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SO CLOSE YET SO FAR AWAY
Last Updated:
2025-02-07 20:41:06
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THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
ARII wake up in a gasp, my whole body feeling so sore and achy.Startled, I touch between my legs, and a blush creeps up my neck to my ears. My sleeping shorts are soaked.“uuurgh,” I groan, burying my face in my palms. What was that dream? Is that why I feel like I ran a marathon?I have never had such a dream before, let alone think of something like that. I mean I have always been curious but I thought I was asexual since none of the boys or girls I have met ever aroused such emotions from me.But that dream … why did it feel like it happened in real-time? And worst of all, it had to be with that stupid boy?!“This is so fucked up,” I groan as I push the covers off me and run to the bathroom. It is embarrassing enough that I am still tingling down there, worse than the moment he comes into my mind I want to feel as I felt in my dreams.Ahh, this is driving me insane!I set the water to ice cold as I strip and toss the wet shots and the tank top into the dryer before stepping into
Last Updated : 2025-02-07THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS GET ME LOOKING SEXY AND CONFIDENT EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO RETCH
ARII don’t want to leave the confines of my room.“This is THE gala. How can you think of not attending?” mimi I holding the gowns that Mother sent over for this birthday party I am supposed to attend tonight.“it's too last minute, I am not ready to mingle with the legacies.” She might have told me days ago but I have been avoiding everyone and the world.“believe it or not, you are a legacy too, missing this would be fatal. Like declaring a war or something.”I gape at Mimi. “are you serious?”“no,” she pushes her glasses up. “but missing the birthday party of your grandfather,” she raises her finger up when I narrow my eyes. “step-grandfather, that would mean that you are cutting yourself off the social group.”“I don’t see how that is a bad thing. The more you talk, the more enticing it gets that I miss it and just stay in bed watching Netflix.”“it's bad because this man is powerful and might bring problems to your father-in-law which leads to your mother. You said that you alwa
Last Updated : 2025-02-08THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS TOO BORED TO CARE, TOO JADED TO PRETEND
ZADEI hate parties.A place where people come and mingle, pretend and laugh, drink, make a mess of themselves and then go home. Its too loud, its too much faking for me to handle yet here I am, smiling so effortlessly and even laughing you would never think I am not having the best time of my life.“I am so glad you two are sticking together. Everyone heard that the goddess didn’t fate you and it was just so sad,” the tall man with large eyes that looks like beads, glazed from having too many glasses of wine cocks his head in sympathy.“We are in love, of course, we will fight for our love. Nothing is ever a done deal, especially not to us, who are already arranged to marry.”Kill me now.Olivia touches my arm as she leans forward, her smile gleaming so perfectly and the man sighs in contentment. “yes, you are the epitome of a good daughter. I wish my daughter was like you.”“Kaitlyn is just as perfect mr.Nikolai,” Olivia chuckles and the man man shakes his head.“I was hoping she wo
Last Updated : 2025-02-08THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS TOO EARLY TO BE GOING INSANE
ZADEMy hand is shaking as I look at him with her.“Baby, you are bleeding!” Olivia rushes to my side and grabs my hand. “what happened?”I shrug her hold off my hand gently, looking away. “it's nothing. Just a small scratch it; will heal in a minute.”She grabs it again persistently. " You have shards of glass in the flesh; let me clean you up.”Logan looks at me and I shake my head. Everything is fine, I am fine I won't jump off and go punch my father right in his face even if it's all I ache for now.Logan seems to feel content that I won't storm off and sits back in his chair, back to being broody. That’s why he is my closest friend. There is Rowan and Cass as well but I am closest with him. he understands me, sees the darkness chiurning inside me, and doesn’t seem frightened by it. He encourages me to look at it once in a while too.He once told me it's good to be familiar with all of you because the longer you ignore those parts, the stronger and more pressing they get. When it
