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CHAPTER 22: JACK
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TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 23: SANDRA
“Forget your pajamas.”“Why would I forget my pajamas?”“Because then you either have to sleep in your underwear, nude, or in one of his shirts,” Maggie explained.“And there's nothing sexier than a girl in a guy's shirt,” Leila added. “I wear Josh's all the time. It's guaranteed sex.”“I'm not at the sex stage yet, Leila.”“So? It's almost week three, right?” She looked up at the poster on the wall, tracing her finger along the steps. “So that means sexual seduction can commence.”I dumped my bag on my bed and sat down on Kayle's opposite it. “You pack my bag then.”“Yes!” Maggie scrambled up from my pillow and attacked my dresser, pulling drawers open. “Oooh! This!” She turned, holding up a black silky underwear set I bought months ago, yet never wore. She tugged off the labels and Leila emptied my bag. The underwear went in, along with my make-up, hairbrush, and clothes for tomorrow.Leila zipped it up. “Done.”“Really? Underwear, clothes, and minimum toiletries? That's it?!” I shr
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 24: JACK
“You think I'm beautiful?” she whispered softly. Of course, that would be what she heard.“Yeah.” I turned her face up to mine. “I do. You are beautiful, Sandra. Inside and out.”And I was being completely fucking honest. She was not hot, or fit, or bangable. She was beautiful, she was sexy and she was sweet.She closed her eyes and, when she opened them, they were glistening with tears. Oh fuck.“Did I say something wrong?”She shook her head and spinned in my arms, sliding her arms around my waist. Her cheek pressed against my chest and I felt her take a deep breath. I held her to me tightly.“No,” she whispered. “No you didn't.”“Then why are you crying?”Her shoulders shook, and she looked up at me, a smile on her face even though her eyes were filled with tears. “Because it makes me happy.”“Good,” I whispered and kissed the corners of her eyes, kissing the tears away. “I like making you happy, Sandra.” And I did. For some reason, I did.I pulled her over to my bed and climbed in
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 25: SANDRA
I remembered it. I remembered it like it was yesterday. Every detail was etched into my mind, and when I let myself remember – like now – it played out like an old movie strip. The memories were cracked, a little fuzzy in some places, and sometimes the sound went, but I still remembered. I still knew. I knew it all.“We'd been out for a girls night. It wasn't anything unusual. Once or twice a month, Mom insisted we had some girl time, and we headed for dinner and a movie, maybe some shopping. It was our time where we caught up on life. We talked boys, music, clothes. Everything.”“It sounds like you were close.”“We were.” A small smile graced my lips. “She was my best friend.”“Tell me about her.”“Everyone says I look like her, but I don't think so. Mom was beautiful. Sure, we had the same hair and the same green eyes, but she had this inner goodness that radiated out of her. She was always happy and smiling, always ready to lend a hand. She worked at a local youth center with young
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 26: JACK
I hated Sundays. There was something so fucking dull about them.So maybe that was why I was at the beach. Contrary to popular belief, I was not the biggest fan of sun, sea, and sand. Nor was I the next champion surfer.But Sandra wanted to come, and the rules of the game state that what Sandra wanted, Sandra gets. So, here I was. Getting sand up my shorts and, if I was not careful, a crab pincer around my balls.“You didn't have to come with me. I'm capable of sunbathing by myself,” Sandra said, lying on her back on the sand.I rolled onto my side and proped myself up on my arm. “And why would I not come? I like spending time with you.” I dragged my finger across her flat stomach, and she squirmed.“Because.” She shrugged a shoulder.“Because?”“Yep. Because.”I flipped over and straddled her. She squealed and pulled her sunglasses off, flinging them to the side. She looked up at me, and I grinned wolfishly.“What?”“Why are you sitting on me?”“I felt like it.”“You felt like it.”“
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 27: SANDRA
I smiled absently to myself as I made my way out of class. I hugged my books to my chest, and my hair fell to the side, hiding one side of my face. Ever since I spent the afternoon at the beach with Jack yesterday, I had felt better than I had in a long time. I'd like to believe it was the mix of sun, sea, and sand, but I'd be lying.I was pretty sure he was the main cause of my happiness.“Hey, Sandra.” Carl fell into step beside me.“Hey. How are you?” I glanced up at him, thinking – not for the first time – it was a shame I didn't see him as anything other than a friend. Though he was not as built as Jack, his chestnut-brown, wavy hair and equally brown eyes were captivating, all the same. He was taller than me, shorter than Jack, but he had a good heart and I knew he'll make someone a great boyfriend one day.But why was I comparing him to Jack?“Good. Look, I'm sorry if you guys ended up fighting on Friday. I never realized Jack was so.... So....”“Protective?” I offered dryly, e
