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TOO EARLY TO BE GOING INSANE

Penulis: Kairal.K
last update Terakhir Diperbarui: 2025-02-11 17:33:56

ZADE

My hand is shaking as I look at him with her.

“Baby, you are bleeding!” Olivia rushes to my side and grabs my hand. “what happened?”

I shrug her hold off my hand gently, looking away. “it's nothing. Just a small scratch it; will heal in a minute.”

She grabs it again persistently. " You have shards of glass in the flesh; let me clean you up.”

Logan looks at me and I shake my head. Everything is fine, I am fine I won't jump off and go punch my father right in his face even if it's all I ache for now.

Logan seems to feel content that I won't storm off and sits back in his chair, back to being broody. That’s why he is my closest friend. There is Rowan and Cass as well but I am closest with him. he understands me, sees the darkness chiurning inside me, and doesn’t seem frightened by it. He encourages me to look at it once in a while too.

He once told me it's good to be familiar with all of you because the longer you ignore those parts, the stronger and more pressing they get. When it
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  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   IT'S STARTING TO HURT

    ARII shouldn’t have come.“my baby!” a kiss on my cheek. “you look so beautiful.”“thank you mom, you look amazing too as always,” I look ar her side at the man who is smiling, hand on the small of her waist. “Mr. Parkers, thank you for inviting me.”He chuckles and steps in front of me. “when will you stop addressing me so formally?” probably never? He leans in for a hug. Its stiff, all my joints and limbs locked and I count the seconds until its all over.“the place looks wonderful.” It does. The who place is decorated so beautifully, I feel like I have walked rihght in a movie set.“my father loves everything to be a high luxury, everyone must have a good experience at his parties.”As I look around, I feel a smoldering gaze on my left and when i lock eyes with the silver ones, I feel my heart lurch to my throat.I knew he would be here, its his grandfafther’s party after all. I also expected the girl in his arm too, she is his girlfriend after all.I hate how my stomach drops whe

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-11
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   DO NOT TOUCH MY PROPERTY

    ZADE“zade!”“I am fine, don’t worry about me,” I turn toward the girl following me. “I just need to get fresh air then I will be okay.”Her heels click on the tiled floor as she approaches me, her dress swishing around her ankles. She looks like a fairy, a beautiful princess dressed like this. It’s the opposite of the other one trying to cozy up to my dad in front of me.“I didn't know she would be so shameless as to do that right in front of everyone,” Livie shakes her head. “why do they have to be here? They don’t belong to this world.”She knew I would be watching, that’s why she had t put on a fucking act and do what could hurt me. They look like a family, a perfect family of three.“your grandfather must have sway to your father,” Livie touches my arm. “you need to make sure you get back to the front, where you belong. Don’t let her steal the spotlight. It's yours.”“I am already the heir, what can she do?”“with how close I have seen she is with your father, do you think she ca

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-12
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   UGLY EMOTIONS

    ARIWhat am I doing?I exhale as the door closes behind me with a click.The cool air of the open rooftop hits my clammy skin, and I feel like I am breathing properly for the first time that night.I walk to the glass railing and lean on it, looking at the glimmering skyline of the city. It’s a beautiful night, so different from all the ugly emotions churning inside me.Where did it start? Where will it end? My heart on the floor, stomped and bloodied? My honor and sanity to shits? All because my heart, my whole body, and my life seem to be starting because someone is activating all of these things within me?Why does it have to be the wrong person? Why does it have to be the one person who doesn’t love me, will never love me, let alone accept me?I am pathetic.I knew this would happen if I let it happen. I fell into the trap that’s called zade. I am going to get burned, scorched, and burnt to ashes.He was kissing her as he looked at me. I led him on, trapping him in my trap, tempti

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-12
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   I WANT YOUR LOVE

