CHAPTER FIVE

MEETING

ROWAN'S POV

The sun glaring through the windows when I wake up, Bella curled up next to me with her hand on my chest. She reminds me so much of Ivy sometimes. It's been seven years since Ivy left, seven years since I got Bella back, but I still feel this emptiness inside. Like Ivy's still here, haunting me.

I know I messed up, treating her the way I did. But part of me just can't let it go, can't believe she didn't love me for my money.

"You love her," a little voice in my head whispers. "Shut up," I growl back. "I could never love her." But even as I say it, I know it's a lie. Ivy got under my skin in a way no one else ever has.

After I divorced her, I thought she'd come crawling back in a year, tops, begging me to take her back. But she didn't. Last I heard, she was in Europe, chasing that fashion designer dream of hers. I hate it, hate the thought of her out there, building a life without me. Even if she's not mine anymore, I don't want anyone else to have her. She's supposed to be mine, only mine.

When I heard about her dad, it hit me hard. He and I, we had this secret business deal going on, even before my accident. It's why the whole marriage thing threw me so bad. I knew the danger Ivy would be in if the people we screwed over came looking for payback. They wouldn't hesitate to use her to get to me.

I sent my guy Jack to look into her dad's death. He found out the old man was shot, but they made it look like a random attack. I told him to keep digging, to let me know if he found anything else.

But I couldn't stop thinking about Ivy. The way she touched me, kissed me... Bella's got nothing on her. Even when I'm with Bella, it's Ivy I'm picturing. Now that Bella's back, I can hardly stand to kiss her. It's like Ivy took a piece of me with her when she left.

"Good morning, sunshine," Bella purrs, snapping me out of my thoughts. I'd almost forgotten she was here.

"Morning," I mutter, rolling out of bed.

Bella's trying her best to get me going, chattering away, but I'm miles away. I smile and nod, but I'm not really hearing her.

"I was hoping you could take me and the girls shopping today," she says, slipping into her clothes. We had this wild, angry sex last night, and I hate myself for what I did. What kind of man screams his ex's name when he's in bed with his girlfriend? Bella was pissed, and I don't blame her. I gave her my black card, promised to take her shopping, just to smooth things over.

"I've got somewhere to be," I tell her, yanking on my shirt.

"But Rowan, you promised!" she whines, giving me those puppy dog eyes I can't stand.

"Like I said, I've got a meeting. You've got my card, buy whatever you want." I don't give her a chance to argue, just head downstairs and out the door for my morning run.

Fifteen minutes later, I'm still pounding the pavement, but I can't outrun my thoughts. Ivy's face just keeps flashing through my mind. By the time I get back, Bella's long gone, my card with her. I'm just finishing my coffee when my alarm goes off. I'm supposed to head over to the Sharps' place, pay my respects to Ivy's mom.

It doesn't take me long to get ready. I throw on my Tom Ford suit, the one I wore the day I picked Ivy up all those years ago. Black shoes, black tie, black mood. Feels fitting.

I take the Rolls, pulling up to their house ten minutes later. I'm climbing out of the car, heading for the front door, when it swings open and I freeze. It's Ivy, standing there looking more beautiful than I remembered, more put together. And there's a kid peeking out from behind her, a boy who can't be more than five or six.

"Ivy," I choke out, my eyes glued to the boy.

"Rowan? What are you doing here?" she asks, and I can tell she's not happy to see me.

I clear my throat, trying to get my bearings. "I came to give your mom my condolences. Wait, is that... is that your son?"

Her eyes flash with something I can't read. "Don't you dare ask me about him. It's none of your damn business."

I hold up my hands, stunned by the venom in her voice. This isn't the Ivy I remember. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I'm just surprised, that's all." But I can't take my eyes off the boy. He looks so much like I did at that age.

I thought no one would want to settle down with her after me. Thought she wasn't good enough for anyone else. But I was wrong. So wrong.

She's trying to leave, but I can't let her go. Not yet. "Ivy, wait. We need to talk about this."

But she just shakes her head, her face hard. "There's nothing to talk about, Rowan. I'm here to bury my father, not dig up the past." And then she's walking away, the boy's hand in hers, and all I can do is watch her go.

I feel like I've been punched in the gut. She's moved on, started a family with someone else. And it's all my fault. I screwed up, let my pride and my ego get in the way, and now I've lost her for good.

But as I stand there, watching her disappear down the street, I know one thing for sure. I'm not ready to let her go. Not again. Not without a fight.

I don't know how, but I'm going to find a way to make this right. To prove to her that I've changed, that I'm not the same selfish bastard I was back then. Even if it takes me the rest of my life, I'm going to earn her forgiveness. Her trust.