Last Updated : 2025-02-11THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS IT'S STARTING TO HURT
ARII shouldn’t have come.“my baby!” a kiss on my cheek. “you look so beautiful.”“thank you mom, you look amazing too as always,” I look ar her side at the man who is smiling, hand on the small of her waist. “Mr. Parkers, thank you for inviting me.”He chuckles and steps in front of me. “when will you stop addressing me so formally?” probably never? He leans in for a hug. Its stiff, all my joints and limbs locked and I count the seconds until its all over.“the place looks wonderful.” It does. The who place is decorated so beautifully, I feel like I have walked rihght in a movie set.“my father loves everything to be a high luxury, everyone must have a good experience at his parties.”As I look around, I feel a smoldering gaze on my left and when i lock eyes with the silver ones, I feel my heart lurch to my throat.I knew he would be here, its his grandfafther’s party after all. I also expected the girl in his arm too, she is his girlfriend after all.I hate how my stomach drops whe
Last Updated : 2025-02-11THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS DO NOT TOUCH MY PROPERTY
ZADE“zade!”“I am fine, don’t worry about me,” I turn toward the girl following me. “I just need to get fresh air then I will be okay.”Her heels click on the tiled floor as she approaches me, her dress swishing around her ankles. She looks like a fairy, a beautiful princess dressed like this. It’s the opposite of the other one trying to cozy up to my dad in front of me.“I didn't know she would be so shameless as to do that right in front of everyone,” Livie shakes her head. “why do they have to be here? They don’t belong to this world.”She knew I would be watching, that’s why she had t put on a fucking act and do what could hurt me. They look like a family, a perfect family of three.“your grandfather must have sway to your father,” Livie touches my arm. “you need to make sure you get back to the front, where you belong. Don’t let her steal the spotlight. It's yours.”“I am already the heir, what can she do?”“with how close I have seen she is with your father, do you think she ca
Last Updated : 2025-02-12THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS UGLY EMOTIONS
ARIWhat am I doing?I exhale as the door closes behind me with a click.The cool air of the open rooftop hits my clammy skin, and I feel like I am breathing properly for the first time that night.I walk to the glass railing and lean on it, looking at the glimmering skyline of the city. It’s a beautiful night, so different from all the ugly emotions churning inside me.Where did it start? Where will it end? My heart on the floor, stomped and bloodied? My honor and sanity to shits? All because my heart, my whole body, and my life seem to be starting because someone is activating all of these things within me?Why does it have to be the wrong person? Why does it have to be the one person who doesn’t love me, will never love me, let alone accept me?I am pathetic.I knew this would happen if I let it happen. I fell into the trap that’s called zade. I am going to get burned, scorched, and burnt to ashes.He was kissing her as he looked at me. I led him on, trapping him in my trap, tempti
Last Updated : 2025-02-12THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS I WANT YOUR LOVE
ARI“It’s a little desperate, isn't it?”“wh-what?”He starts walking towards me slowly, hands in his pocket. The shadows are obscuring most of his face, and he doesn’t make it near me, standing a few feet away.“Isn't it desperate?”Did he see me?“what are you trying to achieve here, silvers? Mmh?”“I-I don’t know what you mean.”He sighs, face titling to the sky. “why are you doing this?”My face is flush red. I know I am supposed to be sacred he might have watched me as I touched myself. I should be embarrassed that I was thinking about him that way, but all I can feel is a thrill. He is here; he is in front of me.Did he come for me?“Is this what you wanted?”“I know better than to want anything from you.” I hate how I sound. Weak. Desperate. Breathy.“you let him touch
Last Updated : 2025-02-13
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THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS ALL OR NOTHING
