Chapter 1

He stared at the white witch as he couldn’t believe a word that came out of her mouth. Amanda was no longer leaving. She closed the door of his apartment once more and crossed her arms. From the beginning, she had been thinking how she should break the news to the man who lost his mate and a few months later, the body was taken from the grave. It wouldn’t be a pretty scene judging Cohen’s fragile control of his own mind.

Her hand stayed behind her, a small blue light was already forming. Amanda was ready to take down the former Alpha if he chose to attack her. She spent months and months perfecting her magic and everything that Mira taught her. Taking down an Alpha would be a piece of cake.

But Cohen was not just an Alpha. He was a berserk Alpha. That sentence spelled disaster.

“Who did it?” he asked, growling.

“We’re still investigating. It had been a week since her body was taken from her resting place. It took me a week to actually track you until here. Vincent was out of reach for some reasons,” Amanda replied.

“Are you telling me you hadn’t found out who took my mate’s body?”

“Like I said, we’re still investigating.”

“To hell your investigation!” he slammed his fists on the counter.

Cohen was no longer calm. Amanda revealed her hand and created an ice dagger from the thin air. She used it to arm herself as the former Alpha was losing his control rapidly. She cursed under her breath as this was Liam’s idea. Telling Cohen about Mira’s missing body would likely get herself killed. 

“Sorry,” he said with a shaky voice before taking several deep breaths as if he tried to calm himself. “It’s just...a little bit fragile in here.” he pointed to his head.

"I've noticed," Amanda replied, still wary about his situation.

There was no telling what Cohen might do to her at this moment. She didn't come here to get herself killed just because she told him about Mira's missing body. Amanda came here as professional courtesy knowing that Cohen wouldn't like it if they kept him in the dark from everything. That was one of the reasons why she risked her life to tell him the truth. Liam had given her order to bring Cohen back to the pack even if she had to knock him out. It didn't matter the methods.

"How do I know you're telling the truth? Maybe it's one of your tricks to bring me back to the pack," Cohen said.

Amanda refused to believe his statement. Cohen wasn't the type to question things when it came to Mira. He was denying himself about something. All these excuses were just his doing to keep himself away from his mate's grave. Amanda realized that Cohen had dwelled in the sorrow and guilt far too long. Mira wouldn't blame him anything. Her death had nothing to do with him. He did everything he could on that day to support her in the battle. Mira was a lost cause at the moment she decided to go after Damien even though she knew she barely had a functioning body due to her lack of blood. If anyone was to blame, it would be Damien. His endless pursues for the solution to their curse was the reason why Mira chose death. As long as she lived, there would always be someone trying to destroy everything just to get her blood.

"You tell me," Amanda challenged him. "Look into my eyes and tell me that I'm lying."

She approached him with courage as she kept her gaze fixated on his. But her heart was thumping vigorously against her rib cages. She still feared for her life as she no longer knew the man stood before her. Cohen might have looked the same but his personality had changed because of his instabled mind. 

Cohen looked away, putting away his dishes into the sink. “You should leave. Your heart is racing. Calm it down.”

Amanda took his words and left the apartment. As soon as the door closed, Cohen punched the wall in front of him in anger. He grabbed his backpack and left the apartment. His anger was surging inside but he kept himself calm and collected. Getting himself worked out like this would do more harm than good. He drove his car to the bridge where he would find Scotty. 

As usual, the young kid was sitting around the bonfire with several other adults as they warmed up their body. Scotty smiled as if he could sense Cohen’s presence in the area. He quickly got up and rushed to the former Alpha.

“Are we leaving now?” Scotty asked excitedly. 

Cohen knelt before him and said, “I’m sorry, Scotty. I have to leave.”

“Is it about her?” he pressed his palm against Cohen’s jacket’s pocket where he kept Mira’s picture.

Cohen nodded. “Yes.”

“It’s okay, then. I will wait for you.”

“Come with me. You don’t have to live this way anymore.”

Scotty shook his head. “This will always be my life. I like it here with these people.”

“Scotty…”

“I’ll be here waiting!” he ushered Cohen away. 

Cohen sighed in defeat before nodding in agreement. To be honest, Scotty had helped him cope with Mira’s death a lot. At his terrible moment, Scotty appeared like an Angel slowly curing Cohen’s anger with love. He would feel bad if he just left Scotty here by himself.

“I’ll be fine,” Scotty assured him.

Cohen nodded before taking his leave. Even though it was hard for him, he knew Scotty would be just fine. One day, he would really convince Scotty to stay with him. He still had a promise he needed to fulfill. 

Cohen hopped in his car, making the final glance to where Scotty was. Then, he drove away with determination to settle his problem once and for all. Seeing Scotty’s face one last time was giving Cohen a sense of calmness throughout his journey to return to the pack mansion.

He didn’t know what he would expect but it wouldn’t be a pretty scene. He had heard a lot of things happened in the pack since his departure but knowing Liam, the pack was still intact. Cohen was anxious along the way. His hand kept touching the left side of his chest to soothe the pain. 

