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Chapter 4
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2023-03-07 02:58:34MARIA’S POV
“Maria Goretti was born on October 16, 1890 Corinaldo, Province of Ancona, Marche, Kingdom of Italy.” I paused and mulled overcon what I was saying.It was time for Spiritual reading and I was the one to take that day. The last day to me taking my perpetual vows. Ironically, Maria Goretti was my name sake and there was more to it obviously. She also died by forceful rape and she was stabbed fourteen times to death.Everyone’s eyes were on me. My whole body was stiff. It was a month now after the grotesque incident. Though I told no one about it. It was too nefarious and stigmatic, so I was better off without telling them.“Maria!”Mother superior's voice sparked my consciousness back to life. I gasped and looked around as everyone peered up at me, waiting for me to continue. My hands were wet.“I’m sorry” I smiled. Yes it was fake, very fake, but it was a smile.Abbess’ gaze directed at me and I knew she felt something was off. I managed to clasp myself together and finished up with my spiritual reading. Talking about Maria Goretti made me remember vividly my own incident. My whole body grossed me out as I remembered how the anonymous rapist’s hands caressed all over my body. The loathful feeling!I sauntered down the aisle as soon as I finished up with spiritual reading and headed straight to my room. As soon as I entered my room, I slammed my door very firmly and grasped the down part of my tunic firmly. My whole body was fluttering and my teeth rattled on each other. Tears wadded out of my eyes as flashbacks of the dreadful moment didn’t cease coming back to my memory repeatedly.How do I even forget this!?How do I get over it!?Am I even sure I will be able to forgive the man that raped me like Maria Goretti did?Various thoughts and guilt clinged to my heart. I slowly slid to the floor with my back colliding on the door. I took off my coaf and laid it on the floor. My eyes were weak and sore. Ever since that day, I didn’t remain the same. I always felt impure to enter the chapel. As much as I prayed the rosary repeatedly, I still felt impure. I wasn’t so sure anymore I would be able to take my perpetual vows.***“Good evening sisters. I sincerely can not tell you how happy I am that tomorrow, you will become complete Nuns. Tomorrow, you all are going to take your perpetual vows.” Mother Superior said.She stood in the center, close to the altar. We sat on the pews with smiles on our faces, except my face. I tried to apt in, but I just couldn’t.“… I trust that by the power of God and the blessed virgin Mary that you all have remained pure for this course and I really admire you all. It reminds me of my time” Her words grasped my attention. I was lost in between the speech but got hooked up again with this.My heart pummeled so fast and hard. I felt so uncomfortable seated there. I started feeling very dizzy. Becoming a nun had been my dream since I was a child. But how could I live that dream with this guilt!?I wanted to be a nun, a virgin!I kept myself pristine and holy for twenty years.Why did God permit it to happen to me!?I felt guilt and disdain. Anger and chagrin. As much as I tried my best to come to the fact that I wasn't the cause of my predicament and the disgusting incident, I still couldn’t rest my conscience.My head began to bang and my eyes blur. Everything around me was spinning and breezy like a tornado. I suddenly tottered and collapsed…“Maria!” This shook my subconscious. I ogled around with my eyes flipping close and open. My whole body was weak like a vegetable.“Mamma Mia! What happened!?” Calista rushed and grabbed my right hand while I laid on the floor close to the convent entrance.I coughed but no word came out. Pain filled my whole body, sores and bruises. My legs dried and froze up. My heart pounded heavily but slowly.She managed to pick me up from the ground with my hand wrapped around her neck and hers around my waist and the other held my hand that wrapped around her shoulder. My thighs and beneath hurt so much. Moving my legs became an extreme pain each time I threw a stride.She carried me into the convent’s large black metal gate. I passed through with my legs curved weakly and brushing on the concrete floor as she continued dragging me gently. Everything in front of me was blurry and obscure. I think I felt a fever as well because sweat filled my forehead.“Oh Madre Maria!” Exclamations flew in from sisters as they surged to me in Calista’s arms. I couldn’t really picture out who was who. All I could see was blurry black tunics and faces that looked like round doughs.She took me straight up to my room with the aid of other sisters who helped out. I figured out one was Julia, the sister next to my room. As soon as I laid on the bed, my butt caught fire. The excessive and angry spanks from my assaulter had its effect then.