while just drinking coffee at the same time. ‘’Kellah!’’ She greeted happily but her expression change immediately when she saw me. ‘’What happened to you, girl?’’ She a
Exact seven o’clock in the evening when I arrived to that expensive private restaurant that they sent as the address where the meeting should be held.There is nothing weir inside and just like how rich people usually interact with each other. I ask a crew for a booked meeting room and I showed her my ID and traced it. After it they show me the right room. It is indeed private. A crew opened the door for me and without hesitations I entered even if I am so freaking nervous about this. I am so freaking nervous for all the possibilities that might happen.I heaved a sigh when I saw two men sitting in a chair and in front of them is a table with foods and drinks that for sure so expensive just like how they look.I smiled to them and so they are to me. I can already see their faces clearly but no one looks like him to them. An old man smiled to me genuinely as he offers a seat to me.‘’Good evening young lady. I bet you are the owner of the ‘Pan de Restaurant.’” He uttered and I smiled t
My hands are shaking while drinking the coffee in my hand. Even once in the whole three years of my life, I didn’t expect this to happen. I mean, I am always thinking of him. He keeps running in my mind for almost three years of not seeing him. The only man that made me feel this way.But I am not sure yet if we will meet there. I am not sure yet if he will be there too but usually, three years ago he always do meetings personally.Dang, why am I even expecting too much? But is this just a coincidence that the lot’s owner wanted partnership for the building so that we will get a permit? But of course it is just a coincidence.I heaved a sigh and suddenly thought of doing something. Is it just fine if I will search him online? Is he still active on the business? But at the end I got tired of searching because his name isn’t appearing. Maybe social media isn’t his thing, even before, we just text each other and call.I shake my head at the end because I am here again thinking about him
Why the hell I didn’t notice that? Why didn’t I check where it came from? I am so dumb! I am so dumb!I screamed while running back and forth in my room. I am trying to cover my face and keep reading it again just to make sure that I am just mistaken but I am not! I am not! It’s real. It is really that bank.A partnership with that bank? A partnership with him?I am too stunned and just staring somewhere the whole night. I can’t still process it. It doesn’t want to sink in and I keep shaking my head.‘’No, this isn’t true. This isn’t true.’’ I muttered while biting the tip of my nails to stop myself from panicking too much.I can still remember the exact details before.How I watch his sorrowful eyes while I am leaving. My heart aches because of that memory. I am a terrible person for hurting someone like him. I am so selfish that time but I don’t regret it. It is painful, indeed but I’ve grown because of my choices in life. I learned too and those times with him will always have a sp
It took me three hours before I finally opened the email. I immediately read it while eating a sandwich for lunch. I parked my car near a gasoline station after I full tanked it. I am wearing a crop top sleeveless inside my gray blazer and a black pants partnered with a stilettos. I am leaning in the car like I don’t care about all the people passing the street. I remember what Toni said, my worker from the main branch. She said we need to settle a partnership from a bank? A bank? Seriously? Bank is too big to have a partnership with. It somehow reminds me of someone who is too grumpy and annoying but always managed how to communicate with investors and partnerships. I heaved a sigh after I finished reading the email. TO; Owner of the Pan de Restaurant branches. We are very open for partnership to fully and finally receive the permit in the City of -. We are asking for the presence of the owner for clarification and words from him/ her too. Thank you and we are expecting for yo
In the next days, I decided to assign someone to watch for the restaurant. I decided to move in the City to settle the paper that is need to settle. I am building a branch there, finally. At first, I am hesitating to build it in the City and I asked myself why. I ask myself for a reason and I just can’t find a valid one especially if Masha keeps pushing me to do it. ‘’You know what, just push it. Do it already and do not hesitate. It is not about the past, in fact it can be your way to heal yourself, girl. It’s for the business too.’’ She keeps motivating me and it always works to me. Masha is such a good friend to me. I met her one year ago and I really enjoy her company and kindness. ‘’Yeah, don’t worry. I already made up my mind so nothing can change it anymore. I forgot to read the email, I need to hang this call already, Masha.’’ I uttered and she just groaned from the other line and for sure she is already rolling her eyes if we are together now. She is busy for her son’s mov