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CHAPTER 18: JACK
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TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 19: SANDRA
I had checked my cell obsessively since Monday. It was Wednesday, and I hadn't heard a thing from Patrick. If he was telling the truth, a week from now I'll be looking into his pitiful eyes.And that scared me.I didn't want him here, and there was only so much longer I could pretend and not tell the girls exactly what was happening. I didn't want to keep it from them, but there wasn't much I could do. If he wasn't coming, then there was no need to tell them the gritty details of my life in New York. If he does come... Then it might be too late.I hated not knowing. I hated the uncertainty that encompasses my brother in a thick cloud. Nothing with him was ever definite, except drugs. But then again, when was anything with anyone ever definite? It's not. Not ever.I swallowed my sigh, tapping my pen against the table. I glanced at the clock for the thousandth time in ten minutes. The second hand was moving at a snail's pace, zero point zero miles per hour, it seemed.For the first time
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 20: JACK
There were too many levels in this game, and I was not ready for the one it was climbing to. That level had a big fat fuckin' neon sign declaring the game over, and reality starting. Reality, with Sandra?Reality, with anyone?When I was six, I assumed I'd grow up and marry Maggy, like all little kids do. You marry your favorite person, and at six that's your best friend, right? Yeah. What a laugh.Now, Maggy is my little sister. She's the one person I'd go to hell for. I'd take a bullet for her, I'd kill for her, and I will protect her until she doesn't need it anymore – and I'll probably do it even then.Saturday marked two weeks since this game started, and with every day that passed I got to know Sandra a little more. She was guarded. There were a lot of secrets behind those pretty green eyes, despite how revealing they were for her emotions. I wanted to know what those secrets were, because despite it all, I was starting to fucking care about her.I was starting to care about the
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 21: SANDRA
I gOt it. I understood why every girl went crazy about Jack, because that guy could do crazy stuff with just his fingers.But I still hated him. And I hated even more than I couldn't just say it.“Umm.” I hid my face.“You've done it already?!” Leila shrieked, jumping up.“Oh my god, no!” I waved my hands. “No, no, no!”“But you've done something, haven't you?” Kayle asked, her eyes wide with humor. “I can tell.”“Y-yes.” I mumbled.Maggie licked her lips, smiled, and uncapped her pen. “So, do tell.”“I'm not telling you that!” My cheeks burned.“Oh!” Kayle laughed. “Priceless! She's embarrassed over a game! Oh my god. It gets better, guys.”“Go away,” I muttered. “I just.... I'm not giving sordid details.”“Come on,” Maggie grinned. “Just say it. We've all done it all.”“You guys,” Leila scolded and turned to me. “Sandra, did you have sex with Jack?”“No.”“Did you, you know, blow his whistle?”I snorted. “Blow his whistle?”“Did you suck his lollipop?” Kayle lied on her stomach, sha
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 22: JACK
I rubbed her hair between my fingers, watching her intently. She fidgeted under my intense scrutiny, and all I could think of was the way she fidgeted underneath me as she cum.She sighed and wriggled, shifting away from me. A slow smirk broke out on my lips, and I twirled the same lock of hair around my finger. She ran a hand through her hair. I dropped her hair, immediately picking it back up when she dropped her hand back to the table. This was fun.“Mr Cole, are you concentrating?” Mr. Jessop asked me.“Yes, Sir.”“On my lesson, or Miss Stevens here?”“That would be the last option, Sir.” I turned my head and grinned. “But at least I'm concentrating, right?”“Yes.” He hid his smile. “As lovely as Miss Stevens is, do you think you could concentrate on my lesson for the last ten minutes of class instead?”Sandra looked at me and smileed. I winked at her.“I'll try, Sir, but I'm not promising anything.”Mr. Jessop shook his head and turned back to the board.I dropped Sandra's hair,
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 23: SANDRA
“Forget your pajamas.”“Why would I forget my pajamas?”“Because then you either have to sleep in your underwear, nude, or in one of his shirts,” Maggie explained.“And there's nothing sexier than a girl in a guy's shirt,” Leila added. “I wear Josh's all the time. It's guaranteed sex.”“I'm not at the sex stage yet, Leila.”“So? It's almost week three, right?” She looked up at the poster on the wall, tracing her finger along the steps. “So that means sexual seduction can commence.”I dumped my bag on my bed and sat down on Kayle's opposite it. “You pack my bag then.”“Yes!” Maggie scrambled up from my pillow and attacked my dresser, pulling drawers open. “Oooh! This!” She turned, holding up a black silky underwear set I bought months ago, yet never wore. She tugged off the labels and Leila emptied my bag. The underwear went in, along with my make-up, hairbrush, and clothes for tomorrow.Leila zipped it up. “Done.”“Really? Underwear, clothes, and minimum toiletries? That's it?!” I shr