“What happened!?”Mother superior's voice pierced through from amidst the little crowd.My eyes are wide open. I saw Mother Superior and Sister Calista in front of me in my room. They both had a pale face. It was then I realized it was just me dreaming and reminiscing on my bizarre past after the assault.I groaned softly as I adjusted on the bed.“What happened?” I gasped. Still struggling to have a comfortable posture on the bed. Their looks were too dry and empty.“Why? How did it happen?”Mother superior’s voice broke the ice after moments of silence. I contorted and narrowed my face in befuddlement.“What? What is it, Abbess!?” I quizzed.I got no response but disgusting looks of dismay and letdown from them both.“You are pregnant, Sister Maria.” The former spat.My whole world crumbled as I left my mouth gaped and eyes broadened with tears rolling out.I lost my dream!Related chapters
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MARIA“How dare you even leave the house in the first place!?” Papà yelped with his hand firmly clasped on my chin. He pressed so solidly that my face hurt so bad. My legs were weak, and ricketing while my eyes drained in panic and horror as I stared at my Papà brutalizing me. He was extremely contumelious.“I…” just before I could complete this statement, he moved from my chin swiftly to my throat. It was tenser. I lost balance and could not breathe, face red, legs jiggling. My eyes spread out in fear and pain. Amidst the opacity in the room, I could still see the rage in his eyes. I was driven back to how he did the same thing to me when I was a child. He practically wrung my neck to death when I was ten years old when I tried to leave the house without his permission. “Do you even know the disgrace and humiliation you brought to my name and the Lazio Familia? Do you know!?” He roared and intensified in his choke. His eyes were fierce with irritation. I had my hand holding his wr
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“I presume you are not delighted with this union”Dante spat just what I truly felt. My lips parted and my throat choked with air. I was surprised at the preciseness. He remained cold as before. I was lost and in a dilemma of what to respond with. I peered up at him.“Yes, I’m not” I allowed the truth from my mouth. His lips pulled taut. I wondered how he deciphered what I truly felt but then, I shouldn’t expect less from a Made man, he literally studies and tortures people for a living. There was a large part of me that was hopeful that he'd break the alliance after knowing that I am not happy with it. “Unfortunately you are bound to me” my hopes scrambled to the floor and shattered. My face fell from the little glory that it crept to. I should have known better that a Mafia wouldn’t care about a mere woman's emotions. They were rigid and felt nothing.He took a walk and sat on one of the black Adirondack chairs. He balanced perfectly on the chair and laid his strong arms on the sid
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Few hours later after the whole faking of smile and hands shaking, we finally retired to our room. Before then, one of the women from the Vincenzo familiar told me. Try not to cry too much or resistI couldn’t really remember who she was, but I knew she was also introduced to me as family. I got into the room first and my heart was pummeling to the extreme. I stood at the entrance of the all black room in silence. The Interior of Dante’s room was all black. It was scary and riveting in some way. Dante was still outside having a conversation with the made men of the Familia. I didn’t even bother to know what it was they were discussing.I craved to have a conversation with someone but there was no one. No one to share my grief with. My stomach was bitter and churning. The heels I wore began to ache so bad. I moved to the large bed and slowly sunk into it with slight fear. I pulled out my heels and placed them beside the bed. I stared around but found no pictures in the room. The wall
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I found myself back in the room with Dante after a relaxing bath. As I stepped into the room, I noticed a vibrant red lingerie that had been thoughtfully placed in the bathroom for me. The lingerie, with its low-cut design, left my cleavage tantalizingly exposed. Despite my attempts to adjust it, I couldn’t quite achieve the desired level of coverage.A sense of urgency washed over me, and I hurriedly gazed at my reflection in the mirror. To my dismay, the lingerie proved to be far too transparent, leaving my most intimate areas exposed. No man had ever seen me dressed in such a revealing outfit, and I had never planned for anyone to.Whispering a prayer under my breath, I made the sign of the cross. A tingling sensation coursed through me as I slowly approached the bathroom’s exit, my heart beating heavily in my chest. With trembling hands, I grasped the door handle, and as I gingerly turned it, my heart pounded even louder. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead, and my palms grew dam
Last Updated : 2023-11-08
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