4: Divorce

By the time I woke up, it was afternoon. Maybe, I wasn't sure.

    The atmosphere was warm, probably from the open windows or the breakfast in bed. Tyler was wearing causal White tee shirt and matching short. His short blonde hair scattered on his forehead and eyelids, and he kept pushing them back. I could visibly see his fingers pattern as he had done that a lot before I woke up. 

      "You are up?" He said questionably, "You know I want to make your birthday up for you".

   His tone, it was like he didn't want me to wake or he actually said that sarcastically. Well, I didn't care much. I just needed to know what he would do or say instead of glaring at me with such a distasteful look. 

    Flash back of yesterday flooded, and I couldn't help but smirked involuntarily. I shouldn't have done that as I immediately heard the sound of glass shattered and the bed-breakfast went across the room. I flinched, looked around, trying to get the shattered glass and wonder why he had done it. 

Tyler doesn't show his anger, at least, he would ignore me and have me beg him all day or days. 

    I looked up at Tyler to see his pissed blue eyes. 

     "You acted like a whore!" He snapped. 

   Embarrassed and angry, I adjusted on the bed and saw what he had done. All this while I was sleeping, he had other arrangements. So by the time I woke up, Tyler had laid out a feast, probably cold, can't tell. 

       "I did all this for you" He point at the meal. 

     I gulped. 

   Fact, I was hungry, but with the look on his face, I would vouch that my husband would poison me. He might just take a piece of glass from the floor and stab me with it. 

       "Look what you made me do, Hayley! " He yelled "Don't I give you enough you fucking bitch!? "

    I flinched and was beginning to grow really scared. 

     All these should be some new way of his charades. No nagging, gas lighting, manipulating me and telling me no one would have me because I had always been what he does. 

       "I should have known you have always been a whore, you belong to the street. " He snarled as he gestured as if wanting me to look at the mess he had done. 

       Wow! 

    All this and he is claiming he had wanted to make it up to me. The sight of the elaborate spread on the dining table should have been enticing, but it only served to further agitate my aching head. As I made my way downstairs, I noticed Tyler's restless pacing and the way his eyes narrowed when they landed on me.

      So he felt it! Cheating on me all these years. 

  I knew. I just decided to willingly turn blind because I thought he loves me. 

         "You could not just stay home? I gave you a mansion! I gave you all and not even a child did you give me you barren whore! "

   

       The accusatory tone in his voice grated on my nerves, and I found myself unable to offer any coherent explanation, my mind consumed by the throbbing pain in my head.

Tyler's suspicions quickly spiraled out of control, and he began hurling insults, calling me a "whore" and demanding a divorce.

   At first I pretended not to hear him, but he moved closer and yanked my chin. 

        "I want a divorce. I already have my lawyer and you will be signing the papers in Seconds"

         My heartache.

    A divorce isn't something you just do a day, this means Tyler had always wanted to kick me out. He wanted me to make a mistake and that was what I did yesterday. 

        'Omg! '

      "I did all for you. You lacked nothing and not only you didn't give me a child as I always wanted, you cheated on me"

      As he ranted about how he had done everything for me, while I had the audacity to betray him. The sheer intensity of his outburst overwhelmed me, and I simply lacked the energy to argue or defend myself. Feeling utterly defeated, I silently made my way to the bathroom and collapsed in the tub, still nursing my pounding headache and wallowing in a profound sense of self-pity.

     I filled the tub while he rant more but what I was more concerned about wad the urge to puke, cry, yell and run out to stab him. 

There are glass pieces on the floor and I can just stab him with one and call it self defense, can I? 

       I knew I cheated and I did regret it. 

   Wait! I didn't regret it. 

         I felt no remorse for what had transpired. The pain and betrayal I had endured had numbed me, and all I desired was to escape this waking nightmare. I lay there, staring at the ceiling, lost in my thoughts, until a female staff member entered the room to deliver a message from Tyler.