    ARI“It’s a little desperate, isn't it?”“wh-what?”He starts walking towards me slowly, hands in his pocket. The shadows are obscuring most of his face, and he doesn’t make it near me, standing a few feet away.“Isn't it desperate?”Did he see me?“what are you trying to achieve here, silvers? Mmh?”“I-I don’t know what you mean.”He sighs, face titling to the sky. “why are you doing this?”My face is flush red. I know I am supposed to be sacred he might have watched me as I touched myself. I should be embarrassed that I was thinking about him that way, but all I can feel is a thrill. He is here; he is in front of me.Did he come for me?“Is this what you wanted?”“I know better than to want anything from you.” I hate how I sound. Weak. Desperate. Breathy.“you let him touch

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-13
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   CAUGHT IN A BAD ROMANCE

    ARI“why would you? You can't make me do anything I don’t want to do, and you have no reason to tell me that, no valid reason at all.”“I don’t like your face. That’s enough for me to command you, will you to step over and let yourself fly. Will you do it?”“Enough with the jokes,” I push his chest again, and he sighs.“you are no fun.”“We have different definitions of fun.”“believe it or not, killing you would be the least fun thing for me. I need you to be around.”“I am touched.”“you should. It bought you more time on earth.”“I hate you.”“I feel the same way.”His lips are redder and plumper up close. Are we getting closer?“Why do you I have to see your face when I least want it?” he looks down, robbing me of the sight I was

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-13
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION NOW?

    ZADE“did you get what you wanted?”“it could have been more, but you stopped. Why?”I sigh, looking at Livie. “I was not in the mood. You got the video, so now you can do what you want.” I start going to the door before she starts talking behind me.“you wouldn’t lie to me, right?”I turn and face her. “what?”“you wouldn’t lie to me about this or to protect her, right? I know I got here late, and you two seemed close. You aren't catching feelings, right?”“if I wanted to protect her, accepting to be your prop and make her look like a slut would not be something I would agree to do.”She smiles, walking up to me. “I just had to be sure. I want to know that I am the only girl in your heart and mind.”“you are.”The party has already started, and Ari seems to have been trapped by my father and her mother because she is sandwiched between them as they take photos. It shouldn't hurt me, but it does.This used to be something mother enjoyed. She planned Grandpa’s birthday parties every si

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-14
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   IF I MATCH YOU, CAN YOU KEEP UP?

    ARII watch as Zade is dragged out until the doors close.Mr. Parker exhales, the cool mask he had on slipping a little as he looks at Mom and leans down to whisper something I can't make out.He wanted to hurt her; Zade wanted to hurt Mom to teach his father a lesson.He is drunk, hurt, and lonely, a sight I never thought I could ever see from him. To see him acting like this, the cold, nonchalant prince, something must have set him off.“you, come with me.”I am so lost in my head I don’t see the girl snapping her fingers at me like I am a dog.“do you want me to drag you out too?” she leans in to whisper, and I feel like my head will explode.Too much of everything in one night has left me feeling drained. Olivia starts walking, and I follow her. There are things I want to make sure she didn’t see, and I also want to know why she was recording me. I am still shaking from earlier, the stress eating at me at the back of my mind.“what is it?” I sigh once the door to the balcony shuts

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-14
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   IV WITH A HEART TO HEART

    ZADEThe white patterned ceiling is my view.I wonder how long I can stay like this, stay in silence before the man seated on the couch in my hospital private wing starts speaking. I can feel his disappointment in me. I figured that he would have avoided me, banished me even, or locked me up before accepting to see me, but here we are.I wonder if he is waiting for me to break the since then, he will bring the hammer down, crushing me.I sigh, taking responsibility. It's going to happen anyway, so let me get it over with.“grandpa … I …” I what? I am sorry. I don’t feel apologetic towards that man called my father. I would do it again. “I am sorry I ruined your party.” That I am apologetic and ashamed of.“it would take more than a few drunk outbursts to ruin my party,” Grandpa sighs, snapping the papers he was reading shut.I sit up on the bed and look at him. The room is big; there is a bed area and a visitor's area, where there is a couch, coffee table, and a large window beside th

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-15

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  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   THE EPITOME OF MY EXISTENCE IS IGNORING ME