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 28: JACK
“No, Mom. She's not a 'weekend buddy', as you put it,” I groaned into the phone.“Well Maggie told Grace you were dating, and when Grace told me this morning over breakfast, I told her that was silly, that my boy isn't a dating kind of boy. She was adamant though, Jack, that you were dating this Sandra girl.”“That's because I am.”My mom has never been speechless before now. She had an answer for everything, and I guess that was where I got it from.“You are?” she shrieked, delighted. “Oh, Jack! Tom, Tom! Grace was right! Jack has a girlfriend!”I cringed at how high she was squealing to my father. I heard his baritone voice declaring, “That's lovely, darling, I'm so happy for him, but could you possibly turn down the strangled cat a notch or two?”I snorted into my fist.“Oh, what's she like, Jack? I must meet her. Oh, I'm so happy for you,” Mom babbled.“Honestly, Mom, I'm dating her, not marrying her.”“I know, I know, but she's your first girlfriend!”“No she isn't.”“Yes, darlin
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 29: SANDRA
If Patrick was telling me the truth, I should see him at some point today.I didn't think it will be quite the brother-sister reunion he was hoping for.Since Maggie explained the situation to the girls – and I thought she also told Jack, even if she wouldn't admit it – I was constantly surrounded. If there wasn't Maggie at my side, Kayle was, or Jack, or Leila. Even Josh walked me to class. That was creepy.My body was warring with itself. My gut told me that Patrick would be here while my head told me it was not possible. After all, if he had the money to travel across the country, he had it to pay off his debts. Right? Not in his eyes. As much as I wanted to ignore it, I knew he'll show.I fidgeted all the way through my classes. I barely listened to anything any of the professors said, and even Jack didn't joke his way through English like usual. He spent the hour running his fingers through my hair. Strangely, it relaxed me. A little. Sort of.When dinner approached and I still h
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 30: JACK
When she was lying in my arms, like she is now, she was vulnerable.Only, I didn't realize just how vulnerable she was until last night. I also didn't realize how strong she was, how much fire was in her.I looked down at her. Her hair was fanned across my pillow, and her lips were parted slightly, her breath crawling over my bare chest. She looked peaceful when she was sleeping, like there weren't a thousand demons running around in her head and her heart. Like she wasn't protecting herself from anything and everything.My hand moved from its resting place on my stomach, and I smoothed hair away from her face. She sniffed and moved closer to me, causing me to pull her even closer. My lips pressed against her forehead, and she slid an arm across my stomach, her fingers brushing the bare skin above the covers.I was not sure when I started to care for her so much. It could have been the day at the beach when she told me about her Mom, or it could have been when she went crazy at that g
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TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 83: EPILOGUE (AUSTIN)
I tugged the zipper of my jacket up higher as a cold wind blew in off San Francisco Bay, and fought the urge to turn and ran back to the marina. I won’t run. This was something that had to be done, for me.Maggie squeezed my hand, curling into my arm, and we began to walk into the small cemetery where my mom was buried.I felt sick. Emotion stronger than I had felt in a long time swirled around my whole body, from hatred to pity, fear to anger, yet through it all … Through it all was a bit of love for the woman that tried and failed to give me life.We weaved silently through the graves and markers, heading to the back of the cemetery. I held the white rose I bought tightly, clutching it to my chest, and tried to breathe deeply.I would never forgive her and I would never forget her, but I could finally be at peace with her.The small, black marble headstone sat alongside my
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 82: MAGGIE
I slid down from Storm’s back and patted his neck lovingly, hooking his reins around a tree branch in the shade. I took my helmet off, shook out my hair, and looked under the roots for the basket I asked June to place there earlier. Storm turned his attention to the water I had given him, and I lied the blanket out on the ground on the other side of the small tree. Excited, I sat down and waited for Austin to catch up.Palm Canyon trail was one of my favorite to take – it always had been. Sitting there by the stream and letting Storm rest was a weekly pastime before I left for Berkeley. We’d do the other trails on our other rides, but our Saturdays were always reserved for this.And now I remembered why.The green of the fauna was a stark contrast to the barren desert beyond, and the rocks that dotted the stream were just big enough to sit on. It was beautiful here. Peaceful in the winter when no one came here.“How do I get down?&
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 81: AUSTIN(cont..)
