CHAPTER 7

Meeri's POV

I just want to clear things about me and Uncle Ilay but now...

"W-what did y-you say?" I stuttered, but I can't help it!

Hindi agad umimik si Uncle Ilay kaya naman napatingin na lang ako sa daan at napahawak sa aking dibdib. I guess he didn't say anything. Yeah. It's probably my hallucinations. I'm hallucinating!

"The kiss," saad ni Uncle Ilay. "I like it. It was my intention to kiss you that time. And I did it because—"

"Stop!" pagpuputol ko sa kaniyang sinasabi.

Because he likes me. I know. He already says it a while ago and I'm not hallucinating. This is all real. He's confessing his feelings to me, his niece.

"Y-you're not supposed to feel that way," mahina kong saad at humigpit sa pagkakahawak sa seatbelt na nakakabit sa aking katawan.

I don't like how this conversation goes. How I wish we can reach the school sooner.

"I know," tugon nito at muli akong sinulyapan. "God knows how many times I tried to avoid and stop myself falling but... it was imposible. The images of you, smiling, pissed, laughing, crying, everything, always ran through my mind. As I watched you grow, I kept on falling, and now I can't find myself from the void I've fallen."

'...as I watched you grow.' That thing keeps ringing on my mind. He didn't loved me when I was just a kid... isn't he?

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman, isipin, ikilos, at sabihin dahil sa mga narinig. I didn't expect all of this. This is too sudden.

... I just made the situation worse.

"We're here," pag-iimporma ni Uncle Ilay pero hindi ako nakakilos sa aking pwesto. I know, hinihintay kong makarating na sa school para matakasan na ang usapang ito, but this made me stunned. My brain can't process everything so my body can't move.

Nanlaki ang aking mata at napaatras nang mapansin ang mukha ni Uncle Ilay malapit sa aking mukha. Tinanggal nito ang pagkakasuot ng aking seatbelt at pinunasan ang namamawis kong noo, sabay hinalikan iyon.

"Don't worry. I won't force you to love me too," bulong nito at lumayo na sa akin.

Nanginginig man pero nagawa kong buksan ang pinto at lumabas doon bitbit ang bag ko. Isinarado ko na rin ang pinto at dumiretso na sa paglalakad papasok ng hindi siya nililingon.

This is f*cked up!

Pagkarating ko sa aking opisina ay isinalampak ko agad ang aking katawan sa silya. Ramdam ko ang pag-iinit ng buo kong mukha at hindi mapakali ang aking puso.

Pumikit ako at sinimulang pakalmahin ang aking sarili. May klase pa ako kaya hindi dapat ito makaapekto sa pagtuturo ko. Kailangan kong isantabi na muna ito. Act like a professional, Meeri. I know you can do it.

Pagdilat ng aking mata ay okay na ang lahat. Naabsorb ko na ang mga sinabi ni Uncle Ilay pero nababalot ng katanungan ang isip ko na alam kong siya lang ang makakasagot pero... I don't think kaya ko pa siyang harapin sa ngayon.

"Ma'am Salazar, pinapatawag ka po ng principal," pamamalita ng isang estudyante kaya naman tumango ako at nagpasalamat.

Iwinakli ko na muna ang lahat ng iniisip ko bago nagtungo sa Principal's Office. Nang makita si Ma'am Pia ay agad ko naman itong nilapitan at naupo sa bakanteng silya sa tapat ng desk nito. Her face, she looks troubled.

"Ma'am Pia, pasensya na po kung late ako," anas ko at umayos sa aking pagkakaupo. "Ano nga po pala ang gusto niyong pag-usapan?"

"Ma'am Salazar." Huminto ito at bumuntong-hininga. "Paniguradong aware ka na sa issue na laganap ngayon sa social media, tama?" panimula nito na tinanguan ko naman. "I don't think that should be posted and be known by other people especially your students. I know, those comments were all lies. They don't have any proofs and keeps on making stories but still... they're ruining your reputation and you are a teacher. You should be the role model of these students."

Hindi naman ako nakasagot sa mga sinabi nito at napayuko na lang.