ARI“What's going on inside this little mind?” his voice is so close to me, nose brushing my temple.I should feel something. A tingle, but I am so damn tired. All I want is to sleep, forget that I exist for a few hours before I start going back to my life. I can't escape it anymore, now can I?“Nothing,” I sigh. “I am just a little sleepy.”Is he expecting more from me tonight?I wish I had the girls with me. They would allow me to be in your space. Maybe I should call them, text them, but I don't have my phone. I remember crashing it in the hotel suite before I walked out into the traffic.Maybe I am not as okay as I think. But getting a grip is important.If I am going to avenge and face the people who ruined me to begin with, I can't let go of the reality. I need to be focused and work hard to make sure they don’t destroy me before I destroy them.I know I am not going to come out of it. The plans I made to go study law as further studies, get out of the pack and live my life as a
THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS BROKEN DOLL
ARIMy life is a mess.It’s a fucked life, painful, dry, bland, void of colour.I am ugly too, rotting slowly inside, underserving of anything good because that’s just what is set in stone for me.Despite it all, despite feeling all of that, as Zade looks at me like I mean something, like I matter … I can't help but want to be under that gaze for a longer time.He is looking at me how he used to look at Olivia, like he might love me, like I mean something. He wants to know if I am okay, taking care of me, a gentle, caring touch on my cold, withering soul.I don’t deserve it, and yet.I yearn for it. Crave it. I can't not shudder under it.“Do you want me to ask you?”Yes. I want him to ask me. I want him to push for me to tell him what's going on in my head. For him to fight for me. I am selfish like that. Mother didn’t say anything untrue, because here I am, asking and taking what doesn’t belong to me.I came into this life, took Olivia’s man under fate’s guidance, and yes. It hurt.
THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS WHY WONT YOU ASK ME?
ARII don’t think I have ever truly let myself think deeply about Zade, who is becoming, and his birthright. I am not one to attach my identity to the boy I am seeing or crushing on, and in this case, the boy I am mated to.But it's still heavy. I find it … sexy that he is already so mature, powerful too, and it's only going to get even better.Yes, I think I am crushing on Zade, and I can't control choking on my water once that fully hits me.“Are you okay?” he asks me as he rushes to my side, rubbing my back.“Yeah,” I wheeze out. “Guess I am a little surprised.”“Why?” he chuckles as he gets back to cooking.“The first thing someone sees when they see you is how spoiled you are.” That’s not true.The first thing I saw and felt when I first laid my eyes on him was just how magnetic and powerful he was. Yes, you could tell from miles away that he is wealthy, but it wasn’t the kind I got from the rest of the students.No, his was the quiet, generational wealth that just didn’t come fr
THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS THIS IS STRANGE, BUT I AM NOT SAYING I DON'T LIKE IT
ARIIt’s weird.I woke up feeling this gut-wrenching painful reminder that I was still alive, that I am still feeling, and my mind is still as loud as before.I wasn’t ready to face myself, the world, or even reality, so I went back to sleep despite not knowing where I was. I could hear someone, a female, who would come and look after me once in a while. I should have been worried that a stranger was hovering over me.But I didn’t care. That’s how gone I was. I did manage to sleep more until I woke up again, and the tension in my temples was lessening.Someone was touching me like I was so fragile, and I could feel how gentle they were being. I knew it was Zade even before I could open my eyes.It felt better, the chatter, the exhaustion… it all lessened when he was around like this. It’s something I have come to notice, not ready to admit it yet, but it’s there.I could hear his thoughts. They were so unguarded, I wondered if he knew I could hear them, and it’s the first time I've be
THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS FEED ME NOW
ZADEShe is so beautiful.I exhale softly as I sit on the bed, watching her sleep. I can't resist reaching out with gentle fingers as I push back her hair off her face.Her hands are tucked under her chin, pressed to her chest, her body curled in as if she is feeling cold or protecting herself from something.But she isn't feeling cold; her body temperature is higher, too, which prompts me to stand up and walk over to the screen door. I slide it open, and the soft light curtains let the air in, billowing soundlessly.I had this bedroom built with a terrace garden, so it feels like someone is sleeping in a garden. I know she will love it when she wakes up.I sit on the floor, watching her as she exhales softly once cool air hits her skin.She had a massive panic attack, and I wasn’t there to help her. The first one she ever had was when she saw me kill that crush of hers –something I don’t regret, but I do regret triggering it- and she broke down in the bathroom.I knew she didn’t want
THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS IT'S ME AND YOU NOW
ZADEMercy.That word alone makes me hit her at the back of the neck as gently as I can, rendering her unconscious. I hold her limp body, my eyes on her now sleeping face, as I breathe hard.I am scared.I almost lost her a few minutes ago, and then watched her as she almost slipped out of her mind. I stand up as I carry her bridal style to my car, where I am parked. I don’t mind the eyes on me, murmuring bout the girl who almost got run over by walking to the busy highway.I secure Ari on the seat before I get in myself and drive away.I knew something was off, from the moment I saw her mother walking out of the hotel, minutes after I had dropped ari and then the coldness that overcame me like I had been pushed in an extremely icy frozen lake.I don’t think twice, taking her to my private home, somewhere no one knows, not even my father. She is still out cold, and I start to worry that I might have hurt her. Lying her gently on the bed, I clean her up, making sure she is comfortable
THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS LET ME GO, PLEASE
ARISomething is breaking inside me.I can’t feel my touch, even as I touch my chest. I have gone numb, nothing truly registering as I sit on the floor, remaining in a state of static as she has left me.What you are doing is not worth it.Not worth it.Nothing is worth it.What do I do now?A murderer. A misguided child. Doing things that I shouldn’t, wrecking her life.A broken wail escapes my lips as I hunch down, feeling like I am taking my first breath.This is not how it was supposed to go. How can this happen? I killed someone, but I don’t know why. I don’t know why I keep getting angry, like I am in a cage, and when I am let out, I lash out at the first person closest.I wish I could stop, remember myself, and stop getting so angry, to stop my actions before they are thrown back at me, like I am going crazy and need to be put down.Everything I am doing feels wrong. Everyone keeps telling me that I am doing the wrong thing the wrong way.I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’
THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS IT'S ALL PILING UP, I DONT THINK I WILL MAKE IT OUT
ARIMy phone starts to vibrate incessantly, but I choose to ignore it.Everything is overwhelming. From this car ride, to the boy sitting next to me. I just want to be alone, maybe stare at the wall in silence for hours until I feel like I am coming back to myself.But it won't stop, now starting to ring nonstop. I sigh, picking it up and seeing that my mother has sent me a bunch of texts, starting calm, asking if she can talk to me until they all progress, calm evolving to anger.“Stop calling me,” I say as soon as I answer the tenth call.“Where are you?”“Why?”“I need to speak to you,” she sounds like she is out of breath.For a second, I thought the bad guys who had been chasing us had come back, and she was in danger.“Are you okay?” I sit up, alert. “Are you in danger?”“No, but we need to talk immediately. If not, I will go to your dorm and then we can talk there, but I am sure you don't want people to eavesdrop on this conversation.”My heart is hammering, and I can feel the
THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS WE BOTH KNOW I WAS HEADING HERE
ZADEI don’t think twice, swerving the car by the side of the road and killing the engine. It happens all too fast, and Ari is heaving fast, palm pressed on her chest as she looks at me like I have lost my mind.Maybe I have, but I can't have this conversation while driving.“Why did you stop? Let’s get going, I need to get my car back and go on about my day.”“I am sorry.” It comes out in a whisper, where I bow my head, forehead pressed on the wheel.“Call it even, I left you for dead anyway,” she says, sitting back.“I am sorry,” I repeat, this time a little louder. When she doesn’t say anything, I turn my head to her. She is looking anywhere but at me.She knows what I mean, it’s the very thing that has been hanging above us, the thing that has been suffocating us both. The unspoken thing.“I don’t know what you are apologizing for.” She can't even look at me.“I am sorry for rejecting you, Ari.”The silence that stretches between us is deafening.Until she breaks it with a word th