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 24: JACK
“You think I'm beautiful?” she whispered softly. Of course, that would be what she heard.“Yeah.” I turned her face up to mine. “I do. You are beautiful, Sandra. Inside and out.”And I was being completely fucking honest. She was not hot, or fit, or bangable. She was beautiful, she was sexy and she was sweet.She closed her eyes and, when she opened them, they were glistening with tears. Oh fuck.“Did I say something wrong?”She shook her head and spinned in my arms, sliding her arms around my waist. Her cheek pressed against my chest and I felt her take a deep breath. I held her to me tightly.“No,” she whispered. “No you didn't.”“Then why are you crying?”Her shoulders shook, and she looked up at me, a smile on her face even though her eyes were filled with tears. “Because it makes me happy.”“Good,” I whispered and kissed the corners of her eyes, kissing the tears away. “I like making you happy, Sandra.” And I did. For some reason, I did.I pulled her over to my bed and climbed in
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 25: SANDRA
I remembered it. I remembered it like it was yesterday. Every detail was etched into my mind, and when I let myself remember – like now – it played out like an old movie strip. The memories were cracked, a little fuzzy in some places, and sometimes the sound went, but I still remembered. I still knew. I knew it all.“We'd been out for a girls night. It wasn't anything unusual. Once or twice a month, Mom insisted we had some girl time, and we headed for dinner and a movie, maybe some shopping. It was our time where we caught up on life. We talked boys, music, clothes. Everything.”“It sounds like you were close.”“We were.” A small smile graced my lips. “She was my best friend.”“Tell me about her.”“Everyone says I look like her, but I don't think so. Mom was beautiful. Sure, we had the same hair and the same green eyes, but she had this inner goodness that radiated out of her. She was always happy and smiling, always ready to lend a hand. She worked at a local youth center with young
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 26: JACK
I hated Sundays. There was something so fucking dull about them.So maybe that was why I was at the beach. Contrary to popular belief, I was not the biggest fan of sun, sea, and sand. Nor was I the next champion surfer.But Sandra wanted to come, and the rules of the game state that what Sandra wanted, Sandra gets. So, here I was. Getting sand up my shorts and, if I was not careful, a crab pincer around my balls.“You didn't have to come with me. I'm capable of sunbathing by myself,” Sandra said, lying on her back on the sand.I rolled onto my side and proped myself up on my arm. “And why would I not come? I like spending time with you.” I dragged my finger across her flat stomach, and she squirmed.“Because.” She shrugged a shoulder.“Because?”“Yep. Because.”I flipped over and straddled her. She squealed and pulled her sunglasses off, flinging them to the side. She looked up at me, and I grinned wolfishly.“What?”“Why are you sitting on me?”“I felt like it.”“You felt like it.”“
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TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 83: EPILOGUE (AUSTIN)
I tugged the zipper of my jacket up higher as a cold wind blew in off San Francisco Bay, and fought the urge to turn and ran back to the marina. I won’t run. This was something that had to be done, for me.Maggie squeezed my hand, curling into my arm, and we began to walk into the small cemetery where my mom was buried.I felt sick. Emotion stronger than I had felt in a long time swirled around my whole body, from hatred to pity, fear to anger, yet through it all … Through it all was a bit of love for the woman that tried and failed to give me life.We weaved silently through the graves and markers, heading to the back of the cemetery. I held the white rose I bought tightly, clutching it to my chest, and tried to breathe deeply.I would never forgive her and I would never forget her, but I could finally be at peace with her.The small, black marble headstone sat alongside my
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 82: MAGGIE
I slid down from Storm’s back and patted his neck lovingly, hooking his reins around a tree branch in the shade. I took my helmet off, shook out my hair, and looked under the roots for the basket I asked June to place there earlier. Storm turned his attention to the water I had given him, and I lied the blanket out on the ground on the other side of the small tree. Excited, I sat down and waited for Austin to catch up.Palm Canyon trail was one of my favorite to take – it always had been. Sitting there by the stream and letting Storm rest was a weekly pastime before I left for Berkeley. We’d do the other trails on our other rides, but our Saturdays were always reserved for this.And now I remembered why.The green of the fauna was a stark contrast to the barren desert beyond, and the rocks that dotted the stream were just big enough to sit on. It was beautiful here. Peaceful in the winter when no one came here.“How do I get down?&
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 81: AUSTIN(cont..)
