OLIVIA“I want to be with you tonight.”He doesn’t seem to be breathing, frozen in place. A bitter taste fills my mouth and I ready myself for the excuse that's about to come.I have known for a while now that my boyfriend doesn’t desire me anymore. He doesn’t touch me nor look at me the same way he used to look at me. At least back then, he pretended to care enough and be present enough to make me believe.He pretended enough with me and I was content with it, as long as I held onto the illusion of a happy couple, as long as we pretended that we were both happy with each other, then everything was perfect.When was the last time things were seamless and smooth and it didn't feel like we were characters just saying designated lines?“livie.” His sigh tells me everything. I nod, the burger feeling like metal sitting in my stomach. Turning my back to him, I sigh as I look around the rooftop.This damned place.It was where we escaped together, where we were just two kids in love. We had
ZADEAs I watch the orange flame, I flick the lighter in and off.I can hear her. She is fast asleep.I push off the door and make my way toward the room I am meant to be in.I don’t have to knock, the door slightly ajar. I push it open, eyes adjusting to the slightly dark room and there she is.Standing at the front of the room, wearing nothing but lingerie that accentuates her body, looking like a sinful wet dream.“you came.”I odnt bother removing my leather jacket, stiding ovet to her. her gasp arouses something in me that akes me curl my hand around her neck and push her agsint the wall.Fear and … hesitation flashes in her eyes as I tighten my fingers around her throat.“Zade,” she tries to claw my hand away but it's useless.I don’t wait for her to utter another word, swallowing it in my mouth as I take her puckered lips in my mouth. I am not gentle, as I unclench my fingers, and I give her a bruising kiss.My teeth clang into hers. I can feel she is trying to keep up but she
ZADE“I don’t plan on being cute with you tonight.”My hand slowly caresses her skin, from her ankl,e to her thigh, traveling up her leg, watching fascination how she trembles and goosebumps leave in my wake, the higher I go.I kneel on the bed, slowly hovering above her, my elbow beside her head as I glide my palm softly on her skin, reaching her waist, to her ribcage, going up … feeling the swell of her breast, as I go further up until I reach her neck.I finally look at her face, her eyes hooded, her lashes fluttering as she looks up at me. I blink and I don’t see Livie but…Ari as she looks up at me, those smoldering eyes looking up at me.My breath hitches, freezing in place. I blink again and it's back to Livie, who is looking at me with desire, her hand going up from my chest, to my neck and finally to my jaw.“Baby?”What's going on?I lower my head towards her and kiss her softly, my lips pressing on hers, not going in, just feeling her plush soft lips on me.But it feels dif
ARII wake up in a gasp, my whole body feeling so sore and achy.Startled, I touch between my legs, and a blush creeps up my neck to my ears. My sleeping shorts are soaked.“uuurgh,” I groan, burying my face in my palms. What was that dream? Is that why I feel like I ran a marathon?I have never had such a dream before, let alone think of something like that. I mean I have always been curious but I thought I was asexual since none of the boys or girls I have met ever aroused such emotions from me.But that dream … why did it feel like it happened in real-time? And worst of all, it had to be with that stupid boy?!“This is so fucked up,” I groan as I push the covers off me and run to the bathroom. It is embarrassing enough that I am still tingling down there, worse than the moment he comes into my mind I want to feel as I felt in my dreams.Ahh, this is driving me insane!I set the water to ice cold as I strip and toss the wet shots and the tank top into the dryer before stepping into
ARII don’t want to leave the confines of my room.“This is THE gala. How can you think of not attending?” mimi I holding the gowns that Mother sent over for this birthday party I am supposed to attend tonight.“it's too last minute, I am not ready to mingle with the legacies.” She might have told me days ago but I have been avoiding everyone and the world.“believe it or not, you are a legacy too, missing this would be fatal. Like declaring a war or something.”I gape at Mimi. “are you serious?”“no,” she pushes her glasses up. “but missing the birthday party of your grandfather,” she raises her finger up when I narrow my eyes. “step-grandfather, that would mean that you are cutting yourself off the social group.”“I don’t see how that is a bad thing. The more you talk, the more enticing it gets that I miss it and just stay in bed watching Netflix.”“it's bad because this man is powerful and might bring problems to your father-in-law which leads to your mother. You said that you alwa
ZADEI hate parties.A place where people come and mingle, pretend and laugh, drink, make a mess of themselves and then go home. Its too loud, its too much faking for me to handle yet here I am, smiling so effortlessly and even laughing you would never think I am not having the best time of my life.“I am so glad you two are sticking together. Everyone heard that the goddess didn’t fate you and it was just so sad,” the tall man with large eyes that looks like beads, glazed from having too many glasses of wine cocks his head in sympathy.“We are in love, of course, we will fight for our love. Nothing is ever a done deal, especially not to us, who are already arranged to marry.”Kill me now.Olivia touches my arm as she leans forward, her smile gleaming so perfectly and the man sighs in contentment. “yes, you are the epitome of a good daughter. I wish my daughter was like you.”“Kaitlyn is just as perfect mr.Nikolai,” Olivia chuckles and the man man shakes his head.“I was hoping she wo
ZADEMy hand is shaking as I look at him with her.“Baby, you are bleeding!” Olivia rushes to my side and grabs my hand. “what happened?”I shrug her hold off my hand gently, looking away. “it's nothing. Just a small scratch it; will heal in a minute.”She grabs it again persistently. " You have shards of glass in the flesh; let me clean you up.”Logan looks at me and I shake my head. Everything is fine, I am fine I won't jump off and go punch my father right in his face even if it's all I ache for now.Logan seems to feel content that I won't storm off and sits back in his chair, back to being broody. That’s why he is my closest friend. There is Rowan and Cass as well but I am closest with him. he understands me, sees the darkness chiurning inside me, and doesn’t seem frightened by it. He encourages me to look at it once in a while too.He once told me it's good to be familiar with all of you because the longer you ignore those parts, the stronger and more pressing they get. When it