I can't avoid this I know but... f*ck.

Great. Just great. The break up already gave me too much heartache but the issue was ruining my reputation too as a teacher.

Just how far will this go?

"Should I leave the school?"

"No, Ma'am Salazar," agad na pagpipigil sa akin ni Ma'am Pia at huminga ng malalim. "You're good in your profession. We need you, the school needs you, especially the students. But, we need to ask that you should make a way to stop this. Probably talking about your ex and his management to stop spreading bad news about you 'cause you're not a bad person."

"Thank you for you trust, Ma'am Pia," sagot ko at ngumiti. "Don't worry, I'll talk to them and wrap this things up. And I'm really sorry for the trouble."

"That's okay with me. But I hope you're fine."

Ngumiti na lamang ako at hindi na sumagot. Nagpaalam na ako rito dahil may first class pa ako at pumayag naman siya. Dinaanan ko lang sa library ang gamit ko bago tumungo sa first class ko, it was my advisory class. At gaya ng inaasahan ko, bumungad sa akin ang walang tigil na chismisan at dinig na dinig ko pa ang pangalan ko.

"Good morning, class!" bati ko pero walang bumati pabalik. They probably don't want to greet a teacher with an issue all over the internet. I see.

Naupo na ako sa silya at binuklat ang librong hawak ko. "I talk to Ma'am Divad and asked on when did your discussion ends and..." Natigilan ako nang magsimula silang mag-ingay sa paligid na para bang walang guro sa harapan. Nanahimik na lang ako at pinanood sila.

Ilang minuto ang lumipas hanggang sa mapansin nilang wala akong imik ay nagsitigil na sila't nakapokus na ang atensyon sa akin kaya naman suminghap ako at isinarado ang libro.

"Now, I want you to prepare a title for your research. This will be individual. And we'll have a title defense tomorrow," anunsyo ko na ikinasinghap ng lahat.

"Pero kasasabi mo lang ngayon!" reklamo ng isa at sinundan iyon ng iba.

"What? You can't do that?" painosente kong tanong na ikinabakas ng pagkairita sa kanilang mga mukha. "You've been talking to your chairs even though y'all know that there's a teacher in front. Doesn't that mean y'all are not interested in listening to me since you already knew everything? Only smart people can do that and it looks like you all are smart. I'm amazed. So we'll settle these things next meeting."

May nagtaas ng kamay at tumayo agad ito ng walang permiso. At least he still raised his hands.

"Pero kasasabi mo lang po ngayon. Kailangan din namin ng time para makapag-isip ng title at magresearch agad para sa background para may masabi sa title defense," pangangatwiran nito na sinang-ayunan ng lahat.

"Then, kailan ang gusto niyo?" malamig kong tanong.

"Three weeks after!" sagot ng isa at nakipag-apir sa kaniyang katabi.

"Hanggang doon lang ba ang kaya niyo?" pangungewstyon ko na ikinatahimik nila at tumaas agad ang tensyon sa apat na sulok ng classroom. Yeah, I know, what I said is quite offensive.

"Next week," sabat naman ng babae sa harapan. Gaya ng dati ay ngumunguya ito ng bubble gum. "Next week Monday, I'll do the title defense and even the research defense," puno ng pagmamalaki niyang sambit kaya naman napangiti ako.

"Very good then. How about the others?"

Nagsimula silang magbulong-bulungan at kalauna'y pumayag na next week ang title defense pero tanging title lang. They don't have the guts like this girl has.

"That's fix then," komento ko at ngumiti. "But I'm really amazed to your section. They say this is the worse section but at least you're all smart and wise. I like it."

Walang umimik sa kanila, actually sa ekspresyon nila ay mukhang iniisip ng mga ito na iniinsulto ko sila. But I don't. I really don't.

"Now, let's do some review of what you learned in your practical research 1, that thing you study in your grade 11..." Sinimulan ko na ang discussion at nakinig naman sila.

A forced agreement is set up but at least now they know how to shut their mouth whenever there's a teacher in front. This is just a first day, and I need to continue this to discipline them.

This is the reason why teachers are called the second parent. We are obligated to discipline them.