    ZADEEverything should have gotten better.No, everything should have changed once I decided not to let my dislike for silvers get in the way of me making amends to her. But she has been avoiding me and acting like I don’t exist at all.I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind before but now? now she is all I see. Now she is the epitome of my existence.She is posing a challenge and that is to ignore me and treat me like I am inviscible. Like we are not bonded and I cant sometimes fele her when she hasn’t blocked me out.Like I cant feel her so close to me like we are sharing the same skin, breathing the same air. We are intertwined, I am wearing her mark on my skin, and she is wearing mine, a sign that we are meant to be together, wheter we like it or not.I haven't liked it for a long time and I hated her some more for it. But even then, when I was swimming in my denial, I knew that my life would never be the same once she busted in.She is not someone you simply forget or even

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   HE CAN LOOK ALL HE WANTS

    ARII learnt how to drive when I was thirteen.My mother was so sick in the middle of the night, and it was the month we had to stay in a cabin away from towns and civilisations because she feared that the ones we had been running away from had caught up to us.I still don’t have a driver’s license, but I am a decent driver.The car, too, is so good and so sexy that I can't help the laugh that bubbles out of my throat. When I told Mr. Parker that I needed a car to get out of school like other students, he told me he already had one for me.It was a gift that he didn't think I would like but bought anyway. He is … thoughtful and trying to fill in my father's role.I appreciate that.I run my hands on the steering wheel, smiling so widely my cheeks are aching.A black mustang; sporty, sexy, just how I love it. The interior is all dark red and leather too, that new smell making my norse itch and I giggle as I start it, gearing as I speed out of the gate.Weeks ago I couldn’t get out of t

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   IT'S ALL IN THE SELF ACCEPTANCE

    ARII am a girl that is broken.I have tried not to let it consume me, and when it was too much for me, I have tried containing it so that it won't consume those around me.Life for me has not been easy. It has been an endless darkness that threatens to twist me and fold me, shatter every new vine, every bone I form, and render me helpless, weak all my life.You can say I have tried not to let it show that I am drowning and just how broken and damaged I am. My mother can't tell you that I have been dead; she thinks I am fine.How can she know when my one purpose in life was to ensure that she never once realized the truth about me?But I am tired of keeping the darkness away. I am tired of carrying it like it weighs nothing, when it's only I who knows the truth about it—about the weight. I have been dead for a long time, just floating in the world.I have had to be with nothing, be nothing that it has infused in my blood, in my psyche. If you are nothing, if you don’t know anything, t

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   I TRIED MY BEST AND NOW I AM DONE

    ARI“Are you sure you're okay?”“I am,” I take Max’s hand. “I promise if I feel any discomfort pain, I will tell you immediately.”She laughs. “You better.”“Okay, Mom,” I roll my eyes as I get off the bed. I have been cooped up here for some reason, but I have had enough.“I am just taking care of you, I feel partly responsible for this.” She isn't looking at me, head bowed in guilt.“You have no reason to. You aren't the one who pushed me off the roof,” I shrug. “I was a little reckless too, going up there in the middle of the night to meet with the same girl who beat me to death a few days earlier.”“Why did you?”I sigh, leaning on the small closet in the room where my clothes have been put. “I wanted to get it over with? I knew we had to talk at some point, so getting that out of the way … and I was curious what she wanted to say.”She frowns, obviously disagreeing with my choices. I can't blame her, I mean, look where it got me. "What did she want?”“She wanted me to stay away f

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   THIS IS HOW I KNOW, BABY DON'T BE MAD

    ZADEI get to my room, feeling like I am about to lose it, only to find …“I have been waiting for you.”Olivia. Naked in my bed, waiting for me.“I knew we had to talk alone,” she kneels on the bed.My strides are quick as I reach over to the bed and clamp my fingers around her neck, making her gasp and look up at me with wide eyes, confusion, and then terror reflecting in her eyes.“I told you I don’t allow anyone in my bed.” I don’t feel a thing, not even as she starts to scratch my hand, trying to get me to let her go.“I thought I made myself clear when I told you that me amd you are done. Why don’t you get through that your little skull?”I squeeze tighter, all the mindache that has been assaulting me since I got away from that hospital room, finally zeroing in on the girl in front of me. Maybe she should die.Would Silvers forgive me if I killed her? Would she see this as a good form of apology? Will it be enough?Olivia starts to lose consciousness, the fight leaving her body.