    Ohh, I thought he was still out yelling. 

     "Ma'am, Mr Tyler said you should not bath and I need to prepare you for the hospital for check up immediately" she said avoiding my gaze. 

Apparently, in a rare moment of lucidity, Tyler had instructed the staff member to take me to the hospital before I bathed, concerned about the state of my health. Ashamed, angry, and resentful that he had the audacity to cheat first, I lashed out at the maid. 

      "Go tell him to fuck himself! " I yelled as I immediately began to use soap on my body. 

        "Tell him to come drink the bath water too when I am done" I added as I watched her walk out. 

      Refusing to comply with his request was absolutely devilish of me. Tyler would not like it but he wants me out anyway. I no longer cared about what Tyler would say or how he would try to claim that he had done everything for me.

     Soon I was out and dressed in a simple, comfortable dress. I didn't care to come out of my room, so when I got hungry, I tiptoed past the broken glass on the floor and grabbed an apple from the meal Tyler had left. 

     I refused to do anything, not even to think about the fact that Tyler said he would divorce me. 

   Who was I kidding? I got tired at a point and got out my room. Funny how Tyler was out all day, probably fucking another whore that isn't me. 

        As the evening wore on, Tyler finally returned home. Without preamble, he handed me a stack of divorce papers, and glared at me. 

       "You know I can't be with a cheating woman like you," He half whispered. 

    The words struck me like a blow to the gut, and I felt the air leaving my lungs. Devastation consumed me, but a part of me also felt a sense of relief that this toxic relationship was finally coming to an end.

       I took the pen he offered, walked to a table and proceed to sign, but I stopped to look at him. 

      "On the night of my birthday. You know I saw you with that woman. I knew you came back drunk too and lied about having to do work. I know you have been fucking around for as long as we have been married and I never said anything"

       I was forcing myself not to cry. I would not let him see me cry especially with uncertain look on his face. He looked like he wasn't going to denial about his affairs and he was right to cheat too. 

        Pissed, I maintain gaze with him and gave him the last piece of my mind! 

         "Well, Good thing I didn't have any of your little rascals because I would happily wash them away. That is if you can even give me a child you cheating bag of self centered narcissist! " I added. 

     That was refreshing. 

The following days were a blur of emotions. I oscillated between overwhelming sadness, anger, and a desperate longing for closure. The divorce proceedings were a grueling ordeal, with Tyler's lawyers pressing for the most favorable terms, while I struggled to find the strength to fight back. It was as if the very act of breathing had become my worst nightmare, and I found myself retreating further into my own inner turmoil.

   I had a little money, it was obvious and without Tyler I am nothing but I need my life. 

In the midst of this emotional maelstrom, I found solace in the quiet moments of solitude, self loathing and hatred for my soon ex husband. I soon allowed myself to truly confront the depth of my feelings, acknowledging the pain, the betrayal, and the overwhelming sense of loss that threatened to consume me.

      As the divorce proceedings dragged on, I found myself reflecting on the journey that had led me to this point. The memories of our courtship, the early days of our marriage, and the gradual erosion of trust and intimacy all played out in my mind like a bittersweet symphony. I often wondered where I had gone wrong, whether I had failed to heed any warning signs, or if this was simply the inevitable conclusion to a relationship that was doomed from the start.

Despite the overwhelming sense of defeat, a glimmer of hope began to emerge, a newfound determination to reclaim my life and my identity. I knew that the road ahead would be long and arduous, but I was determined to find the strength to heal, to rebuild, and to emerge from this experience a stronger and more resilient person.

As I finalized the signing of the final papers and made the divorce official, a strange mix of emotions washed over me – relief, grief, and a cautious optimism for the future. As I signed the final papers and made the divorce official, I felt a strange mix of emotions – relief, grief, and a cautious optimism for the future. Yet, with each passing day, I found myself taking small steps forward, slowly but surely, reclaiming my sense of self and embracing the prospect of a new chapter in my life.

Freedom.