ARII shouldn’t have come.“my baby!” a kiss on my cheek. “you look so beautiful.”“thank you mom, you look amazing too as always,” I look ar her side at the man who is smiling, hand on the small of her waist. “Mr. Parkers, thank you for inviting me.”He chuckles and steps in front of me. “when will you stop addressing me so formally?” probably never? He leans in for a hug. Its stiff, all my joints and limbs locked and I count the seconds until its all over.“the place looks wonderful.” It does. The who place is decorated so beautifully, I feel like I have walked rihght in a movie set.“my father loves everything to be a high luxury, everyone must have a good experience at his parties.”As I look around, I feel a smoldering gaze on my left and when i lock eyes with the silver ones, I feel my heart lurch to my throat.I knew he would be here, its his grandfafther’s party after all. I also expected the girl in his arm too, she is his girlfriend after all.I hate how my stomach drops whe
ZADEEverything should have gotten better.No, everything should have changed once I decided not to let my dislike for silvers get in the way of me making amends to her. But she has been avoiding me and acting like I don’t exist at all.I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind before but now? now she is all I see. Now she is the epitome of my existence.She is posing a challenge and that is to ignore me and treat me like I am inviscible. Like we are not bonded and I cant sometimes fele her when she hasn’t blocked me out.Like I cant feel her so close to me like we are sharing the same skin, breathing the same air. We are intertwined, I am wearing her mark on my skin, and she is wearing mine, a sign that we are meant to be together, wheter we like it or not.I haven't liked it for a long time and I hated her some more for it. But even then, when I was swimming in my denial, I knew that my life would never be the same once she busted in.She is not someone you simply forget or even
ARII learnt how to drive when I was thirteen.My mother was so sick in the middle of the night, and it was the month we had to stay in a cabin away from towns and civilisations because she feared that the ones we had been running away from had caught up to us.I still don’t have a driver’s license, but I am a decent driver.The car, too, is so good and so sexy that I can't help the laugh that bubbles out of my throat. When I told Mr. Parker that I needed a car to get out of school like other students, he told me he already had one for me.It was a gift that he didn't think I would like but bought anyway. He is … thoughtful and trying to fill in my father's role.I appreciate that.I run my hands on the steering wheel, smiling so widely my cheeks are aching.A black mustang; sporty, sexy, just how I love it. The interior is all dark red and leather too, that new smell making my norse itch and I giggle as I start it, gearing as I speed out of the gate.Weeks ago I couldn’t get out of t
ARII am a girl that is broken.I have tried not to let it consume me, and when it was too much for me, I have tried containing it so that it won't consume those around me.Life for me has not been easy. It has been an endless darkness that threatens to twist me and fold me, shatter every new vine, every bone I form, and render me helpless, weak all my life.You can say I have tried not to let it show that I am drowning and just how broken and damaged I am. My mother can't tell you that I have been dead; she thinks I am fine.How can she know when my one purpose in life was to ensure that she never once realized the truth about me?But I am tired of keeping the darkness away. I am tired of carrying it like it weighs nothing, when it's only I who knows the truth about it—about the weight. I have been dead for a long time, just floating in the world.I have had to be with nothing, be nothing that it has infused in my blood, in my psyche. If you are nothing, if you don’t know anything, t
ARI“Are you sure you're okay?”“I am,” I take Max’s hand. “I promise if I feel any discomfort pain, I will tell you immediately.”She laughs. “You better.”“Okay, Mom,” I roll my eyes as I get off the bed. I have been cooped up here for some reason, but I have had enough.“I am just taking care of you, I feel partly responsible for this.” She isn't looking at me, head bowed in guilt.“You have no reason to. You aren't the one who pushed me off the roof,” I shrug. “I was a little reckless too, going up there in the middle of the night to meet with the same girl who beat me to death a few days earlier.”“Why did you?”I sigh, leaning on the small closet in the room where my clothes have been put. “I wanted to get it over with? I knew we had to talk at some point, so getting that out of the way … and I was curious what she wanted to say.”She frowns, obviously disagreeing with my choices. I can't blame her, I mean, look where it got me. "What did she want?”“She wanted me to stay away f
ZADEI get to my room, feeling like I am about to lose it, only to find …“I have been waiting for you.”Olivia. Naked in my bed, waiting for me.“I knew we had to talk alone,” she kneels on the bed.My strides are quick as I reach over to the bed and clamp my fingers around her neck, making her gasp and look up at me with wide eyes, confusion, and then terror reflecting in her eyes.“I told you I don’t allow anyone in my bed.” I don’t feel a thing, not even as she starts to scratch my hand, trying to get me to let her go.“I thought I made myself clear when I told you that me amd you are done. Why don’t you get through that your little skull?”I squeeze tighter, all the mindache that has been assaulting me since I got away from that hospital room, finally zeroing in on the girl in front of me. Maybe she should die.Would Silvers forgive me if I killed her? Would she see this as a good form of apology? Will it be enough?Olivia starts to lose consciousness, the fight leaving her body.