He pulled the handbrake and killed the engine. Cohen drove for twelve hours straight without the need of sleep. He zoned out in the truck for a moment as he was feeling nervous about coming back here after nine months. There were too many things running through his mind at once, and he couldn’t get a good grip on any of them. Nine months weren’t a short amount of time. Anything could have happened during that nine months.

Many things happened to him. Not because of fate or anything, but because he wanted those things to happen. He was involved in illegal fights as he thought it was the only way to quench his rage for losing Mira. Fight after fight, it didn’t exhaust him at all. 

That was until Amanda showed up and told him that somebody took Mira’s body from her grave. That angered Cohen to the maximum point. His blood boiled and the only thing in his mind was a lust to create havoc upon the person who took his mate’s body from her resting place. If the thoughts of retrieving her body didn’t come across his mind, he probably had lost his entire sanity. How could someone do that to his mate after all she went through? What kind of sick bastard would take a body from the resting place? The thought of not protecting Mira’s body made Cohen feel like an ultimate failure. He failed to protect her when she was alive. Now, he failed to do it again when she was dead. What kind of a mate had he become?

Taking a deep breath, he exited the vehicle and closed the door. Going back here again after nine months, it suddenly felt alien to him. Cohen felt he didn’t fit in anymore. He looked at the enormous building before him. He saw a lot of changes in the structures. It seemed Liam did go through several reconstructions that Cohen kept delayed because of his busy schedule.

The front door swung open, and his mother, Georgia, ran out after the news of his return spread like a wildfire. The moment her arms wrapped around his body, she cried as much as her eyes allowed her.

“Oh, my baby boy. Why didn’t you come home? This is your home. Your family.” She sobbed harder.

Cohen’s heart clenched. He didn’t mean to make her sad after what she had sacrificed to raise him to be the son and Alpha she wanted him to be. He wanted to make her proud—not sad and broken like this. Enough with him broken. He didn’t want anyone else to be broken because of him.

“I’m sorry, mama. You know I had to leave.” He kissed the top of her head.

He didn’t mean to leave everyone like that. It was his responsibility to stay strong despite everything. But, after what had happened, Cohen knew he had to leave in order to keep his sanity together. Losing a mate wasn’t the easiest thing that a werewolf could experience. In fact, it felt like half of him died at the moment he lost Mira.

Eric walked down the stairs slowly, looking unable to believe that his son was finally here again. Cohen let go of his mother and headed to his old man. This was the man who taught him everything. Eric taught Cohen to fight and defend himself since he could walk. He was always with his father during the training.

Cohen considered his father the greatest challenge. He always felt very competitive because he knew how good his father was. Eric excelled in everything and Cohen would make sure he broke every accomplishment his father had achieved. That was how competitive Cohen was.

To be the best like his old man. To be better than him.

But his father never taught him one thing.

The lesson to survive and moving forward without a mate.

Cohen felt like he was an ultimate failure.

He had failed his mate.

He had failed his parents.

He had failed his entire pack.

“Dad,” Cohen called softly as he kept his gaze to the ground.

“You’re stupid, you know that,” Eric said sternly.

Once an Alpha would always be an Alpha. The authority in his voice could make any other Alpha bowed to his command.

Despite the sternness in his father’s voice, Cohen could hear the disappointment was evident.

He nodded. “Yes.”

“Leaving your pack just like that. How could you be so irresponsible? I did not teach you to be like that.” Eric wanted to be strict with Cohen at this moment but his voice was cracking. “I did not...” he paused, looking away briefly as tears pooled in his eyes. “I did not teach you to leave! We as Alpha, we stand strong no matter what we face. We don’t show any moment of weakness.”

The anger he had for his son for leaving was unquestionable. A pack without a real Alpha was like an open invitation for a challenge. Not to mention the Council was still on their tail. But, knowing what his son had to go through, Eric had to make an exception.

Cohen kept his head lowered, unable to meet the gaze of his own father. The only wrath he would accept was from his father.

Eric pulled him in his embrace. “You are my only son. How could you leave your mother and I just like that?”

“I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter now.” He put his hands on Cohen’s shoulders. “You are home with us now. We would make this through together as a family.”

Home.

Could this place be his home once again? Cohen drew in a deep breath as he stared at the pack mansion that he grew up in. When he was a kid, he spent five days a week here and during the weekend, he stayed with his parents in their own home. Now, it felt different because a home was supposed to be where he was with his mate. Without Mira, there was no place that felt like home anymore. He couldn’t stay here knowing this place was where he spent most of his time with her.

“I’m going to stay at the lake house,” He said after a while.

Sadness was still evident in his tone. The lake house held enough memory of him and Mira. Maybe he would find a little bit of peace there. Cohen didn’t want to distance himself from the pack but he wasn’t ready to face everyone everyday. At least at the lake house, he could be by himself without worrying how others viewed him as the former Alpha. 

Maybe that house where Cohen would start anew.