Maggie ran her hand down my body, her fingers tracing the defining lines of the muscle. I sighed deeply, pulling her closer to me, and breathed in the vanilla scent of her hair. No matter where she had been or what she had done, she always smelt like vanilla.“What are we doing today?” I asked, my fingertips following the curve of her spine right to her ass.She shuddered. “I thought we could go riding.”“I get the feeling we’re not talking about bedroom riding.”She looked up at me, her hair messy, and smiled. “No. Horse riding. I don’t go at college and I miss it.”“I’ve never ridden a horse.”“I’ll teach you.”“Um.”“You taught me to fish,” she reminded me. “You made me fish!”“I guess there’s no way around this, huh?”She shook her head, rolling on top of me. Her knees went either side of my hips, trapping me, and her hair fell around my face. She slowly lowered her face to mine, sucking my bottom lip into her mouth and grazing her teeth across it. I slid my hands along her thighs
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 80: AUSTIN
“This is going to be a disaster,” Maggie muttered, pulling onto a street with houses worth more than I could ever dream of making. Most were three-story buildings, all with driveways, garages and perfectly pruned front yards.I fidgeted in my seat. A small voice in the back of my mind whispered about the differences in our lives. It reminded me how different it was here compared to where I started life in San Francisco. I glanced at Maggie and told the voice to fuck off.My past doesn’t define who I am. The here and now does.Gramps whistled low. “What, you got a pool and all?”“Hope you brought your swimming trunks,” she commented in a chipper voice.“Good job I did, then.” Gramps patted his stomach. “Love a good swim.”She turned the car onto a driveway leading to one of the three-story houses. The drive was lined by circular bushes and winter flowers. I looked up at the hou
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 79: MAGGIE(cont..)
Everything was easier when the secret was out. Now I didn’t have to worry about looking at Austin wrong or saying something that might look suspicious. I didn’t have to watch my every movement, bite my tongue or clench my fists so I didn’t touch him.And I loved it.I loved that we could just be.I didn’t care about the whispers from people outside our circle of friends, the ones who didn’t know the truth, and I didn’t care about the looks that came from other girls. I just cared that I could fall into his arms when I found him standing outside my classroom, just like he was now.“Shakespeare hasn’t killed you yet, then,” he said as he smiled at me, taking my hand.I looked over at him. “No, not yet, but there’s every possibility of it in the future.”“Not a damn chance.”“How
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 78: MAGGIE
“Are you telling me I could be standing here all day and not catch a thing?”Gramps cacklesd across the boat. “That’s exactly what he’s telling you!”I turned my face toward Austin, and he grinned. “What?”“I can’t believe I got roped into this.” This was ridiculous. I ate fish. I didn’t catch it. Hell.“Hey.” His hands fell to my hips and he nudged my collar from my neck with his nose. His lips brushed the skin of my neck. “This was your idea, remember?”“Yes …” My idea for them.Austin’s nose ran up and down my neck, his breath hot against me, and I swallowed.“So you didn’t get roped into anything. You had to know that you’d end up fishing,” he reasoned.“Mhmm.”“So why are you so surprised?”I shivered when he took a deep breath and exhaled against my skin. His hands slid down my sides to the front pockets of my jeans. He placed his fingers in them, spreading them out and stroking my legs, before taking them back out.“I’m not,” I whispered.“Then don’t complain.” He was smiling a
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 77: AUSTIN (cont..)
“What are we doing?” I asked as Maggie tugged me towards my car.“It’s Sunday,” she said simply. “We’re going to see your Gramps.”“Okay, but that doesn’t explain why you have a damn picnic basket with you.”“Fine – we’re going to see your Gramps and take him out for the day. Better?” She raised an eyebrow at me, and I grinned, starting the engine up.“Much. But where are we going?”“You’ll see.”She settled back in her seat, smiling to herself. If I’d hoped to get any clues from her outfit, I’d definitely not got any luck. Her jeans, jacket, and boots were nothing out of the ordinary – but her tied up hair was.Not that it meant anything in particular … Apart from making me want to nuzzle her bare neck.We pulled up outside Gramps’ house and got out. When I opened the door, I wa
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 76: AUSTIN
The rough bark of the tree dug into my back. Apart from with Maggie, outside was the only place that gave me peace. Even as I waited for the inevitable conversation with Jack – the one where I’ll have to admit why I need her so much. He deserved that much after what we had done to him, and I was ready for it. Because of Maggie I was finally ready to start opening up about my life.“Still a spacey bastard.” He smirked.“No fist in my eye?” I smirked back at him.He shrugged a shoulder. “I considered it. Several fucking times. Then figured it just ain’t worth it since I’d probably get more punches from those damn girls than it’s worth.”He was probably right.“But that doesn’t mean I won’t kick the shit out of you if you break her fucking heart.”“I wasn’t joking when I said I loved her yesterday,” I said bluntly, staring him down with t
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 75: MAGGIE ( cont..)
My heart was in complete contradiction of itself. Lying there in Austin’s arms, half of it was lighter than it had been in the last few weeks. The lightness came from the truth being told. But the other half was heavy, like a lead weight was holding it down and pinning it to the ground.I shifted, and Austin’s grip on me tightened. I ran my fingers through his hair, smoothing it back from his face, and studied him. Now he looked like he was at peace. The lines on his forehead I had seen so many times were now completely smooth, his mouth was slightly open, and his breathing was even and steady.But his peace had come at the torment of my best friend – who was somewhere in this house, probably awake. He’d be hating himself for being mad at me, happy I found the love he had, and guilty I felt like I couldn’t tell him.In fact he wouldn’t be at the house. I knew exactly where he’ll be.I climbed out of bed, and there