ZADE“I did it for you.”Experated sigh, then an eye roll. “I didn’t think you were attached to her like this. Don’t you hate her?”The longer Olivia keeps talking, the angrier I get.“Get out.”She looks at me, surprised. “What?”“Get out.”“You can't be serious,” she huffs, flicking her hair over her shoulder. You can't talk to me like that and tell me to leave just because of her.”I have a feeling if she doesn’t move, I might remove her myself. “I am. Now get out while I am being nice.”She tripped. I am not to blame that she is clumsy! What was I supposed to do when she fell? Jump after her? I called you, that’s enough to show I care.”“you didn’t call me, I found out on my own.” my hands are shaking. I a barely holding myself back from making sure she gets what she has done to ari only worse.“Whatever, all I am saying is, I did it for you. I called you and found you not because of her but for you.”“Olivia.”“You only call me that when you are serious.”“I want you to listen ca
ARII shouldn’t have agreed to come here.I don’t trust her, but I couldn’t ignore the call either. I wonder what she wants to say now that she has called me.The location too is very strange. I mean, who call someone up a frooftop in the middle of the night all in the name of talking?Olivia, that’s who.“I thought you wouldn’t come.” Her voice echoes before I see her. She shows herself from the stone she was leaning against, blending in with the shadows.“I was curious as to what you wanted to say to me.” I try not to show that I am intimidated by her. She did try to kill me, so of course I am wary. I would be a fool if I weren’t.“I suppose you would be,” she chuckles, tilting her head to the side. Her long hair slides off her shoulder, making the angle even more alluring. I still cant see her face, as her back is facing where the moon is illimunating from the sky.Soo, talk,” I shrug, hoping she will start already and I can go back to sleep. Not that I was, but she doesn’t need to
ZADEI don’t move an inch from where I am, exhaling slowly as Olivia sits next to me, shoulder to shoulder. I didn’t hear her coming up.I must have been distracted. Again.“can't sleep?”“When have I ever been able to?”She chuckles, before laying her head on my shoulder. “sorry, I forgot you are an insomniac like me.”When I don’t say anything, she sighs. “Just one of the things we are alike, don’t you agree?”“I guess.” I have been trying to spend less time with her. She must have noticed that he sought me out like this.“You haven’t come to see me for a while. I am starting to think you are ignoring me again.”“I have been busy.”“If its school work, I know you are way ahead and you have already aced the exams even before they are announced.”“I have other duties other than academics.”“I know, I have your full schedule, remember?”Right, I forgot.“Why have you been ignoring me?”“I thought it would be easier if we slowly got out of each other's lives.” Not even my grandpa is sup
ZADEShe has changed.It's in the way she is talking and interacting with others, or lack thereof.It's in the way I can't seem to be getting under her skin anymore. Even the way she is looking at me nowadays, like she can see me but not really. As if she is looking right through me. Together and in front of me but not truly with me.It's annoying me.We are back to the academy, thank hells for that because I couldn’t take more of that camp any more. I dont want to be around her, so close yet so far away and I don’t know how to even fix it.She was starting to look at me differently, too. It started as wariness, then to fear and then to something akin to … familiarity. Comfortable.But now it’s something I hadn’t seen from her before. She is looking at me like I don’t matter at al. she can see me and in her mind, I simply don’t matter, don’t hold anything of importance for her to regard me as anything but someone who she has to deal with in the specific moment I am with her.I don’t l