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   YOU KNOW I AM A COLD AND HEARTLESS; WHY ARE YOU SUPRISED ABOUT THIS?

    ZADE“I did it for you.”Experated sigh, then an eye roll. “I didn’t think you were attached to her like this. Don’t you hate her?”The longer Olivia keeps talking, the angrier I get.“Get out.”She looks at me, surprised. “What?”“Get out.”“You can't be serious,” she huffs, flicking her hair over her shoulder. You can't talk to me like that and tell me to leave just because of her.”I have a feeling if she doesn’t move, I might remove her myself. “I am. Now get out while I am being nice.”She tripped. I am not to blame that she is clumsy! What was I supposed to do when she fell? Jump after her? I called you, that’s enough to show I care.”“you didn’t call me, I found out on my own.” my hands are shaking. I a barely holding myself back from making sure she gets what she has done to ari only worse.“Whatever, all I am saying is, I did it for you. I called you and found you not because of her but for you.”“Olivia.”“You only call me that when you are serious.”“I want you to listen ca

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   DECISIONS ... MIRRORS ... HARD TRUTHS

    ARII shouldn’t have agreed to come here.I don’t trust her, but I couldn’t ignore the call either. I wonder what she wants to say now that she has called me.The location too is very strange. I mean, who call someone up a frooftop in the middle of the night all in the name of talking?Olivia, that’s who.“I thought you wouldn’t come.” Her voice echoes before I see her. She shows herself from the stone she was leaning against, blending in with the shadows.“I was curious as to what you wanted to say to me.” I try not to show that I am intimidated by her. She did try to kill me, so of course I am wary. I would be a fool if I weren’t.“I suppose you would be,” she chuckles, tilting her head to the side. Her long hair slides off her shoulder, making the angle even more alluring. I still cant see her face, as her back is facing where the moon is illimunating from the sky.Soo, talk,” I shrug, hoping she will start already and I can go back to sleep. Not that I was, but she doesn’t need to

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS    I WILL MAKE YOU LOVE ME AGAIN

    ZADEI don’t move an inch from where I am, exhaling slowly as Olivia sits next to me, shoulder to shoulder. I didn’t hear her coming up.I must have been distracted. Again.“can't sleep?”“When have I ever been able to?”She chuckles, before laying her head on my shoulder. “sorry, I forgot you are an insomniac like me.”When I don’t say anything, she sighs. “Just one of the things we are alike, don’t you agree?”“I guess.” I have been trying to spend less time with her. She must have noticed that he sought me out like this.“You haven’t come to see me for a while. I am starting to think you are ignoring me again.”“I have been busy.”“If its school work, I know you are way ahead and you have already aced the exams even before they are announced.”“I have other duties other than academics.”“I know, I have your full schedule, remember?”Right, I forgot.“Why have you been ignoring me?”“I thought it would be easier if we slowly got out of each other's lives.” Not even my grandpa is sup

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT

    ZADEShe has changed.It's in the way she is talking and interacting with others, or lack thereof.It's in the way I can't seem to be getting under her skin anymore. Even the way she is looking at me nowadays, like she can see me but not really. As if she is looking right through me. Together and in front of me but not truly with me.It's annoying me.We are back to the academy, thank hells for that because I couldn’t take more of that camp any more. I dont want to be around her, so close yet so far away and I don’t know how to even fix it.She was starting to look at me differently, too. It started as wariness, then to fear and then to something akin to … familiarity. Comfortable.But now it’s something I hadn’t seen from her before. She is looking at me like I don’t matter at al. she can see me and in her mind, I simply don’t matter, don’t hold anything of importance for her to regard me as anything but someone who she has to deal with in the specific moment I am with her.I don’t l

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