Maggie ran her hand down my body, her fingers tracing the defining lines of the muscle. I sighed deeply, pulling her closer to me, and breathed in the vanilla scent of her hair. No matter where she had been or what she had done, she always smelt like vanilla.“What are we doing today?” I asked, my fingertips following the curve of her spine right to her ass.She shuddered. “I thought we could go riding.”“I get the feeling we’re not talking about bedroom riding.”She looked up at me, her hair messy, and smiled. “No. Horse riding. I don’t go at college and I miss it.”“I’ve never ridden a horse.”“I’ll teach you.”“Um.”“You taught me to fish,” she reminded me. “You made me fish!”“I guess there’s no way around this, huh?”She shook her head, rolling on top of me. Her knees went either side of my hips, trapping me, and her hair fell around my face. She slowly lowered her face to mine, sucking my bottom lip into her mouth and grazing her teeth across it. I slid my hands along her thighs
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 80: AUSTIN
“This is going to be a disaster,” Maggie muttered, pulling onto a street with houses worth more than I could ever dream of making. Most were three-story buildings, all with driveways, garages and perfectly pruned front yards.I fidgeted in my seat. A small voice in the back of my mind whispered about the differences in our lives. It reminded me how different it was here compared to where I started life in San Francisco. I glanced at Maggie and told the voice to fuck off.My past doesn’t define who I am. The here and now does.Gramps whistled low. “What, you got a pool and all?”“Hope you brought your swimming trunks,” she commented in a chipper voice.“Good job I did, then.” Gramps patted his stomach. “Love a good swim.”She turned the car onto a driveway leading to one of the three-story houses. The drive was lined by circular bushes and winter flowers. I looked up at the hou
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 79: MAGGIE(cont..)
Everything was easier when the secret was out. Now I didn’t have to worry about looking at Austin wrong or saying something that might look suspicious. I didn’t have to watch my every movement, bite my tongue or clench my fists so I didn’t touch him.And I loved it.I loved that we could just be.I didn’t care about the whispers from people outside our circle of friends, the ones who didn’t know the truth, and I didn’t care about the looks that came from other girls. I just cared that I could fall into his arms when I found him standing outside my classroom, just like he was now.“Shakespeare hasn’t killed you yet, then,” he said as he smiled at me, taking my hand.I looked over at him. “No, not yet, but there’s every possibility of it in the future.”“Not a damn chance.”“How
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 78: MAGGIE
“Are you telling me I could be standing here all day and not catch a thing?”Gramps cacklesd across the boat. “That’s exactly what he’s telling you!”I turned my face toward Austin, and he grinned. “What?”“I can’t believe I got roped into this.” This was ridiculous. I ate fish. I didn’t catch it. Hell.“Hey.” His hands fell to my hips and he nudged my collar from my neck with his nose. His lips brushed the skin of my neck. “This was your idea, remember?”“Yes …” My idea for them.Austin’s nose ran up and down my neck, his breath hot against me, and I swallowed.“So you didn’t get roped into anything. You had to know that you’d end up fishing,” he reasoned.“Mhmm.”“So why are you so surprised?”I shivered when he took a deep breath and exhaled against my skin. His hands slid down my sides to the front pockets of my jeans. He placed his fingers in them, spreading them out and stroking my legs, before taking them back out.“I’m not,” I whispered.“Then don’t complain.” He was smiling a
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 77: AUSTIN (cont..)
“What are we doing?” I asked as Maggie tugged me towards my car.“It’s Sunday,” she said simply. “We’re going to see your Gramps.”“Okay, but that doesn’t explain why you have a damn picnic basket with you.”“Fine – we’re going to see your Gramps and take him out for the day. Better?” She raised an eyebrow at me, and I grinned, starting the engine up.“Much. But where are we going?”“You’ll see.”She settled back in her seat, smiling to herself. If I’d hoped to get any clues from her outfit, I’d definitely not got any luck. Her jeans, jacket, and boots were nothing out of the ordinary – but her tied up hair was.Not that it meant anything in particular … Apart from making me want to nuzzle her bare neck.We pulled up outside Gramps’ house and got out. When I opened the door, I wa
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 76: AUSTIN
The rough bark of the tree dug into my back. Apart from with Maggie, outside was the only place that gave me peace. Even as I waited for the inevitable conversation with Jack – the one where I’ll have to admit why I need her so much. He deserved that much after what we had done to him, and I was ready for it. Because of Maggie I was finally ready to start opening up about my life.“Still a spacey bastard.” He smirked.“No fist in my eye?” I smirked back at him.He shrugged a shoulder. “I considered it. Several fucking times. Then figured it just ain’t worth it since I’d probably get more punches from those damn girls than it’s worth.”He was probably right.“But that doesn’t mean I won’t kick the shit out of you if you break her fucking heart.”“I wasn’t joking when I said I loved her yesterday,” I said bluntly, staring him down with t
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 75: MAGGIE ( cont..)
My heart was in complete contradiction of itself. Lying there in Austin’s arms, half of it was lighter than it had been in the last few weeks. The lightness came from the truth being told. But the other half was heavy, like a lead weight was holding it down and pinning it to the ground.I shifted, and Austin’s grip on me tightened. I ran my fingers through his hair, smoothing it back from his face, and studied him. Now he looked like he was at peace. The lines on his forehead I had seen so many times were now completely smooth, his mouth was slightly open, and his breathing was even and steady.But his peace had come at the torment of my best friend – who was somewhere in this house, probably awake. He’d be hating himself for being mad at me, happy I found the love he had, and guilty I felt like I couldn’t tell him.In fact he wouldn’t be at the house. I knew exactly where he’ll be.I climbed out of bed, and there
